Ineed to get something from the car,” Rob said. He and Holly were sitting on the front steps leading up to Sean’s house, sipping beer and stealing kisses between sips.” “Want to come with me?”
“Sure.” Holly rose to her feet. Was this it? Going out to the car—and then what? “What do you have to get?”
“I left a joint in the glove compartment,” Rob confided. “Maybe we can take a hit before we bring it back to share with the teeming masses.”
She followed him out to a big black Suburban. “Mom’s SUV,” he explained a little sheepishly. Well, it was sure big enough for whatever anyone might want to do. Rob opened the door for her, and she climbed inside. Then he got into the driver’s seat, reached across her to the glove compartment and got the joint. He lit it with the car’s lighter. “Want a hit?”
“No, thanks.” Holly had smoked pot before, but she didn’t like the woozy way it made her feel. Whatever was going to happen next, she didn’t want to feel woozy. She wanted to feel good, and to remember it.
He took a hit, leaned back, and exhaled. Holly watched the smoke cloud the car and breathed in. Maybe a little bit of second-hand smoke wouldn’t hurt.
Rob put out the joint and stuffed it in a matchbox. Then he stroked Holly’s hair. “You’ve got great hair,” he drawled, a little stoned now. “Really great hair.”
“Thanks.” That seemed to be a popular line with the boys. She waited to see what would happen next. He closed his eyes and moved his face toward hers. His lips missed hers by a half an inch, bumping the bottom of her nose. They laughed, and he opened his eyes.
“Let’s try that again.” He managed to find her lips. He was a surprisingly stiff kisser this time. But maybe it was the weed. Did pot make you a clumsy kisser? Might be something to look into on the Web site.
Maybe it was up to her to do something. She remembered the Cosmo article. What had they suggested? Something about chocolate or whipped cream—not very practical at the moment. What else? Nibble his lips to drive a guy wild. So she started to kiss him more passionately, and he relaxed a little. Then she carefully nipped at his bottom lip. He giggled as if he’d been tickled.
“That’s great,” he murmured. It was working! She nibbled some more. “Mmmm,” he said. “Nick was right.”
What? Nick? Was right about what? She started, midnibble, and bit down a little too hard.
“Ow!” Rob yelped. His hand flew to his lip. It was bleeding. “What was that for?”
“What are you talking about?” Holly demanded. “What did Nick say?”
“Nothing! He just said you were really hot, that’s all.”
“Hot how?”
Rob stared at her, a little afraid. “Have you lost it? You nearly bit my lip off!”
“Hot how?”
“You know, when you’re fooling around and stuff.”
“How would Nick know what I’m like when I’m fooling around?” Holly demanded.
“Well, didn’t you—I mean, he told me—”
“He told you!” Holly couldn’t believe it. Nick was the one who spread the rumors about the two of them at the Christmas party? Those rumors that were one hundred percent lies? And Rob believed them?
And what about Jake? Did Rob believe him, too?
Was that why Rob wanted to be with her? Because of her rep? Because Nick said she’d put out—and everybody else said so, too?
“Do you guys talk about me a lot?” Holly asked. “What else did he tell you?”
Rob looked nervous. “Well, uh, nothing—”
He clammed up because he was scared. And he had good reason to be. Holly was furious.
“You know what? You shouldn’t listen to your friend Nick. He’s a liar. And so is Jake. Maybe you’re all liars!”
She jumped out of the car and ran back to the party. She stopped outside the front door of the house and took a deep breath. No crying. Not at the party. Not until she was safely in her car.
She’d thought he liked her for real. But now she had to wonder.
He’d never seemed to notice her before Mariska’s party—when Jake was saying she’d put out for him, too.
Maybe that was all he wanted. Maybe he was using her! What if she had fooled around with him just now in the car? Would she have ever heard from him again?
21
A Night to Forget
To: linaonme
From: Your daily horoscope
HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CANCER: You’re a very sensitive person. It will come in handy later, when you’re talking about this day in group therapy.
