I rolled out of bed, making sure to keep the sheet wrapped around me. “It’s no big deal. If you’ve got stuff to do, I can get dressed pretty quick. Have you seen my shirt?”
He watched me from the doorway with a bemused expression as I clung desperately to the sheet. “Brina, relax.” He walked toward me and my body tensed. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”
“Kickboxing?” I muttered, as he looked me in the eye, his face just inches from mine. “But you’re so…?”
“Geeky? Yeah, that’s what the kids at school used to say until I started kickboxing.”
“Aw…. Was little Milo bullied?”
He reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear as he leaned in to kiss my neck. “Not for long,” he whispered in my ear before his lips fell over my skin.
I drew in a sharp breath as his right hand slid around my waist while his left hand cradled the back of my skull. He forced my head to the side to open up my neck, as if he were a vampire getting ready to suck me dry. His lips moved softly over the curve of my shoulder, up my neck, until he reached my jaw. He pulled back and looked me in the eye and that’s when I realized I had dropped the sheet. He never attempted to look at my body as he held my gaze.
“I’ll be back soon and we can take a walk to that ramen place.”
He walked away without looking back. I sunk onto the bed and buried my face in my hands. What was I doing? This was wrong; extremely hot, but extremely wrong. This was Milo. I couldn’t tread into such dangerous rebound territory with Milo.
I closed my eyes and Luke’s face appeared before me, his lips puckered exaggeratedly like when he would threaten to kiss me when I was annoyed with him. I squeezed my eyes tighter against the image, but his face returned. This time he was staring at me the way he used to stare at me when he knew I was thinking about my brother, with no pity just compassion. God, I missed him so much.
My phone rang and I scrambled toward the sound coming from the top of Milo’s dresser, beyond grateful for the distraction. I didn’t even bother looking at the caller ID.
“Hello?”
“Brina.”
His voice was like warm tea laced with arsenic, all at once soothing me and killing me. My heart stuttered and raced inside me as my entire body shivered.
“Brina, are you there?”
God, how I loved the way he said my name.
“Luke.”
“Brina, I think we need to talk. There are some things I didn’t have a chance to tell you yesterday.”
“What is it?” I asked.
Maybe he was going to tell me he loved me and all that stuff about having a new girlfriend was just a bad joke.
“I’d rather tell you this face to face. I can pick you up at your parents’ house in thirty minutes.”
I didn’t bother asking how he knew I was living with my parents. “I’m not home.”
The pause on the other end of the line made my skin prickle. “Oh.”
Shit!
“I’m at a friend’s apartment,” I added, hoping he would assume I was referring to Jill.
“Well, I’d really like to see you, but I don’t want to interrupt if you’re busy.”
“I’m not busy. No one’s here. I’ll be waiting out front in an hour.”
I gave him the address to the apartments across the street from Milo’s building and he paused again. Did he know where Milo lived?
“What’s wrong?” I asked, trying not to let my paranoia tinge my voice.
“Nothing. I’ll see you in an hour.”
I shook my head as I set my phone down on the bed where I had just committed unspeakable acts with Milo. I had to wash away this sin. I had to wash away Milo’s scent. It was all over me.
I turned on the shower in his bright-white bathroom. Everything was white except for a dark wooden spa bench inside his huge shower. I tried not to imagine him sitting on the bench getting a blowjob, but it was impossible. Ever since last night, everything about Milo and his apartment screamed sex.
I stepped into the shower and my eyes widened as I glimpsed the array of bath products arranged neatly on the built-in shelves. They were all men’s products. I was going to meet Luke alone for the first time in over a month and I would do it smelling like a man. If he didn’t already suspect I had spent the night with someone then this would surely tip him off.
I used the smallest amount of soap and shampoo I could then quickly exited Milo’s sex shower and toweled off. I grimaced as I pulled on yesterday’s T-shirt and jeans and realized they smelled like Milo. He was inescapable. I did a half-ass blow-dry of my hair and raced outside to stand in front of the apartment building across the street.
Seven minutes later, my mouth went dry as Luke’s car pulled up in front of me. I slid into the passenger seat and, for just a second, I managed to pretend that nothing had ever happened. He was picking me up to go out to dinner or to go sailing.
Then he spoke and the illusion was broken. “Thanks for meeting me.”
His gaze penetrated my T-shirt. He made no effort to stop himself from ogling my chest.
“Hey,” I said, in an attempt to focus his attention.
He looked up and the sheepish grin on his face made me want to lean over and kiss him.
“I guess old habits die hard,” he said, as he pulled out onto the road and set off toward the outskirts.
“Where are we going?”
“Greene’s.”
