The fact that I found a pair of used panties in my locker doesn’t even bother me. I mean, I’m going to have to start wearing rubber gloves everywhere, but even my tormenters at Astor Park Prep can’t get me down now.
“Did you get laid last night?” Val demands as we set down our lunch trays later.
Do I have a sign on my forehead? “Why? What do you see?”
“You have this sick, happy face that people who get it regular and get it good wear.” She slumps with disgust into her seat.
“I didn’t get laid last night,” I promise her.
“You did something.” She inspects me carefully, as if there’s some evidence of Reed’s fingers on my face. “With him?” She tips her head in the direction of the cashier, where Reed is paying for his lunch. My face must have given it away, because she groans. “You did. You took him back. Why?”
My spine feels all prickly. Val isn’t usually judgmental, but right now her disapproval is written all over her face. “What, are you going to unfriend me now?” I say sarcastically.
Her expression instantly softens. “No! Of course not. But I don’t understand. You said you couldn’t forgive him.”
“I guess I was wrong.” I sigh. “I love him, Val. Maybe it makes me the dumbest girl on the planet, but I really want to try to make things work with him. I…miss him.”
She makes a frustrated noise. “I miss Tam, too. Look at the stupid shit I did the other night, and for what? We can’t take these assholes back or we’ll never be able to live with ourselves.”
“I know and trust me, if I was sitting in your seat, I’d be rolling my eyes, too.” I nibble on the corner of my lip. I can’t reveal exactly what Reed’s issues are, because that’s private, but I want Val to understand. The only reason she’s pressing me is that she cares, which I really do appreciate.
“So what is it? Is he just really good at groveling?”
Why did I forgive Reed? It wasn’t because he had a sad story and that he made me feel good, because those aren’t reasons to be with anyone who treated a girl the way Reed treated me.
My connection to him is…complicated. Even I can’t make sense of it half the time. I just know that I get him on a deeper level, that his loss speaks to mine. That his happiness stirs my own. That his struggle to find some sense in this crazy world is as familiar to me as my own skin.
Carefully, I try to explain this to Val. “I took him back because I don’t know if there’s anyone I understand better or who gets me in the same way. You don’t know this, but a couple weeks after I got here, I had a meltdown all over Reed and started hitting him in the car.”
Val’s lips twitch. “Seriously?”
I’m glad to see her smiling. Val’s friendship is as important as anything these days. “Seriously. He held me off with one hand while still driving us home. And even when he said he hated me, he still drove me to school every day. I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel like we’re the same. Some days I’m hormonal and weepy and some days he’s an asshole, but we’re made out of the same bits of flesh and bone and screwed up emotions.”
“Have you even tried another guy?”
“No. And even if I did, it wouldn’t work. He wouldn’t be…Reed.”
She sighs, but it’s a sound of acceptance. “I’m not going to pretend to understand, but I decided after the other night that I’m moving on.”
“You might want to wait until your bruise fades. How’d you even explain that to your family?”
“I said I walked into a door. It’s true enough, except the door was some girl’s face.”
“Are we going to the game tonight?”
She pokes at her quinoa veggie bowl. “I don’t know. I think I’m done with Astor guys.”
“How about the hottie sitting next to Easton?” I ask.
She peers past my shoulders. “Liam Hunter?”
“He looks…intense.”
“He is intense. And probably on top of my list of guys to avoid. He’s like Tam. A poor boy with a big chip on his shoulder who wants to make it big. He’d use me up like Kleenex and then toss me away.” She uncaps her water bottle. “What I need is a rich boy, because they don’t attach to people, only things. If they don’t attach to me, then I won’t attach to them.”
I start to tell her that isn’t how it works, that you can fall in love with people who can’t stand you. Look at me and Reed. I fell for him while he was pushing me away and treating me awful. I kept loving him despite finding out some pretty horrible things. But Val isn’t hearing me. She’s still wrapped up in her hurt and that’s the only voice in her head right now.
