“Why are you talking about Billy?” she asks dubiously.
I glance at Cas and understand what he was thinking. As soon as Alannah knows Billy had a kid, she’s going to feel even guiltier than she already does.
“Because I have a woman in my office with a kid,” Cas explains, but not enough to keep Alannah from jumping to conclusions.
“Oh God, I knew this day would come,” she groans.
“You did?”
“With the amount of whores you’ve slept with, one was bound to turn up sooner or later with your kid,” she frowns.
I sit back silently laughing at the misunderstood mishap playing out in front of me. Cas’s face falls when he hears how Alannah has interpreted his brief explanation.
“Fuck no Lana,” Billy’s kid. Not mine,” he says, adamantly.
Alannah exhales loudly when she learns she isn’t going to be playing stepmom and Cas then exhales when he sees she believes him.
“So, what’s going on then?” she asks, looking around the bar for any obvious signs.
“Like I said, there’s a woman in the office and she’s looking for Billy. The kid with her is apparently his.”
“What? What have you told her?”
“Nothin’ yet, I was waitin’ on Slade to see if she was tellin’ the truth and it looks like she is.”
If Alannah had been a weaker woman she would have tears in her eyes now, but she is standing strong and is clearly worrying.
“You’ll have to tell her what the town knows. He died in a car accident,” she murmured more to herself than to Cas.
“I know what to tell her babe, I just wanted to know who I was dealin’ with first.”
“Let’s get this over and done with,” I mutter.
I follow Cas to his office and was surprised that Alannah is trailing behind too. I said nothing of course, when it comes to Billy, Alannah has a tendency to protect him even in his grave. Cas strides towards his chair behind his desk and I move to the side to let Alannah pass making myself the last to enter. After closing the door and turning around, I am faced with the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
Her round face is framed by soft, light brown wisps of hair fallen from the bun she is wearing and her startling green eyes shooting around the room taking us all in are enticing framed with black, thick lashes. The beauty of this woman is all natural. She isn’t wearing a spec of make-up and I think I find this more alluring than anything. From her sitting position I can only see her legs but I am not complaining. They are long, tanned and look so very, very smooth.
Her impatient scowl doesn’t deter my rapid forming fantasies of ripping her top over her head and yanking those tight shorts down. If anything, her anger makes me want her more.
But, the kid she pulls protectively on her lap sure fucking prevents me from trying to make those fantasies become reality.
Kristen
All I want to know is if Billy is here or not? I don’t want to be in this office with my son, surrounded by the likes of these people.
‘What are you doing here Billy?’ I think to myself, taking in the wood panelled room. Zachery hasn’t been walking long but in the past month since he learnt to put one foot in front of the other, he’s always on the go. Like now, he’s toddling around touching anything and everything. When the door opens behind us and the guy who introduced himself as Cas walks in. He is followed by a woman with striking blonde hair and behind her is yet another biker dressed in jeans and leather. The woman looks at us like she’s in shock we are here. I pull Zachery onto my lap and hold him tight, the way she is staring is beginning to feel uncomfortable.
When the guy, Cas, is sat behind the desk and the second guy is standing by the door I hope one of them will begin explaining where Billy is so I can get the hell out of here.
“Sorry to leave you in here so long,” Cas begins, “This is Alannah and he’s Slade,” he added, pointing to the people who came in with him. I offer a small smile to the both of them.
“Look, I don’t mean to be rude but you can tell me if Billy is here or not?” I ask.
I can hear the tiredness and irritation in my voice. I knew it could be a long shot that Billy was still around here but they are dragging this out. A simple yes or no would be nice.
“How do you know Billy and why come lookin’ for him now?” he asks.
I don’t believe this, I feel like screaming. I came here looking for my friend and now it feels like I am being interrogated and not being told anything.
“Not that it is any of your business but I have had my own troubles and this is soonest I’ve been able to make the trip here,” I snap.
I really don’t see why I have to explain myself to them?
“Kristen, Billy isn’t here.”
“You could have told me that outside, I’ve woken Zachery from his nap and hauled him in here for nothing. No offence but this isn’t the kind of place I want my son in,” I say, not giving a shit who these people are. A simple yes or fucking no with no time wasted was all I wanted.
Lifting Zachery to my hip I stand up and I am about to bend down to pick my purse up when the blonde moves it out of my reach.
“You should sit down, he hasn’t finished yet,” she says softly, all the while keeping a sad eye on my son.
“Billy’s not here because he died over a year ago,” Cas says, with genuine sorrow.
He died? No, he couldn’t be dead. I suddenly felt the irritation leave me and a numbness slowly take over. It was like a calm, soothing wave passed over me before the storm of a hundred questions crashed the soothing wave and took root.
“How?” is my first question.
If I weren’t completely focused on waiting for his answer, I would have missed his eyes flick sharply and quickly to the woman beside me and back to me.
“He was involved in a car accident with four other of our brothers. We tried searching for any of Billy’s family but we couldn’t find anyone, especially not you.”
