In the kitchen, Patty stood by the window, her neck craned in the direction of the dead cow. I walked directly to the coffee pot without a word and fixed myself a cup. Patty turned to me, her face gray with fear.
“I keep thinking it’s going to be over. Each month the same thing. Now, it brings cattle up to the house! It just doesn’t make sense. Why would a hungry wolf drop its kill like that?” she said holding the neck of her flannel bathrobe.
“I have no idea. I don’t know anything about wolves.” I sipped my coffee and wondered if it would be possible to get a flight back to St. Louis today, or if I’d have to wait until tomorrow. Smooth, creamy coffee poured down my throat. Morgan walked through the door rubbing her eyes.
“You left me,” she whined.
“I just needed some coffee. Everything is fine.”
She trotted over and hugged me around the waist. Her new attachment to me was a far cry from her initial response yesterday. Maybe the psychic experience we shared made her trust me more. It made me trust myself less. I’d never been comfortable with that part of me. I’d only ever told Collin about it, and he made me feel like a freak. I patted Morgan’s back and let her cling to me. Warm coffee slid into my stomach, and I began to thaw off from my encounter with her father.
Patty moved to the island and began stirring batter in a yellow mixing bowl. She turned on the griddle and flicked droplets of water on the black cast iron. It sputtered and sizzled, and she covered it with a thin layer of cooking grease, before pouring batter from the bowl. Moments later, she flipped the golden-brown circles and the smell of pancakes filled the air.
The front door slammed, and footsteps echoed up the stairs. I assumed it was Mr. Ellis. I slid into the breakfast nook with Morgan still attached to me. Her bare arms felt cold under my hands. I peeled off my coat and put it around her shoulders as Patty placed a plate of pancakes in front of her. Morgan looked at the food blankly while Patty poured syrup over the small stack of cakes.
“I’m not hungry,” she said in a whining tone.
“Yes you are,” said Patty as she went back to the stove and poured more batter on the griddle. Morgan picked at her food with her fingers, and I looked out the window. I could see a party of about seven people mounting on horseback with shotguns sheathed on their saddles. Daisy led the party out of the corral toward the pasture, headed for the mountains. I wondered if any of them had seen the wolves last night. It had made such an awful noise. I couldn’t imagine they would be able to sleep through that racket.
“You’d think with all the hunters around here, they’d be able to shoot a few wolves,” I said, taking another sip of coffee.
“Don’t say that,” said Morgan.
Patty began, “Nathanial doesn’t…”
“Nathanial doesn’t what?” said Mr. Ellis standing in the doorway. He wore fresh clothes- a perfectly tailored black suit, a white shirt and a black tie. I could smell the subtle scent of cologne drifting over the scent of cooking pancakes.
“I was just explaining to Jane here, that you don’t allow wolf hunting on your land.”
“But that’s ridiculous…”
“Ms. Elder. You should keep your opinions on these matters to yourself.”
I let my mouth hang open and then closed it. How ludicrous and arrogant! How could he endanger the lives of everyone on this ranch, including the livestock, and then feel it unnecessary to explain his reasoning? Morgan whimpered next to me on the bench. It was all I could do not to stomp out of the kitchen, pack my things, and insist Joshua drive me right back to the airport. I restrained myself for the child’s sake.
“I’m traveling to the East Coast today. My flight leaves in five hours. I will be back in two days. During that time, Ms. Elder, please continue Morgan’s education. We will speak again when I return.”
“You’re leaving,” I said in a low, annoyed tone.
“I have business to attend to that requires my presence. I am often gone on business. Morgan is used to it, if that is your concern?”
I didn’t respond. The girl stared into the opposite wall, her face unreadable.
“Morgan, I’m almost done packing. I will be down to say good-bye in fifteen minutes.”
The girl didn’t respond as Mr. Ellis walked away. I put my arm around Morgan’s shoulder and rubbed her arm over the bulk of my coat. I could feel her shivering.
“It’s OK Morgan.”
