“Yes.” He reached for my hand. “In the beginning . . .”
I sighed. “In the beginning, Prissy had hemorrhoids.”
Brady’s eyes widened. “Not at all how I pictured the story kicking off, but you’ve hooked me with a great opening line. Now, for the rest of the story.”
I told him, and within a minute or two he was laughing so hard he could barely talk. “Katie, that’s priceless. It’s a joke. It’s got to be. Your mom is pulling your leg.”
“She’s not. The police are involved.”
“The police? Why? Did they arrest Bessie May for disturbing the peace?”
“No, but the whole town is split down the middle, and less than two weeks before our wedding. And to make things worse—”
“Worse than the town being split down the middle?”
“To make things worse, I went off on a spiel at Alva and Eduardo’s wedding, telling your mom how sweet the town of Fairfield is. You know how skeptical she was about holding the wedding there.”
Brady slipped his arm over my shoulders. “She wasn’t skeptical about Fairfield. She just wanted me to have a great experience and thought the Gaylord would do the trick.”
“Well, maybe we should’ve gone with her idea. But how could I have known, Brady? I never dreamed the whole town would fall apart.”
“They haven’t fallen apart, Katie. C’mon now. That’s a little dramatic. Let’s go to dinner and forget about all of this.” He rose and gestured for me to join him. I couldn’t. Not without telling him the rest.
“Queenie says she’s forgotten how to pray.”
“Whoa.” He took a seat once more. “This is serious then.”
“Yeah. You know if Queenie’s troubled, it must be bad.”
He looked my way, eyes narrowed. “So, let me get this straight. We have less than two weeks to fix the town, have our wedding rehearsal, and then celebrate the biggest day of our lives.”
“Yes. Exactly.”
“Without my mom finding out.” He released a slow breath.
“Or anyone else from Cosmopolitan Bridal. I’d be devastated if the girls knew.”
“You don’t think Twiggy’s told Dahlia? Surely she’s already spreading the story around the shop.”
“Maybe. I don’t know.”
“Did your mom mention anything about the church?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you hear about churches splitting all the time. Do you think that will end up happening?”
“Surely not.” I bit my lip. Then again, many of the ladies were members of the Baptist church. I’d have to ask Crystal about that one.
Great. If the whole town was split down the middle, maybe we’d have to split the church down the middle too. Wouldn’t that be lovely. And while we were at it, we might as well split my heart down the middle, because that’s what would happen if we didn’t get this fixed—and quick!
23
Never Loved Before
I have to be alone very often. I’d be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That’s how I refuel.
Audrey Hepburn
The first weekend in August, Lori-Lou, Crystal, and a happily married Aunt Alva hosted my bridal shower. The original plan to use the community center folded because Prissy, who headed up the committee to rent the space out, wasn’t speaking to Crystal, though Crystal couldn’t seem to figure out why.
In the end, Queenie offered her home for the event, which turned out to be just the right amount of space, since half the ladies on the invitation list weren’t speaking to the other half and hadn’t RSVP’d. Not that I minded. I’d rather have a smaller crowd—all speaking to one another—than a larger one wreaking havoc. And I felt good about the fact that the girls from the bridal shop would all be at my side. That made up for the mess.
Sort of.
Still, it broke my heart to think about the divisions in the town, and all the more as I visited with Crystal before the shower kicked off. She looked visibly shaken by it all. Her hands trembled as she worked on the shower décor.
“You okay over there, honey?” Alva asked as she put the silverware in place.
Crystal sighed. “Not really. I don’t even know what to tell y’all about the big brouhaha goin’ on here in Fairfield. It’s escalatin’ to a ri-dic-ulous point.” She put a lovely centerpiece in the middle of Queenie’s dining room table and then leaned back to observe. “Do you like the china plates? Did you notice they’re in a variety of pas-tay-uls, just like our dresses? I went on eBay and found ’em just for today.”
“They’re gorgeous, Crystal. I still can’t believe you went to such effort for little ol’ me.”
