MARRYATT-SMITH

  Ceramics we’ve talked about. Modern British. Nothing there, Francis? Printed Books. No? Furniture and Carpets. Toby? No? I could have stayed in Mumbai. Old Master Drawings. Jelley?

  There is a very definite silence.

  I thought we were a little depleted. Too much to hope that Jelley would occasionally vouchsafe us with his presence. What’s the state of play on the catalogue?

  DUNLOP

  His proofs are three days overdue as it is.

  CRESSWELL

  One of these days we’ll go into a sale and there won’t be a catalogue.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  You paint a nightmare picture, Nigel. Still, scallywag though he is we’re very lucky to have him. Jelley is a little bit of a genius. Well, I think that’s all apart from the Old Masters next week. Since sterling is still suffering from a certain morbidezza one is hopeful of a few records tumbling. The Rembrandt naturally. I know a question mark hangs over it, but it is only a question mark, and I’m utterly convinced. And of course Rembrandt as we all know is in the melting pot. Even my beloved Polish Rider has been unhorsed. It’s a beautiful picture and it would be nice to get a beautiful price. Chloe. How is the publicity? Nice if we could get some coverage on the old telly box. Last time one felt a little under-exposed.

  CHLOE

  The sale did clash with the royal wedding.

  CRESSWELL

  No contest in my opinion.

  CHLOE

  Record-breaking sales are losing their novelty.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Oh are they? Why? Famines don’t lose their novelty. All those terrible children. Never off our screen. Publicity is vulgar, I know that, but that’s how we get the business. You see, Chloe, the fewer collections we get, the fewer collections we get. Nobody wants to fuck somebody nobody wants to fuck. I’m sorry to have to use that word, Chloe, but unless you buck your ideas up it is a word you will find I shall be using more and more. Charm, Chloe, that’s what it’s about.

  He gets up, indicating that the meeting is ending.

  Pity the Arabs are such a tasteless lot. The Saudis. All those marble walls going up in the middle of the desert. Walls aching for pictures. Tables begging for bibelots. Incidentally, Saudi … Sow or Saw?

  DUNLOP

  Sow. Sowdi.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Well at least I’ve learned something. To your barrows, gentlemen. Let’s get the stuff shifted.

  CRESSWELL

  Mumbai isn’t leaving us a tad overexposed?

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  What gives you that idea? (Dunlop, plainly.) And if we were, the Rembrandt will see to that.

  Vanessa comes in and whispers something.

  Oh good. Excellent. Have the picture brought up.

  As the meeting breaks up Jelley appears, a fat, disorganised and likeable man holding a bulging file under his arm.

  Ah, Jelley. Do you come bearing proofs?

  JELLEY

  Proofs. No. I mean, yes. I’m nearly through. It’s just that I got interested in the background of something …

  CRESSWELL

  We’re waiting to go to press …

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Don’t, Jelley. Don’t get interested. Barrow-boys, Jelley. Barrow-boys.

  JELLEY

  Barrow-boys?

  We follow Marryatt-Smith as he strides through his empire, accompanied by Cresswell.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  I’m sure everything you say about Moberley is true but he has done Trojan service. And he adds colour. He caters to a certain rather naive, by which I suppose I mean American, view of what we are ‘about’. Something you might do is read the Riot Act to Jelley.

  CRESSWELL

  That means I have to go into his room.

  Marryatt-Smith pulls a sympathetic face and goes on.

  INT. GARRARD’S, STOCKROOM – DAY

  Chris and Ollie are still waiting at the counter, when the phone rings. A handful of other porters wait with them.

  STOREMAN

  As you were. Mr Moberley wants you upstairs.

  Chris and Ollie get back in the lift.

  INT. GARRARD’S, MARRYATT-SMITH’S ROOM – DAY

  Looking out of the window is Steiner, an American with a trace of a foreign accent. A big man, he looks like a butcher, which he is, the millionaire owner of a chain of meat-packers and canneries. He is accompanied by Norman, his accountant, also American, but not so big.

