I’m thankful for the change of subject. It feels weird to talk about Josh’s best friend liking me…his other best friend. That is all sorts of awkward, and while I’m flattered, I have never once imagined what it would be like to be with Abraham. We are complete opposites.
“Edes?” Josh’s questioning voice snaps me out of my thoughts.
“I did pick out a few girls.” Well. I sort of did. Meaning I picked two, but I really wanted to have three names for him. I decide to wing it, which probably isn’t the best approach when we’re talking about Josh’s future sex life, but whatever. Sometimes winging it leads to the right decision. “Are you ready?”
“Yeah.” He runs a hand through his hair again, then leans his head from side to side. “Shit, I’m nervous.”
“Aw, that’s cute.” I sit up and grab the list off my bedside table and clear my throat. “So…I think you should talk to Marin Herzig, Taylyr Howard, and…Whitney Gregory.”
Josh is silent for a handful of seconds, which makes me nervous.
“I asked you to take Whitney off the list.”
“Give her a shot. She’s sweet. I think you might like her.”
“Who the hell is Marin Herzig?”
“Go look her up on social media. She has an awesome IG account. Very artsy. She’s a great photographer.”
“I know Taylyr Howard.” He puts me on pause, and I know he’s going through his phone, probably on Instagram looking up Marin’s profile. “Marin’s cute.”
“She is. She’s really nice.” I don’t know this for sure, for sure, but I’ve heard she’s nice. And I adore her Instagram. I think I’ve liked every photo she’s ever posted. They’re always so artistic.
“Taylyr Howard is into every sport there is.”
“Right, and so are you, which means you two would be a great match.” His face reappears on my phone screen again, and I smile at him. “Go hit them up.”
He’s not smiling, though. He’s frowning. “You want me to go hit them up? Like how?”
“Josh.” I sigh and grab the phone so my face fills the screen. “Don’t play dumb. You know how to chat up a girl, flirt, whatever. You’ve had a lot of steady girlfriends over the years.”
“Yeah, so?”
“Well, now you’re acting like some sort of noob who has no idea what he’s doing. Get some confidence back and act like the stud that you are.”
“You think I’m a stud?” He sounds surprised, but I know what he’s doing. Fishing for compliments. How many times have we had this conversation?
Too many to mention.
“Yes, you’re a total stud with such big muscles and a great smile and all the ladies loooove youuuu.” I say it robotically, which makes him laugh.
Huh. He does have a nice laugh. But I won’t tell him that. It feels too…real to say it.
“I gotta go. Got some girls’ DMs I need to slide into,” he says, still laughing.
“Have fun. Keep me posted.” I’m about to end the call when he starts yelling.
“Edes, Edes, Edes, wait, wait, wait.”
“What?”
“Tomorrow. What time do you want to meet?”
“Oh.” I remember what Molly said about the frat party we’re going to crash tomorrow night. “Let’s go early.”
Josh winces. “How early is early?”
“I don’t know, around ten? Pick me up.”
“Okay. See you in the morning.” He ends the call before I do, and I lean back against my pile of pillows, staring up at the ceiling. Abraham really likes me? That’s sort of weird. And when did this happen? He’s never seemed into me before. Most of the time, I thought he found me annoying. Or he liked to give Josh and me endless crap about being friends. Like he seriously thought we were secretly banging or whatever.
Which is so not the case. Wouldn’t Abraham die if he knew I was helping Josh find a girl to bang? Though when you really thought about it, it’s kind of weird. Why am I trying so hard to help Josh find a girl to have sex with? Better that it’s someone else versus me, right? No way can we go through with that dumb sex pact we made when we were fourteen and lame.
But wait. I’m pushing girls on him, and that’s kind of weird. Does this mean I’m a pimp?
I grab my phone and send Josh a quick text.
Tell me I’m not a pimp.
He responds immediately.
You’re not a pimp.
But I feel like one. It’s kind of freaking me out.
