Instead, I lifted a hand to his face and gently traced a path down his stubbled cheek. Jag’s eyes widened and his breath hitched.
“I don’t care who you were. What you were.” I blinked back tears, a lump blocking my throat. “I love you. You’re a good person inside.” Jag opened his mouth to contradict me, but I pressed on. “You’re a good person who has done bad things, Jag. I have too. Shameful things.” I dropped my gaze as a wave of humiliation rushed over me when I thought of the sexual acts I had done in exchange for drugs.
“Doll…” Jag sounded pained.
I met his eyes again. “I can only be who I am now and hope that you love me, despite my past. Just as I love you, Jag. Who you were doesn’t matter. I know what lengths you’ll go to just to keep me safe. What you sacrificed to try to keep your sister safe. That’s the man I love.”
I watched as my big, strong, fearless ex-drug lord swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing and his eyes shining with moisture. He cupped my face and brushed his thumb across my lips.
“I love you, Miri. And you’re right, I’ll do anything to keep you safe. Anything. Let’s go home and I’ll tell you my plan.”
Jag stood and held out a hand, helping me to my feet. The ride home was quiet and my stomach ached, buzzing with nerves the entire time. Something terrible was coming, I could feel it. Whatever Jag’s “plan” entailed was going to slice me to pieces before I could be put back together.
Jag said nothing. He merely stared out the window, deep in thought, until we pulled into the drive.
Jag
“No! Please don’t do this.” Miri cried and begged, her eyes swollen and face ruddy from hours of begging and sobbing. “You can’t.”
My sweet Miri was close to hyperventilating. Worried, I grabbed hold and crushed her to my chest, murmuring softly as I stroked her hair. “It will be okay, doll. I have to do this, you know that.”
“No,” she wailed, her tiny hands clutching my shirt and balling it up in her fists.
I rubbed her back and buried my nose in her fiery hair. “I can’t take a chance that he’ll find us. Find you. I need to end this so we can live without looking over our shoulders.”
Miri trembled in my arms, her sobs muffled by my chest. It felt as if my heart were being ripped right out of my chest and stomped beneath someone’s boot until all that was left was a bloody stain on the ground.
“I’m sorry, doll.” I gently untangled her fingers from my shirt and stood. Miri screamed and tried to throw herself back onto me. I felt sick as I ordered George to hold her back. Watching his arms wind around her waist as she wailed nearly broke me. I turned my gaze to George. “I’m trusting you to follow my instructions to the letter.” He nodded and I knew I could trust him with my most precious possession. My Miri. My doll. My life.
Cat watched from behind Miri, tears running down her face for her friend. Before I did something stupid, like gather Miri in my arms and lock us in the bedroom forever, I snagged my duffel, threw it over my shoulder, and strode out the door. Frank was waiting with the car while Sammy packed his gear in the trunk and climbed in the backseat. I leapt in the front passenger seat and growled. “Get out of here, now.” I needed to put distance between Miri and me or else I’d break down and run back into the house, sweep her into my arms, and never let go.
“Got it, Boss.” Frank put the car in gear and drove to the main road. The further we got from Austin, the emptier I felt. Then I remembered why I was doing this and my hollow heart hardened.
I would not fail Miri like I failed Rose.
The empty space in my chest filled with fire, crackling and hissing as I allowed the flames to devour Jag, leaving Boss standing amongst the ashes to rise like a phoenix when the inferno burned itself out.
My fingers curled and my muscles tensed. I was going to finish this or die trying. When I was with Miri, I could be Jag, but only Boss could make sure she was safe. And I was going to make damn sure Miri was safe.
* * *
I jerked awake when Frank turned off the car.
“We’re here, Boss.”
“Fuck.” I cracked my neck, sore from falling asleep at a strange angle against the window. Outside was dark and I could barely make out the shape of the small house in front of us. “Let’s go.”
