“Should I text her? Make sure she’s okay?” I’m starting to sweat, and I’m feeling sort of dizzy.
I can’t stand the thought of not being with Eden right now.
“Nah, she knows where you’re at. Don’t even bother. Text her tomorrow. She’ll understand.”
Yeah, no. This doesn’t feel right. I can’t let Abraham rescue her. That’s my job. “I’m picking her up,” I say, my voice firm.
“Are you sure?”
I’ve never been more sure in my life. “Yeah, I want to. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of Eden.” I try to ignore the warm feeling that washes over me at saying those words, but it’s difficult. I want to take care of Eden.
I end the call with Abraham and then I go in search of the text from Eden. I find it in Snapchat. She sent it to me about an hour ago.
Hey, are you busy?
I hesitate for only a moment before I send her one back.
Are you okay? I talked to Abraham.
She answers almost immediately.
It’s been a rough night, but I’ll survive. A’s coming to get me.
I can’t believe what Cole told you.
He’s a cheating douche.
Yeah he is.
He ruined my dinner. I’m starving.
I chuckle to myself. She doesn’t sound too broken up over this.
I’ll pick you up. And if you’re lucky, I’ll bring you some food.
Wait. Aren’t you on your date with Whitney?
Yeah. Whitney. I lift my head and stare at the house once again, see the flickering light from the TV illuminate the interior. I should go back inside and sit next to Whitney. Pull her into my arms and let her snuggle in close, let her pretend that she’s scared of what’s playing out on the screen so she can bury her face against my chest. It’s what I’d normally be down for.
Tonight, it’s not.
And I need to answer Eden. Truthfully.
Yeah, I am. But I don’t wanna be here.
:( Why not?
Maybe I’ll explain it to you when I come get you.
Josh you don’t need to do that.
But I want to.
I really want to.
Then come to the bowling alley and pick me up.
Okay I will.
Chapter Thirteen
Eden
It’s late, past ten when Josh and I walk into the house. My parents went to bed a while ago, supposedly exhausted over setting up the artificial Christmas tree earlier this afternoon that’s now sitting in front of the window facing the street. It’s lit up but not decorated yet. We’re saving those fun times for tomorrow.
I lock the front door as Josh heads toward the kitchen carrying an In-N-Out bag in each hand. Leaning against the door for a moment, I think of our drive from the bowling alley. Not many words were said. I watched him pull up in front of the building, and I went to his truck, thankful that he showed up so quickly. He didn’t mention Cole, and I didn’t mention Whitney. There wasn’t much said at all, but it didn’t feel awkward.
Funny thing is, it never feels awkward with Josh.
Pushing away from the door, I follow after him, stopping in the doorway as he moves about my kitchen with the ease of someone who’s been here countless times before.
And he has. He’s spent a lot of time in this house over the years. On the way home, I texted Mom to let her know Josh was coming over, and she acted like it was no big deal. Mom just warned me not to stay up too late with Josh and that was that.
If they only knew my weird thoughts about Josh lately, they might reconsider their feelings about him coming over so late.
“Want a plate?” Josh asks, pushing me out of my thoughts.
I nod and go to the cabinet to get them for us, opening a door to grab a couple of paper plates. Josh goes to the fridge and grabs a bottle of ketchup and two Cokes, and then we’re sitting at the kitchen counter, Josh divvying up the food and me biting into that cheeseburger like I haven’t eaten in years.
It tastes like heaven, even though it’s not as hot and fresh as I prefer it. Doesn’t matter. I can feel Josh watching me with what I’m sure is amusement, and I give him the finger before I shove a handful of fries into my mouth with the other hand. “So. Freaking. Good,” I say, my mouth full.
“You weren’t lying when you said you were hungry,” he says, his deep voice tinged with amusement.
“Cole ruined everything. I love pasta.” I hold up my cheeseburger. “But I love In-N-Out, too, so you did good.”
