“Come on, I’ll drive,” she said. Sitting peacefully with a thin covering of dust along its frame was her black Jeep. I hadn’t seen it in years. I actually missed it. Some of the best memories I had of Maui took place in that vehicle.
“Okay,” I smiled.
~ Cool: Gwen Stefani ~
The thought of seeing my daughter after five years away was paralyzing. Asia sat patiently in the driver’s seat as she waited for me to collect my racing fears. And Sam, what was I supposed to say to her after the last time we spoke. It didn’t end well. My stomach filled with stinging fireflies. Asia had told me on the way that my mother would call ahead to let them know we were coming over.
“Are you ready?” Asia asked, quietly.
I found her strong eyes with mine. “She’s going to hate me.”
“Possibly,” she said, brutally. It hurt and I began to shrink in my seat. “But then you’ll fix things, Max.”
“How?”
Asia pulled my face to hers with her cooling hands and kissed me slow and beautifully. “Easy. Just love her.”
“Okay,” I mumbled.
Slowly, we both slid from the Jeep and began the short walk to the Summer’s front door. Sam’s parent’s house. The same place she learned my secrets, my past, my curse. Seeing the deep red front door made the air run from my lungs. Asia placed a firm hand along my lower back and electricity slid up my spine, calming me in seconds. Before I could reach out and knock on the door, it opened.
“Aloha, Brother,” Kai greeted me. He looked much older. I guess the stress of his mainland job was getting to him. Gone was his wild locks of dirty-blonde hair. Now, there was only a closely shaved head with brown highlights. His exuberant smile was still alive and well though.
“Kai,” I barely said. He reached out a stiff hand and without thinking, I shook it. He noticed immediately the heat I was generating and nodded in recognition of my returned powers. He offered another handshake to Asia and she politely accepted.
“Come in, come in, I’m so happy the invitation found its way to you, Brother,” he said, as if there was never any animosity between the two of us. He and Sam must have really grown close.
I waited for Asia to enter first and then walked in behind her. No one else was around. Thank goodness, I didn’t think I could handle this reunion with Sam’s parents here too. They weren’t my biggest fans.
“How have you been, Max, I haven’t heard from you in forever.” He smiled.
“Kai, I sent letters for Madi…I sent birthday gifts…” I started to say upset.
He looked at me calmly. “That’s weird, I never saw anything. Oh well, you’re here now…”
“I don’t understand,” I began to sulk when Sam appeared from behind Kai’s shoulder. Her hair was short, but still full of golden curls. It fell inches above her freckled shoulders. Her eyes were still as green as emeralds, but they carried with it an adult confidence. The kind of shine you earn from being a parent, I think. She greeted Asia with a large smile and a small hug. Asia said nothing but watched her defensively.
When Sam stepped up to me, she embraced me and said, “Welcome home, Max.”
I didn’t know what to say. My hands popped with heat and you could actually hear the moment it happened. I rubbed them together and willed them back to normal.No fires right now, stupid! I scolded myself.
“Madison will be very excited to see both of you. She’s missed you so much,” Sam said, ignoring the obvious question;Didn’t Sam want me out of all their lives?
“She has?” I finally spoke.
Sam walked back to Kai and tucked herself under his fit arm. But as she did, she stole a quick glance back at me. The same kind of look I had seen on her face whenever she had something important to tell me. It faded quickly though and I tried my best to pretend I hadn’t seen it. Asia slid her hand in mine and Sam focused on the move, but kept a welcoming smile along her lips.
“Congratulations,” Asia said, breaking up the tension.
“Thank you,” Kai said, on autopilot. He was surprised by her response, but relieved.
“Why come back here to have the wedding?” Asia asked.
Sam answered her, “It just seemed the easiest. Both our families still live here and Seattle is so far away.” She carefully looked up at me again. “Also, part of me will always be an island girl. It just felt right to have the ceremony here.”
“And it’s where we first met,” Kai added, bluntly. I fidgeted in my stance a little.
