“This summer without you… It’s been hell on me, and it crushes me to think what it’s been for like for you. That you’re pregnant with another man’s child—I’ll deal with it, Gabby. We’ll make it work. I’ll raise this baby as if it’s my own. It’s a part of you, and that’s enough for me. I swear to you, honey, I wasn’t there before, but I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll always be here for you and this baby.”
She could only stare at him in stunned silence.
“I didn’t want to do this here,” he went on, casting a glance around and taking both her hands, “but you aren’t giving me much choice. I still have your ring. You can have it back, or I’ll buy you a brand-new one. We can start all over. I miss you.” He gazed searchingly into her eyes, his own like a clear autumn morning. Not the hazy, sweltering late-summer sky outside the building…and not the warm spring of Ian’s that she longed for. “I do want to marry you. Come back to me.”
Gabby jerked her hands from his, all but slapping them away. Whether it was fury at him or horror at how much she wanted to go with him, not only to dinner, but home... She couldn’t even analyze it right now. Wouldn’t. Didn’t have the strength to. “I can’t believe you’re doing this. I have to go.”
Those autumn-blue eyes clouded with desperation. “At least give some thought to it. I promise you, I see what I’ve lost now, Gabby, and I’m sorry it took me this long to—”
“You’re too late.”
“Think about what’s best for you and this baby.”
“It wouldn’t be you. Get out of my way.”
He let her step past him, not turning to watch her yank open her car door and fling herself inside, where it was twice as hot as the sauna outside. She meant to start it and speed off before he could do anything more, but he walked away, his steps long and rapid. She couldn’t help herself; she watched his retreating figure and had to grab hold of the steering wheel to keep from jumping out and running after him. He was…home to her. No matter what he’d done, no matter how he’d hurt her, he represented everything she’d ever wanted. It was almost like watching her life walk away from her. Her future, the one she’d almost had, the one he was offering to her again.
God, the confidence he exuded. It was evident in every move he made. His control, his…elegance. It was no wonder she’d fallen so hard for him so fast. Hell, even his sex had been graceful.
Ian couldn’t be more different. His raw swagger got her blood pumping in a completely different way that was no less potent—even more so. The only thing she could really consider elegant about him came through in his art. He could give her everything she wanted in the bedroom, and then some. But could he give her same things the man walking away from her could?
At least Mark was here. He might’ve screwed things up, but he was trying to make it right. Where the fuck was the father of her child?
Ugh, to hell with it. Maybe the answer really was to swear off all men, like her mother had suggested. Hadn’t they gotten her into enough trouble?
She started her car with every intention of leaving, but in the end, she only sat with the air conditioner running. And cried. Ugly cried, half collapsed over her console, letting it all pour out in great racking sobs that had been coming for a long, long time. The sobs she didn’t allow even when Mark stood her up for the biggest date of her life.
A knock on her window snapped her head up, and she could only imagine the sight that greeted her former fiancé as he peered inside at her.
“Gabby,” Mark said sternly, though his voice was muffled by the glass. “Open the door. Right now.”
Absolutely depleted of any strength, she obeyed, not bothering to wipe her streaming eyes or fix her mussed hair. “What?”
“I’m not letting you drive like this. Go around, and I’ll drive you home.”
“But—”
“I’ll call a cab from your place. It’s okay.”
He had come back, she thought as she clambered from the driver’s seat and trudged around to the passenger side. And she had the feeling he wouldn’t give up no matter how many times she pushed him away. How would she have the willpower to resist that, as beaten down as she’d been feeling?
She wouldn’t. Simple.
After listlessly reciting her address to him, she kept her head bowed as he drove, using the time to pray he would let her be and not push his agenda. Unfortunately, the familiarity of him in the driver’s seat, the simultaneous proximity and distance between them, the whole impossible mess she’d made of things all because she’d wanted to get laid…it all kept her eyes on a steady drip, and she knew it was only a matter of time before he started in on her again. But he touched her only once, when he reached over to briefly rub her back as they stopped at a red light.
Of course, the traffic was horrendous and they had plenty of time to sit in awkward silence. Gabby kept remembering the one and only time Ian had driven her car. The night they’d ended up at the lake, sitting on the hood, kissing under the moonlight. Probably the last night she’d felt good about things. Calm. Like maybe everything would be all right.
“Feel any better?” Mark asked. She lifted her head to see they were pulling into her building’s parking lot. Thank God. Things were beginning to crack again inside her. Who knew what would come pouring out this time? She’d probably start screaming and hitting things.
“Not really.”
“You shouldn’t be going through this by yourself.”
“No one knows that better than I do. Trust me.”
“He should—”
“I don’t know what’s about to come out of your mouth, but don’t you dare judge him. Remember it wasn’t too long ago when everyone wanted your head.”
After a brief pause, he said, “Fair enough.”
“You’d better get back.”
Sighing, he checked his watch and then dialed his phone, requesting a taxi at her address. Gabby stared straight through the windshield as one of her neighbors passed on the sidewalk in front of them, pushing a baby stroller, a little pink bundle tucked safely inside. That would be Gabby next spring. Pink or blue? And would anyone be walking beside her?
