“Please don’t let him hurt me Brax. I’m scared…”
ALMOST LOST
Never Forgotten
Book 1, never forgotten series
T.L. Sieving
Released on November 5th, 2013
Chapter 1
As I stand here looking at myself in the mirror, over-drying my thick long dark hair, I replay the past 18 years of my life and everything that has led me to this day, the day I finally leave for college.
My reflection shows someone refreshed, confident, well rested and even beautiful – absolutely nothing of what I perceive of myself at this moment. I stick to my normal routine of drying my hair, using my straightener to take out the natural waves and end with some face lotion. I never wear any makeup, but then again I’m only 18 and my boyfriend always told me he loved my natural beauty.
I leave the bathroom and mentally chant ‘I can do this. I can do this.’ before walking through my childhood bedroom, down the stairs, and out the front door. My bags are packed and loaded. The only thing missing from the car is me.
The car door shuts and we drive down my street, the same way I've done for so many years but this time there's no curfew or immediate plan to return. My emotions are holding up better than I expected. I’m keeping it together and not crying – that is until we get on the highway and the decision I made is no longer a plan. It’s reality.
I’m expected to move into a dorm this morning at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, which is only 25 miles from where I grew up. As we get on the highway we’re not headed toward Ann Arbor, we’re going east toward New York City. I had a last-minute change of plans when both my best friend and my boyfriend of 12 years broke my heart. Instead of attending UofM I’m moving to New York City and attending NYU.
Chase and I grew up together and I thought we were going to last forever. Not just a lifetime, but forever. We were only kindergarteners when we met, but we clicked immediately. I discovered what it felt like for a boy to notice me at only 6 years old. He was the first and only boy I ever liked. There was something about the way that Chase Perri looked at me and cared for me that set the standard of how I’d always want to be treated.
Of course my best friend Alexis Martin didn’t treat me the same way, but we were complete opposites which I thought made us so compatible. Lexie, as I call her, has always been a little catty. I don’t blame her for it. She always caught the attention of older boys in school and the girls never liked that. Lexie is beautiful. She’s blond, super skinny, and looks like a model (something her parents wouldn’t ever let her try).
Lexie and I met in preschool. Our parents instantly had a connection and we used to be able to play at the playground for hours after school. We had this unbreakable bond until halfway through high school when she caused some drama that ended our friendship.
It was our sophomore year when Chase and I had our first fight and Lexie was behind it. I remember I was in 4th hour, and was taking a quiz. Lexie leans toward me and says, “I’m sorry.”
I whisper back, “Yeah, ok.” Was she copying off of me?
“Chase and I have been hooking up.” Lexie whispers.
“Chase who?” Not for a minute would I even consider my boyfriend, Chase Perri, cheating on me. Not because I’m naïve, I know people cheat, but I trust Chase completely.
“Your Chase!” Lexie insisted. Then she started crying.
When the bell rang signaling the end of the class she sprung out of her seat and got right in my face.
“We've been hooking up all year, he told me he’s always had these feelings for me and even you can see it. We want to be together but he’s afraid of hurting you. He doesn’t like you anymore. You always do what’s right so just let him go.”
Chase was in our class, but paid us no attention until Lexie’s tone caught him and he came to ask if everything was ok.
Before I could speak Lexie shouted out, “I just told her Chase, don’t worry it will be fine!”
Chase asked her if she told me about the conversation they had in art class and Lexie told him “yes.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I quickly excused myself and walked out. If Chase didn’t just confirm that it was true I wouldn't have believed it and I didn’t want to listen to this any longer.
I was shaking, I'd never been so mad before, ever! I heard Chase yell, “Lucy!” but thankfully he got caught by a teacher who needed to discuss tutoring schedules so I was in the clear.
I walked straight to the office and tried to call my mom. I needed her to excuse me for the day so I could leave, but I kept getting her voicemail. I sat in the office for another hour still without tears, just anger.
