“No, you weren’t. You were in a lot of pain, and I knew that. No apology is necessary.”
Seven Months Earlier
After arriving at the biker meeting and checking into their hotel rooms, Anthony and Grizz suggested the women rent a car and explore the small town where they were gathered. Besides, they didn’t want their women attending certain parts of the meeting. Even though a truce was called, there were no guarantees a fight wouldn’t break out. Christy and Kit secretly used the time to find a small clinic where they could confirm that Christy was indeed pregnant. Afterward, they picked up sandwiches and found a shady spot in a small park.
Kit gave her friend her undivided attention as Christy poured out her soul. Crying for and with the tormented woman, Kit blew her nose into the last unused napkins that came with their lunch. She’d used a pink bandana to tie around her ponytail and now offered it to Christy to wipe her tears.
When there was nothing left to say, Christy sniffled and asked, “How do you do it?”
“How do I do what?” Kit asked, her tone warm.
“How do you always seem so perfectly put together? I know that you live the same kind of life I live, but you always seem so calm and serene. I just told you a horrifying story of incest, rape and murder. I can see concern in your eyes, but not shock or judgment.”
“What in the world would ever lead you to think I would judge you, Christy?” Kit countered.
“Because I know you go to church. That you’re a person who has faith.” She looked away.
Kit smiled warmly. “Just because I go to church doesn’t give me the right to judge others and shame on anyone who does. Besides, faith isn’t about getting to check ‘Went to Church’ off your to-do list every week. Some of the most faith filled people I know don't or can’t even go to church.” She looked thoughtful for a moment and then added, "And, sadly, a lot of churches are filled with people that have no faith." She paused and then asked, “Now tell me why you think I would judge you?”
“Because I would judge me and so will Anthony. If he really knew, Kit, he would not only judge me, but he would regret the child I’m carrying.”
“You told me how he killed for you, Christy. And not just once. I can’t believe for even a second that Anthony would care about any of your past. I’ve known Anthony for only a few years, but I can tell you he’s exactly like Grizz in a lot of respects. They’re both men who know what they want, and nothing gets in the way of that. Certainly, not your obviously mentally ill father.”
“Exactly, Kit!” Christy said a little louder than she intended. “There is obviously a defect in my genes. Abigail was so ill. What if it’s because there’s something that’s not right inside of me? Something that I gave to her?”
They were sitting side by side on a picnic table bench when Kit leaned close to Christy and took her hand. “You had absolutely no control over any of this, Christy. You need to have some faith in—”
“Your God?” Christy yelled. She jumped up and stood looking down at Kit, her arms crossed and her chin raised. “Where was your God when my daughter died?”
“I guess He was in the same place He was when His Son died,” Kit answered quietly. She looked at Christy with huge, soulful brown eyes. Eyes that were filled with compassion.
Christy looked startled and didn’t know what to say.
“But that wasn’t what I was going to say, Christy. I was going to tell you that you need to have some faith in Anthony and his love for you.”
Christy sat back down, and her shoulders slumped. Kit wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.
“There’s more to it, Kit.” She looked sideways at her friend. “I’ve done things, too. I’ve done horrible things.”
“We all have, Christy,” Kit told her as she pulled her even closer. “We all have, my friend.”
Chapter Fifty-One
Naples, Florida 1985
Nothing causes time to fly by faster than raising a child. Christy breastfed her new baby boy, Christian, and watched from the sunroom as Anthony and three-year-old Slade played in the backyard. Anthony’s long black braid swung from side to side as he chased Slade who in turn was chasing Crook and Esmeralda.
She looked down at her son and noticed that his bright blue eyes had been fixated on her as he suckled. She smiled and stroked his soft cheek. He had Anthony’s dark skin and a shock of wild black hair that a bald baby girl might envy. Seeing his dark cheek against her pale breast reminded her of how different she and Anthony had seemed so many years ago. It had taken Anthony a while to see that the black and white world he’d lived in was filled with more shades of gray than he’d wanted to admit. “The criminal and the heiress sure know how to make beautiful babies,” she said out loud.