“You need a rich boy to use, I’m your man.”
We both twist around to see Wade sidling up to our table.
Val gives him a cool appraisal. I can tell she likes what she sees, but that’s not much of a surprise. Wade is hot. “If I used you, then you’d have to abstain from other girls.”
“What do you mean?” he asks, looking genuinely confused. Fidelity is obviously a foreign concept to him.
“She means that while the two of you are using each other, you don’t go outside of that friends-with-benefits relationship,” I explain.
He frowns. “But—”
Val cuts him off. “Forget it, Wade. I’d do things to you that would blow your mind, and then you’d never be able to enjoy yourself again because you’d keep comparing all your other girls to me and coming up short.”
His mouth hangs open.
I grin, because this is the first time I’ve ever seen someone get the better of Wade. “She knows things,” I confirm, even though I don’t have a clue what I’m talking about.
“You know things,” he croaks out.
Val nods. “I do.”
Wade instantly falls on one knee. “Oh, dear maiden. Please allow me to insert my member into your cavern of pleasure and take you to heights only the immortals have known.”
Val stands and picks up her tray. “If that’s your idea of dirty talk, you’ve got a lot to learn. Come with me.”
She walks off.
Wade turns to me and silently mouths, “Dirty talk,” with childish glee.
I shrug and raise my hands, and he runs after Val. Like literally sprints.
“Do I want to know what that was all about?” Reed asks, setting his tray down next to mine.
“I don’t think so. Honestly, I’m not even sure I could explain it if you asked.”
26
At the football game, everyone seems to know Callum Royal. Or at least, everyone wants to appear to know him. People in the stands rise and hail him with a wave. Some stop him at the bottom of the bleachers before we can find an open seat. He shakes a few hands. More than one person comments about his loss, which I find kind of rude. Callum’s wife died two years ago. Why even bring it up? But Callum smiles and thanks each person for thinking of him and his family. It takes thirty minutes before we climb the bleachers to find a seat in the parents’ section.
“You sure you don’t want to sit with your friends?” He waves a hand toward the middle section of the bleachers, which is arranged in alternating colors of blue and gold. He squints. “All the jersey-wearing girls are down there.”
My shoulders twitch under Reed’s jersey. I didn’t wear it to school, much to Reed’s frustration, but I’m wearing it now. I figured that by sitting with Callum, the jersey looks like I’m supporting the family instead of Reed personally. Callum’s wearing Easton’s jersey, and he fills it out pretty well. I look like I’m swimming in mine.
“Nah, I’m good. We gotta save a seat for Val,” I remind him.
But even if Val wasn’t coming, I would still rather sit away from my “friends.” I find the entirety of Astor Park Prep a bunch of assholes. The pranks at school have died down, but not completely. My locker was jammed the other day and I couldn’t get it open in time to make it to class. Thankfully the teacher accepted my explanation for being late. In PE this week, my underwear went m
issing and I had to go around for the rest of the day commando.
I made the mistake of telling Reed this and he dragged me into a music practice room to “see for himself.” That made me late for bio, and Easton, who’s in the class with me, immediately guessed why and teased me mercilessly.
“You play football in high school, Callum?” I ask as we watch the team warm up by doing some weird leg lifts in unison.
“Yep. I played tight end.”
I smirk. The football terms are so dirty.
Callum winks as if he knows exactly what I’m thinking. “And your dad played the same position that Reed plays. Defensive end.”
“Did you know that my mom was sixteen when she met Steve?” I thought about the age difference the other day and was slightly horrified. Callum is in his mid-forties, and if the two of them went to high school together, that would make Steve the same age. My mom was seventeen when she had me. Sixteen when she got knocked up. So I guess Steve was a dog even back then. None of that makes me glad he’s dead, though.
“Never thought of it, but you’re right.” Callum casts me an uncomfortable glance. “The girls around the base bars are…it’s hard to tell how old they are.”
