“What’s a little lie when the love of your life is at stake?”
“The love of your life?” Mads stared at him, not understanding. She still couldn’t accept that Sean Benedetto wasn’t going to show up.
Gilbert reached for her hand. She snatched it away.
“Madison Markowitz, you are the prettiest girl in the whole school. The town. The state of California. The good old U.S. of A. The Western Hemisphere. The—”
“Stop! I get it,” Mads snapped.
“The universe,” Gilbert finished. “And I’m gazoygle about you.”
Mads squinted at him. “Gazoygle? What does that mean?”
“It’s Blastoph—a special alien language I made up myself. It means I’m crazy about you.”
“Does your special alien language have a word for ‘Get lost’?” Mads asked. “Or ‘Leave me alone’?”
“Of course,” Gilbert said. “But those are phrases, not words.” He reached for her hand again. Mads sat on both her hands to keep them from veering into his air space.
“I understand—this is a big surprise,” Gilbert said. “I’ll go to the counter and get us something. What would you like? They have cupcakes with jelly beans on them.”
“I would like you to go away,” Mads said. “I’m not having a date with you.”
“You have to,” Gilbert said. “You fixed yourself up with me. And anyway, what about your project? You have to report on our date.”
“Who says? You lied on your form, so it doesn’t count.” Mads’ eyes frantically darted around the room. Who was there? Who saw her talking to Gilbert? Sitting at a table with him? On a date with him!
This was exactly the opposite of what Mads was hoping to accomplish. She wanted experience. She wanted a more mature image. She wanted Sean. She was not going to get any of those things from dating a geeky twelve-year-old. Just being seen with him would nuke her rep back to the Stone Age.
“You—you made yourself sound like a totally different person,” Mads said. “How could you do that?”
“I used Sean Benedetto as a model,” Gilbert admitted. “I mean, why not? Girls like him. It seemed like the best way to get a date.”
“It’s wrong!” Mads said. She got up from the table before someone she knew walked in and spotted her.” And I won’t go on a date with a liar! Under false pretenses! Et cetera!”
She stormed out of the café, tripping over a rug in her high heels. She could call her mother to come pick her up, but she didn’t want to wait, and her house wasn’t too far away. So she walked all the way home in her heels, tears and black makeup streaming down her cheeks.
mad4U: total disaster! my date wasn’t sean. who do you think it was? imagine the worst person possible.
linaonme: hitler?
mad4U: no, doofus, someone who goes to rosewood. yucky gilbert!
mad4U: hollygolitely???
hollygolitely: oh my god.
mad4U: he totally lied. i stormed out of there and walked home and now i have a wicked blister on my heel.
linaonme: I hope our dates don’t turn out like that.
mad4u: thanx a lot.
linaome: if they suck I’m blaming you, holly.
hollygolitely: I can’t guarantee another gilbert won’t show up. But I’ve done my best to weed out the dregs. I try to give you the finest service for your matchmaking dollar.
linaonme: maybe we’d better double. That way, at least we’ll suffer together. I mean, I know you think jake soros is going to show up but mads’ sad story proves that you never know. If your date turns out to be a lying geek you’ll be glad I’m there.
hollygolitely: ok. We’ll double for the first date.
mad4u: I hate being the guinea pig.
linaonme: maybe there’s a way we can weed out the geeks.
mad4u: a geek quiz. I think I have enough experience in this area to work up a few questions. It probably won’t weed them out but we could post it on our site as a public service, so geeks can identify themselves and get help.
hollygolitely: go to it.
Quiz: Are You a Geek?
We suspect that you know who you are. But if there’s any question, take this quiz and find out your true geek status.