Frank pushed open his door and I did the same, climbing down and stretching my limbs, muscles cramped after a few hours on the road. The route was less than four hours, so Frank drove the entire distance to Laredo, a small town on the Mexican border, while I slept. He popped the trunk and Sammy grabbed the boxes and bags of equipment he needed to get the house ready for El Cuchillo.
“Sure this is gonna work, Sammy?” Frank asked as he sliced open a box and removed several bundles of tightly wound cable.
“I have it on good authority that Cuchillo has family right over the river from here, and that he is hell-bent on killing Boss, so yeah, it’ll work.” I wished I felt the confidence my tech genius seemed to have, but I had no fucking clue if Cuchillo would show up. For all I knew, the asshole was halfway to South America. “We hacked all his bank accounts using the information found in the house and transferred all his money. He’s broke, he lost his territory when he abandoned it and we took out all his men, plus he lost all of his power.” Sammy glared at Frank as I opened another box filled with small black devices. “What would you do?”
Frank stared at Sammy, contemplating the man’s question. “I’d be beyond furious. Murderous. And this idiot? After trying to kill Boss and Miri more than once,” Frank turned to me. “At your own home? That asshole doesn’t think with his head. You’re right. He’ll come,” Frank agreed.
“Good,” I said, done with talking. “Let’s get all this shit in place and ready so we can tell George to start the rumors of my whereabouts. Then, we wait.”
It took half the night and most of the next day before we had the entire system set up in and around the tiny house. Frank and I took turns sleeping while Sammy did the bulk of the work. The two of us acted as his assistants, attaching wires and placing sensors in the yard while he organized the control panel at the table in the shabby little kitchen.
I woke from a nap around dinnertime and ran both hands through my hair. The amount of stress from being separated from Miri was killing me. Knowing how hurt she was when I left, the look of despair in her eyes. Goddamn, it just about had me saying “fuck it,” driving all the way back to Austin, throwing her over my shoulder, and disappearing, just the two of us on a private island somewhere we would never be found. But that was the problem—Cuchillo would eventually find us. Men like him never stopped. His massive ego was flattened beneath my boot, the public humiliation too much for him to take without extracting his revenge. I had to make this right.
For me.
For Rose.
For my broken doll.
I unplugged my phone from the nightstand and saw a dozen missed calls and another dozen text messages, all from Miri. My chest constricted at the thought of her crying herself to sleep, desperate to talk some sense into me. I would know. I was in the exact same position while she was with that bastard El Cuchillo. The memory of what he did to my precious doll burned in my gut. He violated her in the worst ways possible, and I wouldn’t stop until he was dead. I turned off my phone and threw it back on the nightstand. Nothing would distract me from finishing this, not Miri, not anything.
Frank was in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee. I poured one for myself and sat at the table next to him. “Sammy asleep?” I asked.
“Yeah. He completed the setup about an hour ago so I told him to get some shut-eye.” Frank’s dark eyes met mine. “I figured you were going to get the ball running as soon as possible so he should sleep while he could.”
“You’re right,” I said, sipping the hot beverage slowly. “Text George and tell him it’s a go.”
Frank slipped his phone out of his pocket and tapped out a quick message. A second later it chimed. “He’s on it, Boss.?
??
“Good.”
George would send a couple of my guys out on the streets to drop hints that I left town now that Brick took over my territory. They would mention my possible location without giving an exact address. Too much detail would scream, “trap” and while El Cuchillo was a man who ran on impulse, but not stupid. If I made it too easy, he would know I was waiting for him. It would take longer this way, with Cuchillo having to ferret out my safe house, but it was more of a sure thing than making the man suspicious. He would send scouts to the town and I would make sure to show up in public a few times so the locals got a good look at me. Then it was up to Cuchillo and his men to find me.
Now… all we could do was wait.