I roll my eyes. “Callum, I was fifteen and dancing in strip clubs. I know it’s hard to tell the difference. It was just a thought that popped into my mind.”
“Steve wouldn’t have taken advantage of a woman. He wasn’t that type.”
“I never said he did. Mom didn’t have a bad word to say about my sperm donor.”
Callum grimaces. “I wish you could have met him. He was a good man.” He snaps his fingers. “We should have a visit with some of our old SEAL buddies. You don’t know a man until you’ve slept in a hole in a desert with him for seven days.”
“That sounds legit terrible.” I screw up my nose. “I think I’ll take shopping trips for the win, Alex.”
He laughs. “Fair enough. Oh, here’s Valerie.” He stands up and gestures for Val to come and join us.
She’s all smiles when she takes a seat beside me. “Hey girl, what’s up?”
“Oh good, you’re here to save me from Callum’s literal war stories.”
At Val’s blank look, Callum explains, “I was telling Ella that she needs to meet some navy buddies of her dad’s.”
“Ahh. I met Steve once. Did I ever tell you that?”
“No, when?” I ask curiously.
“It was at Fall Formal last year.” She leans around me to look at Callum. “Remember? You brought the boys in a helicopter?”
My mouth falls open. “For real? A helicopter?”
Callum barks with laughter. “I’d forgotten. Yup. We were testing out a new prototype and Steve wanted to give it a go. We picked up the boys and their dates and flew them up and down the coast for an hour before landing on the school grounds. Beringer had a coronary over that. I had to shell out a landscaping architecture donation.” He grins broadly. “Worth it.”
“Sheesh. No wonder the girls climb all over themselves to date the Royals.”
“Ella,” Callum says with a mock-wounded look, “my sons are pictures of masculine virility. It’s their character that draws the women and not their pocket books.”
“You keep telling yourself that.”
Someone grabs Callum before he can respond. As he leans away, Val nudges me. “So everyone is happy family at the Royal palace again?”
“I don’t know. It seems like we’re getting along?”
“This is the first time since Maria died that Callum Royal’s attended one of his son’s games,” she says pointedly. “I can’t be the only one who noticed. Everyone’s kind of looking at the two of you differently, too.”
“In what way?” I study the crowd, but beyond the stares that I usually get, I’m not sure what’s different.
“Just that you’re so easy with each other. He clearly likes you, and not in a gross way that people gossip about. But you’re laughing and he’s pretty talkative. It’s just different. Callum’s a big deal and lots of adults want his approval.”
“Or access to his bank account.”
She shrugs. “Same difference. Maybe it’ll help at school. If these assholes’ parents knew that Callum Royal’s ward was being mistreated, a lot of allowances would be suspended.”
“It’s already dying down,” I admit. “The worst thing this week was my missing underwear.”
“Yeah, I heard that was a real problem for you.” She rolls her eyes. “Maybe you should look closer to home for the perpetrator behind that theft.”
I grin. “Reed doesn’t need to steal my clothes to get his hands on me.”
“You’re disgusting,” she says with clear affection.
“You’re still the best I’ve had in my bed,” I assure her. “How’s things on the Hiro front?”
“I don’t know. He’s hot and all but he doesn’t really get my engine running.”
“What about Wade?” According to Val, they’d skipped fourth period today and fooled around in a supply closet, but she hadn’t offered any more details than that.
“He’s too practiced. Everything that comes out of his mouth is completely unserious. Like, I don’t know what he’d do if a girl told him she loved him. That might be his worst nightmare. Like yours and mine are spiders crawling into our mouths”—I shudder—“but his are legions of girls standing up and saying, Wade, I love you. Let’s be serious. I bet he wakes up at night, sweating in fear.”
“You’ve given this a lot of thought.”
“Better than dwelling on Tam.”
“True.”