Dude, that was so funny,” Mo said to Barton. Lina and Ramona were sitting on the porch, watching the stoners. “I thought I lost my keys and they—heh heh—were in my pocket the whole time!”
Mo and Barton cracked up. “No way!” Barton said. “They were in your pocket?” He could hardly speak, he was laughing so hard.
“What was I thinking? Stoners must be the most boring people on the planet,” Ramona said. She set down her empty beer bottle. “I’ve had enough. Guess I’ll go home.”
To her surprise, Lina didn’t want Ramona to go home. Not just yet. If Ramona left, what would Lina do?
“You want to come with me?” Ramona asked. “It’s just next door. I could show you the Museum.”
Oh. The Museum of Dan. Lina cringed. “No, that’s okay,” she said. “Maybe some other time.” It was one thing to hang around with Ramona at a party where she hardly knew anybody. It was another thing to look at Ramona’s collection of stuff Dan threw out. That was where she drew the line.
“Suit yourself,” Ramona said. “Have fun with the Normals.” She smirked, walked down the steps, and disappeared in the dark. Lina saw her shadow cross the lighted porch next door. So, Ramona had a house. And parents. And a face under all that makeup. Lina still didn’t want to be friends with her. But somehow, in spite of herself, she thought it might be happening.
“There you are.” Lina found Mads in an upstairs bathroom, lying in the tub. “I’ve been looking all over for you. What happened?”
Mads pressed her cheek against the cool white ceramic, slowly coming to her senses. “Lina,” she sobbed. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Oh, no,” Lina said. “Was that your puke Sean was cleaning up?”
“Uh-huh. I feel awful.” She reached one arm out to Lina. “Help me sit up.”
Sean peeked into the bathroom. “Hey, kid. Are you okay?” He nodded at Lina. “Everything under control here?”
“I think so,” Lina said.
Sean tossed Mads a large white towel. “Here. In case you want to wash up or something.” He disappeared, leaving Lina and Mads alone.
Lina grabbed Mads’ hands and helped her out of the tub. “God, why did Sean have to see me this way?” Mads moaned. Her clothes were rumpled, her hair sticky and stinking of vodka and puke. “I wanted him to notice me, but not like this. Obviously.”
“It’s okay,” Lina said. “Come on, you’ll feel better after you’ve-washed up a little.”
Lina helped Mads wash her face and rinse out her mouth and the sticky strands of her hair. Mads draped a limp arm over Lina’s back and let her head fall on her shoulder, heavy as a rock.
“Where’s Holly?” Mads asked. “I want to go home.”
“She disappeared with Rob a little while ago,” Lina said. “Let’s go find her.”
Downstairs, Holly darted from room to room, searching for her friends. She didn’t want to abandon them, but she couldn’t stand to stay at the party another minute. They found her sitting on the stairs.
“I think we’d better go home, Holly,” Lina said. “Mads isn’t feeling well.”
Holly got to her feet and helped Lina support Mads. “Mads, what’s wrong?”
“Too many screwdrivers,” Lina said. “Let’s go.”
They left the house and started down the steps to the street. Rob burst through the front door and called out, “Holly! Wait!”
Holly star
ted to run down the stone steps. Lina and Mads kept up the best they could.
“Holly, Rob’s calling you,” Lina said.
“I know,” Holly said. She didn’t look back. She knew his lip must be swollen. People would ask him about it—or draw their own conclusions. She wanted to get out of there before more rumors started buzzing.
She found the VW and started it before Mads and Lina had a chance to get in. Mads collapsed onto the back seat, and Lina sat in the front. “What’s wrong, Holly?”
“Nothing. Just total disaster.” She pulled away and they drove in silence down the street. Lina could tell Holly was very upset, and she was afraid to push too hard for information. But Holly started talking again after a block or two. She told Lina what had happened in Rob’s car. Mads sat slumped in the back, eyes closed, listening.
