Collin grabbed his skateboard, glanced down at me, shame covering his face, and ran out the door. I pulled myself up and brushed my hair away from my face.
“Thanks Kimmy. I would have so regretted that.”
“No problem.”
“He’s just so cute,” I whined, falling back into the couch.
“You weren’t going to take him back were you?”
“No. Just fuck him a little bit,” I said making an inch between my index finger and thumb.
Kimmy made a disapproving noise, rolled her eyes, and sat down next to me. I sat up again, and my excitement over the job interview came back.
“I got a job! In Montana. Can you believe it?”
“When did that happen?”
“Today. I leave in two weeks.”
“Oh. So that’s why you were going to give it up to douchebag, cheating-scum Collin.”
“Kind of,” I said, smiling wide.
The week before I left, I decided to go shopping for outdoorsy stuff since I had nothing suitable for life on a ranch in Montana. My wardrobe consisted of breathable dresses, flip-flops, short-shorts, and tank tops— common wear for the scorching, humid St. Louis summers. To get through the St. Louis winters, I wore a wool pea coat from Urban Outfitters, soft sweaters, jeans, and trendy tennis shoes. I doubted any of that would cut it on the ranch.
Kimmy and I drove over to the REI in Brentwood Plaza, next to the Whole Foods, to buy ranch clothes. I didn’t know what ranchers wore, but I imagined it included a lot of flannel and boots.
We walked through the front door of REI to be met with concrete floors and bicycles. I was instantly lost. My closest association with outdoor activities was that time my housemate Mark drunkenly dared me to spend a night in a tent in the backyard. I made it half the night until the mosquitoes drove me inside.
A guy with a muscle strained blue T-shirt and a nametag that said Nick approached Kimmy and me. I smiled under his dark-brown eyes, and batted my eyelashes.
“Can I help you find anything,” he said clasping his hands together.
“I’m going to live on a ranch in Montana,” I said, nearly giggling.
“I see. So you’ll need clothes, shoes, that kind of thing?”
“Yeah,” I felt like an idiot.
“I’m going to go look at bikes,” said Kimmy, walking away. Kimmy was thin and cute in the way sexy guys, like Nick, wanted. She didn’t have to try to get their attention. She was usually beating them off with a stick, so she didn’t understand why I got so nervous and geeky around super hot guys like this one.
Nick took me upstairs to look at the selection of women’s clothing. Then he excused himself, telling me the staff up there would help me. I was relieved because I didn’t want him seeing me picking up size 16 clothes. Everything looked really outdoorsy. That was for sure. I picked up some cargo pants, thermals, and a couple of flannel shirts, and went to the dressing room.
I tried on a few outfits and looked at myself in the mirror. I was a bookish girl who spent her time indoors. I didn’t recognize the hiker chick staring back at me. I turned around in the mirror and inspected my ass in the cargo pants. At least, they made it look good.
After I’d picked out some outdoorsy clothes, I went to the shoe department asking for boots. The shoe guy gave me some options of lightweight hiking boots, after I explained I wouldn’t actually be doing ranch work on the ranch. I picked a cute pair and tried them on. They matched the rest of the outdoorsy look so it all pretty much worked together. I figured I could blend it into the rest of my wardrobe somehow.
Kimmy came back upstairs holding a water bottle and walked with me down to the checkout. When the total lit up on the screen, I was astonished. Three hundred dollars for camping clothes. Who would have thought? I gave the cashier my credit card and just kept repeating, “twenty thousand a year and no rent,” in my head.
Kimmy purchased her water bottle, and we walked over to Whole Foods for lunch. I got some chicken shish kabobs from the deli and a gourmet cream soda. Kimmy got sushi and cold green tea. We sat at the tables near the front windows and pulled out our lunch.
“Have you given any thought to what you might do if the trial doesn’t work out?”
“It will work out,” I said. I didn’t want to think about it not working. I’d had a two-hour argument with my mother the night before about how stupid it was for me to go at all.