Just then, Madi burstfrom the hallway to greet us all, but when she saw me standing there, she stopped in her tracks. Madison Lee, my beautiful baby girl was barely a baby girl anymore. Her small frame was almost four-feet high now. Her arms lanky and adorned in brilliant colored bracelets made of tiny rubber bands. She was wrapped in a summer dress with thin straps over her shoulders. Just like the style Sam was so fond of. Tucked under the dress was a black T-Shirt with the top part of anAerosmith logo peeking from her chest. She had her hair down and it was long enough to reach halfway down her back. It was light brown and curled slightly at the ends, probably from the warm humidity of the island. Her eyes were just as green as Sam’s, but they seemed even bigger than I remembered. She was the most perfect person I had ever seen.
“Madison, look who came by to say aloha before the big day,” Sam said, trying to encourage her to come closer.
Madi stared at me hard for a moment, and I could feel those pesky fireflies crawling up my throat.
“Hey, pretty girl, do you remember me?” Asia asked, lightening the moment. Madi whipped her head toward Asia quickly and looked her up and down. “I’m Asia.”
Madi slowly stepped up to her, ignoring me completely. Asia knelt down to greet her with a smile, eye to eye. Madi tilted her head to the side and studied her features.
“Maybe this will help.” Asia smiled. Gently, she took Madi’s hands in hers and placed them on her cool cheeks. When her small fingers connected with Asia’s skin, thunder rolled over the house and Asia’s face filled with soothing heat. Sam looked at me with the first hint of worry.
Softly, Madi whispered, “I remember you.”
Asia grinned. “You and I have been on a great adventure before.”
“We have?” Madi asked, wide-eyed.
“Yes. One day, maybe I’ll have time to share it with you,” Asia said, and let go of her warm hands. Asia glanced my way with a raised eyebrow that told me everything. Little Madison was growing very powerful.
“Okay.” Madison smiled, finally. Asia stood back up and nudged me forward. Madi’s smile fell away and she glared up at me, with tiny daggers in her eyes.
“Hello,” I said, and my voice cracked a little. She just continued to stare at me. Reluctantly, I tried again. “I’m so happy to see you, Madi.”
The sound of her name coming from my mouth was enough to ignite the famous Valentine temper.
“Good for you!” she shouted. Sam scooped up her hand and pulled her closer to her.
“Madi Lee, that’s not how we talk to people. You know better, young lady.”
“That’s not people, Mommy…” she said, as if the words tasted awful in her mouth.
“Max is your father, and you don’t talk to him that way,” Sam scolded for my benefit, but I don’t think she disagreed too much.
Kneeling down, I reached for her slightly, “I’ve missed you.” She pulled from me and ran to the edge of the hallway.
“Madi, get back over here. Don’t run from your dad,” Kai tried to say.
Slamming her daggers directly into my heart, Madi cursed, “I don’t have a dad.” With hot tears pushing down her cheeks she ran down the hall and slammed her bedroom door. Sam and Kai turned to me with dreadful faces. Asia placed a hand on my back and if she hadn’t, I don’t think I would have had the strength to keep standing up on my own. My daughter hated me.
“I’m sorry, Max…she’s just a tad emotional. You know, with the wedding and everything,” Kai tried t
o convince me.
I just looked over at him in disgust.
Asia had seen enough though. “Come on, we’ll try again tomorrow.”
“All right,” I said, breaking. Slowly, I shuffled my feet toward the front door. Asia carried me with her strength even though I could sense that it hurt her too when Madi spoke to me that way. Her bond was still strong with Madi. At least Madi would still have Asia in her life. As I stumbled for the Jeep, Sam ran up to me.
“Max,” she said, and pulled me aside. Asia climbed in the truck and started the engine, never removing Sam from her sight.
“This was a bad idea, Sam. I should have stayed away.”
“Don’t say that. You know that’s not true,” she argued, softly. “I’ll bring her by tomorrow. I have a busy day…”
“You mean with your wedding the following day,” I said it with pain in my voice, and it stunned her a little. She quickly collected herself and tried again.