Lexie was my best friend. I’d known her since preschool. Chase was my other half, my best friend, my boyfriend, the one I thought I could always count on. Well, that’s what Chase was. I mentally pushed this aside, held my head up high, and walked to my next class. I missed my 5th hour, but I could still make it to 6th.
Chase saw me walking to class and dragged me into an empty classroom. “That totally freaked you out? I’m so sorry.” He said, looking like he may cry.
“What are you sorry about Chase?” I’m using my bitchiest tone, one I never used with him.
“I never should've asked Lexie for advice on how to tell you.” Chase whispered.
“Tell me what Chase?” I was shaking again and tears were threatening. ‘Oh God, please don’t let me break down here,’ I thought. Chase moved in really close and wrapped his arms around me. For one last time I wanted to let him hold me and breathe him in.
“Tell you that I love you Luciana Jane Stevens.” Chase said in the sexiest voice he’d ever used with me. He never used my full name, ever.
“What?” I whispered. I wanted to make sure I heard him correctly.
“I love you Lucy, I love you.”
We'd been together since kindergarten, but we'd never said those words before. We never tried to be more grown up than we thought we were and our parents did everything they could to make sure we knew proper boundaries.
“But… But…,” was all I could say. I was shaking as a plethora of emotions flooded through me.
“Lucy,” Chase said, “I don’t mean to rush us…I’d wait 10 more years to tell you if that’s what you wanted.”
I decide to just lay it all out and be honest and tell him what Lexie had told me in math class. I wasn’t trying to kill our moment, but I needed to tell him exactly what was going on.
“Did you believe her?” Chase asked, looking defeated.
“I didn’t believe it until you asked her if she told me ‘the’ secret and she said yes,” I told him, but quickly added, “I love you too, Chase.”
How could Lexie have made this up? I had no idea what could make her want to hurt me or Chase. I’ve known her forever and shared every bit of my life with her up to that point.
“I love you too, Lucy.” Chase said with a giant smile on his face.
The moment was not lost - that moment is one I’ll remember forever. He kissed me and I didn’t want to let him go.
After that Lexie didn’t want to be my friend anymore. She stopped talking to me and if she wasn’t going to apologize to us then I wasn’t going to try to talk to her. The thing that hurt the most was being betrayed by such a close friend. Someone I trusted so much. After that, we went two years without talking.
Although she tossed our friendship away so easily, I eventually gave our friendship another chance during our senior year. Lexie finally apologized and seemed very sad about what had happened between us. I would’ve accepted her apology and been cordial, but I really didn’t expect to be friends with her again.
It wasn’t until she further explained the situation and how she was jealous of me that I reconsidered our friendship. I couldn’t believe that Lexie, of all people, would be jealous of me. She’s easily 5’10 and has a model’s body. I’m barely 5’2 and at 88 pounds I could pass for being 13 years old. Not much to be jealous of in my mi
nd!
When I asked her what she meant by her statement ‘you always do what’s right,’ and she told me she was referring to how everyone always told her that I was the ‘nice one’ and that the only thing ‘nice’ about her was me.
What really surprised me was when she told me she had a crush on Chase at the time and was just tired of me having it all.
I never knew I had a competition with Lexie, or that she could be jealous of me. I was sad that she felt threatened by me and that she let it play into her insecurities.
Since she was so honest and open with me, I thought she deserved another chance after she promised that something like that would never happen again.
Prologue
Who would have thought life would turn out the way it has certainly not me. Growing up is anything but normal, well that’s not entirely true, it started normal and then became a real life nightmare.
How can a family go from loving and supportive to painful and abusive? How can you think you know someone and love them only to find out they’re nothing more than a lie; a façade that they put on for you and everyone else in the community.
I know how horrible life can be. It’s definitely not rainbows and sunshine and certainly not happily ever after. You trust no one but yourself because trusting others allows you to put yourself in harm’s way and I definitely will never do that again.
t. h. snyder, Touched By You (The Touch Series)
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