“Yes, they’re amazing.” Hibiscus picked one up and ran her finger across the edge of it. “Beautiful.”
“Only to find out after the fact that half the ladies aren’t turnin’ up because of their stupid pride.” Her eyes flooded with tears. “I’m sorry, Katie. I hate to bring you down on your big day. Please forgive me for lettin’ my emotions get the better of me.” She swiped at her eyes.
“Nothing to forgive.” I gave her a compassionate smile. “And technically my big day is next weekend. I had hoped to hear good news when I got to town this morning, but I guess not. Things are no better at all?”
“No good news, I’m afraid.” My sister-in-law paled and almost looked ill. “I guess you know all about how this got started, with Prissy and Bessie May gettin’ into it. Right? And how their husbands got involved.”
“Right.”
“I hate to tell you, but Mayor Luchenbacher found himself smack-dab in the middle of the mess. You know how his wife Nettie is. Always trying to prove a point. Anyway, she took sides with Prissy, and before you know it, the mayor did too. Which was fine, except the sheriff took sides with Bessie May, which put the mayor at odds with the sheriff. So the editor up at the paper—did I tell you that Mildred’s husband Chuck is the editor now?—he decided to do a write-up slam-dunkin’ the sheriff. So the sheriff’s people came out swingin’. Before you knew it, there were half a dozen articles from locals singin’ the praises of the sheriff and crucifying the mayor. Which, of course, has Nettie seein’ red. No one, and I do mean no one, says a negative word against her husband. Not while she’s livin’ and breathin’.”
“Oh my.” Thank God Nadia wasn’t hearing all of this. Hopefully things would simmer down by the time she arrived.
“Yes, ‘oh my’ is right.”
“This is all so ridiculous and exciting at the same time!” Alva rubbed her hands together. “What a terrific plotline! I can hardly wait to see what happens next. Do you think there’ll be a gunfight at the O.K. Corral between the sheriff and the mayor? Ooh, I’d pay money to see that.”
“I sure hope not.” I shivered just thinking about it.
“Don’t be so quick to assume.” Queenie’s voice sounded behind us. “The sheriff is filing a lawsuit.”
I turned to face her, praying I’d heard wrong. “I’m sorry, what?”
“The sheriff. He’s filing a lawsuit against the mayor. Apparently there’s some kind of old zoning issue that’s been around for years, and it has something to do with Main Street. The whole street is divided down the middle with cones. The sheriff has let things slide till now. But with everyone up in arms, he’s decided to take action against the mayor, who insists the sheriff is wrong. Can you believe all of this goes back to Bessie May misunderstanding Prissy’s comments about her hemorrhoid surgery?” She sighed. “Do you ever feel like you’re sliding down a slippery slope?”
“As a matter of fact, I do. My wedding reception is taking place on Main Street.”
“You might be safe, as long as your reception is on the south lawn of the courthouse,” Queenie said.
“It is. Whew.” That was a close one.
“But keep in mind that the church sits kitty-corner on Main at Travis. It’s half in one zone and half in another. The sanctuary falls
to the mayor’s side and the fellowship hall to the sheriff’s. The original founders knew this but worked together to overcome the division. Back then, no one cared. Something about goodwill.”
“Goodwill, huh?” I groaned. “What’s happening to my little town? And why now?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen anything like this, to be honest. I’m kind of scared to go outside because everyone’s always up in arms.”
Lovely. Just what I needed the week before my wedding. And to be perfectly honest, I was a little scared to stay indoors too—especially on Main Street.
Queenie sighed. “You remember Benny Walker, right? His dad ran the auto parts store before they tore it down and turned it into a gas station? Well, he got into it with the sheriff over the zoning thing. Next thing you know, the businesses are squabbling. Hotel owners are fighting with restaurant owners, people aren’t frequenting the same stores anymore.”
“Yes.” Crystal groaned, still looking a bit pale. “And whatever you do, don’t go onto any of their Facebook pages. You won’t believe the things they’re saying. Don’t they realize that the internet is forever? You can’t take that stuff back. Once it’s out there, it’s out there . . . forever. Let’s just say the feudin’ has definitely gone public.”