We hadn’t been to his favorite café since the first and only time he took me there—the time he revealed that I was the only woman he had ever taken to Greene’s. I wondered if that was still true.
“So… How was your visit to San Francisco?” I asked, when the silence became too much.
“I haven’t gone yet.”
He didn’t offer any further explanation. I wanted to admonish him for not visiting his parents as he had promised me he would, but I didn’t have any right to hold him to promises he had made while we were engaged in our sham relationship. But I couldn’t help but wonder if he would have made the trip to San Francisco if we had stayed together. The blast radius of our breakup reached farther than I could have imagined.
Once we were inside the café, wrapped in the cool, coffee-scented air, he pointed toward the empty sofa in the back of the café. “Go ahead and sit down.”
“But you don’t know what I want.”
He pursed his lips. “You’re getting an espresso.”
“Do I not have a choice?”
Frustration flashed across his face as he realized he had lost some of his power over me. He was not pleased.
“Fine. What would you like to drink?”
I smiled. “Double espresso.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Why I ought to.... Go sit down.”
I couldn’t erase the beaming grin from my face as I took a seat on the sofa. He returned quickly with two tiny cups filled with steaming espresso. He placed them both on the coffee table and took a seat next to me, far enough away so we weren’t touching.
“What did you want to talk about?” I asked, as I reached for my espresso.
He placed his hand over mine before I could lift the cup. “Wait a second. You’re going to drink it right this time.”
I gazed at his hand on mine and the longing I had been fighting off the past five weeks returned, making my limbs ache. He pulled his hand back and I didn’t have to look at him to know he had felt it too.
My mind drew back to the last time we sat here, when he reprimanded me for gulping my espresso too quickly. I was wearing a T-shirt and jeans that he had made me wear and he was dressed in a suit, minus the jacket. Everything was the same except this brick wall that had been erected between us. The graffiti on the wall was clear; bold block letters spelling out IT’S OVER.
“Just sip it slowly,” he said.
Why did he care how I sipped the espresso? It’s not as if I would ever come back to this place without him.
I took a sm
all sip of the hot, bitter liquid and flashed him a quick smile. “Mmm....”
“Can you taste it?”
“Taste what?”
He took a sip of his espresso and rolled it around in his mouth before he swallowed. “It’s a little fruity.”
I couldn’t help but think of the time he took me to IHOP and the waitress ogled him as he ate his Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity breakfast. She was probably startled by both his exquisiteness and his enthusiasm for pancakes.
“Fruity, huh?” I asked, unable to hide my smile.
“Stop grinning and take another sip.”
“God, you’re so bossy,” I replied before I took another slow sip.
He watched me eagerly awaiting my reaction. “Well?”
“Is that a hint of caramel I detect?”
“You’re such a nerd,” he said.
The look of admiration on his face warmed my insides more than the coffee.
“Luke?”
His smile faded. “I know.”
Who were we kidding, pretending this was some kind of date?
“What did you want to talk about?”
He took a deep breath as he stared at the espresso cups. “I wanted to talk to you about what happened yesterday.”
“Please, Luke, you don’t have to apologize.”
“It’s not that. It’s just that I didn’t get to say everything I wanted to say.” His gaze shifted away from the coffee table and found my eyes. “Brina… I’m moving.”
“Okay… Where are you moving to?”
He looked down at my knees. “Not far. South Lake Union.”
“I don’t understand. What’s the big deal about the fact that you’re moving? And, what the hell, why can’t you look me in the eye?”
He heaved a deep sigh as he looked up. “I’m moving in with Olivia.”
It couldn’t have hurt more if he had literally punched me in the gut. I shut my eyes. I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t speak. The only word I could even think was “Why?” But I couldn’t ask him that.
“Brina? Please say something.”
“Why...?” I whispered. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I didn’t want you to hear it from someone else.”
I rubbed at the pain in my chest. “Oh, God. I can’t breathe.” I stood up quickly and the darkness in the café was disorienting. “I have to go.”
He shot up from the sofa and grabbed my arm. “Wait. I’ll drive you.”
I wrenched my arm free. “Don’t touch me.”
“Come on, Brina, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you. You don’t deserve that.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you kidding me? That’s what this is about, isn’t it? You’re still trying to get revenge for what I almost did to you. First I’m fired then I make a fool of myself at your fucking conference, but that wasn’t enough. You had to bring me here and flirt with me before you dealt the final blow.” My entire body trembled as I shook my head. “I didn’t think you were capable of this.”
4: LUKE
I was chasing after her for the second time in two days. She dodged a heavyset woman on her way out the door and I cursed as the woman and I did a which-way-are-you-going dance. I finally scooted around her and tore through the door.
“Brina!” I called after her, as she powerwalked through the parking lot toward the sidewalk.