1. The first thing you do when you wake up in the morning is:
a _ Brush your teeth
b _ Check your e-mail
c _ Dig into a 3-day-old pizza you found under your bed
d _ Step on your glasses by accident, then try to fix them with black electrical tape
2. When getting dressed for school, you:
a _ Call your friends to see what they’re wearing
b _ Put on the carefully chosen outfit you laid out the night before
c _ Put on the first thing you trip over on the floor
d _ Dust off your Star Trek costume
3. The first thing people notice about you is:
a _ Your bright smile
b _ Your fashion sense
c _ Your odd haircut
d _ A funny smell
4. Your favorite subject in school is:
a _ Gym
b _ English
c _ Science
d _ Math
5. Your idea of the perfect evening is:
a _ Dinner and a movie with someone cute
b _ Hanging with your friends
c _ Doing a jigsaw puzzle with your mother
d _ You, your computer, and a box of Hostess cupcakes
6. When you grow up, you want to be:
a _ A movie star
b _ A doctor
c _ A computer-game inventor
d _ Frodo
Scoring: mostly a’s: Geek-Free
mostly b’s: Touch O’ Geek
mostly c’s: Major Geek Tendencies
mostly d’s: Total Geekosity
I hope every geek at RSAGE takes this quiz and reforms, Mads thought. Assuming reform was possible. Mads couldn’t imagine the treatment required to make Gilbert geek-free. But that wasn’t her problem anymore. All she knew was she never wanted to go on another date like that again.
7
Prove That You’re a Human
To: linaonme
From: Your daily horoscope
HERE IS TODAY’s HOROSCOPE: CANCER: You’re oh-so-sensitive and often think your friends don’t understand you. But maybe they do understand you. Maybe you are crazy. Feel better now?
I’m so glad we decided to do this together. I could never go through with it by myself,” Lina said. Holly parked in front of Zola’s, a bustling seafood cafe near the Carlton Bay Marina. It was Saturday night, time to find out the true identities of “striker” and “hot-t.” She stared through the restaurant windows as if they’d offer her a clue.
“Sure you could,” Holly said. “You just didn’t want to.”
That was true. Lina didn’t know who hot-t was, but the one thing she did know about him—that he wasn’t Dan—left her pretty much not interested.
Holly reached for the door, but Lina grabbed her arm. “Let’s make a pact,” Lina said. “If one of us is unhappy and wants to leave, we’ll say, ‘I’ve got a terrible headache.’”
“That sounds too fake,” Holly said.
“How about I take my cell phone out and say ’mom is text-messaging me that the house just blew up and I have to go home right away’?”
“Too dramatic,” Holly said. “Why don’t we just say we’re getting a call and we have to take it? Then the miserable girl—and it already looks like it’s going to be you, from your bad attitude—steps away and the other girl goes to see what’s wrong and we tell the boys there’s some kind of family crisis. Okay?”
“Okay.” She took a deep breath and opened the door. “Let’s go.”
They walked into the cafe. Holly spotted Jake right away—stocky, muscular, black hair trimmed close to his rather big head—sitting at the counter with a familiar-looking guy. “That must be them,” she said.
She led the way, Lina
following. Lina tried to get a handle on her date. He swiveled around in his seat as they approached. He was taller than she was—good start. Maybe a little too thin. Medium-brown dreadlocks cinched in a neat knot behind his head, tied with a red cord. Pale-brown skin, almost beige, and green eyes. She had to admit he was pretty cute.
“Which one of you is striker?” Holly asked.
Jake waved. “I am. My real name is Jake Soros.” As if she didn’t know. He nodded at the guy next to him. “I recognized this dude from school. Turns out he’s meeting a blind date, too.”
“That’s me,” Lina said. “Lina Ozu.”
“I’m Walker Moore,” Lina’s date said. Walker Moore—the name sounded familiar. She’d seen him around school of course, but there was something else. …
“And I’m Holly Anderson.” They sounded like a bunch of news anchors soberly identifying themselves.
Jake stood up and said, “Let’s get a table.”
Holly followed Jake to a corner table. The cafe bustled. Holly felt excited. She’d been to parties and dances with boys, had meals with them, but hadn’t been on a lot of real, honest-to-god dates. This felt like a real date.
They sat down, and Lina realized how she knew Walker’s name. “Hey,” she asked. “Do you write for the Seer?” The Rosewood Seer was the school’s student newspaper.