Because of you helping me?
Yeah.
He goes silent for a moment, and I start to panic. This is messed up. What we’re doing. It’s dumb. It’s crazy. This is not sweet matchmaking. It’s me helping Josh find a girl to have sex with. Though I’m hoping he strikes up a serious relationship with his chosen one, which he most likely will since that’s how he operates.
What if these girls found out I had a hand in all of this? They’ll hate me for pimping them out, though that’s not my intention. That was never my intention.
Oh my gosh, I so shouldn’t have agreed to his insane plan. Did I ever really agree? It’s more like I fell into it. Maybe I need to fall right back out of it.
Josh finally answers.
You’re not a pimp. Think of it like that reality show The Bachelor. You’re the producer of the show, finding girls that could be the potential match for the Bachelor. And I’m the Bachelor.
I’m frowning so hard my forehead hurts.
How the hell do you know about The Bachelor?
Come on it’s been on for like a million years. Plus my mom watches it.
Oh. Okay.
I pause, staring at my phone. I like Josh’s idea. Yeah, I’m not a pimp. I’m like the girl in charge of The Bachelor. Instead of a rose, he’ll hand over his virgin status as the main prize.
The giggles threaten, and I press my face into the pillow. I’ve seriously lost my mind. And I blame Josh for it.
Chapter Five
Josh
I’m a hardcore fan of The Bachelor.
There. I said it. It’s my secret shame. No one knows about my love for The Bachelor. It’s true, my mother really does watch it. But we watch it together. It’s our weekly bonding moment. We bag on the crazy girls, we bag on the Bachelor or Bachelorette, we bag on everyone. We root for the ones we really like, and we enjoy the hell out of all the drama, especially the tell-all specials near the end of the season.
None of my friends know I’m a Bachelor fan. Not even Eden, and she’d probably give me the least amount of shit out of all of them.
Maybe.
I show up at Eden’s house about two minutes after ten, and the moment I put my truck into park, Eden’s practically running out the front door. She hops into my car so fast, I barely have time to process it.
“Hey.” She smiles at me, and I smile back, shifting the truck into drive. “I had to get out of there. Dad was lecturing us on the importance of keeping our bathroom clean.”
“That’s very important,” I tell her as I pull away from the curb. My voice is serious—I’m trying my best to copy her dad.
“Whatever. I’m not the bathroom slob. Travis is.” She grimaces. “He’s so gross.”
I don’t want to talk about Travis and the gross bathroom. I have better news to share. “So I talked to them.”
Eden frowns at me. “Talked to who?”
“To them. Last night. All three of them.” She’s still frowning, so I explain myself. “The girls. Taylyr, Marin, and Whit.”
“Wait a minute. You talked to all three of them?” She sounds incredulous.
“Well, yeah. Isn’t that what you told me to do?”
“I didn’t figure you’d go for it that fast. Though I should’ve known.” She’s slowly shaking her head. “How did it go?”
“It went pretty great. Right now I’m connecting the best with Whitney.” Weird, because she’s the one I was the least interested in, and it turns out talking to her is the easiest. She didn’t act suspicio
us when I slid into her DMs on Instagram last night. We followed each other on Snapchat immediately and talked for at least an hour about miscellaneous stuff, and she was very flirty. Plus, she sent me a cute photo of her that I wanted to screenshot so I could show Eden, but I didn’t want to look like a creeper so I didn’t.
Maybe I should stalk her Instagram and take a few screenshots. Though that’s weird. Eden would definitely tell me that’s weird.
“Whit, huh?” Eden shoves my shoulder, making me lean away from her. “I told you that you two would be a good match.”
“She’s a big flirt.”
“You like big flirts.”
True. “Marin had no idea who I was.”
“Aw, was the pretty boy’s ego crushed?” Eden singsongs in a weird baby voice. And did she really just call me pretty boy?
“Shut up.” I shake my head. “We talked for a little bit, but she was reluctant. I could tell.”