“I’m all for acting on impulse, but I don’t want you to think you have to give up your room until you know for sure the job will pan out.”
“It will be fine. You guys need the rent, and I can’t afford to pay on the first. It isn’t fair to you guys to have to make up my share.”
“We’ve talked about it, and me and the guys are a little worried about you.”
“Why? Because big, dumb Jane can’t take care of herself?”
“God, no! Why would you even say that? I wish you wouldn’t talk about yourself like that. You’ve just been so… sheltered. This is a big step for you. None of us have ever seen you make such an impulsive decision before. We just want to make sure you’re safe.”
I sighed. She did have a point. Doing things like running off to Montana wasn’t in my usual behavioral framework. It was just time for me to get out of town. After Collin cheated, again, and months of searching for a job, I’d had it. I needed change. I needed to move, to get out there and live for once.
“I understand,” I said, sliding a piece of chicken off the skewer. “But really, I’ll be fine. If things don’t work out, I can always go crash at my mom’s, or find a new place, or go live on a beach in California. OK? Don’t worry about me so much.”
Kimmy drew one side of her lip back into her cheek. “Whatever you say. I just wanted you to know the offer was open. We have your back. After living together for four years, you aren’t some stranger who just owes us rent. If anything happens, don’t be afraid to come back.”
The week was a blur of work and packing. Mr. Ellis sent the plane ticket, just as he said. I’d have to leave behind most of my belongings, which I packed up and put in a cheap storage unit.
I had absolute faith that things would work out. I couldn’t have asked for a better opportunity. It meant freedom to me. Freedom to see the world and experience new things.
Collin tried to contact me a few times. I knew he had feelings for me. We had been together for two years on and off. However, I was beginning to believe he just saw me as a reliable lay. The more objective I got about it, the easier it was for me to see it clearly.
On my last day in the house, I slept on the couch. Kimmy drove me to the airport in the early fall heat and made me promise to come right back if anything freaky happened. After she helped me pull my boxes onto a baggage cart, I hugged her tight and said good-bye. I would miss her more than anything else in St. Louis. (Except maybe the fudge from Union Station.)
Kimmy waved from her car as she pulled out of the parking spot in front of the departures gate at St. Louis International Airport. I waved back and watched her drive out of sight. I stood with my hand on the baggage cart, feeling nervous for the first time. I was really doing it!
Chapter 3
I touched down in Missoula at six o’clock in the evening, Mountain Time. My heart fluttered in my chest, not knowing what to expect. A man name Joshua was supposed to pick me up and drive me up to Bear Creek Ranch. The early late summer tipped low on the horizon; the last golden fingers spread out over the mountains to the west.
It would be dark on my trek up into the mountains to the ranch with a strange cowboy I’d never met. My stomach contorted as if I was taking off on the plane again. I found my way to the luggage claim area, grabbed a baggage cart, and waited for my overstuffed U-haul boxes to pour down the chute.
Chill air blew in from outside, and I had to rummage through my carry on suitcase to find a sweater to pull over my bare shoulders. It had been eighty-five degrees when I left St. Louis, and I was wearing shorts, a short-s
leeve printed T-shirt, and flip-flops.
After I found my sweater and pulled it over my shoulders, I stared down at my pale toes and pale pink nail polish. What would this cowboy think of me? I felt a tap on my shoulder and snapped my head around. Nerves pricked all over my body.
“Ain’t you a jumpy one,” said the tall fifty something cowboy with a graying mustache. He wore a straw cowboy hat, faded denim jeans and a matching jacket. A massive belt buckle gleamed from his waist.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Sorry, ma’am. Didn’t mean to frighten you. I’m Joshua Slew, from Bear Creek Ranch. You’re Miss Jane Elder, right? Came to pick you up.”
“Yes. How did you know?”
Joshua blushed and tipped his hat over his face, looking at the ground. Then he looked up at me, showing crooked teeth and a friendly smile. His eyes gleamed with mirth.
“Truth be told, Miss, Nate told me to look for a flatlander, college girl.”
