She hustled off to do that. When she was gone, Leonard said, “So, what’s the plan?”
“Across the street to our office. That way we’re close together, but you’re also up high with a good view. The office is a pretty good Alamo.”
“Folks at the Alamo lost,” Leonard said.
“I’ll take that under advisement. They may not show up anyway, but it’s as safe a place as one can expect until we can do some serious thinking. Shit. What if they decide to take a run at Brett and Chance? I hadn’t considered that.”
“Brett will shoot them,” Leonard said.
“She will, won’t she?”
“Goddamn right. Should I call Marvin?”
“Yeah. I’ll call Brett and give her a heads-up, see if she wants to move her and Chance to a safer place.”
Mrs. Elton came back with two small bags. Leonard took them and they went out to the car. Leonard drove it across the street and behind our office. I watched him do it through the front window, the one where Mrs. Elton had seen Leonard and Marvin come and go.
The car wasn’t exactly hidden, but it seemed good enough for the moment.
I called Brett. The phone rang, went to voice mail. I had an uncomfortable five minutes thinking about how knocked out she might be due to the flu medicine she was taking. I could call Chance, but I didn’t want to frighten her. She wasn’t entirely indoctrinated into our way of life, not yet, and I wasn’t sure I wanted her to be.
I called again. This time, on the third ring Brett answered.
“Brett, sorry, baby, but you and Chance and Buffy have to leave the house.”
“Oh, shit, what now?” she said.
“The usual mayhem, and I should add this is just a precaution. Take a gun with you. Might as well be straight with Chance, though you can boil it down to the bone if you want. Bottom line is our investigation may have stirred up some bad men who might want to take things out on me and Leonard and anyone around us.”
“I feel like shit still, and so does Chance,” she said.
“All the more reason to get out of the house.”
“I can handle myself.”
“I know, but it’s not necessary.”
“Give me the scoop, Hap.”
I told her more details but boiled it pretty much to the bone.
“I wasn’t sick, I wouldn’t go,” Brett said. “I’d send Chance away, but I wouldn’t go. But since we are both sick, I’m going.”
“All I’m asking, go because you’re sick and take Chance with you.”
“Duh,” Brett said. “Of course she goes with me.”
“Don’t forget your flu medicine. And remember, text me when you find someplace safe.”
After that I called Manny.
She answered on the first ring.
“This better be good, whoever you are,” she said.
“Define good,” I said.
“Who is this?”
I told her.
“Oh. I hope you didn’t call me in the middle of the night because you decided I would be a swell date. Though tomorrow might work. I need a nice dinner and a movie. If you’re calling about those contacts I said I’d make, I tried, but they didn’t call back.”
“Nothing like that,” I said. I gave her the stripped-down version, finished with “I need you to watch yourself. I got a feeling they may be planning to clean house.”
“You think this why?”
“Gut reaction.”
“What do you need from me?”
“Just warning you.”
“I’m a big and capable girl. Let me state it again, so you hear me: What do you need from me?”
She sounded like Brett. But she wasn’t sick.
“Backup.”
“Where are you?”
I told her, said, “You might bring something to eat as well.”
“Would you like some little initialed dinner napkins?”
“That would be swell.”
“I’ll wear a nice little maid outfit and bring them to you on a silver tray and later we can make whoopee.”
“That really would be nice, but alas, my girlfriend doesn’t let me date.”
“Ah, then I’m bringing a friend, my nine-mil,” she said.
34
I was sitting there thinking what do I do if they show up, call them bad names and declare king’s X? I didn’t have a gun. I didn’t like guns, but I was in a business where guns mattered. What I had was some pocket lint and a headful of empty dreams.
Maybe if they showed up, I could just keep the door locked and tell them no one was home. Or like the bandit who hid in the henhouse, I could say when the bad guys came, “Nobody in here but us chickens.”
Then I remembered the gun I had taken from Barker and put in my coat pocket with the lint. I reached in my pocket and pulled it out. It was shiny and it was small. A .22. That will kill you good as any firearm, but it might not be the best gun in a shoot-out, considering the kinds of weapons the other team might have.
Then again, there was no reason for them to know I was here. None. However, they might come for Mrs. Elton and Charm, and if they found me, I’d do just as well. Way I figured it, me and Leonard were on their list.
Lights flashed through the curtains. Holding the .22 automatic in my hand, I eased to the hallway where there were a row of windows, gently slipped a curtain aside, and looked out.
Someone got out of a car. It wasn’t Sheerfault or Bobo, unless they had taken to wearing a short dress and high heels.
The door unlocked; a voice said, “Mr. Collins?”
“Charm,” I said. “Step inside and close the door.”
She did.
“You are supposed to go across the street to our office,” I said.
“Got a text saying to come home. Nothing after that. My phone went dead.”
“That was an error on my part,” I said. “Your mother is there with Leonard. He’ll watch after you. Safer there than here. Leave your car, and I’ll walk you over. Your mom gathered you up some things. Give me your house key.”