12
Miri
“I can’t do this, Cat. I can’t.” I paced in front of the wall of windows in the fancy penthouse suite in the ultra-modern high-rise W Austin Residence building. Nerves churned and twisted in my stomach causing a low-grade nausea that never seemed to leave. Which, if I were to think about it, was likely due to another reason. A path I refused to allow my mind to go down.
“You have to stay calm, Miri. It isn’t good for the—”
I shot my best friend a dark look, then flicked my eyes over to one of the many men sent to guard us along with George, who was staying in one of the suite’s many bedrooms.
“Sorry,” Cat said. She knew I didn’t want to talk about… that, in front of anyone else.
“I should have told Jag before he left.” I shivered and crossed my arms over my stomach. “Maybe he wouldn’t have left.”
Cat stood and joined me by the windows. “You weren’t ready, Miri. When he came home from the hospital he was at the house for three weeks and you never found the courage to bring it up. It had to be when you felt it was right.”
I held back a sob and stared out at the rolling hills of Austin. “You’re right. I could have told him. I was too scared. Now, he might not…” I sniffed and blinked back the burning tears. “He might not ever know.”
Cat grabbed my wrist and hauled me into the bedroom, closing the door and locking it.
“Miri, you have got to stop this. It’s not good for the baby and terrible for your own health. You look awful.” Cat pushed me gently onto the bed and sat next to me, slinging an arm around my shoulders. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten?” I hunched over, wishing I could disappear. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” She grabbed the phone off the nightstand. “Hi, I’d like three orders of fruit, two bowls of steel-cut oats, ten breakfast tacos, six market omelets, four orders of pancakes and four orders of waffles to the penthouse, please.” There was a pause. “Yes, three carafes of coffee and two of orange juice. Thanks.” Cat hung up and gave me a smug smile.
“That’s a lot of food, Cat.” I wrinkled my nose when my stomach heaved.
She rolled her eyes. “There are five grown men hanging around here, plus us. You think they’re not hungry?”
“Well, I—”
“Besides, this way you get to pick what you think you can keep down and the guys and I will eat whatever you don’t want. But you will eat,” she said before I could protest.
I ran a hand along my flat midsection. “I’m having a hard time believing I’m pregnant, that a baby would even make it after everything I’ve been through. The nurse said it’s part of the routine blood work for all young women. When I was at the hospital having my head checked, the doctor told me, but I just couldn’t accept… I mean, in a way, I was happy, especially because I’m far enough along that I know it’s Jag’s, probably from one of the first times we…” I stopped, deciding I didn’t need to get into details. “But when Jag was shot and everything was a mess, I didn’t want to ruin his recovery by telling him he was about to be saddled with a kid he hadn’t asked for.” My vision blurred.
“Miri, are you stupid? That man loves you so much it’s sickening. He’s not going to dump you because you’re pregnant.” Cat snorted. “Hell, he’ll probably put you on a bed in a room lined with pillows and lock the door so you won’t get hurt.”
I wanted to smile, but couldn’t manage to get past my intense fear. Fear that Jag would hate me. Fear of rejection. Fear he’d never know he was going to be a father because he’d be dead before I could tell him. My hands shook harder.
“I should have told him.” My voice hitched and I began to hyperventilate. Cat rubbed my back and pushed my head between my knees.
“Breathe, Miri. Everything is going to be okay.”
She meant well, but I knew her words were empty. Cat couldn’t make any promises, though it was good to have her with me as I fell apart. If I didn’t have Cat, I’d be completely alone. No way would I turn to George or one of the Men in Black for any sort of comfort.
By the time the food arrived, I had stopped freaking out just enough to join everyone at the dining room table and not garner any strange looks. I ate my fruit and oatmeal in silence, letting the others fill the empty space with conversation. The men never spoke business in front of either Cat or me, so the discussion was ridiculously trivial—sports, weather, more sports. I wanted to grab one of them by their broad shoulders and shake him until he told me what was going on. Whether or not Jag was safe, where he was, how he was doing… I couldn’t sit here in this gilded tower and do nothing while the father of my child was off risking his life. At that thought, the nausea returned and I shoved back from the table, making it to the bathroom just in time to lose my entire breakfast as I heaved over the toilet.