She glanced up and saw the same contrast when Anthony picked up Slade and swung him around. Slade favored Christy. His light arms were distinct against Anthony’s huge dark hands that held him tightly as they flew around in circles while both goats tried to keep up with them, nipping at Slade’s feet. The windows were closed, but Christy could hear the child’s squeals of delight.
She looked around the sunroom, and her eyes landed on some of the art projects she’d started, but had set aside when motherhood became a priority. A priority that she would never regret. She then reflected on the first picture she’d painted in this room. It was of a momentous thunderstorm with dark mountains in the background. She’d realized while painting it that the lightning didn’t seem as scary as she’d thought. And before she knew it, she was painting the reason why. As if in a trance, the mountain changed and began to resemble a man’s strong profile. Her man’s profile. When she’d finally built up the courage to show it to Anthony, he’d asked her if she was afraid of him. The answer was no. She wasn’t afraid of him. He was the reason she felt safe. That picture now hung over their bed, replacing the scary looking snarling bear she’d woken up to that first day after he’d abducted her from Vivian’s bedroom.
Not long after Slade was born, Christy sold the Chapman estate. And just last year, they decided to sell the dealerships. Anthony was in complete agreement with her, especially after getting a tip that there was a good chance of the operation getting some uninvited notice. Within hours of receiving that tip, Anthony heard the same news from Grizz. Anthony and Christy didn’t know where or how Grizz obtained certain information, but they never questioned it. Grizz was a good friend and a solid source.
Kit had recently shared with Christy that she was finally pregnant. She and Grizz were expecting before the end of the year.
Christy looked down at Christian and gently removed her nipple from his perfect tiny mouth. He started smiling in his sleep. Christy smiled too when she remembered what Gloria had told her a couple of years ago when she took a then baby Slade to the camp for her regular Tuesday afternoon visit.
“My momma always said that when they smile in their sleep like that, they’re talking to the angels.”
Christy warmed at the memory of Gloria’s words and kissed Christian on the forehead. She quietly reflected on how a conversation with Kit a few years ago, followed by Slade’s birth, allowed her to give God a second chance. She hadn’t realized how much anger, resentment and bitterness she’d clung to until she looked into Slade’s pale gray eyes. How could she love an innocent child with the untainted purity of a mother’s love when her heart was filled with hate and bitterness? Hate for Van who’d victimized her and the people who might have known and looked the other way; and bitterness for circumstances over which she’d had no control. If there was anything she’d learned from that epiphany, it was that with God’s help, she’d found a strength she didn’t know existed and a peace that had always eluded her.
The shrill ring of the phone broke through her tranquil and happy thoughts, and she grabbed the cordless phone quickly. Grateful that it didn’t wake Christian, she whispered, “Hello?”
What she heard next caused her heart to race. The fear that had tormented he
r soul so many years ago had become Kit’s reality. Grizz had been arrested.
Chapter Fifty-Two
Naples, Florida 1995
Ten years raced by and each one brought different heartbreaks, but also healing and happiness. It was the inevitable circle of life. The constant ups and downs of an earthly existence that no human could escape until their heart took its last beat. Tonight was to be a celebration of two very special “ups.” Not only was it their wedding anniversary, but they’d heard some exciting news from Christy’s doctor as well. They’d just finished toasting when Christy brought up another subject.
“He’s definitely a handful,” Anthony told Christy over dinner after he lightly tapped his glass against hers and set it down. The special news they were celebrating was that Christy’s doctor had confirmed the gender of their baby. It was a girl, and she would be arriving in approximately five months. They’d tried for years after Christian was born to have another child, and it wasn’t until Christy decided to finally give away all the baby furniture she’d saved from when the boys were little that she discovered the great news. It was almost as if her ovaries removed a roadblock that had been set up to keep Anthony’s sperm at bay.