“And all of this because of a misunderstanding?” I asked. “Are we really, really sure that’s what started it all?”
“Yes.” Queenie clucked her tongue. “And probably the dumbest misunderstanding in the history of misunderstandings.”
“No kidding.”
I didn’t have time to think about it for long because Bessie May arrived, along with Ophelia and Mildred. Prissy was noticeably missing, as were the mayor’s wife and several others. I tried not to let it bother me.
Queenie and Crystal greeted the guests and offered them snacks. Before long we were all gathered around the dining room table, plates filled with yummy finger foods. I would’ve expected the ladies to talk about my wedding—we were here for a shower, after all—but the topic turned to the goings-on in town.
Mildred looked particularly sad. She’d hardly said a word since arriving.
“Are you all right?” I asked, feeling a bit more like a psychologist than a bride-to-be at her own shower.
Her lips curled down in a frown. “It’s just that nothing’s the same since the WOP-pers stopped praying together. Nothing.”
“Like what?”
“Well, for one thing, the peaches aren’t as good this season. I tried making a cobbler last night and my husband told me it tasted like poison.”
“You’re blaming that on the lack of prayer?” Alva asked.
“What else could it be? I used the same recipe I’ve always used.” She headed across the room to refill her plate.
“Her peach cobbler’s always been nasty,” Bessie May whispered in my ear. “But don’t tell her, okay? More than likely her husband’s just now worked up the courage to tell her.”
“I have noticed that the Blizzards at Dairy Queen don’t taste the same,” Ophelia said.
Lori-Lou seemed more than a little perplexed by this. “Are you saying that’s because of lack of prayer?”
“I think it’s that old machine they’re using, but if the WOP-pers were on the job they would’ve prayed in a new one by now. The real kicker is what’s happening up at Brookshire Brothers. Would you believe they fired their chief baker? Carissa has worked there for thirty years. The manager up and fired her!”
“Why?”
“I have no idea. Something to do with fondant. But most of us believe it’s because she was on one side of the feud and the manager was on the other. So he got rid of her.”
“Bessie May, that’s illegal. He can’t do that.”
“He already did.” Her voice grew more animated as she continued. “Nobody cares anything about legal or illegal around here. They just do what they want. Like Bobby Rogers, the girls’ softball coach. He kicked three girls off the team. Accused them of vandalism, but all they stole was some toilet paper so they could wrap another girl’s house. Next thing you know, the police show up at their door and then they’re off the team. I know what really happened there. Coach was on Prissy’s side and the parents of those three girls were on mine. So there you have it. Split straight down the middle. This poor town.”
“This poor bride.” I groaned. “What am I going to do?”
Dahlia leaned my way to say, “Whatever you do, don’t buy your groceries at Brookshire Brothers and don’t toilet paper anyone’s house. Those two things will land you on the wrong side of the law.”
“And for pity’s sake, don’t drive down Main Street,” Lori-Lou added. “That might just get you arrested.”
“The real kicker is that half these folks are with the Chamber of Commerce.” Ophelia clucked her tongue. “They’ve taken an oath to lead with integrity, respect, and passion. So much for that.”
“Oh, I don’t know . . .” Queenie filled her plate with little tea sandwiches. “I’d say they have a lot of passion.”
“Misguided as it might be.” Bessie May lit into another story, but Crystal took my arm and pulled me out of the room.
“I’m sorry, but I just had to get you out of there. This is your bridal shower, for pity’s sake, not a meeting at city hall.”
“Couldn’t have guessed it by me.” I glanced down at my plate and realized it was still empty. In all the chaos, I’d forgotten to get even one bite of food. Go figure.
“Tell you what.” Crystal grabbed my plate. “You go to the living room. I’ll meet you there with a full plate.”
“Okay.” I did just that. I found Lori-Lou and Queenie seated on the sofa. I settled onto the love seat across from them. “You guys hiding out too?”
