“I think you need to call Macsen and ask him where he is.”
Severine had seen that look. She had given that look to so many girls throughout the years. It was a look of pity when they’d been steamrolled by a guy. Her heart slowed. She wanted to look over the couch to see what Lily was talking about, but there was no need, she already knew.
Mutely, Severine nodded and found his name immediately. When she called his phone, he answered after the fourth ring.
“Hey, Sev.”
“Hey...” she paused and glanced over at Lily’s frantic face, before continuing. “I think I’m gonna come over and hang out. I really want to see you.”
She strained to hear anything as he breathed across the phone. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
Lily peeked her head over the couch once more and quickly moved back down. “Still there,” Lily mouthed.
Severine closed her eyes tight. Please don’t lie to me. Please don’t lie to me...
Her stomach was already dropping before he spoke, “Really? Okay, that’s fine. I’m not home yet though.”
“I’m just going to stop by Java. Do you want me to get you anything?” she gritted out through her teeth.
He paused on the phone. It felt like minutes. Severine glanced back at her spy, and found her looking over the edge of the couch. Lily reported back instantly and pointed her index finger at Severine, whispering. “Looking around for you!”
“You don’t have to,” Macsen said back. “But that’s really sweet of you.”
Severine mouthed to Lily, “Girl?”
Lily’s gaze was painful. But she nodded her head up and down. She confirmed it all.
Anger made her voice sure. It fueled her to speak. “You know what? Let’s forget coffee. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
She hung up before he could respond, stood to her full height, and walked with determination to the clear glass door.
Lily trailed behind her. “Severine, you need to wait.”
If he turned, he’d be able to see Severine looking at him. If he turned, he might be able to prepare himself for the shit Severine was about to unload on him. But that would give him a heads up. It was something he had never given her. Severine wasn’t going to extend him any favors.
He bent his head down to whisper in the girl’s ear. Severine could hear the laughter clearly. “I’m gonna kill him.”
“Shit,” Lily muttered. “I could be wrong. That could be his niece or cousin visiting for the holidays! Maybe his family is super close.”
Severine gave Lily a look and rammed her back into the door and walked outside, toward Macsen.
Chapter Twenty-six
Dark strands blew around her face wildly as Severine ran across the road to Macsen and the unknown girl. The sky was black, and the stars twinkled beautifully. A storm was coming up on them. The tree branches waved back and forth in the air and a slight drizzle of rain coated the asphalt. In an hour, it would turn into ice and everyone on the road would be more alert and careful. Severine was kicking herself for not applying that same theory to her life.
Behind her, she could hear Lily’s mumbling, “Shit, shit, shit. Double shit. Shit on a spatula, this is bad.”
Severine wasn’t stopping. Her eyes were glued to Macsen’s back. The closer she got to him...them, the more her hands shook. She considered herself to be a very pessimistic person, but the one thing she had predicted to bring her joy was now blowing her hopes into smithereens. And it hurt so fucking bad.
“Hey you,” Severine called out in a playful voice, if playful was the new vicious.
He turned around and those green eyes that had consumed her before looked at her with horror. If she weren’t the one getting crushed, Severine would’ve thought Macsen’s face to be priceless. Confusion mixed with fear. “Sev! I didn’t know you were here,” he uttered in a raspy voice. He sounded completely taken aback.
“I know you didn’t,” Severine snapped out. She looked behind him and saw the petite blonde that had been laughing earlier. She was the size of a Polly Pocket. With her bright blue eyes and pouty mouth, she could technically be labeled as pretty. Everything about her was unlike Severine.
Her lips wanted to quiver so badly. Instead, Severine bit down on the inside of her cheek to keep the action from happening. She didn’t want to give either one of them the satisfaction of seeing her pain.
Macsen was still in front of her—still frozen. Repeatedly, he blinked. His eyes never left her, and it was like he was unable to believe she was standing right in front of him. Like he couldn’t believe he had been caught.
