These are the generally recommended steps:
• Document the bully’s behavior by making sure there are witnesses, including authority figures, such as teachers, supervisors, security personnel, local law enforcement, or the human resources department for your employer.
• With friendly witnesses present, ask the bully to stop.
• Keep a record of the bullying episodes with dates, times, and places so that you can show a repeated pattern. Each time, write down how the bullying affected you physically, mentally, and emotionally. If the same person is bullying others, have them document it in the same way.
CYBERBULLYING AND TEXTING TAUNTS
There is another form of bullying that has become prevalent with the increasing popularity of communication over the Internet and through texting on cell phones. This is generally known as cyberbullying, and even though the person doing the intimidating isn’t present, this form of harassment is every bit as harmful as any other. Often, but not always, the bully involved may be harassing the same victim in person too. It’s also not unusual for both parties to cyberbully each other with threats, rumors, and nasty comments.
Cyberbulling has been cited as a factor in a number of teen suicides in recent years. Ryan Halligan, a Vermont eighth-grader, took his own life in 2003 after rumors about him were spread on the Internet. His father described it as a “feeding frenzy” in which kids who normally didn’t do such things were joining in the cruelty. In another high-profile case, Megan Meier of Missouri was allegedly driven to suicide in 2006 by online bullying from a classmate’s mother.
Because of so many high-profile cases involving suicides and cyberbullying, many governments now have laws against using the Internet or cell phones to harass or intimidate others. If you feel someone is tormenting you with e-mails, social media posts, or text messages, there are many ways to respond. If you are living at home, you should alert your parents right away, so they can decide what to do.
If you are a victim of bullying, remember that the most important battle you must win is the one within. What someone else says or does to you should never define who you are. God created you for a purpose. You have value in His eyes. Put your faith in that, and then put that faith into action by rising above any criticism, gossip, or abuse that happened in the past. You were perfectly made by God. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.
A bully wants you to believe that you are less than you are, because putting you down makes the bully feel superior. You don’t have to play that game. Focus instead on building upon your gifts. God will take care of the rest. Joy and fulfillment will come as you walk the path created for you and only you.
ABUSE IN THE EXTREME
One way to move ahead in a positive direction if you have faced bullying or harassment is to focus on helping others and to make a positive difference in their lives, which I promise will make a wonderful difference in yours too. In my travels I’ve come across many dedicated and selfless people who’ve risen above their own challenges by reaching out to others. Some of them have been bullied and threatened for their efforts, yet they persevered.
As I noted earlier, there are many forms of bullying in this world. Anytime someone deprives another person of security, freedom, and peace of mind is essentially a human rights violation. Bullying is one form that is experienced by most people in some way. The most severe forms of human rights violations practiced around the world today include ethnic cleansing (also known as genocide), racism, persecution for religious beliefs or sexual orientation, sex slavery, human trafficking, and mutilation.
I’ve witnessed the horrors of human rights abuse in many forms across the globe. In Life Without Limits, I wrote of the “Street of Cages,” the center of prostitution and sex slavery in the slums of Mumbai, India, where the Reverend K. K. Devaraj, founder of Bombay Teen Challenge (BTC), works tirelessly to alleviate the suffering of women and children from enslavement, physical abuse, poverty, sexually transmitted diseases, and drug addiction.
My ministry supported “Uncle Dev” in his extraordinary work in Mumbai, and I was delighted to learn of another Christian who put his faith in action at a high level to raise funds for Bombay Teen Challenge. In fact, this unusual fellow is both a Christian and a knuckleballer. In January 2011 major-league pitcher R. A. Dickey of the New York Mets raised funds and awareness for BTC during his climb to the nineteen-thousand-foot-high summit of Mount Kilimanjaro in Africa. Upon reaching the top after a forty-mile hike, he sent the message, “God is good.” I appreciate what R. A. Dickey did in making Uncle Dev’s great organization the beneficiary of his adventure, especially since the Mets told their star pitcher that if he was injured during his climb, it might void his $4.5 million contract.
There are many people around the world who put their faith in action to fight for human rights and against abuse of the weak and powerless. One of the most dedicated I know is an intelligent young woman who easily could focus solely on her career as a lawyer in California. I met Jacqueline Isaac, who is about my age, through her parents, Victor and Yvette. They are all dedicated and brave Christian evangelists doing God’s work in the Arab world through their nonprofit organization Roads of Success. They produce an Arab-language Christian television show called Maraa Fadela (Virtuous Woman), which is hosted by Yvette and offers educational and inspirational material. Arabs around the world watch their shows by satellite.
Just a short time before I met Yvette, a disabled man in a wheelchair approached her outside her church in Egypt. He tugged on her sleeve and asked, “You are so focused on the needs of women and children. When are you going to start caring about our needs? We need help too.”
Yvette felt badly but explained that she was not connected to any person or organization that ministered to people with disabilities.
