I hadn’t heard from Reed or Elena the past couple days, which threw up some red flags for me. It either told me that they were busy focusing on other shit with the club, or something had happened.
The last time I ended up talking to Reed, there were still no answers on his father or Bones’ whereabouts. With each day that passed, I kept getting an eerier feeling about their disappearance. It didn’t seem like a coincidence now, and deep down I know that it wasn’t.
Slash and I both quietly disappeared out onto the balcony of the hotel room. From here, we could both watch Bellamy safely sleeping, her arm curled up into her pillow, fingertips touching the root of her hair. She slept in that same exact position every night.
I dialed Reed and put him on speaker phone, we could hear the ringing over and over again until it went to voicemail. Next, I called Elena, and the same thing happened, it rang and rang until ultimately her voicemail popped up. Shit was getting weird. Slash and I exchanged one look and the next thing I knew we were both calling up every single person in the club that we could. Sure, it was late, but someone was bound to be awake. We’re in a fucking MC, for fuck’s sake, someone is always up.
I called Daisy and Seamus first, neither of them answered, going down the list of contacts in my phone I swiped until I saw Michelle’s name. She’s one that is always running amuck in the middle of the night. I’ve found her sitting up in the kitchen at three in the morning more times than I can count. She plays it off like she can’t sleep, but we both know there’s more to it than just that. A lot of us at the club have issues, but Michelle has issues.
“I’ve called literally everyone, what the fuck is going on?” I bark out at her the second she says hello.
“You haven’t heard?”
“No. Heard what? How was I supposed to hear anything when no one has communicated with Slash or I for two days, Meech?” I growl, hissing out her nickname at the end. Shit. I shouldn’t have done that.
“If you want to be a dick to me, then I’ll just hang up the phone. You don’t get to just…treat me like that.”
“Fuck. You’re right. I’m sorry.” There’s a few second pause before I speak again. “What’s going on?”
“Elena was admitted to the hospital.” Shit! The Cartel made a move when we weren’t there. Dammit. I knew this was bad. This was so fucking worse than just being bad. “We had to call an ambulance for her, turns out she was pregnant. She ended up losing the baby. It wasn’t a viable pregnancy, it was growing in her fallopian tube.”
“What’s that mean?” I ask, not sure what Michelle is telling me.
“It means she’s going through a lot right now and neither of you needs to be bugging her or Reed about shit. They need time to deal with this, to process it. Neither of them even knew she was pregnant, and they’ve been trying for a little while. This is hitting them both pretty hard. Kyle has been handling everything until Reed is back. Right now, he needs to be in one place, and once place only – beside Elena. God…this is so hard for her, Butch. She’s never…I just feel so bad for her.”
“Yeah…I can’t imagine,” and I couldn’t, I couldn’t imagine going through what they both are right now. They have to be crippled with grief. “I was calling because we hadn’t heard anything from them in the past couple days. Can you give me any updates on what’s going on with everything else?” Like I’ve said before, we aren’t like most clubs. We don’t hide shit from the women unless it’s real hush-hush.
“Well, as far as we know the Cartel is still being a nosy fuckin’ bitch. They’re becoming more active in Nashville, and now Reed is talking with some gangs to make sure that the Cartel doesn’t infest the city. Keeping them out of Nashville means keeping them at bay, which is good for everyone.”
“Who’s he been talking to?” I think about every known gang in Nashville, going down the list inside my head I keep internally saying “no” because Reed wouldn’t communicate with people who were on the wrong side of the law. We may be on the wrong side, but we do things the right way, and that’s what counts.
“You know those people…. crap. What’s their name? It’s something weird, they’re these holier than thou do gooders, who kill people. Shit.” She curses, I can hear her thinking from a few states away.
“Purgatory?’ I ask, shocked that Reed would even talk to them…He’s never once discussed any sort of alliance with The Arcane, but if he was going to align the club with anyone local, it would be them. This is the part that sucks, most of our allies are states away. Their numbers are vast, but their distance from us is what kills us. I suppose at the end of the day if shit went south we could count on The Arcane showing up in enough time to help.
