He carried her into her bedroom and laid her out on her bed. Her hands turned greedy, tugging at his shirt as she lifted her mouth to his, kissing him again and again. Her soft fingers grazed his abs, his chest. Breathless, he pulled away long enough for her to tug the shirt over his head, then kissed her again, melting into her against the mattress, loving the taste of her, the feel of her, loving everything about her. “Raegan . . .”
She pushed a hand against his shoulder. Taking the hint, he rolled to his back, tugging her with him. She shifted a leg over his as she continued to kiss him, to drive him crazy with her lips, her tongue, her taste.
He brushed her hair back as he changed the angle of their kiss and stroked his tongue against hers. Groaning, she pressed her lips to the corner of his mouth, his jaw, trailed wet, sensual kisses down his throat until he shivered.
“God, Raegs . . .” His eyes slid closed as tendrils of heat and electricity raced across his flesh. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed this. You.”
“Yes, I do.” She shifted back, pressing her mouth down his chest, across to his right nipple. Her wicked little tongue flicked out, teasing the tip. Her lips closed around him, and she scraped her teeth against the spot until all that heat shot straight into his groin, making him hot and hard and ready.
He opened his eyes, looked down at her, tried to pull her back up to his mouth, but his hands were shaking and she was already moving lower, sliding her slick tongue around his belly button while her fingers flicked the button of his jeans free.
“Raegs, come here.” His voice was raspy as he reached for her. She slithered out of his grip and moved back off the bed, dropping to her knees between his legs as her hands closed around his waistband and tugged.
“Lift,” she ordered, breathless, frantic, insistent.
He pressed his feet into the floor and lifted his hips. In one swift move she pulled the jeans from his legs and threw them over her shoulder. He managed to get a hand on her sweater and tugged. She lifted her arms so he could slide it off, but before he could reach for her, she wrapped her fingers around his erection and lowered her mouth to the tip.
Heat, pressure, so much suction surrounded him, his brain short-circuited. His hands fell to the mattress as she pleasured him.
“Raegan . . .” His hands fisted in the comforter. Sweat beaded on his forehead and down his spine. He fought the screaming need for release and closed his shaking hands around her shoulders so he could pull her away before it was too late. Sitting up, he said, “I’m never going to last if you keep doing that, baby.”
She stumbled to her feet as he pulled her up. “I don’t want you to last.”
Need roared through his veins as he pulled her mouth down to his. She melted into his kiss with a moan. Rolling her to her back, he pushed her down to the mattress then drew back and flicked the latch on her bra.
“Lose the bra.” His fingers freed the button on her jeans, and as she wiggled out of the straps, he peeled her pants down her legs and tugged them off. “Hurry.”
Her hands shook as she did what he said. He found a condom in his wallet on the floor and rolled it on. Her eyes were glazed with lust as he climbed over her, as he lowered and took her mouth, as he kissed her with a need stronger than any need he’d ever had for a drink.
“God, Raegs.” He slid a hand down her stomach and between her legs to find her hot and wet and ready. “You have no idea how many nights I laid awake thinking about this. About you. About us.”
“Oooh.” Her head fell back, and she rocked into his hand. “Alec . . .”
He couldn’t handle the desperation in her voice, the heat in her words, the feel of her beneath his fingers. Kissing her again, he moved between her legs and slid inside her.
Her whole body trembled, and she groaned long and deep, the sound turning his blood to lava in his veins. Kissing her deeper, he began to move, their bodies finding a familiar rhythm that pushed aside any last lingering doubt that this wasn’t exactly where he was supposed to be.
“Oh, Alec.” Her hot breath fanned his lips. “Yes, yes . . . don’t stop.”
He couldn’t. Was past the point of reason. He knew she was close. Knew the signs, knew her body better than anyone. Rolling to his back, he pulled her on top of him so she could take the lead, so she could pull them both into mind-numbing bliss.
“Raegs . . .” He slid a hand around her nape, pulling her mouth back to his as her body moved faster. “God, I need you. Don’t give up on me, baby. No matter what.”
“I won’t,” she whispered against his lips. “I won’t ever.”
Her whole body contracted, and she squeezed him so tight the last of his resistance broke. And when the wave crashed over him, it swept her under as well, swirling them together into a pleasure so sweet and perfect and complete, he knew he’d been a fool to think he could ever live without.
She collapsed against him, sweaty, breathless. And he was just as wrecked, but more alive than he’d ever been. Holding her tight, he pressed his face to her throat and breathed her into his heart, into his soul, drawing her back where she’d always belonged.
Long minutes passed where the only sound in the room was their heavy breaths and racing heartbeats. She relaxed into him, sighing in pure contentment. He tightened his hold on her and closed his eyes, loving her damp skin against his and how perfectly she fit against him, even now. Loving everything about her—her compassion, her ability to forgive, the way she made him the man he’d always wanted to be.
“What are you thinking?” she whispered.
He opened his eyes and blinked up at the ceiling. “I’m thinking I’m the biggest fucking moron on the planet for ever letting you go.”
She turned her head against him and smiled. “Yes, you are. No argument there.”