We continue to eat in companionable silence, neither one of us bringing up what happened tonight. Still nothing mentioned about Cole, nothing mentioned about Whitney. I’m curious, yet I don’t want to know. He doesn’t look any different, though I suspect when he eventually does have sex with someone, it’s not like he’s going to walk around with a sign around his neck proclaiming I DID IT in big, bold letters.
I sort of wish he did, just so, you know, I’d realize when it happened. But do I want to know? Or is it easier to be oblivious?
“If he hadn’t told you what happened with uh—the cheating thing, would you have reconsidered going out with him?” Josh asks after he finishes his Double-Double.
I study him, my gaze meeting his. Did he know about the cheating thing with Whitney? Ugh. I barely know the girl and thought she was sweet, and now all I want to do is barf every time I hear her stupid name. “I wouldn’t have reconsidered our relationship. It didn’t feel right, being with Cole tonight. Something was off.”
Josh nods, like he understands. “It felt off with Whit, too.”
Wait. What? “What do you mean?”
He shoves a bunch of fries in his mouth, chews fast, and swallows. “I went over there fully prepared to—you know—and from the moment I arrived, it felt weird. Like I didn’t belong there. I wasn’t interested, and she’s hot, Eden. She has a badass house, and she had on some sexy scary movie with topless teenage vampires sinking their teeth into their boyfriends right in the middle of sex. She was totally setting the scene, and I just wasn’t feeling it. At all.”
I hate hearing him describe Whitney as hot. Worse, I hate the doubt creeping into my mind. If Abraham knew about Cole cheating on me with Whit, then maybe Josh knew, too. Does that mean he kept it from me? I understand Abraham doing that, but not Josh. Never Josh. “Did you know?” I ask, my voice quiet. “About Cole and Whit?”
With a sigh, Josh drops the fries he just picked up. “Abraham told me about it a few hours ago.”
The relief that washes over me is strong. “Abraham told me Cole confessed to him last week.”
“I guess it’s been bothering Cole a lot lately.”
“Guess so. Only took him what? Like nine months to finally confess?” I’m so irritated by the entire situation. What did I ever see in Cole anyway? “So you didn’t know until today.”
“Like literally only a couple of hours ago, tops. I had no idea Cole did that to you. If I had, I would’ve kicked his ass.”
I 100 percent believe him. That’s Josh, always bailing me out. “I know. And I appreciate that.”
Josh smiles at me and ducks his head.
“What about Whitney? Why didn’t that happen?” I ask.
“Felt too forced. I kept thinking about what you said. How it should happen naturally. How it should be with someone special.” He’s still not looking at me, and it’s the fact that he can’t look me in the eye that’s making me nervous. “I thought I wanted a casual hookup, but I don’t even know that girl, and I was going to have sex with her.”
His words make me so happy, yet I have to act like they’re not affecting me at all. “So you couldn’t go through with it.”
“No, I couldn’t.” He shakes his head and finally lifts his gaze to mine. “I told her I had to go help a friend out, that it was an emergency, and she said she understood. She’s nice.”
I make a face. Right, she’s so nice she’ll have sex with my now ex-boyfriend and then keep it a sec
ret. Whatever.
“But she’s not you, Eden,” Josh adds, his voice so low I almost don’t hear him.
We stare at each other, my stomach doing dips and loops, my breath coming a little faster. What does he mean by that? Am I reading too much into his words?
“I hope I didn’t ruin everything with you having to run to my rescue yet again,” I say, trying to lighten the mood.
But that serious expression remains on his face as he continues to watch me. “I’d run to your rescue any time you asked, no matter what.”
Oh. I don’t know what to say, don’t know what to do, don’t know how to react. I just stare at him, blindly reaching for my Coke, and take a long, noisy sip out of the straw. The air seems to shift between us, crackling with a charged energy I’ve never felt before, and I leap to my feet, gathering the empty wrappers scattered all over the counter and shoving them back into the bag.
“I’m going to throw this away,” I tell him, heading for the garbage can on the opposite end of the kitchen.