She fell into my chest, embraced me, and began to sob. I stroked her hair and tried to calm her down, glancing over at Patty. Patty shrugged and went back to preparing the day’s meals. She pulled a box of lasagna noodles from the pantry and set them on the island next to a large empty pot. I loved lasagna! At least, I had that to look forward to.
“Let’s go get dressed, Morgan,” I said, scooting the little girl out of the breakfast nook. She hadn’t eaten much, and I hadn’t eaten anything, but I wanted to get out of there. I quickly filled my coffee cup again and led her upstairs.
We went into my bedroom, and I set my coffee cup on the vanity, looking down at the split logs next to my fireplace. I’d never built a fire before, but the room was cold. I thought it would add some cheer to our lives to be warm. I knelt down, lifted a piece of wood, and hefted it into the fireplace.
Morgan came and pushed me back. I stood and watched her build an intricate little tipi of splinters of wood and paper. She lit a match under the tipi, and the thing went up in flames. Carefully, she continued adding small pieces of wood. When they’d taken the flame, she hefted a few larger logs onto the fire. I hovered behind her in total awe. She stood and brushed off her hands, staring down at the fire.
“How did you learn to do that?”
“Mommy taught me.”
I wanted to know if it was before or after she’d passed away, but I decided not to ask. I sat in the armchair next to the fire and picked up my coffee cup. Morgan dropped out of my coat and climbed into my lap. We sat together in the warm glow of the fire, soaking in the comfort we could gain from each other, and the warmth of the room.
I let my eyelids get heavy. It was still so early. They blinked and slowly dropped closed. I held Morgan and my now empty coffee cup, dozing in the chair, when a loud bang came from the door. I woke with a start, nearly knocking Morgan off my lap and dropping the cup on the floor. I remembered where I was, and said, “Come in.”
Nathanial Ellis burst into the room, holding a briefcase. Morgan slid from my lap and ran to her father, throwing her arms around his bent neck. He hugged her tight and then gently pushed her clinging arms away as he stood.
“Daddy, don’t go.”
Mr. Ellis looked down at her, tension and pity in his eyes. He cleared his throat.
“Ms. Elder will look after you. I can see you are getting along now. That is excellent. I will only be gone a few days. During that time, study hard. You have a lot of catching up to do.”
He patted her head and turned out the door. Morgan looked down at the floor, studying her bare feet. She lifted her arms to hug herself, her whole form deflated and sulky.
“Come here Morgan,” I said, holding out my arms. She trotted back and jumped in my lap. I spread a throw blanket over us, and we cuddled in the warmth of my bedroom. I felt a surge of protectiveness for this girl rising within me. I wouldn’t let anything happen to her.
Nathanial Ellis drove his silver Range Rover down the steep dirt road to the highway that headed south. This time it had to work. All his prior attempts had come to naught. The last shift had been the most disastrous yet.
Something about the girl, Jane, caused the creature inside him to bring her gifts. The disemboweled heifer had been an offering of his affection. An offering from the beast in him, that is. Jane Elder was a pretty girl, a little young and unsure of herself, but she had a gentle quality that contrasted with the fire inside her. It made her quite attractive.
Nathanial growled in remembrance of the girl’s hourglass figure and flowing red hair. He couldn’t allow
himself to be distracted by the help. Why had he brought her up here? Even though he knew the girl would be a distraction, and quite possibly dangerous, he had felt compelled to hire her. Now all he wanted to do was avoid her, avoid her soft hazel eyes and the curve of her generous bosom.
He shook his head, to try to make the thoughts disappear. There were more important things to attend to. The safety of his ranch, his daughter, and his staff depended on his clear-headedness.
The curse was upon him. He’d lived with it for over a year. In that time, he had never felt as exposed as he had under Jane Elder’s eyes this morning. Her reaction to the beast’s gift made part of him feel rejected. Why would he feel rejected? Obviously, a disemboweled cow was disgusting.