The stands rise in unison as the band begins to play the national anthem, interrupting our conversation. Callum stands beside me, rigid at attention. I guess some habits die hard. Val’s to my right. My man’s on the field. On my back, the word Royal is emblazoned on my borrowed jersey.
I’ve never felt this accepted before. It’s weird and wonderful and I can’t keep the smile off my face. The game is an utter blowout, and once it’s over, all anyone can talk about is the playoffs that are rolling around the corner.
On our way out, Callum stops about two bleachers from the landing and reaches across a few people to tap a small, wiry man on the shoulder.
“Mark, how are you?” Callum says politely.
A spot of tension starts spreading across my shoulders at Callum’s suddenly cool tone.
“Could you step down for a minute? I wanted to have a word with you.”
It’s not a request, but a command. Everyone around us gets it, because the row stands as one to make way for Mark.
“That’s my uncle,” Val hisses in my ear.
I’ve never met Jordan’s parents before, and Callum doesn’t introduce us. Instead, he holds out his arm, almost as a barricade, forcing Mark Carrington to descend in front of us. Mark stops at the bottom of the bleachers, but something in Callum’s face has him whipping around and walking quickly toward the stairs leading to the ground.
“What’s going on?” I mutter out of the side of my mouth.
Val gives me a baffled look. Since Callum hasn’t told me to get lost, I follow him with Val on my heels.
“That’s far enough,” Callum says once we’re about twenty feet away from the bleachers.
“What’s this about, Royal?”
Callum reaches behind him and manages to clasp onto my wrist without even looking. He drags me forward. “I don’t believe you’ve met my new ward. Ella Harper. She’s Steve’s daughter.”
Mr. Carrington pales, but offers his hand. Bewildered, I shake it.
“Nice to meet you, Ella.”
“Nice to meet you too, sir. I’m friends with Val.” I haul her next to me much like Callum pulled me to his side.
Val gives a weak wave. “Hey, Uncle Mark.”
“Hello, Val.”
“This is nice, isn’t it?” Callum remarks. “My ward and yours being friends?”
Mark nods uncertainly. “Yes, good to have
friends.”
Val slips her hand into mine.
“Ella is very important to my family and I’m glad she’s being welcomed with open arms into the Astor Park community. It would disturb me greatly to hear that she was being mistreated in any way. I’m sure you wouldn’t stand for that, would you, Mark?”
“Of course I wouldn’t.”
“Your daughter is quite popular at Astor, isn’t she?” Callum’s tone is so mild he could be discussing the weather, but something about his words makes Mark’s face go pale.
“Jordan has many friends.”
“Good. I know that her friendliness extends to Ella, just as my goodwill extends toward your family.”
Mark clears his throat. “I have no doubt that Ella is the perfect addition to my daughter’s circle.”
“Me too, Carrington. Me too. You can go and find your family now.” Callum gives Mark a dismissive look and turns to me. “Why don’t you girls find the boys while I have Durand bring the car around?”
“Uh, sure,” I stutter, but as he starts to walk off, the urge to find out exactly what he knows comes over me and I drop Val’s hand to chase after him. “Callum, wait up.”
He waits for me. “Yes?”
“Why’d you do that?”
He gives me an impatient look. “I’m never the first to know things that are going on. I left that up to Maria, but I always figure it out eventually. So I know that your car was gone for a week because someone gave it a bath in honey and I know that Reed and East fight for the hell of it on the weekends and I know that you’re not just wearing this for the sake of school spirit.” He fingers the cuff of the Reed’s jersey, then releases the fabric and, with a crooked smile, turns me toward the field. “Go find our boys, honey, and I’ll see you all at home. Don’t be too late and stay close to your brothers.” He stops and then sighs. “Well, I guess they aren’t your brothers, are they?”
God, I hope not. My mind whirling, I walk back to Val.
“Did Callum just threaten Uncle Mark?” she asks in confusion.
“I think so?”
“Did you tell him about your car?”