He smiled. Couldn’t remember the last time he’d really smiled and meant it, like this.
“I’m also thinking I like what you did to this room.” His chest pinched. “And I’m trying really hard not to think of you here with anyone else.”
She pushed up on her elbow, looking down with gorgeous green eyes that had haunted him for three damn years. “No one has been here with me.”
His heart sped right back up as he looked at her. “No one?”
She shook her head, all those luscious auburn locks framing her face like ribbons of smoldering fire. “I only got rid of our bed because it was too big. It felt empty being in it alone.”
Pressure formed beneath his ribs as he brushed a lock away from her cheek, so much pressure he couldn’t find the words to tell her how sorry he was for hurting her, for leaving her. For being such an idiot.
Her gaze drifted to his chest, and she brushed her fingers over a mole near his collarbone. “And this will probably sound really pathetic, but . . .” She bit her lip, her cheeks turning a soft shade of pink. “I haven’t been with anyone since you left. I mean, I’ve dated, but I haven’t . . . you know.”
“You haven’t?”
She shook her head again and pursed her lips.
The relief was so sweet, it opened his lungs so he could draw air again, something he knew he didn’t deserve. Unable to stop himself, he laughed and closed his arms around her, pulling her against him as he closed his eyes and smiled into her hair.
“You think that’s funny?” she mumbled.
“Yes, because I nearly decked your boss at the hospital the other day.”
Her muscles relaxed, and she trailed her soft fingers over his arm. “That would have gotten me fired, I’m sure. He’s a nice enough guy, but I shouldn’t have gone out with him. I don’t really know why I did.”
Alec’s smile faded. He knew why. Because she’d been lonely and the guy had shown interest. Alec had no one to blame for that but himself.
It should have been me. It should have only ever been me. His throat grew thick. “I haven’t been with anyone either.”
Her fingers stopped their tantalizing strokes. “Really?”
He shook his head, knowing his admission wasn’t going to be as sweet as hers. And he hated that too, but he owed her the whole truth if they had any hope of moving forward from here.
“I’ve dated a lot of women. Taking a date to family functions was a great way to make sure no one asked how I was doing or brought up my drinking or rehab or any of the past. And it was a way to forget and not have to feel anything.” Her heart beat fast against his, making his hurt all over again, but he forced himself to go on. “I wasn’t a saint, Raegan. I tried to sleep with several of them. I just . . . couldn’t.”
“Why not?” she whispered.
His brain tripped back over the nameless faces, all redheads he’d picked up in a pathetic attempt to purge Raegan from his heart. None of them had done the trick. All they’d done was make him miss her more.
He turned his head and pressed trembling lips against her temple. “Because none of them were you. You’re the only woman I want. The only one I’ve ever wanted. I love you, Raegan. I love you so damn much. I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I never wanted that. I only ever wanted you to be happy, and I knew I was making you miserable. I thought if I left, you might be able to smile again. I thought—”
“Oh, Alec.” Her hand grazed his jaw, and she turned her face toward his, claiming his mouth to draw every ounce of his pain and agony and fear away. Her kiss bathed him with sweetness. Caused that tiny heart he’d only recently realized he still had to swell. Gathered all the broken pieces inside him and wrapped them in love until he knew he was forgiven.
When he was breathless, she drew back and looked down at him. And smiled that for-his-eyes-only smile that told him he was loved. That he was home. That they could get through anything together. “I hope you have more condoms in that wallet of yours, because I want you again.”
Heat rolled through his belly, making him hard—everywhere. Making him smile too. “There’s still a drugstore around the corner, isn’t there?”
“Yes.”
He hooked a leg over hers and rolled her to her back. “Then we’re good for at least another round. I have one left. After that, you’ll need to stop mauling me long enough so I can run down to the store.”
She laughed as he kissed her. And when her laughter turned to a sigh and her lips became greedy, he sighed too because he’d finally been given a second chance.
No matter what happened with their investigation, no matter what happened with Emma, he promised himself he wouldn’t mess this chance up.
All Alec had wanted to do the next morning was stay in bed and show Raegan how much he loved her with his hands and mouth and body. But her boss had texted and told her she needed to come into the station to go over her research, and since that boss was the one who’d given Raegan the nudge about these missing-child cases, Alec had reluctantly let her go.
He pushed the drugstore door open and smiled as he remembered the way Raegan had brushed her lips against his when he’d dropped her off at her station. Her kiss had been filled with so much promise, his whole body had tingled. He couldn’t wait for her to kiss him again like that. Couldn’t wait to show her just how incredible that made him feel.
The brown paper bag crinkled in his hand as he slipped on his sunglasses, crossed to his truck, and tossed the bag inside. He hadn’t made it to the drugstore last night for the condoms now in the bag. Hadn’t wanted to leave Raegan for even five minutes. Instead, they’d used his last one and then gotten creative with their hands and mouths. Of course, it had been insanely hot and completely satisfying, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted her in the shower, on her bed, against the wall, on the couch . . . His whole body tingled, as he thought about taking her on the floor in the entryway just as he’d done the night he’d come home from that assignment in Afghanistan, so desperate to touch her that they’d barely had time to close the door before they’d ripped each others’ clothes off.