“Yep. He met with some dude named Darius, and from what I found out, it seemed to go well. I know he’s been talking with Fist too. Fist said he’d send a couple guys down to help and show more club presence, but Reed didn’t want him to do that quite yet.”
“I bet he didn’t,” I mutter, rubbing my jaw harshly as I try to get inside of Reed’s head. No matter how much I try, I know that I’ll never be able to.
“How’s the babysitting going?” Michelle sneers, with a laugh at the end of her question. Here’s the thing about Michelle, she can be as sweet as pie, and then there’s the other side of her, which is one thing and one thing only – a bitch that you want to strangle with a piece of wire.
Slash tosses his cigarette off the balcony and goes back in the hotel room. I know for a fact he doesn’t want to hear this side of Michelle, those two are oddly close. They’ve never been romantic, all of us know that Michelle either belongs to Max or Kyle and nobody else. Way back when she and Kyle were a thing, and then she moved on to Max, and now that Max is gone…. well shit, it’s not gonna be hard to figure out who’s bed she ends up crawling back to.
“We aren’t babysitting her,” I hiss lowly, not amused with her sudden change in attitude. “Elena and Reed gave us orders, we’re simply following them.”
“Yep. You’re ‘protecting’ the newfound princess from the evil creatures, got it.”
“She’s in just as much danger as the rest of us, and you know it.” I’m tired of her shit. I don’t know what it is, or why Michelle seems to hate Bellamy already, but she’d better cut this shit out ‘cause I won’t stand for it.
“No, she isn’t, she’s got an entire security team.”
“Wrong. You are so beyond wrong. She’s in danger every day because of her job, and now that we’ve found out she’s related to Elena that jeopardizes her safety even more.”
“That’s such bullshit. We need you two here, not running around the states on vacation ‘watching’ that girl.”
“Well, luckily for you, it isn’t your call to make. Is it, Michelle?” I snap, ending the call before I can even stand to hear another word spilling from her mouth.
I know that it isn’t her fault that she’s the way she is, that it’s everything that she’d gone through over the course of years and years but let’s face it, we all go through shit. It doesn’t give us an excuse to be a royal bitch to everyone around us. I try to give her passes every now and again, but that’ll be stopping soon. No more passes for Michelle, it’s about time she grows the fuck up. I understand she’s been hurt a lot, and by the people who are closest to her, but enough is enough.
The first thing I’ll be doing when I get back is talking to her about her behavior, there’s no sugar coating this shit. It’s going to be rough and brutal, but at the end of the day, I’ll get my point across.
I put my hand on the slider door, moving it to the left and stepping into the hotel room after I’ve opened it. Bellamy is fast asleep, her hand moving up further into her hair with every breath that she takes. The way she sleeps is too damn adorable.
“Night, brother,” I hear Slasher mutter, and when I look up he’s turning off the bedside light and sliding under the covers. I glance around the room, knowing very well that I could sleep on the pull-out couch that is there
for me, but I don’t want to. There is only one place I want to be, and I’m going there.
I walk to the other side of Bellamy’s bed, turn off the light, and pick up the sheets. Slowly, I slide in, careful not to wake her.
Her breath hitches in her throat, and I think I’ve woken her, but her breathing centers, and she’s back to normal. I nestle myself behind her, my chest pressed against her back, arm going around her hip, holding her close…right where she belongs.
“Mmmm,” she mumbles, and I peer up, beard scratching her cheek.
“Sssh, I’ve got you, Sugar.”
“Butch,” she whines, whispering it out.
I pull her closer to me as I rise up, turning her face towards me to plant a soft, lingering kiss on her lips. “Sleep,” I tell her, it’s an order, not a request.
She nods through the kiss, and when I pull away she flips around, nestling her head against my chest.
“Goodnight, Butch.”