The man in the wheelchair responded, “This is a message from God. He will bring you the person who will help you grow your disabled ministry. But don’t be like the others. Do the work that is needed for us.”
A week or so later a priest mentioned to Yvette that he’d seen a video of a young man who would make a great guest for her television program—me! She contacted Life Without Limbs and invited me to appear on her show. We became instant friends. I call Yvette my Egyptian mother. (No, not mummy!)
Although the Egyptian government at that time did not exactly welcome Christian evangelists into the country, Yvette is so respected that she was able to arrange a mission tour for me. My message about overcoming disabilities and other challenges was given wide coverage in the media and led to my meeting many government officials and leading personalities, including the mayor of Alexandria and the princess of Qatar, Sheika Hissa Khalifa bin Ahmed al-Thani, who works with the United Nations on issues affecting disabled people.
With the support of many influential leaders, Yvette helped me organize a 2008 event in which I hoped to speak (with her translating) to about two thousand people in Cairo. We were amazed when twenty thousand showed up, making it one of the largest gatherings of Christians in the nation’s modern history. The success of that event opened the doors for me into many other Middle Eastern nations, including Kuwait and Qatar.
The Isaac family has embraced me and joined in my work on behalf of the disabled around the world. They do so many good things it is hard to keep up. They are also activists working to end traditions in that part of the world that suppress human rights, hinder education, endanger health, and oppress and harm women. In addition to their television and Internet ministry, they promote Christian concerts and evangelical events, sponsor mission trips, and conduct prayer initiatives.
Jacqueline Isaac, who is my unofficial second sister, is now a figure of international importance in her own right. She lived in California until the age of thirteen, when her life changed dramatically from a typical American teen’s existence built around school, friends, church, and entertainment.
“When I was thirteen years old, I came home one night and found my gran
dmother dead on the floor. My grandmother was my entire life: she helped raise me, I fell asleep next to her every night, and she was always the person I went to with all my secrets. I was shocked! In fact, I was so scared, shocked, and angry that I started to blame her death on God,” Jacqueline told me.
The teen was still reeling from her grandmother’s death when her parents gave her even more shocking news. They had decided to move the family to Egypt, where they would continue their work as Christian evangelists.
“I had lost my grandmother, my life back home, and everything I was accustomed to,” Jacqueline recalled. “It was then when I felt like giving up on life. I also remember giving up on God. I used to sit in my room by myself and shout out, ‘God, if You’re there, why would You take everything I know and love away from me?’ ”
Looking back, Jacqueline realizes now that she didn’t understand that God had a much bigger plan for her life than she had ever envisioned. “In fact, one day I met with a pastor who was counseling me. This pastor looked at me and said, ‘Don’t you understand? God has stripped you away from everything that you know so that all you have left is to rely on Him.’ ” At that point Jacqueline understood God’s calling for her life, and she knew she had to walk in faith, regardless of her circumstances.
“In essence, those difficult circumstances were exactly what I needed to shape and mold me for God’s calling,” she said. “I finally understood the principle of ‘walking in faith.’ ”
Months after meeting with that pastor, another pastor was visiting Egypt from Texas. She was leading a Christian conference. After the Texan’s sermon, there was a segment of prayer time where she approached Jacqueline and said, “Young lady, God has called you for a high purpose. I see you moving around the globe. You will go back to the United States, but you will always come back to Egypt. I see you returning to Egypt many times and bringing the women and the people out of oppression. I see you speaking to people of very high authority and major leaders of the country. When you speak, they will listen, and God will give you anointing and favor. You will ask yourself, ‘Who am I to have the honor to speak to these people?’ ”
Jacqueline was both shocked and humbled when she realized those words were a gift from God. “I had to hold on to His word and truly believe within that, even though I did not have the stature, education, or position at that point, God would do His work in me,” she said.
At age fifteen Jacqueline was accepted by a US college, but she shifted from biology and plans to become a doctor after one of her mentors said she was destined to be an ambassador. “You are going to bridge the gap between two worlds, and when you speak, people will listen,” he told her.
Jacqueline realized then that her destiny was linked to her parents’ Egyptian homeland. “I knew God had a plan to send me back to Egypt. During my college years, I walked in faith and I allowed Him to do a wondrous work in me,” she said. “Even when it sounded unbelievable, I realized when it seems impossible, hold on to the God who makes unrealistic dreams and wonders possible!”
Jacqueline has fulfilled that vision. She now works with religious and government leaders and social activists to bring change to Egypt. When she first moved there as a teen, Jackie was immediately struck by the oppression of women and shocked that even some of her female Egyptian relatives had been subjected to the horrific tradition of genital mutilation. When she questioned adults and even clergy about it, they denied that it was still practiced. Others said it was only done to “protect” young females from premarital sex. The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) estimates that as many as 140 million women around the world have been subjected to this cruel cultural tradition, which remains widespread in Egypt, Ethiopia, and the Sudan, with some groups also practicing it in Kenya and Senegal. Many in those countries believe that this custom performed on infants to fifteen-year-olds is mandated by their religions, even though no major religion requires it. Others believe that this mutilation protects girls from sexual activity until they are ready for marriage.