“That’s right, my wedding.” Her eyes cut through me and for a split second they seemed scared. I leaned in closer without even realizing I was doing it. Sam continued, “Tomorrow morning, be ready. As you have seen, she has your temper.”
Her words actually managed to bring a smile to my face. It was small, but it was there. I let a long sigh escape and nodded, okay. She smiled and pulled open the passenger door for me to climb in. Asia put the truck in gear and placed an expensive pair of sunglasses over her stare. She smiled toward Sam, but I could see her defenses going up.
“Goodbye, Sam. Thank you for inviting us to your life changing day.” The wind swirled around the truck and Sam stepped back just before Asia pulled away. As Asia raced down the road I watched Sam in the side mirror. She stayed in the view of the shaking glass until we turned around a corner.
Feeling awful about how easily my daughter damaged me, I eventually said, “Well, I guess I deserved that.”
“You completely do,” Asia said as fact.
“Thanks a lot,” I sulked.Way to kick me when I’m down.
“Max, I don’t think you understand what I mean. Of course you deserved that anger, that pain from Madi. She loves you.”
“Huh?”
“The more you care for someone the more hate they make you feel. She is four-feet of emotional glycerin,” Asia said, and floored the gas pedal. We tore along the road with the smell of rain in our noses.
“You think so?” I asked, still not believing.
“Max, if there’s one thing I know it’s what it feels like to care for you,” Asia explained, with a hand to the back of my neck. She smiled my way, and declared…
“That little girl loves you like a supernova.”
TWENTY-SEVEN: SOUR GIRL
~ Sour Girl: Stone Temple Pilots ~
Monday morning - 7:57 a.m. - June 17th
Asia made sure everyone was up and ready for a day of shopping. Her excuse to get everyone out of my house before Madison was dropped off. It was my only chance to fix things with my daughter before the wedding. I didn’t think I could fix everything in one day, but I was willing to try. I wasn’t able to sleep a wink the night before and the baggage under my eyes proved it.
Sam had said she would be over around eight in the morning. Like torture, I watched the kitchen clock tick away the seconds as I waited for the sound of Sam’s vehicle. With a large gulp of my morning coffee mug, I rubbed my eyes and yawned. When they opened I was no longer by myself.
“Big day today!”Uncle Frank said, proudly.Great, perfect timing.
“Hey, Uncle,” I said, with a blank stare. I raised my cup to him as if to say cheers. Had I really fallen this far? I was making toasts with my invisible uncle.
“Don’t be nervous, my son. You’ll do great today.”
“Well, I’m starting the day off pretty good. Talking to dead people is always a fantastic sign that I have my shit together,” I huffed. My head fell against the kitchen counter in a thud. Frank let out a loud and heartfelt laugh. It rang throughout the whole house and made me miss him so badly.
“I’ve missed your spirit, Max!”
“Clever choice of words, Uncle.”
“I thought so too.” He smiled beside me.
“Madi will be here any second, so whatever cryptic advice you need to tell me, you better do it quick,” I demanded, with a heavy head propped up on my hand.
“That’s funny…” he sighed.
“What’s funny?” I asked, confused. His body began to fade into the morning light again.
“I only come here when you want me to.” Like a whisper he was gone. I rubbed the sides of my head and mouthed the words…
“Trust the pain.”
Suddenly, a car horn signaled Madi’s arrival and I gathered myself as best I could and walked to the front door. Sam and Madi were at my door in a matter of seconds and it was obvious that Madi hadn’t slept very well either. Like father, like daughter…I suppose.
“Good morning,” Sam greeted. She quickly searched the house for any signs of other people.
“It’s just me.” I smiled. She noticed the bags under my eyes and scrunched her nose a little. The freckles collected along it playfully.
“Long night?” she asked.
I nodded yes.
She cautiously directed my eyes down to Madi who was standing at her side with a death grip on her mother’s hand and eyelids as droopy as mine.
“Morning,” I offered to her.