“Sports,” he said. “That’s how I know Jake.” Jake, star of the soccer team, was regularly featured on the Seer’s sports page.
Lina liked that Walker wrote for the paper. But she still couldn’t help wondering, if he was such a great guy, why did he choose “hot-t” for a screen name? It seemed kind of conceited.
A waiter arrived to take their orders. The menu was printed on the paper placemats. “I tried to order a beer at the counter but they wouldn’t serve me,” Jake said after the waiter left.
“We can get some after dinner if we feel like it,” Walker said. “I’ve got a fridge-full at my house.”
After dinner? Just how long was this date going to last? Lina wondered.
“So, you write about sports?” Holly asked. “Lina writes, too.”
“That’s cool,” Walker said. “What do you write?”
“Mostly poetry and stories and stuff,” Lina said.
“I hate to write,” Jake said. “It was all I could do just to check the boxes on that dating quiz you made up.”
“Did you like the quiz?” Holly asked.
“Yeah, it was fun,” Jake said. “RSAGE is a pretty big school. There are lots of cute girls I never met before.” He grinned at Holly and tapped her foot with his under the table.
Holly felt warm. He liked her! She’d watched him play every home game this year and last. Maybe he didn’t look like much just sitting across the table from her—although he was cute, with his black fuzz for hair and even some stubble on his chin. Manly. He seemed older than his years. You could see it on the field, with his powerfully-built body and amazing speed. He was captain. The team followed him, and he really led them. Something about that got to Holly.
“You guys should have made the championships last year,” Walker said. “Mill Valley was fouling all over the place and the refs never called it!”
“Tell me about it,” Jake said. “Those refs all live in Mill Valley. I think we’ll make it next year, though. The freshman squad has some good guys coming up.”
The food smelled good: fried fish sandwiches and steaming bowls of chowder. Jake smiled at Holly and tapped her foot under the table again. They all started eating. The table was silent until Jake said to Walker, “Have you seen this guy Freddy Adu play soccer? He’s our age and he’s already a pro …”
Holly glanced at Lina. They sat quietly listening until they got bored. It looked as if the soccer conversation was not ending anytime soon. So they entertained themselves by analyzing the latest posting on “Nuclear Autumn.” Apparently Autumn’s dad was dating a twenty-four-year-old and Autumn was planning to sabotage it.
I should never have let Lina talk me into double-dating, Holly thought. The boys were paying more attention to each other than to the girls.
The check came and the boys paid it. Lina and Holly offered to split it but the boys refused. Finally they were acting as if they were on a date.
“What do you guys want to do now?” Jake asked. “It’s still early.”
“Why don’t we go hang at my house?” Walker asked. “My mom’s cool and we’ll have the garage to ourselves.”
Maybe things will pick up at Walker’s house, Holly thought. Sometimes boys didn’t feel comfortable in restaurants—all that sitting in chairs and keeping their shirts tucked in was hard for them. But they’d relax at Walker’s. And who knew where things could go from there?
Lina pulled her cell phone out of her purse. “It’s on vibrate,” she lied, glancing at the screen as if to see who was calling. “Oh god, my mom’s texting me. Our house exploded!”
“What?” Walker cried.
“She’s just joking,” Holly said, and Lina threw her a dirty look.
“Whoa!” Lina cried, staring at the screen. “My parents are being held hostage by a crazed gunman! I’d better get home!”
“Ha ha,” Holly said. “Isn’t she hilarious?”
Lina frowned. “But seriously, my mom is calling, and she wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important,” she said, getting up from her chair. “I’ll just go take this over there.” She walked toward the bathroom.
“I’ll be right back,” Holly said, following her.
“What’s with you?” Holly asked as Lina stuffed her phone back into her purse.
“Do you really want to go to Walker’s house?” Lina asked. “I’d like to cut things short tonight.”
“Come on, Lina, don’t punk out on me,” Holly said.
“Walker’s okay but I’m just not clicking with him.”