  VANESSA

  Can I get you anything? Coffee? Sherry?

  Steiner shakes his head, takes down an art book from the bookcase and idly flips through it.

  NORMAN

  Max. Why are we here? Is it business or pleasure? Which hat am I wearing? Is it the museum or the slaughterhouse?

  STEINER

  (sweetly because Vanessa is still in the room)

  You take your hat off, Norman.

  She goes.

  NORMAN

  I fuck take my hat off. You are broke, Max. That is my duty to tell you.

  STEINER

  Norman. I just bought a factory.

  NORMAN

  We don’t have the money.

  STEINER

  We have it if they think we have it. We need the picture. The picture is part of the strategy. The picture is part of the picture.

  NORMAN

  It’s not deductible.

  STEINER

  The deduction is peanuts anyway.

  NORMAN

  They don’t have deductions here. Gift it to a museum, you get nothing. Art’s been around too long. The uplift factor is nil, virtually. So … no deduction. What is this picture?

  STEINER

  It’s a Rembrandt. Maybe.

  NORMAN

  Maybe? Jesus. So why do we buy it?

  STEINER

  Maybe we don’t. Maybe we let them buy it for us.

  INT. GARRARD’S, HOIST – DAY

  Moberley, Chris and Ollie in the hoist, all in white gloves, bringing up the Rembrandt. And, it being a Rembrandt, there’s a security man with them.

  INT. GARRARD’S, MARRYATT-SMITH’S ROOM – DAY

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  You’ve been offered sherry, I hope, No? And I can’t tempt you to some Malvern water? Shopping?

  STEINER

  So far as Norman allows me to.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  I’d heard you were here.

  NORMAN

  Yes?

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  You were in Agnews, I’m told. Looking at their Bassano. Nice little picture. A trifle shop-soiled now, I would have thought. Did you like it?

  STEINER

  I don’t go in for crucifixions much.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Oh?

  And the note is ‘You don’t know what you’re missing’.

  STEINER

  I saw one once. A real one.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Oh dear. That would be in Europe, I take it. They tend not to happen here.

  There is a knock at the door.

  Moberley comes in with Chris and Ollie carrying the Rembrandt.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  That face. How well one knows it.

  Steiner looks at the Rembrandt.

  How’s the museum?

  STEINER

  Good, good. It’s doing good.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  On schedule?

  NORMAN

  It had better be.

  STEINER

  What do you think, Norman?

  NORMAN

  How much?

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Who knows. Fifty. Sixty. A hundred.

  NORMAN

  Fifty million. Dollars or pounds?

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Pounds, naturally.

  CHRIS

  (under his breath but loud enough for Norman to hear)

  That includes the frame.

  STEINER

  I can remember t
he time when you were embarrassed to talk money in England. And it made a change. Now, you are not embarrassed. Here is the same as everywhere else. Money.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Progress.

  NORMAN

  Is that a hair? (He peels it off the painting.) Mind if I take it?

  STEINER

  Norman, Norman.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  (with a pained smile)

  No, please. Compliments of the house.

  NORMAN

  Felicia is a sucker for that sort of thing.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  How is butchery? You bought a cannery yesterday.

  STEINER

  Did I? Did I, Norman?

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  The FT says you did.

  Marryatt-Smith nods and Moberley and the boys leave.

  NORMAN

  I have to tell you, Max we don’t have that kind of money right now.

  STEINER

  In which pocket?

  NORMAN

  In any pocket.

  STEINER

  Such a pity.

  NORMAN

  You’re going to have to pass this one up.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Really? Oh dear.

  STEINER

  A record price would do you no harm, right?

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Of course.

  STEINER

  It would put paid to the rumours.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Rumours?

  STEINER

  About the painting. And last year’s drop in profits.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Newspaper talk. But tell me, I’m all in favour of a record price but why should you want to pay more than you have to?