“He didn’t have any family,” I murmur quietly, trying to wrap my head around the fact he isn’t going to show up.
“You said he died over a year ago, when exactly was the accident?” I ask.
“Eighteen months ago,” the woman next to me says.
Thinking back over the months, he must have died shortly before I tried calling to tell him I was pregnant. Now I know why his phone always went to voicemail.
I can feel the tears beginning to sting my eyes but I don’t move to wipe them as they don’t spill over.
“He never told us he had a girl tucked away and a baby on the way,” the guy who was standing behind me says. He hasn’t said a word since he came in so his deep voice startles me.
I half turn in my chair to face him. On the inside I was wary, biker clubs don’t have the best reputations but on the outside, I remain brave but shaken from the news of Billy.
“I’m not his girl, he is…was my friend and he never knew I was pregnant, when I tried calling to tell him, it always went to voicemail,” I tell him.
It was true, Billy and I never went as far as the relationship stage. Our few hook ups were just that, hook ups.
I liked him enough to sleep with him but not enough to take it further, not that we had time for that what with him getting into trouble and bailing out of town. He was just my friend.
I don’t have the time to sit here and process this new information right now. I look down at Zachery who has been sitting quietly watching the new people around him with fascination and felt my heart break for him. He’s never going to know who his father is and I won’t be able to fill in who he was because apparently I hadn’t known Billy very well.
All the different scenarios I had imagined this day would be like, never once was it like this. I didn’t know where to go from here. We have no home or nobody around here we know, the plan was to start fresh once I had found Billy.
“We should go,” I try to say, but it comes out as a whisper.
?
??Are you going to be okay?” Alannah asks.
That’s her name, I remember now.
I can’t find any words to say so I say nothing and this time I stand with Zachery on my hip and take my purse from Alannah.
“We’ll be fine.”
“Here, take this,” Cas says, scribbling on a scrap of paper.
He hands it to me, it is a number.
“If you’re ever in trouble or need any sort of help, call us and we’ll be there,” he says, kindly and honestly.
I don’t plan on seeing these people ever again, but I take the number and shove it in my pocket to please him.
I don’t say goodbye and turn to leave. The guy behind me takes a few seconds too long to move aside, but as soon as he does I am out of the door.
Once back outside I head for my car and plan on driving as far as I can from here. With Zackery in his seat and the car in gear, I notice Alannah and they guy whose name I can’t remember standing by the door. They are both watching me, they are talking to each other although they aren’t moving their lips much.
Alannah wipes her eyes with her sleeve, she takes a step in my direction but the guy with her grabs her arm and stops her.
I would love to know what he’s saying to her to make her to stop. The little scene before makes me feel like they are hiding something. Did she want to tell me something? Why did he stop her? And why the hell is she so upset for? She could only have known Billy for roughly three months between him leaving me and his death.
Putting the car into reverse I back out of this strange place and try to think of what I am going to do next.
Chapter Three
Slade
Kristen must have been having a bad day when she took her picture for her driving licence. Seeing her a couple of days ago she holds a softer, more beautiful resemblance to the woman I’m staring at on the screen.
I was completely taken just staring at her picture that I didn’t notice Alannah slump down on the couch beside me until she spoke.
“Is she really okay? Her life I mean, her and the little boy,” she asks, as I quickly close the laptop.
“Going by her financials, she is more stable than us.”
Somehow I don’t think this will be enough to placate her. The moment she found out Billy had a kid her already permanent guilt was thrown into overdrive. She has been on edge since Kristen arrived.
“Billy told me he had nobody. He died not even knowing he was going to be a dad.”
I could hear the catch in her voice. It wasn’t fair how Billy got taken out but it wasn’t Alannah’s fault. She has got to get a grip on this, maybe I should have a word with Cas?
“Don’t go adding this to your already over piled guilt you got goin’ on,” I tell her, hoping she listens.
“Did you see how cute his boy was?”
To be honest, I was more focused on his mother than I was on the kid, and his mother is certainly very fucking cute.
“I was more focused on making sure she believed he died in a car accident to see the kid,” I lie.
I waited for the she-should-know-the-truth speech that I knew was coming but she remained silent for a moment.
“Will you keep an eye on her, do your tech magic and see where she goes?”
She didn’t need to ask, I was already on it. I kept telling myself it was because of Billy. As a brother, dead or alive, we are bound to look out for any one of our family members if a brother isn’t around.
“I already know she’s staying at the motel in town and she’s paid up till tomorrow,” I tell her.
From the way she jumps up to her feet I know I have given her the information she wanted to know all along.
“Thanks Slade, I’ll see you later,” she mutters distractedly, already heading for the door.
“Alannah, where are you going?” I shout after her, even though I have a pretty good idea.
She doesn’t answer me and doesn’t stop. Disconnecting the charger from the laptop I quickly follow her outside. I pick up into a jog before she can get to her car.
“Alannah, wait.”