She didn’t want to catch him on anything. He was hers. He was supposed to give her happiness and laughter. All of this felt like a joke. Severine was waiting for a bunch of people to run from the side of her car and yell out that she had just gotten Punk’d. Anything. Anything, but this.
“What are you doing?” It was his one chance to rectify the entire situation. This was Macsen’s one chance to step up and say that everything was a complete misunderstanding—that this blonde girl was a friend, a distant cousin, a random stranger...anything except what Severine’s mind was telling her it really was.
“I-I was just...”
The longer he stuttered, the more Severine’s pulse quickened.
“Who’s behind you?” Severine asked quietly.
He shook his head back and forth. He didn’t open his mouth up once, but the look in his eyes implied everything...everything he refused to admit. Severine took a shuddering breath and stared down at the asphalt.
“Mac, what’s going on?” the blue-eyed blonde behind him asked.
Severine’s heart was breaking. It was clenched tightly in Macsen’s hand, and the pieces of everything she trusted him with slipped in between his fingers.
Lily ran up to the three of them and stopped short when she saw the expression on Severine’s face. “Oh shit...”
With Lily by her side, Severine stepped away from Macsen and moved toward the blonde. Lily latched onto her forearm and followed. “What’s your name?”
There was nothing vindictive about this small girl. She looked just as lost as Severine. Right then Severine knew she wasn’t to blame. She had no idea Macsen belonged to somebody else. Even as Severine was running through her thoughts, this girl probably thought he was only exclusive with her. When she finally spoke up, her voice was meek—very timid. “Verity.”
Lily tsked lightly and glared darkly at Macsen who was watching the conversation unfold like it was a horror story. “Well, Verity,” Lily uttered with disgust, “from the shocked expression on your face, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that McSleazy over here didn’t tell you he had a girlfriend?”
Severine could see the insecurities playing across the blonde’s face, as she shook her head no.
“Sev-” Macsen pronounced slowly with his hands in the air. He appeared innocent, but Severine knew he was treading lightly. Soon he’d try to reason with her.
Verity stared between the two of them with wide eyes. Severine was humiliated. Macsen was the reason for this pain.
Lily held Severine’s wrist to hold her back, but she moved closer to Verity. “You know, you look nice and I’m sure this isn’t your fault, but if you don’t leave, you’ll more than likely be walking away with pieces of your Jessica Simpson clip-on extensions in your hands.”
Verity shifted nervously before she abruptly turned back to the coffee shop. “Mac, I’m gonna head out.”
“Yeah. I think that’s best,” Lily remarked coldly. With one squeeze on the shoulder, Lily moved away from Macsen and Severine. Her phone was glued to her ear, and she talked at a rapid pace.
She could’ve been talking to Ben, her mom, placing an order into Dominos...Severine would never know. Her eyes stared unblinkingly at Macsen, trying to figure out what he could possibly say to make any of this better. Her trust was solidly placed in him, and he had destroyed it all.
“Have you known Ver
ity long?”
Macsen’s eyes filled with pain. “No, only a month.”
It didn’t take long to do the math and figure out when the betrayal had first started. “During Thanksgiving break?” she whispered. He nodded his head. “And when my grandma died, you were with her?” she asked with a crack in her voice.
“Severine, I’m sorry.” He didn’t know about her dad or brother. He didn’t know the pain that came along with seeing Christian. When his voice broke, Severine wanted to pound her fist all over him for doing this to them—to her.
Controlling her anger had never been her strong suit. Tonight, her rage was boiling. It broke free from her emotions and guided her actions. When she stepped forward, she went at Macsen with everything she had. She had never thrown a punch before, but it came naturally. Maybe when a person went into self-preservation mode their body took over and controlled all movements. Her fist extended back and met him square in the jaw.
Her hand throbbed and hurt like hell. But it was worth the pain—worth seeing Macsen grab his jaw and rub.
Severine was ready for round two. She wanted to connect more punches to his face. She heard Lily’s yelp, but it came out muffled in her ears. Her anger made everything hazy.