We locked up and walked across the street. I escorted her upstairs, called out gently to Leonard. He opened the door and let her in. He had a shotgun from the closet. It was the only one there at the moment, so nothing extra for me. But at least both of us were armed now.
Leaving Charm in Leonard’s care, I started back down the stairs.
“Maybe you should stay here,” he said, standing in the doorway, looking down at me. “Not divide our forces.”
“I think it’s better I’m over there. Should they show up, I’ll call you.”
“That’s a good idea because?”
“We got them on both sides.”
“So the two of us have them surrounded?”
“Manny is coming.”
“We don’t know Manny. Not really.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers, buddy. I figure she hates the department enough, she’ll do all right. Marvin? You call him?”
“Didn’t want anyone else to know what was going on at the station, because it’s pretty complicated and not easy to digest unless you’re a part of it, so I left a message for him to call me. Called his home too. Went to voice mail.”
“Stay observant.”
“The fucking Invisible Man couldn’t get past me.”
“Nice to know,” I said, and went down the stairs.
Back at Mrs. Elton’s house, I wandered around and found some sodas in the refrigerator. I took one and made a mental note: Owe one diet soda. I went back to the window and looked out. Nope. Nothing. I sat in a chair and tapped my fingers. That didn’t make anything happen. Good. My magic was working.
Some dogs barked down the way. I strained to listen, but the barking stopped. I finished the soda, went back to the kitchen, and put the can in the trash, as I didn’t see any recycling business like at our house. I got another soda out of the fridge. I owed two now.
I sat down in my chair, soda in my left hand, .22 on my knee, tapping my fi
ngers on the arm of the chair. So far that had brought me good luck, so why stop now?
Time limped by on a walker.
Lights shone through the curtains as cars drove by on the street. None of the cars stopped. I put the empty soda can beside the chair. I was feeling a little sleepy.
No naps, I told myself. That would be bad. Ever vigilant. Ever alert. Frosty as hell and ready to go.
Actually, I nodded a little.
That’s when I sensed someone was behind me. Sensed may be too strong a word. Maybe I heard something, felt a faint change in the temperature of the room due to another presence. I quit tapping my fingers and put my hand on the .22 on my knee. I was about to hit the floor and roll from a possible shot when a voice said, “You are not a ninja.”
It was Manny.
“Damn, girl,” I said.
“Came through the back. Picked the lock. Had I been a bad guy, they’d find your head in the yard with a turd in your mouth.”
Manny was dressed in black and was wearing a holster with her sidearm in it, had her hair tied back. “I parked down the street, three blocks, walked over. No one saw me but some dogs.”
I had heard them bark and hadn’t suspected a thing. Hap Collins, ever ready.
“So you’ll feel better about it, I’m a really good sneak. What is that you have in your hand? A cap gun?”
I let it rest in my palm and held it out to her.
She picked it up and looked at it. The streetlight outside gave us enough light to see by.
“You might as well throw this at them and hope it hits a vital spot.”
“Not the way I shoot,” I said.
“Let’s hope you’re a better shot than you are a sentinel.”
“Thankfully, I am.”
“If they should come here,” Manny said, “my guess is they’ll do what I did. One of them, anyway, and when the one out front thinks the sneak has had enough time to pick the lock and slip in the back door, the other one will come through the front door, guns blazing. You know, of course, this can all go south even if we put them down. It’s police you’re dealing with. They can make up any story they like.”
“If they don’t act like police, they’re not police.”
“If you can prove they aren’t acting like police, then you will be in good shape.”
“I’m very optimistic.”
“I suspect that’s a great comfort. Got any more sodas?”
“Aren’t mine, but yes. In the fridge.”
She went to get one. I told myself, Okay, now I owe three sodas.
When she came back she was carrying a chair from the kitchen table. She placed it against the wall to the left of my chair, sat down, pulled the tab on the soda.
“Any more information I need to know?” she said.
“I sometimes stay up past my bedtime. I try not to snack after six, but right now I could eat the ass out of a dead pig.”
“I’m a little snacky myself,” she said. “Speaking of a dead pig’s ass, I like pork skins. You like those?”
“I do.”
“Good. We like pork skins. I think this is like a bonding moment.”
“Could be. We always called them pork rinds, though.”
“Did you now?”
“We did.”
“Hap, you are one hell of a conversationalist.”
We sat silent after that. I considered another soda but figured I’d have to pee at the wrong time if things started to go down. Actually, I needed to pee then and I went to do it.
When I came back, Manny met me in the hallway. She had her pistol in her hand. She was moving and speaking softly.
“There’s someone fucking with the back door,” she said.
35
Manny went to one side of the door and I went to the other. A voice said, “Hap. It’s me. You got a gun, don’t shoot.”
“Who is me?” Manny said.
“Marvin Hanson,” I said, and opened the door.
Marvin came in and closed the door.
“Hey, Manny,” he said.
“Hey,” she said.
I forgot they knew one another.
“What the hell, man?” I said. “Shaking a door could get you shot.”