  STEINER

  Come. A record price suits us just as much as it suits you. Puts the museum on the map. Impresses the … punters?

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  It’s difficult at the moment. What arrangements were you thinking of?

  STEINER

  An advance on the purchase price paid back over a specified period. Guarantee of authenticity or return of goods. You’ve done it before.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Have we?

  NORMAN

  (to Steiner)

  It’s the only way we can do it as of this moment. Otherwise you’re going to have to walk away.

  Steiner looks at Marryatt-Smith and shrugs helplessly.

  INT. GARRARD’S, CORRIDOR PASSING THE VALUATION DEPARTMENT

  Chris and Ollie (and the security man) carry the painting back towards the main room and we leave them as they pass by the valuation department.

  INT. GARRARD’S, VALUATION DEPARTMENT – DAY

  Here various clients are waiting to have estimates put on their possessions. Some have pictures, others porcelain wrapped in newspaper. The atmosphere is not unlike that of a doctor’s waiting room, though here there tends to be just one disease, avarice.

  Two staff are on duty: Cresswell, whom we have already seen and disliked, and Veronica Cavendish, a big, decent upper-class girl.

  Some of the ensuing dialogue is background or half heard as the camera concentrates increasingly on Efrem Beck, a shabby, overcoated figure with a briefcase. He is in his sixties, and though unprepossessing in appearance he is scornful, knowledgeable and obviously impatient. Cresswell is dealing with a Woman who has brought in a miniature.

  WOMAN

  It’s been in the family a long time. It was always said to be my great-grandfather.

  CRESSWELL

  And was he anybody of interest? A politician. A builder of railways? What did he do?

  WOMAN

  I believe he had a draper’s shop.

  BECK

  (audibly)

  It’s rubbish!

  Veronica has now finished with her client. She takes a deep breath.

  VERONICA

  Mr Beck. Good morning. What have you got for us today?

  Beck takes out a small unframed painting.

  Would you like us to sell this for you?

  BECK

  Maybe. That depends on what you think it is.

  Cresswell, while dealing with his own drab customer, has been eavesdropping. He now intervenes.

  CRESSWELL

  Mr Beck. If you don’t want us to sell your pictures why do you keep bringing them in?

  BECK

  I’m sorry. Was I dealing with you? I thought I was talking to this very civil young lady here. Did you see my pictures?

  He has taken an album of photographs out of his bag.

  VERONICA

  (kindly)

  I have, yes.

  Beck flicks through.

  Yes, yes …

  We move away from them as Veronica patiently looks through the photographs in Beck’s album, a polite smile on her face.

  Cut to:

  Chris coming from the stockroom and arriving in the valuation department, where Beck is still talking to Veronica. Chris waits in the background.

  BECK

  OK. So you don’t believe. But you’re a nice young woman. Now I show you something you haven’t seen.

  He turns to the back of the book and takes out a photograph. It is a photograph of a page of drawings, studies of various hands, grouped around a larger drawing, that of a hand with a ring on the finger. We see Veronica’s own hand stray across the photograph and touch the central hand.

  VERONICA

  No. I haven’t seen this. What is it?

  BECK

  ‘What is this? What is this?’ Always ‘What is this?’ Look with the eyes, young woman. Trust your judgement. What does it look like?

  VERONICA

  I know what it looks like … but a photograph of a drawing … it’s very hard.

  BECK

  I know, I know.

  CRESSWELL

  Need any help?

  BECK

  No.

  CRESSWELL

  Next.

  VERONICA

  Can I take it away a moment and show it to somebody?

  BECK

  Who?

  VERONICA

  Mr Marryatt-Smith.

  BECK

  The Chairman? What does he know? He’s just a Mickey Mouse.

  VERONICA

  I don’t know if Mr Jelley is in.

  BECK

  Ah, Mr Jelley. Yes. Show it to Mr Jelley. I will come with you.