“I was really starting to like him,” Holly said. “He seemed so nice! But he’s just as bad as Jake or any other guy. He thinks I’m a slut! That’s why he wanted to go out with me. Nick told him I’d do whatever! And what really kills me is that’s all made up.”
“I don’t get it,” Mads said. “Everybody thinks you’re sexy. You are sexy. What’s the big deal?”
“Mads, you’re the one who’s always talking about trying to seem older and how cool it is to be sexy,” Holly said. “You and your stupid tips. I was trying to nibble Rob’s lips when I got so upset I ended up biting him! God, I can’t believe I did that.”
“It’s not my fault you bit him too hard,” Mads said.
“This whole thing is your fault!” Holly cried. “You’re the one who wrote ‘Boobmeister Holly’ on that quiz in the first place. That’s what started it all.” Her knuckles went white on the steering wheel. She couldn’t stand feeling so out of control.
Mads started crying. She’d never seen Holly this angry before. Lina sat quietly, trying to piece it all together. Holly always seemed so strong, as if nothing ever got to her. But now it was pretty clear that all the teasing and the talk really hurt her.
“Mads didn’t mean to start rumors about you,” Lina said. “She didn’t know Autumn would post the quiz on her blog, and the whole thing would below up in our faces. Mads was just goofing around and you know it.”
Holly felt bad. She knew it wasn’t Mads’ fault, but sometimes Mads did such stupid things… “I know. I’m sorry, Mads. I’m just so…I can’t stand it! I hate the way people talk about me, the way they look at me. I can’t stand that I have no control over how people think of me, no matter what I do, all they ever see is my tits! You should be glad you’re such a little pipsqueak, Mads. It’s better than being treated like a blow-up sex doll.”
“Can I have some Kleenex?” Mads reached over the front seat, hand out. Lina stuck a wad of tissues in it. “Thanks.” Mads blew her nose.
“I didn’t want to hurt you, Holly. I thought you kind of liked it when I teased you.”
“I know. I do. Sort of.”
“From now on I’ll only talk to you or about you as if you are some kind of very serious nuclear physicist.”
“That’s okay, Mads. You can tease me. But you know, this whole experience thing is such a scam. Nobody at school is as experienced as they say they are. They’re all full of it. Like Jake. And you should have seen Rob tonight. Mr. Cool. Your dog Boris kisses better than he does.”
“But what about Sean?” Mads said. “He said I wasn’t experienced enough! I still think that’s why he won’t go out with me.”
“Well, now he’s got an even better reason,” Lina said.
Mads leaned back against the seat, still a little drunk. Holly was right. Mads could finally see it now. Everybody pretended to know what they were doing. But nobody knew anything. Half the answers to the Dating Game questionnaires were made up. Even Alex…maybe the reason he couldn’t wait to run off and get a hamburger was because he wasn’t sure of himself with her. With her! And what about Sean? How experienced was he?
Sean. God, why did she have to get sick at his house of all places?
“You know, he came into the bathroom and asked if I was okay,” she said. In her memory that moment became something intimate between them, even though Lina was there. “He gave me a towel and said, ‘Are you okay?’ I think that shows he cares about me! He could have just left me there.”
Holly knocked her forehead on the top of the steering wheel. This was too pathetic.
“Mads, you are so deluded,” Holly said. “Just because he didn’t want you to mess up his mom’s bedroom—” She gave up, knowing it was hopeless. Mads clung to the dream of Sean the way some people played the lottery. It was a long shot, but she couldn’t let go as long as the chance was there.
“At least he’ll really remember me now,” Mads said.
“Yeah, every time he sees the stain on his mother’s rug,” Holly said.
“Maybe you should keep your distance from him for a little while,” Lina suggested. “You know, so he won’t associate you with being sick. Let the memory fade a little.”
“If it ever will,” Holly said. “It’s really hard to get the vomit smell out of a rug.”
Mads clutched her head in her hands. “You guys! You’re not helping!”
“All right, Mads,” Holly said. “One day, when you and Sean are married and looking back at your wacky teen years, you’ll laugh about this.”