“All I knew was that these girls had pieces of their bodies removed, and it was horrible,” Jackie told me. “These things all shocked me. I could have been one of those girls if there had not been God’s grace in my life. I was blessed enough to be an Egyptian American, and I felt an obligation to help the women of my country understand their rights and freedoms.”
After Jackie returned to the United States to earn her law degree, she became an outspoken advocate of human rights in Egypt and across Asia, Africa, and the Middle East. She has made frequent trips to rural areas in Egypt and other countries in her campaign. Many times clergy and community leaders try to cover up or lie about these practices, even as young women are subjected to them in secret. When she learned that one clergyman was telling mothers in his congregation to have their daughters mutilated in this manner, Jackie confronted him. He told her, “It is better to cut your right arm off than have your whole body burn in hell,” meaning that it is better for girls to have their bodies mutilated than to risk having sex outside marriage.
Since physicians and hospitals won’t perform this illegal procedure, it is sometimes performed in barbershops or by midwives or clergy members. Infections, internal bleeding, and other long-term medical problems frequently result. My friend has put herself in harm’s way by speaking out against this abusive practice and others, but she feels that it is necessary to put her faith into action on behalf of women and girls in nations where they remain oppressed and victimized.
“One time we were driving with a doctor and pastor to speak to three hundred village men, and my heart was beating a hundred miles per hour. He was petrified too. We knew there would be resistance, so I prayed to God, asking Him what I should say to these men. They had no idea what I was going to speak about. I was afraid they would kill me when I told them that genital mutilation was evil and dangerous.”
Jackie believes that prayer is the tool to overcome all fear that may arise when you put your faith into action to stop oppression. She says prayer can bring victory beyond your circumstances.
“When I was about two minutes away from the church, I felt the Holy Spirit’s peace coming all over me. This is when I knew that the words coming out of my mouth were not going to be mine, but it was going to be God speaking through me. It was God who would bring the victory. It was God who would bring favor over me, and it was God who would touch these men’s hearts,” she said.
When she stood to speak to the men, the mercy and grace of God fell over her. Instead of the feared outcome, a heavenly result took place, and God brought overwhelmingly positive responses from these men whom she had feared.
“They had their hands held up high. They were on their knees, begging God for forgiveness and repenting for their actions toward their daughters,” she said. “All I could think was that if I had let fear control me, God wouldn’t have used me in this unimaginable way.”
Jackie explained to the men that many of their wives did not want to have sex because they’d been mutilated as girls and it was painful for them. Normally, it is considered offensive for an outside woman to even mention sex to men, but they responded by asking for forgiveness and vowing to never allow the mutilation again.
“I felt God was protecting me with His favor,” Jackie told me. “It was very moving. We have seen so much repentance.”
On another occasion, when she first began her efforts, Jackie went to a very poor and dangerous village to speak with women about their experiences with female genital mutilation, which was considered a taboo subject. Various people told her she should not go, “but I truly felt in my heart that God was leading me there. I felt Him say to me that it was important to tend to ‘the least of these’ in a village filled with thugs, trash, and poverty.”
Jackie said she “followed the whisper in my heart” and went despite her fears. She was speaking with some women when two men walked into the apartment. One had a knife, and they started fighting with each other ove
r whether Jackie should be allowed to stay. As they were fighting, the man with the knife fell down near Jackie’s feet. “I began to pray and ask God to control the situation. I called in the name of Jesus, and all of a sudden, the man stood up, looked at me, and ran off,” she said. Jackie called this “an incredible account of faith.”
“I realized from this that when danger turns your way, it is because God is about to do something great that Satan wants to stop,” she said. “The question is, how will you address the circumstance? By walking away or by facing Satan with the armor of Christ? I am so happy I stayed that day, because not only was I able to hear from these women, God used me to convince the father of the household to never circumcise any of his daughters again. In fact, this father began speaking to other men in his family and throughout the village as to how wrong the practice was.”
In following the Bible’s direction to “have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them,” I have worked with Jackie and her parents to help in this cause with missions to Egypt and other countries, but this young woman’s demonstration of faith in action under dangerous conditions is remarkable.
Since the Egyptian Spring revolution that overthrew the ruling party in Egypt in 2011, Jacqueline has become deeply involved with peacekeeping, consensus building, and human rights efforts there. She works with Christian and Muslim leaders as well as scholars, activists, and young revolutionaries to create a peace and human rights agreement, known as the Cannes Peace Accord and Plan of Action, for the nation. She has also formed a coalition movement called God Created All to unite Egyptians living around the world. In recognition of her work in Egypt, Jacqueline was asked by the world’s highest sheik to be the US representative of the Family House, a committee organized by Egypt’s religious leaders to encourage cooperation between Christians and Muslims.