“Maybe she thinks you’re some freak trying to get in her pants.” Eden snaps her fingers like she’s had a realization. “Oh wait, you are some freak trying to get in her pants.”
“Yeah, and you’re the pimp helping me out. You have no room to talk.” I say that just to get under her skin.
And it works.
“Don’t call me a pimp. You’re going to give me a complex.” She starts chewing on her lower lip in that nervous way she does. “I’m a matchmaker, okay? That sounds a lot nicer.”
“You’re right. Matchmaker does sound nicer. And I agree, you’re not a pimp.” I reach over and squeeze her knee, checking her out from the corner of my eye. She’s wearing black leggings and an oversize sweatshirt, her hair swept up into a sloppy bun and not a lick of makeup on her face. I’d guess she got out of the shower not even fifteen minutes ago. Not that I expect her to dress up for me. Not at all.
It’s not like that between us.
“What about Taylyr?” she asks. When I send her a blank look—on purpose—she sighs irritably. “You know, the girl with the dumb spelled name.”
Right. Taylyr. “Dumb spelled name?”
“Who spells Taylyr with two y’s? It looks ridiculous. It should be T-a-y-l-o-r, don’t you think?”
Only Eden would pick on that, though she does have a point. “I guess.”
“Well, whatever. Do you like her?”
“We probably have the most in common, but I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know?”
“She’s kind of…”
“Scary?”
“Not exactly.”
“Intimidating?”
“Yeah. Intimidating. Forceful. Like, she was pushing for us to see each other over break almost immediately.”
Eden grins, and her blue eyes light up. She has really nice eyes. I’ve always noticed that about her. “But that’s great! It means she must like you, right?”
“She wants to get together so we can shoot some hoops.” I shrug. “I think she wants to kick my ass out on the court.”
Eden’s smile fades, and she points her finger at me. “Don’t be a jerk just because she plays sports. She’s really good.”
“Yeah, but what if she does kick my ass out on the court? That’s embarrassing.”
“Aw, poor baby Joshy, his ego is going to get bruised.” There she goes, talking in that weird baby voice again.
“Stop with the baby talk. It sucks,” I mutter.
“Whatever.” She laughs. “You’re being ridiculous.”
“Maybe I should stop talking to Marin since she doesn’t seem that in to it. In to me.”
“No, don’t stop talking to any of them yet. You need to keep this going at least for a little while.”
Seriously? “How long is a little while?”
“A couple of weeks, maybe?” She starts wiggling in her seat, which is normal for her. It’s like sometimes her energy can’t be contained. “Turn right at the next light. I want to go to that one store we like.”
I know exactly which store she’s talking about. “A couple of weeks is a long time to talk to three girls at once.” Talking to three different girls at the same time sort of makes me feel like a douche. Am I a douche?
“I think you can handle it,” Eden says with confidence.
“But maybe I’ve already made my choice.”
She sends me a look. “Joshua. You can’t move too fast. That’s your biggest problem, I think.”
“What is?”
“Your impatience. Once you set your mind on something, you’re ready to chase after it and make it happen immediately. Sometimes you need to slow down and really assess the situation,” she explains. “Like picking the right girl you want to have sex with.”
When she puts it like that, I get uncomfortable, which is stupid. But I can’t help it. This entire situation is crazy, yet Eden is the only one I can trust who’ll help me and not make fun of me beyond the occasional weird baby talk comment. I can handle that.
What I can’t handle is someone making me feel like an idiot because I haven’t gotten laid yet. Locker room talk makes me feel stupid because I feel like I can’t fully contribute. All this pressure to lose my virginity I’m putting on myself, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m handling it right. As in, I should just find a girl and do her, you know?
Yeah, those are the thoughts of a complete and total douche.
“Abraham texted me last night,” Eden says out of nowhere.
“What? He did?” I turn right at the light like Eden requested and pull into the shopping center parking lot. It’s packed, so I head toward the farthest end, not wanting to fight the traffic. “What did he say?”