He drove down the narrow highway and took Highway 2 east until he came to the Kootenai National Forest. He took a rural road deep into the park. The day was still new, and he could see the swelling mountains full of evergreens rolling before him as he drove.
He turned off the paved highway onto a one-lane dirt road. He kicked his Range Rover into four-wheel drive as the incline increased. He felt ridiculous arriving in his Armani suit, but he’d felt the need to impress the girl. Now, he would be ridiculed by the people he needed most.
His wheels lumbered over a cattle grate, and he pulled into a gravel parking area. Before him, sprawled a collection of log cabins, mobile homes, tipis, and clapboard outbuildings.
A black-haired child looked up from a burned out log canoe and went running into one of the buildings. An old woman dressed in blue jeans, and a red flannel shirt approached him. Her long white braids fell down her sides. She pushed sunglasses up the bridge of her nose as she approached him.
She stood before him and smiled, showing a few missing teeth.
“What you got for me today, Nate?” she said, grinning. “You look like an idiot in those shoes.”
Her laughter pealed through the pines around the compound. A young man dressed in a T-shirt and cargo shorts approached behind her. His long brown hair hung loose around his shoulders. He frowned.
“I brought you some chocolate, Mona. It’s in the car. I didn’t have time to change.”
“You can change in the house if you want,” she said looking him up and down, “But first give me that chocolate.”
Nathanial leaned into the SUV and pulled several packages out of the passenger seat. He’d ordered her the finest Bavarian chocolate truffles money could buy. Mona had a sweet tooth. Her eternal friendship could be bought with good candy, and loyalty.
She took the boxes with wide eyes, cracking through the plastic wrap to open the box and dig out a gourmet chocolate.
“I don’t think chocolate is going to cut it friend. You know what this does to Granny,” said the young man.
“Don’t worry, Joseph. I brought more,” said Nathanial as he pulled his overnight bag from the back of his car.
They walked inside a singlewide mobile home. Mona sat in front of a satellite TV to eat her chocolates. She kicked back her recliner and began watching an episode of General Hospital.
Nathanial stepped into the bathroom that smelled of rosemary and analgesic cream. He stripped off the suit and dress shoes and pulled on a pair of jeans, a black T-shirt, and hiking boots.
He folded his suit into the bag and walked back into Mona’s comfortable living room. She had the singlewide mobile home to herself with a massive recliner, a big flat-screen TV, and a well-appointed kitchen. Much of which had been afforded by Nathanial.
Mona looked up at him, popping a chocolate in her mouth.
“You’ve outdone yourself this time,” she said, smiling.
“I thought you would like them.”
“I didn’t mean the chocolate. I meant the cow,” she said, laughing so loud, Joseph peered through the open front door. He looked at Nathanial, scowled, and went back outside. Nathanial could see the child running through the wide-open lawn that covered the center of the compound.
“You can see that already?”
“Yes. You like her,” Mona said, giggling like a child.
Nathanial looked at the floor, then back at the old woman.
“The beast seems to like her, for some reason."
“Liar. But I can see it bothers you. We'll save it for the sweat lodge. Come we need to prepare you. You’re a mess.”
She stood shakily and with some effort, but once she was on her feet she swiftly moved in front of him out the door. She called for Joseph to prepare the sweat lodge as she plodded across the compound.
Joseph looked up from his work on the canoe and glared at Nathanial. Joseph had never been a fan of Nathanial’s relationship with his grandmother. Even though Nathanial had practically saved the family’s land from foreclosure.
Nathanial had found Mona a year ago when the curse first fell upon him. Everything had been so chaotic after his first shift. His wife’s death was still heavy on his mind, but Nathanial knew what had happened to him. He had seen it before. He was determined to find a cure. He refused to take the easy way out.
He found Mona through the Internet, then phone calls, then word of mouth. She was one of the last shamans of her kind anywhere in the US, and she specialized in his kind of curse. Unfortunately, she had yet to successfully remove it. Each month, he believed it would work, but each month he shifted again.