A pair of large hands banded around her body and kept her immobile. “Down, girl,” Thayer muttered into her ear.
It was the irony of Thayer holding her back from Macsen made her laugh out crazily. She didn’t know which way was up, which way to go. Severine leaned her head back against his chest and clenched her eyes shut for a quick minute before she looked at Macsen.
“He’s a liar!” Severine screamed out. When she tried to jerk out of Thayer’s hold, he pressed her closer. It made her fight back more to get away. “He was fucking another girl! Shy, sweet Mac!”
“Severine, don’t,” Thayer remarked firmly.
She stopped fighting, long enough to pant out her words. Ben and Lily stood next to Severine’s car with identical expressions of shock. “I assume that I was one of those stupid girls and everyone knew but me?” Severine yelled out. She didn’t care who answered, she just wanted a response.
“Severine...it was just once,” Macsen disclosed quickly. “I promise you, I-”
“Silly me. Just once, why, that makes it all okay! Cheating on me is a completely normal thing to do.”
“Fuck,” Thayer muttered behind her.
“I...care for you so much, Sev,” Macsen declared his words with so much pain, Severine was surprised it didn’t bleed out of him.
Sleet picked up around them, and Severine could feel it coating her hair. It plastered around her cheeks, making her cold. But his words were more frigid than what the sky produced. It was just doing its job. Macsen had gone out of his way to bring her pain—whether he knew it or not.
He had never loved her and had at no time declared it. Severine had thought she was close to feeling that way with him. It hurt more than she wanted to admit, that she knew nothing about the word love. All it showed her was that cruel four-letter word was the color of onyx.
“But you ‘cared’ for her more. Clearly. I mean, you screwed a random girl but not your girlfriend.”
“Severine...” Thayer said gently in her ear. “I’m asking you to stop.”
Severine turned in his grasp and stared at him fiercely. “Yes, he did!” She made no sense. All she wanted was to get everything off her chest. “We never went far. He never did anything. That should have been my first clue!”
Thayer cringed and tucked her tightly underneath his arm. “Have Lily take you home.”
She didn’t want to leave—not when she was just getting started. Severine never had the opportunity to reply.
“You wanna step in now?” Macsen shouted at his brother. His rage came out as he clenched his fist. “You’re gonna sweep in and take her?”
“You can’t take what’s not yours, Macsen!” Severine screamed out.
Macsen didn’t back down like she expected. He pushed forward. Maybe he knew it was all coming to a close. He tried to touch her, but Severine recoiled away. It led her back to Thayer.
With his baseball cap in his hands, he held the bill with a knuckle white grip. “So you’re done then? You’re gonna walk away?”
Severine leaned toward his face. Her pain showed clearly. “With you? Yes. I’d rather walk alone!”
Thayer held both shoulders back, but she kept going. She was on autopilot and couldn’t stop if she wanted to. “I was stupid enough to believe that I could trust you!” Severine yelled out. Macsen recoiled back from her, and she quickly spoke before her voice became hoarse. “So go back to Haley, Verity...I bet one of them will still be waiting for you.”
“Let Lily take you home,” Thayer repeated again. His words broke through her anger, and she nodded as she stared at Macsen with a dead expression. Fitting, because that’s what he was to her.
Lily stepped forward to hold her hand tightly. Severine gave one look at Macsen, and his mouth was wide open like he couldn’t believe she was truly walking away. She couldn’t believe it herself.
“You’re a quitter, Sev! You’re running away!” Macsen’s harsh words felt like a whip had been cracked across her face.
“Just get the fuck out of here!” Thayer shouted. “You’re making this worse than it has to be!”
Macsen laughed darkly and gave his brother the finger. Severine didn’t know the person in front of her. “Fuck you, dude. You just want her for yourself.”
Severine shoved her face close to Macsen. “Stop it,” she hissed out. “You messed up. I’m not running away from anything! I’m leaving. Leaving because YOU,” her finger jabbed forcefully at his chest, “fucked up! You ruined everything!”