“You’re not trying,” Holly said. “Jake keeps playing footsie with me under the table. Please, Lina. I just want to see where things go with him tonight. He’s so … powerful.”
Lina rolled her eyes. “What am I going to do while you guys are playing footsie?”
“Talk to Walker! He’s a nice guy. And he writes!”
“About sports. Not really my thing. Except for field hockey. Which he probably doesn’t even care about.”
“Maybe he has a secret sensitive side you can discover at his house. I’m sure he does! All boys have them.”
“How do you know?”
“I read it in Seventeen. Which, as Mads will tell you, is the source of all truth. Please, Lina? Do this for me? Just this once?”
“All right. I’m only doing it for you. This once.”
“Thank you, thank you! I owe you one.”
The boys stood by the front door, waiting for them.
“All set?” Jake asked. “So, you want to go over to Walker’s?”
“Sounds great,” Holly said. “I’ll follow you in my car.”
Walker lived a couple of miles away in a modern hillside house. Walker’s mom greeted them in the kitchen in her bathrobe, ready for bed.
“If you need anything, just rummage around,” she said. “The kitchen’s pretty well-stocked. Well, good-night, honey.” She squeezed Walker’s cheeks together with one hand and kissed him. He made a face but underneath the smirk was a smile. “Don’t stay up too late. And don’t wake your brothers.”
“We Won’t,” Walker promised.
“Wow, your mom goes to bed early,” Jake said. It was 9:30.
“Yeah. She has to get up early for work,” Walker said.
He grabbed a bowl of chips and led the way to a garage that had been converted to a rec room. “There’s another fridge in there where Mom keeps all the beer,” he said.
The garage was carpeted and had a big leather couch, a loveseat, a flat-screen TV, a great sound system, remotecontrol lighting, and a bar. Holly sat down on the loveseat. Lina plopped down beside her. Holly gave her a dirty look, but Jake saved the day
. “Why don’t you sit over here next to me, Holly?” he asked, patting the empty spot beside him on the couch.
Holly moved over to the couch. She was nervous. Did he really like her? After all, he hadn’t asked her out. She’d fixed herself up with him. And a little voice in the back of her mind said, What if? What if to him you’re just Boobmeister Holly, the girl with the supertits who bagged Nick Henin? Stupid voice. She squelched it. Those little voices weren’t always right, anyway.
Walker put on some music and opened a beer for each of them. Holly sipped hers, grateful for something to do with her hands. Lina put hers down on the coffee table, untouched.
“Don’t you like beer?” Walker asked. “We’ve got wine, too, or vodka and stuff if you want.”
“That’s okay,” Lina said. “I like beer. I’m just not in a beery mood right now.”
She hated the sound of her own voice as she heard it speak the words. Why was she being such a priss? She wasn’t always like this with boys, but that night it was as if her body was possessed by the chilly spirit of her mother. Lina had always vowed not to be like her mother, but here she was, snippily refusing drinks and spoiling everyone’s night.
What was Lina’s problem? Holly wondered. She was acting like Princess Buzzkill. Walker was cute and nice … just because he wasn’t their damn teacher …
Walker dimmed the lights and sat beside Lina on the loveseat. The music was loud, thank god, Lina thought. Because she had no idea what to talk about. And nobody else seemed to, either. It was a little awkward. Holly crossed her legs and bounced her foot to the beat of the music.
Jake did the whole yawn-and-put-your-arm-around-the-girl thing. Holly smiled. “Like that move?” he asked.
“Smooth,” she said.
He pulled her close and kissed her on the lips a little tentatively, as if he couldn’t quite remember how that kissing thing worked. Holly was surprised. Jake looked like a take-charge kind of guy when it came to girls. But who knew? Maybe this was a tactic to put her off-guard. Anyway it was a start. Holly wished she could have brushed her teeth after dinner. She could still taste the clam chowder on her tongue. Ick.
Just go for it, she told herself. She kissed him back shyly. The stubble around his mouth felt rough. Holly had never kissed a guy with so much beard before.