He hit the lock button on his fob, shoved the keys into his pocket, and pulled out his phone as he crossed the street toward the coffee shop on the opposite corner, feeling hopeful for the first time in years. Hopeful about his life and where it was headed, hopeful about his relationship with Raegan, hopeful even about finding their daughter.
His chest both tightened and warmed when he thought of that stuffed animal, when he thought of Emma. Raegan was right. This was the best lead they’d had in years. They weren’t going to give up until they found her.
He dialed, held the phone to his ear, and shoved one hand in the front pocket of his jeans as he moved down the block.
Hunt answered on the second ring. “Was just about to call you, dipshit.”
“My ESPN is on point today, then.”
Hunt laughed at the old joke, but his humor faded quickly when he said, “So Gilbert seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth.”
Alec’s mood took a serious nosedive at just the mention of the man who’d tried like hell to ruin his life. “He hasn’t checked in with his probation officer?”
“Nope. No one’s seen him. I’m checking in with his old acquaintances, but so far I’ve got nothin’. Was the FBI able to match that note on Raegan’s car to his handwriting?”
“Not yet.”
“Of course not yet, because shit doesn’t go down that fast in real life, only on TV.”
Alec really wasn’t in the mood to get into Hunt’s ongoing prejudice against Hollywood. “What about Murray? Did you find out anything about his accident? Or what he was doing before it happened?”
“Yeah.” Paper shuffled, and Alec imagined Hunt shoving aside folders and piles on his mess of a desk to find the scrap of paper where he’d jotted his notes. “I tracked his movements prior to the accident. He left work around five thirty p.m., stopped at a drugstore downtown, then headed northeast and entered the”—more papers rustled—“the Children Are Our Future charity offices on Morris. He was there for thirty minutes before heading to the West Hills.”
Alec stopped at the corner and waited for the light to turn. “What’s Children Are Our Future?”
“It’s a youth-mentoring charity. They partner at-risk kids with adult volunteers in the community. Kind of a big brother–type thing, but they claim to only use professional, successful, business-minded mentors. Let me see, their website says, ‘Successful men and women in the community who have passed vigorous background checks and are committed to being a stable, positive role model destined to shape the minds of our future generations.’”
“That’s a tall order.”
“No shit.”
“And Murray was a volunteer mentor?”
“I’m not sure yet.”
“Who runs the charity?”
“Um . . . I’m still looking into that. There’s nothing on the site. You think this has something to do with your cases?”
“I’m not sure. I’ll give the charity a ring later to see what I can find out. What about the accident?”
“Looks like alcohol was a factor. After he left the charity, he stopped at a bar, was seen drinking inside over the next hour, then he left. Accident happened roughly twenty minutes after that.”
Maybe or maybe not. It was still way too coincidental that Murray had been involved in all three of these missing children’s cases and now he was dead only one day after Alec and Raegan had tried to talk to him.
The sign flashed “Walk,” and Alec stepped off the curb, following a man in a suit and a woman in a floral dress that was way too springy for Oregon in January. “Once they get the toxicology reports back, any chance you can snag them so I can take a look?”
“I’ll try. I’ve got a buddy with the Portland PD who owes me a favor. Speaking of favors . . . what’s the deal with you and the ol’ ball and chain? And don’t try to tell me nothin’, because I know you so damn well that I know when you’re lying.”
Alec’s stomach tightened as he crossed the street. Hunt was fiercely protective of his friends. It was his greatest strength. He’d been with Alec
the day Alec had gotten the final divorce papers, and he’d seen how the news had wrecked Alec. What he didn’t know was that Alec was the one who’d walked away from the marriage, and that he was the one who’d filed those papers, not Raegan.
“That’s a conversation I think we need more time for.”
“Shit, man. There is something going on between the two of you. What the hell are you doing, Alec?”
Alec sighed, not in the mood to get into it with Hunt today, and glanced at a woman on the far sidewalk holding a crying baby. His eyes widened when he spotted the shadowy figure behind her in the al—
He heard the pop a split second before pressure exploded in his shoulder. His body sailed backward. His cell phone flew from his fingertips. The woman on the sidewalk screamed and jerked her baby toward the building. The back of Alec’s skull hit the pavement with a crack, but thanks to his time in Afghanistan and Iraq and the world’s hot spots taking pictures for the AP, he knew exactly what had hit him.
A bullet.
The fucker had shot at him. Right in broad daylight like the coward he’d always been.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Raegan itched to throw her coffee cup across the desk and into the face of the man currently lecturing her. Since he was her boss, who she’d recently ended things with, she figured that wouldn’t be her smartest move.
“Furthermore,” Jeremy said, “contrary to what you think, this station is not here to fund your own personal agenda, whatever that may be. I gave you an assignment, I assumed you were working on that assignment, and now I find you’ve done nothing to get me the story? That’s not the way things work around here, Raegan.”
He was ticked she’d broken things off with him. He’d acted like he hadn’t cared, but obviously he had. She knew that. She knew it was why he was laying into her now, and she knew she needed to be sympathetic. But it was hard. Especially because he knew this wasn’t just any story; it was personal for her.