“Night, Sugar. Sweet dreams.”
That’s the last thing I remember before the darkness takes us both.
Chapter 17
The rebel girl in me will never die.
-Anonymous
Bellamy
I don’t even remember being brought to the tour bus. We were set to leave at five a.m. sharp for Philly. Even though it was only a couple hours away it was important that we arrived at every venue early to conduct a sound check and rehearse if we needed to. In almost every case it was necessary, especially when we didn’t know the stage layouts, or if the set up was new to us. Apparently, Butch carried me onto the bus and laid me down right before the bus took off. I don’t recall any of it. I can remember getting the best sleep of my life last night though.
Syd and Rocky were making jokes at me after I woke up on the bus feeling like a lunatic, I knew what I could remember from last night in the hotel room wasn’t a complete figment of my imagination. I can very clearly remember the way Butch’s arms were wrapped around my body, his breath against the back of my head. It’s funny, the whole reason that Slash and Butch are with me is to protect me – to make me feel safe, and last night, that’s exactly the feeling he gave me. The sense of security I felt being in that bed with him was astonishing. I hadn’t let myself fall into that deep of a sleep in ages, but with Butch, I feel like I don’t have to be on guard all the time. It’s a nice change.
It’s just an hour before the show, and I’ve made myself familiar with the stage as best that I could have, never seeing the venue. I haven’t ever played a show in Philly, so tonight’s show will give me a bit of insight on if I’ll have a bigger fanbase here. I pay attention to these things, every city where I’m being received well by the crowd I want to remember – because I want to come back and perform for them, especially because they had seen me while I was opening, basically, while I was no-one.
“Are you gonna fess up and tell me how your likin’ spending the night with two men?” Rocky asks, chuckling as he leans up against the wall next to me.
I turn my head to look at him, grinning “Just as much as I liked spending the night with four.” I add a wink on the end and he cocks his head back, laughing as if I told him the funniest joke he’d ever heard. Sometimes I think he forgets that I’m a witty gal.
“You haven’t talked too much about them, you know,” he adds, and all of a sudden I’m getting the protective brother vibe from him, and it’s exactly what he is. This guy looks like he could compete with the Hulk, but boy does he have the gentlest and sweetest heart. I glance around and see that both Slasher and Butch are within sight, but not hearing distance. They always seem to have their eyes on me, no matter what I’m doing or where I am.
“I guess I don’t really know what to say. They aren’t bad. Slash is really funny, sometimes he’s a dick – but he’s funny…and Butch is-” I pause, trying to think of how to explain what Butch is.
“Obviously, the one you’ve slept with,” Rocky mutters, rubbing his jaw, grinning like the bird who caught the canary. I punch him square in the arm, and he laughs. “I knew it.”
“He’s nice and is full of surprises.”
“Hmm. Like the many sexual fetishes he has?”
I smack Rocky’s arm, “No, like how nice he is. I actually like him.”
“Let me get this straight. You, the girl who declared she would never go for another ‘bad boy’ likes the muscle that your half-sister sent to watch over you?” Rocky holds his straight face for a few moments longer than I thought he would. He’s right. I swore after Zac that I’d never go for another ‘bad boy’ again, and here I am liking who is most likely the epitome of the term ‘bad boy’. Isn’t it funny how that worked out?
“I know. I sound like an idiot.”
“No, you don’t. You’re human, Bell. We all like people that we probably shouldn’t. I’ve seen the guy a bit and talked to him once, he seems alright, but there’s no denying that being with him is playing with fire; it’s dangerous.”
I think about what Rocky has just said for a long time. He isn’t wrong. There is no denying that Butch is dangerous, but there’s also no denying that my sister is either. What’s the difference? Oh, wait. There isn’t one. I don’t have to think about it long to know that I don’t care if danger is involved. To me, he’s worth the risk.
It’s right now, right here in this very moment where I realize that even though Butch and I have only known each other a short amount of time, the only thing I want to do is see where this leads. I’m not talking about settling down and marrying the guy. I just want to give us a chance, and a good one at that.