Thankfully, Cat left me alone in my misery. The last thing I wanted was someone hovering. I rinsed my mouth and slid to the floor, resting my cheek on the cool tiles. Four days apart and I was already a total emotional train wreck. There was no way I could stay here and keep my sanity. I had to get out and find Jag, do something. Tell him about the baby. Maybe if he knew he was going to be a father, he would stop taking this unnecessary risk trying to lure out El Cuchillo. Maybe he would come back.
I wasn’t sure how long I lay on the floor, but by the time I pushed to my feet, my mind was made up.
* * *
“What are you—?”
“Shhhhh.” I grabbed Cat by the arm, maneuvered her down the hall into our room, and closed the door. “They’ll hear you.”
“Exactly,” my best friend said, crossing her arms over her chest, her brows pulled together and her mouth turned down. “Were you… eavesdropping on our guards?”
“Yes. Be quiet,” I hissed. “Wait here.” I crept back out into the hall, ignoring Cat’s silent, frantic hand-waving that let me know she was far from happy with my actions.
Padding on bare feet, I stopped at the corner where the hall opened into the large living area and listened to the men’s voices.
“He said there’s no sign of anyone so far.” That was Drake, or Man in Black number one, as I dubbed him before I knew his name.
“It’ll be soon,” George’s commanding voice said with confidence. “Feyo heard from one of his contacts that there’s been a lot of chatter about El Cuchillo and where he might be hiding.”
“Hiding doesn’t mean he’s headed toward the house in Laredo,” said the other Man in Black, a guy with the ridiculous name of Scratch.
My heart leapt at the new information. Laredo. I recognized the name of the town, but wasn’t exactly sure where it was. Somewhere south, I knew that much.
“He’s digging for more,” George said calmly. “I have no doubt El Cuchillo will go for Boss. He would never allow this kind of humiliation to go unpunished.”
A chill made me shudder and I instinctively covered my belly. Unpunished. I knew that sick bastard’s idea of punishment. Just the thought made bile rise up my throat.
“Laredo’s a pretty big town, George,” Scratch said.
Someone pushed back from the table and I froze. When I heard the clink of a glass in the kitchen and the pouring of liquid, I relaxed. No one was coming in my direction.
“They’re outside La
redo, not in Laredo, dumbass,” George snapped. “In a rundown piece of shit just east of some branch of Texas A&M.”
Jackpot!
I waited to see if I could get any more information. When the conversation quickly devolved into women and the guys’ latest conquests, I crept back to the bedroom.
“Jesus, Miri! What were you thinking?” Cat asked, obviously worried if the redness around her eyes was any indication.
“Calm down,” I said, scowling. “Those guys are here to protect us. What’s the worst that would happen if they caught me? Huh? Jag would kill them if they touched me.”
Cat huffed and flopped on her bed. “You’re right. I just don’t know what you’re trying to do. It’s making me nervous.”
I bit my lip. Cat had good instincts. She knew I was up to something. For obvious reasons, I couldn’t tell her. She’d try to stop me, and she couldn’t come with me. I hated lying to my friend, but it was for her own good.
“I was just hoping to hear an update about Jag, you know? I figured if he’s hurt they might not tell me.”
Cat sighed. “You’re probably right.” She pulled the covers over herself and huddled down. “I’m going to sleep.”
“I’ll be a few more minutes.” I turned off the light and went into the bathroom to figure out how I was going to get out of here without getting caught. It took me a few minutes to flick through the pictures on the phone Jag got for me a while back, but I finally found the perfect one. I had snapped a casual shot of Jag in a T-shirt and jeans, looking sexy as hell right after we got back from a ride. His dark hair was mussed and his cheeks flushed pink beneath his tan skin. He was stunning.