“I see,” I said, already feeling annoyed and out of place.
“Don’t take it as an insult Miss Jane. I shouldn’t have said that. We sure are happy to have you to look after Miss Morgan. She’s quite the handful.”
I turned back to the luggage carousel and spotted my boxes coming toward me. I went to grab them from the conveyor belt and Joshua quickly helped me put them on my cart. He didn’t try to keep me from lifting them, and he didn’t make me do it myself.
As we walked out of the building, he offered to push the cart to the car. Outside the air was dry and cold. I told myself, I should have checked the weather report as I hugged my body to keep myself warm.
Joshua led me to a 1980’s orange Chevy pickup and hefted my heavy boxes into the back. He climbed in the driver’s seat and leaned over to unlock the passenger door by hand. I climbed inside. We pulled out of the parking lot, and Joshua turned on the heater.
We drove out onto Interstate 200 that led out of the small city of Missoula, headed northwest. Even under the dim light from the headlights, the velvety sky was covered in millions of bright stars. I leaned my head forward to gaze out the front window. I’d never seen stars so bright.
A huge moon loomed above that cast blue light all around. It sparkled down on the highway, illuminating the rural landscape. I smiled at the simple beauty and sat back in my seat.
“Gonna be a full moon tomorrow night.”
“Yes.”
“Surprised Nate brought you up the day before.”
“Why?”
Joshua took a sharp intake of breath and stared out at the road. “Miss Morgan sure does need a school teacher. Nobody’s got the time to drive her twenty miles to school each day.”
“What about the moon?”
He looked over at me for a second, his face grave. “Some wolves down from Canada have been coming around for livestock during the full moon for the last year or so. Can get pretty ugly.”
“Oh! Is it safe?”
“Well ma’am, that all depends.”
My heart sank. Was he telling me that Bear Creek Ranch was besieged by wolves? My face dropped, and I gasped. Joshua let out a whooping laugh and smacked the searing wheel.
“What?” I demanded.
“You should see the look on your face.”
I was getting tired of his teasing. If this was the way I would be treated under Nathanial Ellis’ employment, I might as well be on the next plane back to St. Louis.
“Well, is it safe or not!”
“If’n you’s a calf, it might not be so safe.”
I rolled my eyes and sank back into my seat. We turned off the interstate and pulled onto a narrow highway that led up into the thickly forested mountains. Joshua drove along wordlessly humming to the sound of music in his head. I sat in my seat trying to stay warm. I nodded off for a while and woke to find we were on a dirt road.
The dirt road went on for ages, crushed in on both sides by dense evergreen and aspen forest. Above, the blue moon cast the forest in a cool glow.
A sign rose above the road, held up by two smoothly hewn and polished logs. The dark-brown words “Bear Creek Ranch” appeared to be burned directly into the pale yellow timber, and an image of a grizzly bear ran underneath them. I knew it was a grizzly by the hump on its back. I’d learned about them at the St. Louis Zoo.
“Are there grizzly bears around here?” I asked, hoping for an honest answer.
“Not always,” he said as we bumped over a cattle grate.
We drove the last mile and came to a large parking area in front of a huge Victorian style mansion. I had expected a modern, log ranch-house. This place looked straight out of a Gothic novel.
We parked. I hopped out of the truck, gazing at the mansion, my mouth hanging slightly open. Between the gravel parking area and the house, sprawled an extensive flower garden. The lights from the house glowed down on the gravel path that led to a wraparound porch dripping with flower boxes.
Joshua pulled my things out of the back of the truck while I gawked at the house. A pointed turret jutted up from the middle of the roof rising above a series of dormers that surrounded it. The dormer windows looked out from all sides of the house, most of them glowing with warm tungsten light. The windows in the central turret remained black.
The front door swung open, and a man walked toward me. He was followed by a little girl in a flowing white nightgown and bare feet. In the distance, I heard a howl and I shivered.
