I was zipping around the area, trying to hit a bunch of high schools one day. After speaking at one particular school, we were rushing for the door because we were running late (as usual). I didn’t have time to offer hugs to anyone in the audience who wanted to come up, which is very unusual for me. (I do like my hug time.)
On the way out of the school auditorium, I happened to glimpse a bald head, which isn’t something you normally see in a crowd of teenagers. I stopped my wheelchair and backed up and saw that it was a girl who appeared to have lost her hair to chemotherapy. I visit a lot of cancer patients. I know the look.
I maneuvered my chair close to her seat at the end of an aisle and said, “Sweetheart, give me a hug.” Needless to say, I was no longer worried about being late to the next speech. She put her arms around me, and soon she was crying and I was crying and every teacher and student around us was crying.
Why did we cry? I can’t tell you for certain what was going on with her or with the others around us, but for me, it was gratitude for the gift of serving someone in need. It is difficult for me to capture in words, but this e-mail sent to me by a young girl I’ll call Bailey sums up the life-changing experience of servant leadership much better than I can.
Twelve years ago, my mother dragged me out to volunteer at a camp for adults with developmental disabilities. At this Christian camp, each volunteer would be paired one on one with an adult with a disability for an entire week. For twelve-year-old me, there was nothing else that could possibly have been worse than being forced to spend a week with people with disabilities.
My mom didn’t give me an option, and she sure didn’t give me a way out of this “terrible” situation. My stomach was in knots as I sat nervously throughout orientation. Later on in the day, the camp staff handed out the applications for our campers and under the “disability” section, there it was, written in big, bold, fear-inducing letters: Down syndrome.
My hands shook as I flipped through the application that had just been given to me as I tried to prepare myself for meeting my camper the next day. I tossed and turned all night, questioning why God would put me in a situation where I was so fearful and so uncomfortable.
After breakfast and more orientation the next morning, the campers began to arrive, which made me more terrified than I could imagine. I could identify each of the campers that stepped out of the cars, but it was not by name that I was identifying them—it was by their disability—Down syndrome, autism, cerebral palsy. It was truly all I could see as the campers continued to arrive.
Finally, my name was called as a small girl quietly slid out of the van at the welcome area. I sheepishly walked over as the camp director introduced me to my camper for the week, Schanna. I didn’t know what to say other than “hello,” but before I could get that simple word out, Schanna had already thrown her arms around my neck and had begun to embrace me with an all-encompassing hug that I had never felt before.
“I can’t wait to be best friends with you this week,” she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me off to the first camp activity.
How could someone who just met me love me so unconditionally? They didn’t know my grades in school or how many friends I had or how popular I was. They didn’t know any of the things that previously defined me as a human being. By that evening every wall of insecurity, every hedge of fear had been completely and entirely broken down by an adult with a developmental disability, and all it took was giving Schanna a chance to be my friend.
It’s been twelve years since my first week of camp. After that week, my mom no longer had to drag me kicking and screaming out to other weeks of it. On my own accord I attended over thirty more weeks of camp across those twelve years, not only returning as a volunteer, but later as a summer intern.
The past two summers, I’ve even been on staff as an assistant camp director, and nothing gives me more joy than seeing first-time volunteers come out to a week of camp, knees trembling, hearts aching, and seeing their walls get shattered by a population that our society completely overlooks.
God has blessed me beyond measure throughout my time at camp. He has instilled in me a love and a passion for the population that our camp serves, and I am certain that anyone who gives someone with a disability a chance will have their life changed in absolutely incredible ways. Not only have our campers taught me how to pray and talk to God openly, but they have also taught me how to love unconditionally and to freely share my faith with others.
In the ninth chapter of John, Jesus is asked, “Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” and Jesus answers, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned; but this happened so that God’s works might be revealed in him.”
I am so thankful that our Father in heaven has allowed people to be born with what our society calls “disabilities.” It is those people who have the power to positively impact our world and ultimately influence others for Christ. They, to me, are not the disabled. The disabled are people like me who look down on others, who doubt God’s plan for my life, who are afraid to talk about God to others, and who have a hard time being vulnerable to the people around me. It is the population that our society and even our churches so often overlook that took my hand and led me into God’s promises and who have changed my life countless times in unimaginable ways.
Because of my time at camp and the countless hours I’ve spent serving alongside adults with developmental disabilities, I will be attending graduate school in the fall to attain a degree in counseling with a career goal of one day providing counseling services for parents who find out their kids have disabilities—whether it’s when parents find out their child will have an extra chromosome before they’re even born or when a parent starts to notice later on that their child is presenting the signs of autism.
It is my passion and dream to help empower our society to not only accept people with disabilities but also to minister with people with disabilities to help influence people for Christ, one person at a time!
Bailey expresses the joys of servant leadership beautifully in her e-mail, don’t you think? When you serve others, your own heart heals. One of the greatest joys I’ve received is the joy of watching someone else succeed or serving as a lifeline to encourage and inspire another person. Bailey balked at first, but she learned a wonderful lesson while working in that camp. I think it’s a great experience when younger people participate in servant leadership as she did—whether it’s volunteering in a nursing home, working with the disabled, or helping in a shelter.