The only thing I have to do now is telling him, and that’s going to be the trickiest part of it all.
***
Time flew by and the next thing I knew it was just a few moments before I was due onstage. My mics were secured, my outfit was flawless, and I feel like I’m on top of the world. There are two things that happen right before I’m about to go on. I’m either riddled with a confidence boost that other performers would kill for, or I’m the complete opposite and turn into such an emotional, nervous wreck. The only way I can calm myself enough to go onstage at that point is to take a couple shots of Fireball Whiskey, and boy does that help!
It’s a few days before Halloween, and the temperature is almost perfect. It’s a little cloudy with a slight gust of wind, stopping in at about sixty-five degrees. I couldn’t ask for better weather to perform in. I take a quick peek through the curtain and can see the stadium riddled with fans. These are the kind of shows that I absolutely adore, where I can feel their excited energy. It just makes me that more pumped to put on a show and sing for them.
Earlier in the day, I make the decision to change up my set a little bit. I have five songs that I sing every time I open for The Stones, they’re usually the same and pre-approved by both Evie and the band depending on the city we’re playing in. Tonight, I told Jase that I wanted to do a cover of “Do What U Want,” by Lady Gaga. We’ve sung a lot of duets together, but pop isn’t really his thing. I thought he’d fight me tooth and nail on it, but he didn’t; he gave in immediately and made me thrilled to be doing something different. Everything else was the same, I’d sing my normal four, and then we’d close out with the cover. It was set, and boy did it feel perfect.
My music was my cue, and I lit it up, running out on stage and hyping the crowd up as I did every night. I’d performed in Baltimore one time previously, but not at this venue. The last time I was here I had a great time, the people were so lovely and supportive, and I’m not shocked by how they’re treating me tonight – it’s almost exactly the same, if not better.
I sing my heart out, starting them off slow with a grueling break up melody that I wrote after Zac broke my heart. Then, to a song that I wrote about growth and moving on, with every song that I sing there is a meaning behind it. Behind every song that I cover and every song that I write, there is always some hidden message. Not everyone worked that way, but it’s how I do.
/>
When Jase comes out onstage, he is unannounced, and the crowd goes wild, screaming and hollering. The Stones were crazy famous, but there was no denying that the fans had this special sort of bond with Jase, their front man.
Jase walks over to me and gives me a half hug, kissing the top of my temple, then runs out to the front of the stage, hyping up the crowd even further. I did a pretty good job myself, but this was something else entirely. It’s like he knows exactly what to say to make them go insane. One day I hope to be able to steal some words of wisdom from his book.
He tells them that we were doing something different, something that we had never ever done before, a song that he hadn’t even rehearsed and was sure that he was going to mess up. Hearing the women in the crowd disagree with him is hysterical, and good old Jase, he just smirks and accepts defeat. There was never any song that he could mess up, anyone who had heard him sing would know that.
The music for “Do What U Want” blasts through the speakers, and we both hit every lyric, it is fun, enthralling, and completely exhilarating. The more that I thought about it…the more that I realized I wanted to sing this song because of one person – Butch.
Let’s be honest, he can do whatever he wants to my body.
The fans ate up our performance, and just as Jase and I are waiting to hear the background to our next song, we hear over the speakers that there is a special guest coming to sing with me tonight. I look to Jase, and Jase looks back to me, confused as all h-e-double hockey sticks.
There were no plans for me to be singing with anyone else but him, and if there was…Evie would have surely told me about it.
Jase offers the crowd a smile, walks over to me and whispers in my ear “I’m going to find out what’s going on, okay? Keep them pumped up.”
I nod to him as he jogs off back stage.
He’s gone for maybe a couple of minutes as I’m talking to the crowd, telling them how thankful we are to be here tonight and adding that a few of them may see us in the bars downtown, ‘because we’ve heard how great they are.