The man approached me. I could see his broad shoulders and glossy black hair as the light of the moon illuminated his back. When he came closer, I could see his chiseled chin, high cheekbones, and dark eyes. He was immaculately groomed and impeccably dressed in what seemed to be high end designer clothing. He reached out to shake my hand while the little-girl clung to his leg. When we touched, a surge of electricity pumped through my veins. I wanted to let go, but he continued to grip me in his strong, smooth hands.
“I’ll just take these upstairs,” said Joshua.
“I’m Nathanial Ellis, Ms. Elder. I am pleased you have come. This is my daughter, Morgan,” he said looking down at the girl. He released my hand and put it on his daughter’s tangled black hair. “Morgan, say hello to Ms. Elder. She will be your new teacher.”
Morgan’s pale face sank into her father’s side, and she peeked up at me through thick, black lashes. She didn’t speak. I bent down to her height and smiled brightly at her.
“We’re going to have loads of fun, Morgan. I’m so happy to meet you.”
“You aren’t my mother!” the little girl screamed before she tore back to the house.
I was taken aback. I hadn’t expected that kind of reaction. Mr. Ellis hadn’t said anything about the child having emotional issues. She had lost her mother a year ago, but her reaction seemed extreme and out of context.
“I’m sorry,” said Mr. Ellis, backing up, “She’s been through a great deal. I’m afraid the child spends too much time alone. Please, come inside, you must be freezing.”
I shivered, holding my hands tight to my upper arms, and followed him inside. The front entrance was as magnificent as the exterior. I was met by an ornately carved wooden staircase that led to the upper levels and dark wood floors polished to a high sheen. To my right, a doorway led into what looked like a formal parlor with a roaring fire in a brick fireplace. Mr. Ellis directed me to the parlor while Joshua walked through the front door and up the stairs with my second box.
I walked into the parlor. The room was furnished in delicate Victorian antiques, and the walls were painted a pale yellow. A floral upholstered couch sat by the fireplace, and Mr. Ellis directed me to have a seat. He went to a sideboard filled with decanters and etched glasses, and poured himself a glass of scotch over ice then turned his face to me.
“Would you like a drink?”
“I’d love one.”
He sprayed soda over ice cubes, poured two shots of scotch in the glass, and handed it to me. I sipped slowly and let the warmth of the liquor stream down my thr
oat, warming my chest and stomach. I sat back in the couch and stopped shivering.
“This was my wife’s favorite room,” he said, sitting in an overstuffed chair across from me. “You can’t see it now that it’s dark, but this window looks out on the garden.”
“Oh, that sounds nice.” I didn’t know why he was telling me about his wife, other than to try to explain the feminine decor. I took another sip of my scotch and soda and waited. I was already feeling uncomfortable. The episode with the child had left me shaken, and I honestly didn’t know if I was qualified to address serious emotional issues. My hand itched to reach for my cellphone to call Kimmy to tell her I’d be on the next flight back to St. Louis. On top of that, my new boss was making me feel tingly in my private places.
“Morgan has been distant since her mother passed away. Part of her is missing; you see. She needs more than education.”
I cleared my throat. “While my education qualifies me to address a number of developmental issues in children, I am not a child psychologist. You must understand that, Mr. Ellis.”
“I understand, Ms. Elder. I didn’t hire you because I thought you were a psychologist. I believe your skill set is what my Morgan needs. From the way you wrote your letter, I assumed you were capable of helping her. Was I wrong?”
His words stung, and my face flushed. I put my glass down on the table a little too heavily, and it made a loud clunk. I stood and walked to the fire to soak up the heat while I decided how to respond. My legs were covered in goose bumps, and my mostly bare feet seemed to be turning purple.
“We agreed on a two-week trial, Mr. Ellis. Let’s just see how things go. The child is confused. We will give her time. As for tonight, I’d like to see my room and get some much-needed rest.”
“Of course, Joshua will show you.”
I turned and found the cowboy standing in the doorway. He looked so out of place in the feminine Victorian sitting room. I had to blink a few times. Maybe it was the excitement and the few sips of scotch, but everything seemed surreal. I needed sleep.