  VERONICA

  No. I’m sure Mr Jelley will come down.

  Beck gives the photograph to Veronica and we follow her out of the room and upstairs, up a side staircase where she knocks at a door. No reply, so she goes in.

  INT. GARRARD’S, JELLEY’S ROOM – DAY

  The room is incredibly untidy.

  VERONICA

  Brian.

  JELLEY

  (out of view)

  Out. Busy.

  VERONICA

  Brian. Can I just try something on you?

  JELLEY

  (out of view)

  No. Out, darling. Get shot otherwise. Seriously.

  Jelley actually does emerge, proofs in hand and eating, but Veronica has gone. She goes back down the stairs and runs into Moberley in the corridor.

  VERONICA

  Mr Moberley. Have you any thoughts about this? Does it ring any bells?

  Moberley looks at the photograph.

  Has it been through the rooms before?

  MOBERLEY

  Who’s the vendor?

  VERONICA

  Nobody. He’s not really selling. (Shamefacedly.) Mr Beck.

  Moberley groans and shakes his head. He pats her arm.

  MOBERLEY

  Ask him to bring in the drawing.

  VERONICA

  He won’t. You know what he’s like.

  MOBERLEY

  Just tell him ‘Yes, it is Michelangelo’, that he’s got hold of another masterpiece and say you don’t know how he does it.

  He goes back into his office, s
haking his head, as Veronica heads back to the counter then changes her mind and heads for Marryatt-Smith’s office.

  INT. GARRARD’S, MARRYATT-SMITH’S ROOM – DAY

  Steiner is just leaving, ushered out by Marryatt-Smith.

  STEINER

  I know the way out.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  No, no. We lose more clients that way. Go in, Veronica. I shall return.

  Veronica goes in and we perhaps just glimpse her looking along the bookshelves and taking down a large tome on Michelangelo.

  INT. GARRARD’S, ENTRANCE – DAY

  Marryatt-Smith leaves Steiner in the entrance hall and turns back.

  DUNLOP

  God, he looks a ruffian.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  He is. But we mustn’t look for virtue among the collectors of art. As soon look for intellect among the lovers of opera.

  INT. GARRARD’S, VALUATION DEPARTMENT – DAY

  Valuation desk. Marryatt-Smith is passing through, having taken Steiner to the door. Cresswell is dealing with a Vicar.

  VICAR

  Somebody said Stubbs.

  CRESSWELL

  They would.

  VICAR

  Just off the top of their head.

  Beck is hovering near to the conversation trying to get a glimpse of the item. Marryatt-Smith notes him and hurries on to his room.

  INT. GERRARD’S, MARRYATT-SMITH’S ROOM – DAY

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  (looking at the photograph)

  No. No, no, no, no. Of course if it were we could shut up shop and buy that villa in Tuscany. Or why stop at a villa. Buy Tuscany.

  VERONICA

  It seemed too good to be true.

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  Yes. I glimpsed Mr Beck downstairs. This isn’t one of his?

  Veronica smiles apologetically.

  Oh, Veronica, Veronica. You know Mr Beck.

  VERONICA

  Yes, I do, but …

  MARRYATT-SMITH

  He is a rag-and-bone merchant. He hates auction houses. He hates dealers. And sometimes I think he has been retained by Sotheby’s with the specific purpose of driving me into a mental institution. No, no, no.

  And yet he is still looking at the photograph.

  He hands the photograph back to her and she takes the drawing. Nevertheless as she is going we see Marryatt-Smith, about to replace the book on Michelangelo Veronica has been consulting, have second thoughts and open it himself.

  Catching up with Veronica as she passes Moberley’s office we note that he is deep in study of his catalogues.

  INT. GARRARD’S, VALUATION DEPARTMENT – DAY

  Cresswell is still dealing with the Vicar.

  CRESSWELL

  A reserve of £500 ought to be ample. I’m sure you can expect to get considerably more than that.