“You betcha. Just can’t take it anymore.” Lori-Lou shivered. “Makes me glad I moved to the city.”
“People get assaulted in the city,” Queenie said and then took a bite of her sandwich.
“Yes, but not by their friends and neighbors.” Lori-Lou settled back against the sofa cushions. “If you get my point.”
“I for one am glad Mama hasn’t made it back in town yet. This would break her heart. And Nadia . . .” Now I shivered. “She’s set to arrive in a few minutes. Sure hope we can change the subject by then.”
“I’ll make sure they do, honey.” Queenie gave me a knowing look.
“Yes, once we finish eating, we’ll play a couple of games and then you can open your gifts,” Lori-Lou said. “It’ll be lots of fun.”
Fun. Yes. We could all stand some fun.
Crystal arrived a moment later with my plate, which she handed to me, along with a fork and napkin. “There you go, Katie. Enjoy your bridal shower luncheon.” She gave a strained smile as she took a seat next to me.
I nibbled on a carrot for a moment and then looked her way, realizing she wasn’t having anything to eat or drink. “You doing okay over there? You look a little out of sorts.”
“Who wouldn’t be?” Her eyes filled with tears. “This is not how I pictured things goin’ in my quaint little town.”
“Me either.”
I handed her a carrot and she bit into it.
“Tell me how you’re doing—really,” I said. “We’ve hardly had a chance to talk since you and Jasper got back from Atlanta. Things have been so crazy.”
“Ugh. Tell me about it.” She chomped on the carrot and then released the longest sigh ever. “I. Can’t. Take. It. Anymore.”
“That bad?” I asked.
“Worse! And it’s gone on for weeks now. Let’s just leave it at that. People have taken to timin’ their visits to the store. Those who side with Prissy only shop in the mornin’s now, and those who are sidin’ with Bessie May only shop in the afternoon. It’s a mess. And I can’t keep up with the players—who’s teamin’ up with who.”
“Whoa.”
“Yes, exactly. I feel so bad for Jasper. He has to listen to everyone complain. I guess they think he’s got a s
ympathetic ear, since he grew up here and all. But this whole fiasco’s got me wishin’ I still lived in Dallas.”
This got Queenie’s and Lori-Lou’s attention right away.
“Oh, honey . . .” My grandmother paled. “Tell me it ain’t so.”
“Are you coming back?” Twiggy and Dahlia asked, their voices rippling in unison across the room.
“The thought has crossed my mind. This is just heartbreaking. And it’s hurting our business. Sales are really down right now. Well, except for fencing—sales are way up on fence posts. People are shuttin’ each other out. It’s just awful, I tell you.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said. “Have you mentioned anything to Mama and Pop?”
“We haven’t had the heart to tell them. Your mom calls every Sunday afternoon at four o’clock just to check in. I talked to her last Sunday and she sounded a bit suspicious. Someone must’ve told her something, though I couldn’t be sure. But she knew enough to ask some rather pointed questions.”
“How’s Jasper handling all of this?”
“He says it’ll blow over. He told me to pray. And I have been. It’s just that I don’t really know what to pray for, except peace. I certainly don’t want to pray for one team or the other. You know? I think they’re all wrong. They all need a swift kick in the backside.”
“Whatever you do, don’t say that anyone is a pain in the backside. That’s what started all of this, you know.”
“Oh, we know, all right.” A reflective look settled over Queenie. “The sad thing is, no one even knows if Prissy ever recovered from her, um, well . . . health issues. Folks were so busy being mad, no one thought to ask if she’s any better. I just find that so sad.”
I did too.
Just about that time, Bessie May and Mildred got into a dispute over the chicken salad—something about almonds. Twiggy came into the living room to tell me that Jane was having some sort of meltdown in the kitchen. And Crystal—poor Crystal—bolted to the bathroom because her stomach revolted from the carrot.
Wasn’t this just the perfect time for my future mother-in-law to show up at the front door with a smile as bright as sunshine on her face? Yes indeed, it surely was.