“A handful?” Christy asked as she sipped her water and then set it down. She was not quite four months pregnant and still battling nausea. Water was the only liquid she could drink that didn’t upset her stomach. “He’s more than a handful, Anthony. He’s a chaos machine.”
“He’s mischievous,” Anthony corrected. “You compare him to Slade, and that’s not fair, Owani.”
Her eyes flashed. “I don’t compare him to Slade.” She paused and then added, “But if I do, it’s because I worry about Christian and it’s hard not to see how completely different they are. Slade is serious and studious. You know he’s only thirteen and is already thinking about going into law.”
“He wants to be a defense attorney like my sister,” Anthony boasted.
“Not anymore,” Christy told him. “He changed his mind. I guess he didn’t tell you that now he wants to go after the bad guys. He wants to be a prosecutor.”
Anthony threw back his head and laughed. Christy glanced around the fancy restaurant and shushed him. “It’s not funny, Anthony. Your son wants to put people like you in jail.”
“Good. Let him. It doesn’t change a thing, and he’ll make me proud no matter what he decides to do.”
“I can’t help but think about how horrible things were for Kit when Grizz was arrested ten years ago.”
“She hasn’t gone by the name Kit in a long time,” Anthony corrected. “I want to wash my hands before dinner comes, Owani. I’ll be back in a few minutes, and we’ll talk more about Christian or Slade. Or Kit. Or our daughter. Whatever you want.” He stood and kissed the top of her head as he passed her on his way to the restroom.
It gave Christy time to think about all that had transpired for their friends in the ten years since Grizz’s arrest. Anthony was right. Kit no longer went by the gang name Grizz had given her. She was now known as Ginny and seemed to be flourishing and happy in her marriage to Tommy Dillon.
After his arrest, Grizz insisted that Ginny and Tommy marry. He knew he couldn’t promise Ginny and his unborn child a future and he wanted them both looked after. So, at his urging, Ginny unwillingly married Tommy, but in the beginning, had a difficult time letting go of her love for Grizz. Especially after giving birth to Grizz’s daughter, Mimi.
Christy couldn’t blame her. Mimi was a little younger than Christian, and Christy’s heart ached for the beautiful ten-year-old girl who would never know her biological father. Not because Tommy wasn’t a good father to Mimi, but because Christy knew that despite Grizz’s sordid past, Mimi had been conceived in love. After Grizz’s arrest in 1985, people tried to pass off Ginny’s love for Grizz as nothing more than a result of Stockholm syndrome. But Christy knew better.
The years passed, and Tommy, who had always been deeply in love with Ginny, raised Mimi as his own, and he and Ginny eventually had a son together. Jason was now five years old, and Ginny and Tommy’s marriage was a good and happy one despite the future event that hung over them. Grizz had been sentenced to die and now sat on death row. He continued to avoid the electric chair through appeals and other legal ministrations, but they all knew he wouldn’t be able to stave off the inevitable forever.
Anthony’s return to the table interrupted her thoughts, and she was grateful. She went on to fill him in on Christian’s latest antics and complained how punishing him hadn't helped.
“So, does his interest in motorcycles bother you or do you think it’s the bikes that will lead him into a life of crime?”
“You know I never judged you, Anthony, so I would never judge our children either. But we both know that’s not the life either one of us would want for our boys. Having said that, I know that it’s impossible to control someone else’s destiny or future.” She absentmindedly fiddled with the salt shaker. “If it ever came to that and one of our children did find himself on the opposite side of the law, I’d want it to be Slade.”
He was slightly shocked by her revelation. He leaned back in his chair and motioned for her to continue.
“Slade is so level-headed and even-keeled. He would make smart decisions and keep himself off the radar. It’s already obvious at ten years old that Christian doesn’t have that same ability. He seems angry all the time and has a quick temper. And it’s not because he’s being bullied for being different like when he was younger.” There had been a time when Christian was singled out because he was the darkest child in his class.