“Nothing much. We made small talk. We also talked about you.” She sends me a knowing smile as I pull into an empty parking spot.
I cut off the engine to my truck and turn to face her. “What about me?”
“Oh, just how you’re such a great friend to us both.” Her voice has this mysterious tone to it, making me wonder if she’s hiding something.
“Really?” I wonder if she’s covering. Maybe they talked shit about me, I don’t know. Though I doubt it.
“Well, yeah.” She turns to look at me, her expression serious. “I don’t know what else to talk to Abraham about. So we naturally started talking about you. It’s the one thing we have in common.”
“You didn’t tell him about…” My voice drifts, and I swallow hard. I will lose it if she told Abraham about what we’re doing.
“Of course not! I promised you that was our secret, right?” She smiles sweetly, and the sharp pain that formed in my chest slowly eases. “Come on, let’s go to Wavelengths and pick out some clothes.”
She hops out of my truck, and I follow after her, my gaze skimming her from the top of her head to the black Nikes on her feet. I sort of forgot how great her butt is. And it’s like…really great, especially in those black leggings. They’re kind of thin. I swear if I squint I can see her underwear through them. Yeah, in fact I can see there’s writing across her backside.
“Edes.”
She glances at me over her shoulder. “Hmm?”
“Does your underwear say ‘Go elf yourself’ on the butt?” I am barely containing my laughter, and when her cheeks turn bright pink and she yanks her sweatshirt down so it’s covering her ass, I let loose.
I am laughing hysterically.
“You’re such an asshole,” she tells me as she starts increasing her speed. Like she wants to get away from me. “You and your stupid dirty laugh. I hate it.”
My dirty laugh? I didn’t know my laugh sounded dirty. I chase after her, and since she’s so short and doesn’t run very fast, I catch up with her easily. “Come on, I’m just teasing. You’re being too sensitive.”
“I forgot these leggings are so see-through.” She tugs on the sweatshirt hem again, her expression in full-on irritation mode. “I wonder if anyone else heard you say that.”
“There was no one around, I promise.” She’s still walking f
ast, and I grab her arm to stop her. “Come on, Edes. It’s funny. Your underwear says go elf yourself. That’s hilarious. Merry Christmas.”
She turns to face me, her eyes narrowed, her mouth a straight line. “It’s totally embarrassing, especially when you yell it as loud as possible.”
“I did not.”
Eden tries to jerk out of my hold. “You did.”
“Edes.” I’m grabbing both of her arms now, staring into her eyes. They really are pretty, even when she’s not wearing makeup. Though maybe she is? On her eyelashes? Mascara? Yeah, I think she’s wearing mascara. Why am I noticing this again? “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” I hate it when she’s mad at me. I really do.
Her expression softens, and the tension leaves her body. “Fine. It’s okay. I’m just feeling stupid, I guess. And confused.”
“Confused about what?”
“I don’t know. Everything that’s happening lately, especially with Abraham. I don’t get it.”
Abraham. I let go of Eden and take a step back. “Do you like him?”
“Not like that.” She shakes her head. “I’ve never even thought of him like that before.”
“Maybe you should give him a chance.” I can’t believe those words just came out of my mouth.
Do I really want Eden going out with Abraham? My best friend besides Eden? I don’t know.
I don’t think so.
But shit, why do I have a problem with it? Why would that bother me? I should be happy for them. My two best friends, together. If they got married, that would be awesome.
Yeah. No, it wouldn’t be awesome if they got together. I’d lose Eden. I know I would. And I can’t stand the thought.
“Oh my God, I can’t deal with this right now.” She waves a hand and starts walking once more. I fall into step beside her. “Forget Abraham. Let’s concentrate on the Joshua Evans makeover. You’ll have all three of those girls panting after you in no time, I promise.”
“All because you’re making me buy pants?” When she sends me a dirty look, I start laughing all over again.
…
Eden