I encourage you to sow good seeds by serving others. You may find, as Bailey did, that the life you transform is your own.
TEN
Living in Balance
I TRIED TO BRING A SMILE TO THE REVEREND BILLY GRAHAM AT OUR first meeting, but at the age of ninety-two, the famed evangelist had more serious business. He wanted to speak to my heart and soul.
Kanae and I were invited to meet Reverend Graham at his North Carolina mountain home by his evangelist daughter, Anne Graham Lotz, whom I met at a conference in Switzerland in 2011. We were thrilled to receive the invitation, and a month later we made the trip. Our excitement was heightened by the beauty of the drive to the family’s cabin. It was surreal. As we climbed higher and higher into the Blue Ridge Mountains, the blue sky grew more vibrant and vivid with each turn in the road. Heaven seemed within reach.
Maybe it was the elevation and the thin air, but I also began to feel a little anxious, which is unusual for me. The thought of meeting Reverend Graham, my evangelistic role model, was daunting, given his accomplishments and place in history. He has traveled to one hundred eighty-seven nations, served as the spiritual advisor to world leaders, preached to billions of people in person and on television, and led more than three million individuals to accept Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. In the last five years, the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association launched a worldwide television program, and through that venture alone, an additional seven million souls have been added to those numb
ers.
At his last public appearance, the minister known as America’s Pastor spoke to more than 230,000 people. It was planned to be the last of his 418 crusades and was held in 2005 for three days in New York City. In his lifetime, Reverend Graham reached out to the world through many platforms. I especially admired how he called upon Christian churches of all denominations to work together in serving God and His children.
Recently, health problems have limited his public appearances, but Reverend Graham still looms large as an international figure. Someone reminded me that President Obama had driven up this same mountain road to see him just a few months before us. That didn’t help to calm me.
When Reverend Graham welcomed us to his home, I tried to break the ice with a little joke. He did not crack a smile. In fact, he ignored my nervous attempt at humor.
“When Anne told me that you were coming, I was very excited because I’ve been hearing about your ministry,” he said. “The Lord woke me at three this morning to pray for our meeting.”
Anne, who was with us that day, had warned that her father had been ill with pneumonia and other afflictions. She said he might tire easily, and although he appeared frail, when he spoke to us, his voice was strong and very familiar to someone who had so often heard him speak.
Reverend Graham let me know that he saw me as one of the next generation, an heir to his evangelistic mission, and he wanted to prepare me with words of wisdom and encouragement. He said we lived in exciting times, and no matter what adversity we had to go through as evangelists, our job was to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I told him about my travels around the world and even to Muslim countries. He cautioned me not to preach against other religions and not to tell followers of any other religion they were wrong, but instead to “always go in love and respect” and that my only agenda should be to share the gospel.
“Your job is to preach the truth and only the truth of the gospel without targeting certain people or groups,” Reverend Graham said. “The truth is powerful, and it will set hearts free.”
Reverend Graham congratulated Kanae and me on our marriage plans and told us to marry quickly. Then he prayed for our ministry and us. It was a wonderful meeting. Talking to him was like speaking to an Old Testament figure, such as Abraham or Moses, because he has been such a key person in our spiritual lives for so long.
Reverend Graham touched us deeply in his humanity. He humbly reflected on his life while nibbling on chocolate chip cookies. He told us that he misses his wife, Ruth, who passed away in 2007. He said his only regrets were that he hadn’t memorized more Scripture, and in a testament to his faith, Reverend Graham said that he should have spent more time at the feet of Jesus, telling Him how much he loves Him!
I’m sure Reverend Graham has forgotten more Scripture than the rest of us will ever know, and I’m equally certain that he expresses his love for our Lord far more than most. Yet this legendary evangelist, who has also talked about wishing he’d spent more time with his family, wishes he had done even more to show his faith and love of God.
These reflections from one of my major role models inspired me to make adjustments to my ministry now that I am no longer a lone wolf. I already find it difficult to be away from Kanae for more than a day or two. She and I hope to have at least four children, and I want to be there as they grow up.
I also would like to be around a long time for my family, so my plan is to cut back on my traveling. I will be reaching out with my message more through larger venues and larger events, with groups of churches working together and through the media and social networks. Already we have launched a radio program for all ages, and I hope one day to broadcast over the Internet too.
A BALANCED PLAN FOR LIFE
Listening to Reverend Graham reflect on his long and illustrious career as an evangelist caused me to step back and think about what I want to look back on when I reach a similar place in my life. We can easily get caught up in the day-to-day challenges of making a living, overcoming obstacles, dealing with circumstances, and basically surviving that we may neglect relationships, spiritual growth, a deeper understanding of the world, and even our long-term health.