Madi looked up at me and huffed. “Mommy, do I have to do this?”
“Yes,” Sam ordered, sweetly. “Trust me, you’ll have the best time. You used to love it here.”
Hearing Sam say that, flattered me and made me believe that maybe there was some hope after all.
“Doubt it,” Madi grumbled.
“Hey! Be good, little lady.” Sam bent over and kissed her on top of her head. “Play your cards right and Daddy just might sing for you today. You used to love when he did that,” she said, with a curious look.
Was Sam hinting at something. I stole a quick glance at Sam’s thoughtful eyes before offering my hand to Madi. “I guess I could pull out my guitar.”
“I hope so,” Sam’s voice carried a hint of a familiar feeling…yearning.
Madi looked past my hand and ran for the living room couch and jumped onto the middle cushion with a plop.
“Maybe later, then,” I sighed.
“Have her home by seven, she needs a bath before her bedtime. That work for you?” Sam asked.
I nodded yes.
She offered a polite hug and headed out the door. Just as she began to close it I called to her, but I wasn’t sure why. “Sam.”
“Yes,” she said, from over her shoulder. I stared at her for a few strained seconds and she turned to me and let a half-smile curl along the side of her mouth. “Max?”
With a quick brush of my hair behind my ear, I mumbled, “Nothing.”
“Okay. Goodbye,” she said, and slowly closed the front door. She never took her eyes from mine until it closed. Moments later Sam drove off leaving me with my sour but beautiful daughter. I casually sat down next to her on the couch and looked around the room waiting for my words to find me. After five minutes, Madi spoke up.
“Where’s Ozzy?”
“Umm, he’s still back in Arizona. He couldn’t make the trip this time.”
Without missing a beat, she rolled her eyes. “Perfect.”
The first couple hours were the worst. Madi and I didn’t talk much. She colored a picture for her mom, a sunflower. She played a few Xbox video games and we had an awkward lunch together. Peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches with slices of watermelon on the side. After lunch Madi was cleaning up in the bathroom as I picked up our small mess at the kitchen table. When I was done, I found her snooping around my bedroom. I hugged the outer rim of the door and watched her for a moment. She didn’t see me at first.
First she walked over to my windowsill and placed her hands along faint burn markings in the wood were my o
verzealous fires had scarred it. Then she stepped up to my desk and found a stack of pictures laying upon it. The first picture was of Kai and I at the beach from when we were in high school. Sam had taken the photo with her professional camera on one of our earlier adventures together. Madi quickly tossed it aside and picked up the next one, a picture of Asia. She smiled wide and traced the picture with her finger. That’s when she noticed the next picture. She slowly replaced the one she had with the new one. Her eyes searched it hard. Finally, she turned it over and read what was scribbled along the back.
“Mia Valentine, age seven.”
She gently placed it back on the desk and turned around.
“Hey.” I smiled as my presence startled her a little. She huffed in a new pout, and I pushed inside my room. “You up for a little adventure?”
She shrugged her shoulders, but I could see something had changed in her eyes. “I guess.” I waved for her to follow me, but before she did, she stole another glance at the picture of my sister.
At the green and lush site on the edge of Kalama Beach Park, Madi climbed into one of the swings and kicked her legs. I gave her a small shove and the ocean wind caught inside her hair. Suddenly, she did something I hadn’t seen her do since I had been back…smile. After a few minutes we walked over to a picnic bench dug in the grass. She climbed up to the top of it and proceeded to walk the edge of it back and forth. I sat down on one side and watched her carefully, ready to swoop in and catch her if she fell.
She inhaled a huge chunk of air and relaxed. I could tell she loved the beach. At that moment she reminded me of my long lost sister, Mia. I took out my cell phone and snapped a quick picture of her lost in the moment. Her eyes whipped over to me in surprise.
“I didn’t mean to startle you, Madi. I just wanted to save that moment.”
Stubbornly, she asked, “Why?”
“Just reminded me of someone,” I said.
“Mia?” she asked, tilting her face directly into the cool breeze.