What if she couldn’t do this alone?
Mark ended his call, and she felt his gaze on her. Finally, she drew a deep breath and met it.
“I’ll go with you tonight. Pick me up at seven.”
“Ian. Come talk to me for a minute, dude.” Without waiting for a reply, Brian turned and headed down the hallway toward his office. Naturally, all gazes present in Dermamania swung toward Ian, and Ghost ribbed him by singsonging, “Oooooh. Somebody’s in trouble.”
“Fuck off, man.”
“Go get your spanking like a good boy.”
“There’s seriously something wrong with you.”
“Well, no shit.” Ghost laughed.
Sighing, Ian made a show of straightening up around his station for a few seconds, but he was only stalling. He’d been waiting for this. Unfortunately, he still wasn’t prepared for it. Brian had remained quiet about things lately—dealing with his own family drama, a brand-new marriage and impending fatherhood—but there wasn’t much doubt in Ian’s mind that time was over and Brian’s focus was shifting to what the hell was going on with Gabby. So when he walked into Brian’s office, Ian closed the door without being asked to.
Brian didn’t sit, rather crossing his arms and leaning back against his desk. And as usual, he got straight to the point. “What’s going on with you?”
“In what way?” As if he didn’t know.
“Well, for one, you’re still here, and for another…you’re always here. I don’t want to, like, tell you to take a break, or to quit and go be with my sister, but you’re hitting it too hard. You’re gonna burn out.”
He couldn’t tell his boss he was already burnt out. Weekday, weekend, he accommodated anyone and anything he could, working his ass off trying to better his financial situation. For what, he didn’t know. For some wild dream
that if he saved up enough money, he could swoop in and take care of the woman he loved and his child to the point that her family would accept him, and he wouldn’t be dependent on her.
For the first time in his life, he wished he’d done more. Gone to college. He’d always loved photography when he was younger…then Earl smashed his camera, and he’d never bothered with it again. He had his art, but he could probably make more money inking it onto other people than selling prints.
“You might be right,” he muttered, shifting on his feet under Brian’s intense scrutiny. “But…it’s better than being home.”
“All right. I promised myself when this started—after my initial freak-out, of course—that I wasn’t going to stick my nose in it. Because I hate that shit, and I deal with enough of it myself. But now I’m going back on my word. Tell me what’s going on.”
“She’s there. I’m here.” It really was as simple as that.
“Dude, if you love her—and I’m not asking if you do, I’m just saying—then you’d better get your ass to Dallas and be with her.”
Hearing those words—as if he didn’t already know their truth—was too much. “How in the fuck am I supposed to do that?” he demanded, and Brian actually tilted his head back at the savagery in his voice. Ian was surprised to hear it himself. But that emptiness that had been gnawing its way deeper into his chest…it was reaching some vital part of him, and he feared every day he was about to lose it. Maybe this was it. “Jesus Christ, man, your family thinks I’m only after her for her money, or to fuckin’ mooch off her after she becomes a doctor. How am I supposed to deal with her having to give up everything she’s working toward just to be with me? It’s best for her and our kid if she achieves her dream. I can’t be a part of it right now. I’m willing to accept it if it keeps her on the right track. She needs you guys. She doesn’t need me.”
“She told you about all that?”
“I got it out of her.”
At least he apparently had an ally—Brian looked as if he were itching to hit something. “Goddamn, man. Look, I’m sorry. I know how you feel. I’ve been there—”
“Then how the fuck did you fix it?”
“It’s still not fixed. But I had information Candace’s parents didn’t want brought to light, so they tolerate me. I hate it. I still do, but she’s worth it.”
“I don’t have anything I can threaten your family with, unless you have a dark secret you’d like to divulge.” He gave Brian a crooked grin to show he was only joking. Sort of.
“Nothing like that, but I can tell you this: never underestimate the power of a good old-fashioned ass-kissing, dude. It’s worked with my old man more times than I care to admit. My mom…she’s a little tougher, but he can usually bring her around if you can get him on your side.”
“Yeah, but you’re his son. I’m just the indigent asshole who knocked up his daughter.”
“Look, they can’t want Gabby alone and miserable. If a solution were presented, they’d jump on it. I guarantee it.”
“I can’t present one. I can’t snap my fingers and have a trust fund fall out of the sky.”
“Believe it or not, I doubt this has much to do with money. It’s more about, I don’t know, ambition. They hated me being a tattoo artist when I worked in that little hole downtown. Fucking hated it. But once they learned I wanted to have my own studio, though, and that I was serious about it, they calmed down, helped me get established. It’s all about your work ethic.”
“I don’t have any way to show them that.”
“You’ve damn sure been showing me. And I know you want more than this. I think for you this has always been something you just happened to fall into, and you were good at it, so you stuck with it. You like it, but it’s not your passion.”
“Yeah.” Brian was right about that. But Ian’s passions always had a way of getting doused…by life, by circumstances…by other people. He was fucking tired of sitting around and letting it happen.