He doesn’t answer and that’s fine. I’m too focused on trying to even out my stuttering breaths, calm my racing heart. Once I dispose of the trash, I go to the sink and wash my hands, my skin prickling with awareness when he does the same, joining me by the sink. He pushes up the sleeves of his shirt, adds a couple of pumps of foamy soap into his palms, and starts washing them. When he dunks his hands under the water, they brush against mine, sending tingles of awareness shooting straight up my arms. I suck in a breath, wondering since when did washing hands become such an intimate act.
Clearly I’m overreacting.
“Do you need to head home?” I ask once we’ve dried our hands, and now we’re left staring at each other in the middle of the kitchen.
He shrugs those broad shoulders, and my gaze roams over his chest, that black shirt he’s wearing. He looks good tonight. Clearly, he dressed up for his so-called date with Whitney. Yet somehow he ended up with me.
And that shouldn’t give me even a glint of satisfaction, but it does. It so does. I love that he’s not with her, and that he’s with me.
Only me.
“I can stay a while longer if you don’t mind,” he says with an easy smile.
“Yeah, you should. Let’s go watch some TV.” I head for the living room, and Josh falls into step directly behind me, so close I can feel the warmth from his body, the light scent of his woodsy cologne. I go sit on the couch, and he joins me, sitting right next to me when usually he’s kicked back in my dad’s recliner on late nights when we do this sort of thing and my parents are already in bed.
I keep my gaze fixed on the TV as I lean forward to grab the remote and start searching the guide for something to watch. Josh is so close our thighs are pressed together, and I glance over my shoulder to find him already studying me. “Anything in particular you want to watch?”
“No.” He reaches for my hand. “Come here.”
I let him take it. He removes the remote and sets it somewhere else, I don’t know where and I don’t really care. The TV is stuck on some lame channel with an infomercial playing, the volume turned down so low I can’t even hear what they’re saying. The Christmas tree glows with multicolored lights that gently flash, illuminating the room, and when I stare up at Josh, the lights cast shadows across his handsome face.
He slides his fingers through mine, our palms pressed together, and I swallow hard when he squeezes my fingers. Our linked hands feel so good together, so right. My heart starts to thump extra hard. “Eden.”
All he says is my name, and I want to say something back, but it’s like I can’t speak.
“Edes.” Josh smiles, and he looks so nervous. So incredibly nervous and adorable, too. “I want to tell you something.”
I swallow again, my throat dry, my thoughts going haywire. I want to hear what he has to say, but I’m also scared. This is a huge moment that could change everything. Either make our relationship great or ruin it completely. “Wh-what is it?”
With his free hand he touches my face, drifts the back of his hand across my cheek. Tingles spread across my skin, and I feel like I can’t breathe. “When I was at Whitney’s, all I could think about was you.”
I frown, hating that he went to her house, but there’s nothing I can do to change that. “What do you mean?”
“I was fully intent on going over there to have sex with Whitney, yet all I could think about was you. I didn’t want to be with her. I wanted to be with you, Edes.” He cups the side of my face, his fingers gentle against my skin, and then he’s leaning in, his mouth landing on mine tentatively just as I close my eyes. His kiss is a question, his lips gentle as they test mine, and before the kiss has even started, he’s already pulling away.
“If you want me to stop, I’ll stop.” His voice is firm, and I crack open my eyes to find him watching me. He looks just as dazed and confused as I feel, and I know he means what he says. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship Edes, but I’m willing to…”
I don’t want to hear his excuses. Instead I cut off whatever he was going to say with my lips.
…
Josh
Holy shit. Holy. Shit. Eden is kissing me. Kissing me. And I’m kissing her back. I cup her nape, my fingers tangling in her soft hair as I tilt her head to the side and deepen the kiss. Her lips part, and I touch my tongue to hers.
And that’s all it takes. The kiss instantly goes wild, Eden wrapping her arms around my neck, me slipping my other arm around her waist. I haul her into me, until she’s sprawled across my body, and we kiss like this for what feels like minutes. Hours.
Days.
She fits perfectly in my arms. The sounds she makes, the way she tastes, how she touches me, it’s like everything I’ve been searching for but never found.