Part of him was beginning to believe it was useless, but he had to keep trying. He had to keep trying for Morgan’s sake. She had no other family. If he left Morgan alone, she would end up with Patty and Joshua as her guardians. They were both good people, but he wanted more for his daughter than that.
Allowing the hunters to continue boarding on the ranch was a game of Russian roulette for Nathanial. If he were unable to find a cure, eventually some marksman would disobey his rules and take a shot at him while he terrorized the ranch in beast form. The shot last night had made the threat abundantly clear.
He followed Mona into a low-ceilinged hut made of bent branches, covered in animal pelts. At the center of the hut was a small hole in the ground for the hot stones.
Mona sat near a low table full of her tools. She muttered some words over the items in front of her. She lifted a sage wand and lit it. Nathanial sat cross-legged on a buckskin on the dirt floor and waited.
He glanced through the open door-flap to see Joseph building a massive structure of logs for the fire. He grumbled as he built the structure.
Nathanial closed his eyes and said a silent prayer to whatever god or gods might listen. What had he done to deserve this curse? He had been a good husband and a good father. What had he done to deserve losing her?
Mona walked over to him and began chanting in Kutenai, the native language of her people. Heavy sage smoke wafted around him, filling his nostrils with the dense musty odor. He closed his eyes and listened to the lilting sound of the woman’s words. The foreign syllables put him into a light trance.
“Take off your shirt,” he heard her say through the heaviness of his trance. He obeyed without speaking or opening his eyes. He felt the wet, sting of wild bergamot, slapping his bare chest and back. He smelled the scent of oregano and citrus as the herbs flailed his flesh.
He listened to her chant, inhaling the sage smoke she wafted over him as the bergamot fell down on his skin. His eyes fluttered under their lids, and he was deep in trance.
He saw a scene of himself running wild through the chill night. The beast’s breath panted a hot cloud into the wind. The scent of the lazy bovines called him into the open pasture. He easily hopped a fence and pounced on the waiting, slow creature. His teeth sunk deep into its neck. He could taste the flavor of its blood pulsing into his mouth as it fought him.
The creature ceased to move and fell silent under the pale, full moon. He dragged its body to her, the one he’d been waiting for. The beast could smell her, even in the house beyond the still lake. She could give him all he had longed for. She could fulfill the beast within him, as the hunt never had. He could b
e whole again.
Mona’s snapping fingers brought him back to awareness. He blinked his eyes open and stared at her. Outside the door-flap, it was dark. The moon light glowed down over the compound, and the flickering flames of the pyre burned hot in the darkness.
Joseph brought the hot coals into the room in a bucket and dumped them into the central pit. He closed the flap behind him, leaving Mona and Nathanial alone in the hot room.
Mona stood before him, her small form able to stand erect in the low-ceilinged hut. The light from a kerosene lamp glowed in the corner. She drew on his face with fresh deer blood while speaking in low tones. Her long crooked fingers traced lines over his forehead and cheekbones and down his chin.
He gazed at her, feeling as if he had ingested some kind of drug. The room tilted into blackness beyond the glow of the lamp light. Nathanial blinked trying to stay cognizant of the world around him. Mona began to draw over his muscled chest. Her voice and the pressure of her fingers against his skin became his only awareness.
Sweat seeped from his skin in the heat of the small enclosure. He swayed as Mona whispered to him. A sharp object slashed across the skin of his wrist and then the other. Blood poured from his veins, collecting in basins below him.
“We must bleed the wolf out of you; weaken its hold on you. Nathanial Ellis, Nathanial Ellis, Nathanial Ellis.” She pressed a hot iron rod into the center of his chest, right above his heart. The smell of singeing skin filled his nostrils. He felt no pain from his injuries. All was hot and numb, his mind a fog.
He closed his eyes, and Mona was gone. He sat in the sweat lodge alone as time stood still. He felt the beast inside him jerking, howling, trying to break free from the old woman’s healing. It cried out for fulfillment. It cried out for the girl. He held onto his name. He was Nathanial Ellis. He was Nathanial.