“Ah.” Mads closed her eyes and let the image sink in. It was their fiftieth wedding anniversary and their mansion was filled with visiting grandchildren. Sean was telling them all the funny story about how Grandma ruined Great-Grandma’s swirly white rug. “That’s much better.”
“Lina, what did you do while Mads and I battled it out for the title of Drama Queen?” Holly asked.
“I saw Ramona without her makeup,” Lina said.
“She was there?” Mads said. “How did she get invited?”
“She lives next door.”
“How did she look without all that gunk?” Holly asked.
“Normal,” Lina said.
22
So Long, Boobmeister
To: hollygolitely
From: Your daily horoscope
HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CAPRICORN: Sure, you’re bombarded with junk, but you’ve got to learn to sift through it carefully so you don’t miss the gold. Someone is trying to get through to you, but you keep mistaking his e-mails for spam.
To: hollygolitely
From: flappie
Re: please don’t delete me!
Holly—I’m really sorry I upset you. I didn’t mean to, I swear! I want to see you again. I know Nick’s a big liar and I don’t care what anybody says about you—I think you are so cool. I told everybody at the party that you punched me in the lip when I tried to kiss you. They were all saying what a big prude you are. Pretty fickle crowd. My lip’s already healing and anyway I don’t care about that. I just want to see you again. Please? Can we meet for coffee after school on Friday and talk? Maybe dinner or a movie after that, if you feel like it? Say yes!
—Rob.
“I scanned it for sarcasm and insincerity,” Holly said. She was sitting with Lina and Mads at Vineland after school on Wednesday, dissecting Rob’s e-mail for the tenth time that week. “I think it was clean.”
“So what are you going to do?” Mads asked.
“I don’t know. It’s hard for me to trust him after Jake.”
“Holly, do you like him?” Lina asked.
Holly looked as if she’d been stuck with a needle. “I think so. Which sucks.”
“No, it’s a good thing,” Lina reminded her. “Try to keep that in mind.”
“The question is, does he really like me?”
Lina grinned at Mads and gave Holly a piece of paper. “You walked right into our little scheme,” she said.
“What’s this?”
“It’s a quiz,” Mads said. “Lina and I wrote it just for you.”
Does He Really Like You?
for Holly by Lina and Mads
r /> 1. Someone is spreading nasty rumors about you at a party. You leave the room. Your special guy:
a _ Doesn’t move
b _ Adds to the rumors
c _ Follows you out of the room to see if you’re okay
2. You spot him sitting with friends in the school library. He:
a _ Ignores you
b _ Gives you a half-hearted nod
c _ Smiles at you and waves
3. A school dance is coming up. He:
a _ Asks another girl to be his date
b _ Doesn’t ask you but figures he’ll see you there
c _ Asks you to go with him
4. At the dance, a jerk tries to embarrass you. Your date:
a _ Leaves you in disgrace
b _ Pretends it never happened
c _ Stands by you and takes you out for milkshakes later
5. While making out in his car, you accidentally bite his lip. He:
a _ Never wants to talk to you again
b _ Tells everyone at the party what a crazy bitch you are
c _ Runs after you, tries to stop you from leaving, and immediately e-mails you, begging to see you again
Answer Key: If you answered c to these questions (and you better have!), the situation is clear: Rob really likes you!
Holly laughed. “Thanks, you guys. It’s weird to see your life in quiz form. But very revealing.”
“We just think you shouldn’t be afraid,” Mads said.
“All right,” Holly said. “I will take a chance on Rob. That’s settled. Anything else up for discussion?”
“I got something in the mail from Sean!” Mads waved another piece of paper in front of them. Lina snatched it.
“This is a bill from a carpet-cleaning service,” she said. “Seventy-five dollars.”
“I know.” Mads took it back and carefully replaced it in its envelope. “I’ll treasure it forever.”
“Are you going to pay it?” Holly asked.
“No,” Mads said. “If I paid it, I’d have to send it back to the carpet cleaners. And I want to keep it.”