I’ve found it now. I’ve found it with Eden.
After long, lips-and-tongue-filled minutes, I break away from her first to catch my breath, kissing a path down her neck, smiling when I feel her shiver. I slip my fingers beneath the hem of her long-sleeve T-shirt, touch the bare skin at her waist, and there’s another shiver. This one accompanied by a whimper.
“Josh,” she whispers, and I open my eyes, lifting away from her delicious neck. She’s watching me with slumberous eyes, the lights from the Christmas tree flashing across her pretty face. “What are we doing?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper back. “But let’s not think too hard about it tonight, okay?”
Eden nods, her lips parting, her tongue sneaking out to streak across her upper lip. I groan and press my mouth to hers once more, capturing her lower lip with mine and giving it a tug. She makes this tiny whimpering sound that’s like a shot of electricity throughout my entire body, and now I’m going on pure instinct. Pure want. I wrap both arms around her tiny waist and haul her in as close as I can, her legs going around my hips, her hands diving into my hair. One hand slides down, along the side of my neck, down the front of my shirt and then—holy shit—she’s unbuttoning my shirt. One button. Then the next, and the next…
A different type of light flashes through the room, and then Eden’s pushing away from me, climbing off my lap. I open my eyes once more to find her standing in front of the couch, tugging at the hem of her shirt down, then reaching up to smooth out her messy hair.
“My brother’s home,” she whispers frantically. “Go sit in my dad’s recliner!”
I do as she tells me, throwing myself into her dad’s chair and pulling the handle so it reclines.
“Oh my God, fix your hair,” Eden says before she stretches out on the couch and tugs a blanket over her. “Looks like my hands were in it.”
“Your hands were in it.” Felt damn good, too. Everything she did felt good. And now Travis is totally interrupting us and ruining everything.
For once, I’m sort of hating on him, and I never hate on Travis. That’s always Eden’s job.
A key sounds in the front door as he undoes the lock, and then Travis pushes the door ope
n, closing it behind him with a quiet click. He turns and his eyes go wide when he spots us sitting in the living room, our gazes focused on the TV.
“Oh, hey.” He shoves his hands in his front pockets, rocking back on his heels. “What are you two up to?”
“More like what are you up to?” I throw back at him, taking the spotlight off us.
“Where have you been?” Eden asks, sounding like the stern older sister, though I swear there’s a quiver in her voice, too. Our gazes meet. Linger. She looks away first, and her cheeks go pink.
I carefully touch the corner of my mouth. I feel marked, like Eden’s hands are still all over me, her mouth fused with mine. My lips are swollen, and they tingle, and I swear I can taste her…
“I went to the movies with Isabella.” Travis tilts his head to the side, his gaze on me, going to Eden, then coming back to me again. “What are you two doing?”
“Watching TV,” I say, thankful Eden grabs the remote from where I discarded it earlier on the couch.
Travis looks over at the flat screen. “Infomercials?”
Eden immediately starts changing the channel. “We were looking for a movie,” she says.
“With no volume on?” Travis’s eyebrows shoot up.
I remain quiet, and Eden hits the volume button until we can finally hear the TV. “We were—talking,” she says.
“Uh huh.” Travis sounds doubtful. “Well, don’t let me disturb your talk. I’ll see you guys later.” He starts to leave the living room. “And hey Josh, your shirt is unbuttoned,” he adds as he walks down the hallway toward his bedroom.
Damn it. I immediately glance down and grab at the front of my shirt, doing up the buttons that Eden undid a few minutes ago. “Jackass,” I mutter.
“Finally you’re on my side,” she says, tossing a throw pillow at me. It glances off the side of my head, and I catch it before it drops to the ground, throwing it back at her. She dodges it just in time before it hits her, and the pillow smacks the wall, then lands on the ground.
“He totally knows what we were up to,” I say, hoping it doesn’t freak her out. I’m not freaked out. No, more like I feel lit up from the inside, which is the corniest shit ever.