His passion…right now, it was Gabriella. It was the thought of being a father. Again, he was sitting on his hands, watching it slip away, and afterward…afterward, he would blame the Rosses, he would blame the distance, he would blame everyone and everything except himself.
Lifting his gaze to Brian, he had only one plea. He could do this. He knew he could…but not without help. “Help me reach them.”
A grin spread across Brian’s face. “All you had to do was ask.”
Chapter Twenty
If she and Mark were going to make any progress tonight—whatever that might entail—Gabby knew she was going to have to get in a better mood. As she dressed for the evening, she tried to shift gears back to the time they were dating. The excitement she’d felt before every night out with him, thinking she might’ve found The One, and later, the peace and happiness of knowing, just knowing, that she had.
The effort only worsened her mood. She could have all of that again, if she would only take it. So what was the problem?
The problem was three hours away. The problem was tall and tattooed and built, and his child, their child, grew in her belly.
Gabby turned sideways and studied her reflection in the full-length mirror hanging in her bedroom, smoothing her hands down her stomach. The little black dress she’d chosen was more flowy than fitted and camouflaged her almost nonexistent pooch—but then, most of the items in her closet would at this point.
Ian had seemed to want this so much. Why was he pulling away now? She wished she hadn’t told him what her parents thought about the whole situation, but should it really matter that much?
He might not like the idea of moving back here and living with roommates, as he’d said. Well, poor baby. She hadn’t wanted to move back here and be alone. She’d had to suck it up, though, and if he cared about her, really cared, he would do the same.
Never in her life had Gabriella Ross been desperate. Never. Not even when Mark had left her under a ton of humiliation. She’d been furious, she’d been heartbroken, but never desperate. She could almost hate Ian for making her feel this way, for making absolute anguish churn in her gut at the thought of the night ahead and what it might mean for a future with the father of her child.
Could Mark really love this baby like his own? What did that mean for Ian’s place in the baby’s life? Hell, had Mark ever loved her?
In less than twenty minutes, Mark would be knocking on her door—she could only recall once that he hadn’t been on time, but he hadn’t shown up at all then. There was time for one last attempt before she gave herself over to this. Grabbing her phone, she called Ian.
It began to ring, and she counted her heartbeats between those pulses of sound in her ear. She counted more between each ring.
“Hey, this is Ian. Speak.” Beep.
She disconnected just as a knock sounded at her door.
Punctual as always. Nerves flittered about in her belly, beginning to replace everything else. Maybe Ian was busy with a client, maybe he was asleep, maybe he’d had enough and skipped town completely. Maybe he was at the fucking bar. Maybe that wasn’t Mark but Ian standing outside knocking on her door. Ha!
Fact was, she practically sat on top of her phone waiting to hear from him, even in class if it were at all possible. She hated herself for it. Especially now.
That he didn’t afford her the same devotion should be all the answer she needed.
She gave herself one last look in the mirror and, satisfied, headed for the door, determined to open it to another possibility.
“Oh yeah,” Brian said casually from the driver’s seat of his truck. “I forgot my brother is in for the weekend.”
Ian had already been staring slack-jawed at the magnificent house since it came into view—now he focused on the sleek black SUV sitting in the circular drive. “The lawyer.”
“Yep. Dude. You get to take on the whole congregation.” He laughed merrily. “This is gonna be epic.”
Dropping his head back and grinding th
e heels of his hands into his closed eyes, Ian groaned. “You’re deliberately setting me up for failure, aren’t you?”
“It’ll be all right. I got your back.”
Was that a good thing? Wasn’t Brian kind of the black sheep of his family? He might not be the most effective ally in this particular battle.
“Besides,” Brian went on, “his wife, Kelsey? She’s cool. He’s kind of an ass sometimes, but it’s the opposite deal from my parents. Win her over, and she’ll bring him around.”
“Thanks for the tip. I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to say. To anyone.”
Brian braked to a halt, and Ian’s phone took that particular moment to ring—shit! Gabby. He couldn’t talk to her right now. If he told her what he was up to, she might get her hopes up—worse, she might tell him not to bother. Because odds were he was going to do more harm than good. He’d be lucky if he didn’t get run off with a shotgun. Too bad her parents weren’t the old-fashioned kind to push for a wedding in these situations. He would go grinning all the way.
Throughout all this, he kept thinking of her—her smile, her laugh. Kept remembering the night out by the lake, when anything and everything had seemed possible. He wanted a lifetime of nights like that. With her. If the people inside that house were the only thing keeping him from it, then he had to take them on.
He got out of Brian’s truck, jaw set with determination as he followed his friend to the front door. He’d had enough confrontation in his younger years that he tried to avoid it now…but dammit, this was his future at stake. His family. How dare they try to keep him away from that? What gave them the right?
He continued the mental psych-up as he and Brian took the brick steps leading up to the massive front door two and three at a time.
Then Brian was flinging the door open and bellowing, “Hello!” while Ian stalled at the threshold. Cheerful greetings answered Brian’s call from within.
“Dude.”
Brian looked back at him. “What are you, a fuckin’ vampire? You’re my guest. Enter.” He swept his arm toward the interior.