Christy placed her elbows on the table and leaned toward Anthony. Exasperated, she said, “He’s always getting into fights at school, being disrespectful to the teachers and it’s not his interest in riding motorcycles that bothers me. It’s his interest in stealing them.” She blinked at Anthony, and quickly glanced around the restaurant before returning her attention to her husband. “He’s only ten!”
Anthony nodded in agreement. “You’re right, Christy. And he’s not stealing because he needs the money.”
“Then what is it?” she asked. She couldn’t mask her frustration. “It’s not like you taught him to steal, like your father taught you. You’ve gone above and beyond to keep both boys away from anything criminal. When you take them to work, it’s to the landscape office. You don’t think they know about all the other stuff, do you?” she asked.
“I don’t think so, but kids talk. I would expect them to come to me if they’d heard something.” He paused and added, “Or maybe it’s time I had a talk with both of them.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about that, Anthony,” she admitted.
“You and I can discuss it later. In the meantime, I agree with you that he does have a temper. He doesn’t show it a lot in front of me, but I see it. I’ll see what I can do. Maybe I need to spend more time with him?”
“Anthony, you already spend time with both boys. You’re a good father. I guess he’s so different from Slade, I keep thinking I did something right with Slade and can’t seem to figure out what I’m doing wrong with Christian.” She blew out a frustrated breath and leaned back in her chair.
“You haven’t done anything wrong, Christy. You are the same loving mother to both boys. Just like you’ll be to our daughter. Some things in life can’t be controlled and I’m guessing the temperament our children are born with is one of them.”
She nodded her understanding and smiled across the table, marveling at how handsome he was. She was so happy he’d kept his hair long. She must’ve had a faraway look on her face because he interrupted her daydreaming.
“What are you thinking about, Christy?” he asked.
“It’s the pregnancy hormones, Anthony. I was worrying about Christian one second and the next second I was thinking about your long hair and I’m pretty sure I’m full-on horny now.”
Instead of heading home after dinner, they opted to check into a hotel for a
couple of hours.
Anthony lay flat on his back and enjoyed watching Christy’s face as she moved up and down, slowly at first and gaining speed as she sought her release. He massaged both of her breasts and gently pinched her nipples as she writhed in pleasure. They’d been together for seventeen years and he never once tired of watching the expression on her face when she came. It’s what typically sent him over the edge and if he didn’t come with her, he did shortly afterward. She now lay slumped on his chest, her breathing heavy and ragged.
She finally slid down next to him and laid a hand on his stomach. He grabbed it with his free hand and intertwined his fingers with hers.
“Have you given any thought to a name for the baby, Owani?”
“I have and I hope you’ll like it,” she told him, her breathing starting to return to normal.
“As long as it’s not Bobbi or Vivian, I’m pretty sure I can live with anything you suggest.”
“I was thinking I’d like to call her Daisy.”
“Daisy?” he asked. “Where did you come up with that?”
“It goes back to the story you told me after you met with Valerie all those years ago. Remember the conversation you had with her about a daisy being a poor man’s flower?” she asked. She felt his nod.
“Daisy is a good name, Christy. I like it,” he said.
She untangled her hand from his and tentatively tickled her way down his stomach.
“Again, Owani?” he asked, surprised.
“Yes, again, Anthony. You have a problem with that?”
“Never,” he told her.
Six Months Later
Anthony was escorted by an armed guard through the federal penitentiary where his friend Grizz sat on death row awaiting execution. He hadn’t been to visit Grizz since he made a special delivery to the prison several years ago. Not because he didn’t want to visit his old friend, but because Grizz wouldn’t allow it. After making that delivery, Anthony told Grizz he’d be back, to which Grizz replied, “Dead men don’t keep company with the living.”