You and I should not live with the expectations that happiness will come some day after we accomplish some goal or acquire some thing. Happiness should be available to you in each moment, and the way to access it is to live in balance spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
One way to determine the balance that works for you is to look toward the end of your life and then live so that you will have no regrets when you arrive there. The idea is to create a clear image of the type of person you want to be as you age and the mark you hope to make, so that every step of your journey takes you closer to where you want to arrive.
I believe if you create the life you want in your imagination, it is possible to create it in reality minute by minute, hour by hour, and day by day. Instead of a business plan or a house plan, consider this your life plan. Some advise that the way to do this is to think about your own funeral and ponder what you would want your family and friends to say about you, your character, your accomplishments, and how you impacted their lives. Maybe that works for you, but I don’t like to think about leaving my loved ones behind—even if I’m going to be with God in heaven.
Instead, I prefer to put myself in Reverend Graham’s position on that day we met in his mountain cabin. Here was this great man nearing the end of a remarkable life in which he’d done so much of God’s work, and he still had a few regrets. It may be inevitable. Few achieve a perfectly balanced life, but I think it’s worth a try. I hope you do too.
I don’t want to have any regrets at all, which may not be possible. But I’m going to do my best. So I’ve reset the Nick lifemeter with the needle on Balance. You might take a moment to do the same if you feel, as I do, that we all need to pause now and then to examine where we’ve been, where we are now, where we want to go, and how to become a person who will be remembered for making a positive difference in the world.
Even without the benefit of legs, I’ve spent most of my twenties running at full speed, which is probably what you’d expect of a young single guy with a global ministry and a business too. I’ve tended to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. With my nonprofit and my business, I’ve borne a lot of responsibility. Reverend Graham advised me to share more of the burden and to enjoy a more balanced life built around my faith and my family. I think God must have been talking through His faithful servant Billy Graham, because I’d also heard that message at the Switzerland conference where I met his daughter.
TAKING THE GLOBAL VIEW
Anne Graham Lotz and I both attended the World Economic Forum (WEF) in Davos in 2011. I was on a panel for the last event of the forum, a session titled “Inspired for a Lifetime.” My fellow panelists were inspiring beyond words. They included the German economist Klaus Schwab, who is founder and chairman of the World Economic Forum, and Christine Lagarde, who was then France’s minister of economic affairs, finances, and industry but shortly thereafter was named to lead the International Monetary Fund. Also on the panel were two young dynamos from the Global Changemakers organization—a global community of young activists, innovators, and entrepreneurs—Daniel Joshua Cullum of New Zealand and Raquel Helen Silva of Brazil.
As others have noted, the World Economic Forum is sometimes characterized unfairly as a very dry meeting in which “gray men in gray suits with gray imaginations get together to schmooze.” In truth, it is a meeting of more than two thousand diverse men and women, most of them leaders in their fields, and the topics cover a wide and fascinating range. Our session was far from dry. In fact, everyone on the panel and in the packed audience had tears in their eyes at one point or another.
Remarkably, I received at least two hugs from Christine Lagarde that day! She was very warm to me and said I inspired her with my work. I’m sure my former professors of financial planning and accounting w
ould have been proud to see their student so kindly treated by the soon-to-be head of the International Monetary Fund. (You can see my presentation on YouTube.com just by searching for my name and “World Economic Forum.” The video of our session is one of the most viewed on the Internet from the 2011 forum.)
Our discussion in Switzerland focused on finding ways to make the world a better place, and we delved into spiritual matters as well. Anne Graham Lotz recalled that the entire forum had a very spiritual element to it, which is unusual. Professor Schwab himself said during the event that answers to the problems the world is facing politically and economically will come from the faith community, in which he included Christians, Muslims, Hindus, and Buddhists.
Anne Graham Lotz later wrote on her website (www.annegrahamlotz.com) that at the forum she “saw Jesus in righteousness and justice, shaking the world’s business and economic leaders by exposing the greed and self-serving interests that have dominated policies for decades. As a result, many leaders now seem open to the need for shared values, and are looking for answers beyond the traditional bastions of power and conventional wisdom. Could God be allowing the world to face problems that seem to have no human solution, so that its leaders will look up? God will give them wisdom, insight, and solutions that are beyond their considerable intellectual knowledge and experience if they will turn to Him.”
Like Anne, I was heartened by the open discussions on the power of faith in action at this gathering of global leaders. Of course, it didn’t escape me that I was a guest speaker at the World Economic Forum just shortly after experiencing my own personal economic crisis. God really does have a sense of humor, doesn’t He?
As I mentioned earlier, I also believe God was trying to deliver a message about leading a more balanced life at the forum, as well as through Reverend Graham at his cabin a few months later. In fact, the message in Davos came from the WEF founder himself. Our panel leader, Professor Schwab, spoke about managing a personal balance sheet, which, unlike a business balance sheet, should show that at the end of your life, you gave out more than you took in. Christine Lagarde, who knows a thing or two about balance sheets, added that even when our lives aren’t in perfect balance, we can make contributions to the lives of others, even if all we have to give is a smile or a kind word.