“I wanted to stir things a little, just in case someone had already got to you. Figured someone other than you was here, they weren’t going to say anything if I called out your name. If you answered, well, I been hearing your voice a lot longer than I’ve wanted to, so I’d recognize it.”
“It’s a nice voice,” Manny said. “Kind of baritone.”
“He just uses that to impress the girls,” Marvin said.
“Or when I have sinus,” I said.
“Didn’t know you were here, Manny. Wasn’t in the message. Hope hanging with this guy doesn’t become a habit.”
“We both like pork skins.”
“That’s something. I think a friendship could be formed around that,” Marvin said.
“What I said. Hap and I consider it a bonding moment. He calls skins pork rinds, though.”
“He’s out of touch,” Marvin said. He looked at me. “Got Leonard’s message.”
“Well, that part’s easy to figure,” I said.
“You are such a detective.”
“Cops coming too?”
“I am the cops.”
“The rest of them?”
“Not exactly. You know, one town, one ranger.”
“You’re not a Texas Ranger.”
“Don’t remind me. I wanted to be. Thing is, I got your message right after I got another one about some guy named Barker, ambulance chaser. Well, he caught one. Though, to be more accurate, he caught a hearse.”
“What?”
“Dead. Beat to death.”
“Son of a bitch,” I said.
“Yeah, son of a bitch,” he said. “Thing was, he had Brett’s agency card in his coat pocket.”
“Leonard gave it to him.”
“And then I got Leonard’s message, this address. He said the Camp Rapture police department might want you and him dead. I can absolutely understand that.”
“We have trouble making friends. I blame Leonard.”
“I got Leonard’s call, and I’m starting out, and I get a phone call from a dispatcher I know in Camp Rapture. He knows I know you guys. Who doesn’t? A blessing and mostly a curse. He says there’s a dead guy that’s been found behind the old high school, and the unknown someone called it in got your license number, saw your car over there, Hap.”
“Uh-oh,” I said.
“Yeah,” Marvin said. “Uh-oh. And that’s not all. This dead body, he’s got Brett’s agency’s card in his pocket.”
“And the dead guy is a sleazy lawyer named Barker,” I said.
“Bingo,” Marvin said.
“Shit.”
“Yeah,” Marvin said. “Shit.”
“We got set up. The boys who gave the license plates to the cops were the cops. They got it when they met us there tonight. We went by and saw Barker on account of he set us up.”
“And how’s that?” Marvin asked.
I explained, left out the part about Leonard punching Barker in his office, then said, “We gave him a card so he could call us. We told him his life was probably in danger and he ought to get the hell out of town. Maybe he was on his way when they got him. Maybe he was still sitting there thinking things over. I think the Camp Rapture cops, at least two of them, and a jailer named Bobo, decided he might talk too much. He may have, before he bit the big one, squealed on how he talked to me and Leonard, gave us the scoop.”
“Leonard gave me a little of it on the phone,” Marvin said.
“Here’s the rest of it,” I said, and told him what Barker had told us.
“So you’re sitting here thinking they might come for Mrs. Elton and Charm or you and Leonard?”
“Yep.”
“And Manny, you just happened to drop by for a cup of coffee?”
“Actually, I had a soda
and talked about pig skins,” she said.
Marvin shook his head. “You admit to me you were at the old school, and at his office, and I believe you didn’t kill him, but that story and your license plate number doesn’t do you and Leonard any good.”
“I know,” I said.
“Look, I’m the fucking police chief. I can’t show favoritism. I got this information from the dispatcher over there, in a friendly way, and I got to take you and Leonard down to the station.”
“Are we going to have a movie night?” I said.
“Nope.”
“Since you’re taking me and Leonard in, can you have someone watch after Mrs. Elton and Charm?”
“We can arrange that.”
“Can I come to the station too?” Manny asked. “I’m up. I got nothing to do. Maybe I could put an application in for a job.”
“Good. Manny gets a job and me and Leonard get the shaft,” I said.
“I’m not hired yet,” Manny said.
“And there’s the whole business about you being here with a murder suspect,” Marvin said.
“Oh yeah. That could be an impediment,” she said.
Marvin studied me carefully, said, “And there’s just a little more information I got for you.”
“Ah, shit,” I said. “The hits keep on coming.”
“An officer named Sheerfault pressed charges against Leonard for attempted assault and battery, but he said in self-defense he had to hand Leonard his ass.”
“Bullshit. Sheerfault voluntarily climbed into the ring with Leonard, and Leonard beat him like a redheaded stepchild with a harelip, choked him out.”
“And they say you hit Bobo with a board when he wasn’t looking,” Marvin said.
“I am not above that, and I did distract him, but I didn’t hit him with a board, and he was actually about to hit me. I used the elephant of surprise.”
“What?” Manny said.
“Ignore him,” Marvin said. “Look, I got to take you and Leonard in.”
“You have had a big night,” Manny said, and she clapped me on the shoulder.
“What is that you’re holding there, Hap?” Marvin said. “A cap gun?”
“This is going to complicate things,” I said, handing him the gun. “It belongs to Barker.”
36