Both of his hands reached out to cup her face. Severine pushed away, but he held on. “I’m completely crazy about you, Severine! I made one fucking mistake! Just one!”
Ben yanked him away, and Lily slipped a comforting arm around her shoulder. “Let’s go.”
They walked across the pavement to Severine’s car. Behind her, Thayer talked to Macsen. She wanted to know what he was saying.
Severine finally had both Sloan brothers out of her life. And God, it hurt.
“Severine. Wait till we get home. Wait. Let loose then.”
They were close to her car when Ben looked back, “Ah, shit.”
He ran back, and Severine watched just as Thayer tackled Macsen to the black asphalt. It was a perfect place for him to be. His heart was as black as tar.
It didn’t hurt to watch Thayer throw punches onto his brother’s face. It also didn’t feel good. She was watching a relationship diffuse in front of her.
* * * * *
“I’m pathetic,” Severine’s voice hiccuped as she slammed her elbows on the kitchen table. All of this felt humiliating. What hurt the most was how she had trusted him.
“You’re not pathetic,” Lily said firmly. She rubbed Severine’s back and leaned down next to her chair. “He’s pathetic. He did this. No one made him.”
Severine moved her face away from her hands and glanced at her friend miserably. “I never thought he would do this. I gave him a chance.”
Lily nodded in understanding and wrapped a solid arm around her. “I know, honey.”
A pounding sounded in Ben’s house. Severine whipped her head toward the door.
“Ben,” Lily warned, “don’t you dare let him in!”
Ben was caught in the middle. He stared at Lily, and the door opened up behind him. Macsen walked across the room.
“Are you kidding me? Always lock the door behind you, Ben!”
“Sev, you and I need to talk about this,” Macsen pleaded as he walked closer.
Severine stood from the seat. It crashed to the floor behind her. Lily stood next to her and pointed a finger at Ben. “If you can’t lock a door, at least get him out of here!”
“Come on, bud.” Ben placed a hand on Macsen’s shoulder. “Let’s cool off outside.”
> Macsen shook him off and walked in the kitchen. “We need to talk alone.”
“You’d love that, wouldn’t you?” Lily bit out.
Macsen flicked an annoyed glance in her direction. “None of this even affects you. Back off, Lily!”
“You cheated on her. I encouraged her to date you, to trust you!” Lily shouted out.
“Just let me talk to him for a minute.”
Lily shook her head no. “You don’t have to talk to him. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“I want to do this.” When this is done, maybe he’ll leave me alone.
The need for some explanation made Severine want to talk to him, nothing else. All she wanted to know was why.
Why, why, why.
“Okay.” Lily leaned down and whispered into Severine’s ear, “I’ll leave, but I’m gonna camp out in the hall. The minute you want him gone, he’ll be outta here.” She turned away and settled her wrath on Macsen. “And you. Say anything out of line, and you’ll regret it. I’m short, but I gotta lot of anger I wanna get out. And you’re my target!”
“Come on, let’s go.” Ben rubbed her shoulders, but Lily kept talking. “Ben has a shovel somewhere! Believe me when I say no one would miss you!”
“Easy, Cujo,” Ben gently said.
They walked away, and Macsen ventured closer. The light revealed his swollen eye and lip. Severine felt nothing for his damaged face. It was all fair. Maybe he’d feel half the pain she was experiencing.
“Just talk. Get this over with.” Severine leaned against the kitchen counter.
“God, Severine, you have to know this was not planned. I fucked up once. I know that.” He was wise and stood on the opposite side of the room. His eyes still touched her even with the steps in between them. “I’m sorry. I can’t take this back. If I could, I would.”
“This changes everything.”
“It doesn’t have to,” Macsen pleaded. “It’ll take a while, but you could trust me again.”
“Maybe you’re confused. There’s no again!” Tears fell down her cheek as she spoke, “Being with that girl made it permanent. There’s never an ‘us’ again.”