I slam the door shut as she opens it and block her way.
“You’re going to see her aren’t you?”
“I have to see for myself that she’s okay. She came here so her son could meet his father, she found out that isn’t going to happen. I don’t need to remind you why that’s not going to happen, do I?” she rants.
I’m about to repeat it isn’t her fault for the millionth time but she carries on.
“You saw her when she left here, she’s on her own with a kid. I have to make sure she’s alright, then I’ll leave well alone,” she promises.
“You should call Cas and let him know,” I tell her out of duty.
Cas is currently running an errand with Sparky and Oak.
“He doesn’t need to know,” she tells me firmly, but I can tell she doesn’t believe herself.
“If you’re not going to tell him, then I’m coming with you.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“Of course I do. Now get in the car and I’m driving,” I say, receiving a cold stare as I take her car keys from her.
The car ride into town was in silence. Occasionally I glanced at Alannah, she was too deep in thought to notice. But I noticed all her emotions clear as day on her face.
Her guilt will cause suspicion if she doesn’t pull herself together. This is why I came, fuck knows what she’ll come out with if she goes alone.
“What happens if you find out she isn’t okay?” I ask.
“I don’t know.”
“There’s nothing you can do for this woman. If she’s struggling you can’t go taking her in.” I warn her, before she gets any ideas.
“I think that’s the least we can do.”
Every second this day continues it feels like trouble is coming for me from every corner of the world. Starting with my prez if I can’t keep his old lady under control.
“Okay, so you take her in and then what? She’ll be the only one who doesn’t know the truth. You’ll have to play along with the car accident story constantly and I don’t think you’re strong enough,” I say, beginning to lose my patience with her.
I’ve known Alannah for years and I would do anything for her but she knows better than this. She mulls over what I’ve said before she speaks.
“You’re right. I won’t say anything but I…hold on, is that her car? She points out towards Hanks diner.
“Let’s grab a coffee.”
I sigh heavily, there’s no stopping her. Even if Cas was here he would have a hard time keeping her away.
I pull into the car lot and park.
“Look, she’s sitting by the window,” Alannah points.
I shove her hand down, “Will you calm down and please, just act normal.”
“For God sake, stop worrying.”
She’s out and walking to the door before I’m out of the car. By the time I catch her up we’re inside and subtly Alannah slides into a booth opposite Kristen and her son.
They look like they’re half way through eating so it is probably unlikely they will be leaving soon.
Maggie, the oldest waitress in history, shuffles over and pours two cups of coffee.
“You two want any breakfast with your coffees?” she asks, digging around in her apron pockets for her little notebook and pen.
“Coffee will be all thanks,” I say, throwing Alannah a we’re-not-staying-that-long look.
Hearing my deep voice Kristen looks over at us, her reaction is common. A mix of the fear of the unknown and slight fascination.
She keeps her eyes on me longer than she does on Alannah. I hold her gaze and find myself smiling at her. For a fraction of a second she frowns before it is replaced with a returning smile.
This is being friendly I tell myself. Nothing more than a kind smile to a woman who is on the road on her own with a small child. When she turns back to her kid I feel a need to go over to her a
nd have her buzzing green eyes on me again.
I didn’t need to sit and debate about it for long as Alannah was already making her move.
A handful of pennies were suddenly skittering across the table and onto the floor, somehow managing to roll in Kristen’s direction.
Alannah is quick on her feet and making a show of picking them up, as she nears Kristen she smiles broadly and pauses her little act.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were still in town,” she begins.
No outsider would have guessed she had set that up just to speak to Kristen but to me, I’d congratulate her later on her smoothness.
“I decided to stay for a few days, this little one needs to stretch his legs after being cooped up in the car lately,” she replies, stroking the kid’s head.
“How long were you on the road?” Alannah asks, making herself comfortable at Kristen’s table.
“Too long,” she answers shortly, giving up no information about herself.
While they both talk away I remain in my seat and she answers Alannah’s questions about her son.
“Can I ask you a question?” Kristen asks.
She leans in closer and looks to me before she asks. Alannah nods encouragingly and leans in closer too.
“Were you and Billy…you know…together?” she stammers out.
I see Alannah visibly relax and so do I.
“No, I spent a lot of time with him before he died but he was my friend, there was nothing more on either side.”
“Oh, I just thought maybe there was more to you two.”
I couldn’t work out if she was jealous or curious at the thought of Billy with someone else, which makes me wonder why the hell I am so fucking interested?
“Please believe me, we were only friends.”
“I wish I had told him about Zachery as soon as I found out. Maybe things would’ve been different?”
I doubt it I think to myself and I know Alannah is thinking along the same lines. Billy was always going to die back then, it was the only reason Michael brought him into the club. We blamed the Raging Riders for his death but it was really down to Michael. When Hunter Carson killed Michael none of us held any regret in losing our then president. For what he had done to our club back in those days none of us would have been able to trust him with our lives, and that is something you have to have in a club like ours. You have to have trust.