She glared at me over her shoulder and kept walking. I darted across the asphalt and easily caught up to her.
“I would never deliberately hurt you. You know that,” I insisted, as I tried to keep pace with her while also dodging light poles.
She slowed down a bit and her face softened. Maybe it was the fact that she was still wearing the jeans and T-shirt she’d worn to the conference yesterday to see me. Maybe it was the way the snarl on her luscious lips slowly disappeared. Or maybe it was just that I could no longer fight it.
I stepped in front of her, catching her off guard as I took her face in my hands and kissed her. Her hands clutched the front of my shirt as she leaned into me. I breathed in her scent and I had to fight the urge to pull away from her as her tongue sought mine. She smelled like a man, but I couldn’t bring myself to break the connection. I kissed her hungrily, savoring the faint taste of coffee and lip-gloss.
She finally pushed me away, panting as she stared at my chest looking dazed as hell. “What are you doing?”
I tilted her chin up and looked her in the eye. “Come home with me.”
Her mouth opened and I watched intently, anticipating a shrieking no. I brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes and she closed her eyes as she leaned into my hand.
“I want to, but I’m so confused,” she whispered.
“I know you spent the night with Milo last night. And I’d be lying if I said I’m not jealous as hell, but I don’t want to mess anything up for you. And I really don’t want to hurt you. But I fucking miss you. I do. I can’t stop fucking thinking about you.” I curled my arm around her waist and pulled her body against mine.
A slow smile formed on her lips as I stiffened against her. “I’ve missed you so much.”
I planted a soft kiss on her lips. “I’ve missed you more.”
“No you haven’t.”
“Stop arguing and come home with me so I can prove it to you.”
She breathed a long sigh before she nodded.
The entire car ride to my house was a practice in self-control as I had to keep my eyes on the road instead of on her sexy body. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to pull over and consume her.
What was I doing? I was twelve days away from moving in with Olivia. I’d already signed the fucking lease. This was not like me. But I couldn’t let Brina go home knowing the last man to touch her was Milo Yates. I had to erase the memory of him from her mind and body.
I pulled through the gate at my bungalow; the bungalow I’d loved and put so much work into for three years. I parked the car and paused for a moment. My gaze skimmed over her from the top of her head down to her shoes. Fuck. Just the sight of her got me hard.
A crease formed on her brow. “What is this? What are we doing?”
“What do you want this to be?” I grabbed her hand and I could feel her flinch a little, though she didn’t pull away. “I’ll do whatever you want. Anything.”
“Anything?”
I gritted my teeth against the voice in my head that told me I was making a huge mistake. I was going to regret hurting Olivia. She saved me from myself these past few weeks when all I wanted to do was drown in a barrel of bourbon. She helped me pull off the biggest conference of my career. Right now, she was sitting at Brina’s old desk thinking I was at a lunch meeting. Olivia was the kind of woman I needed. She was stable. But there was no doubt in my mind that Brina was the woman I wanted.
“I don’t know what I want this to be,” she replied, and I tried not to appear stunned. “But I know what I want today.”
She crawled across the console and climbed into my lap. She kissed me as I slid my under her T-shirt and over the smooth skin on her back. She unbuttoned my shirt and I tore it off, quickly followed by my undershirt. She pulled her T-shirt off as I unbuttoned her jeans.
They way her breasts bloomed over the top of her lacy black bra drove me crazy. I kissed her breast as my fingers worked the clasp. I unfastened the hook and tossed her bra onto the passenger seat as I took her nipple into my mouth. The soft flesh hardened on my tongue as I gently sucked and licked her.
I kept my arm wrapped firmly around her waist as I slid my hand down the front of her jeans. My finger slid between her slick folds and she gasped as I found her stiff nub. She trembled as I kissed her neck and massaged her clit in a slow circular motion. I kissed her jaw then moved up to her mouth, breathing in her moans as she rocked against my hand.
“Oh, my God,” she whispered. “I’m gonna come.”
I slid my hand out of her panties and smiled at the look of disappointment on her face. “Not yet.
Come inside.”
She groaned as she pulled on her T-shirt and scooped her bra off the seat. I left my shirt off as we got out of the car and made our way inside the house. I tossed my keys onto the table in the foyer and hooked my finger through the belt loop on the back of her jeans as she began to walk further inside.
She glanced over her shoulder at me. “What are you doing?”
“We’re not going to the bedroom.” I pulled her toward me so her back was flat against my chest and my cock was pressed against her ass. I slid my hand over her soft belly and inside her waistband as I kissed her ear. “We’re going outside.”
She sighed as she leaned back, pressing herself into me. “I can’t take much more of this.”
I laughed as I ran my fingers over the short patch of hair over her mound. “You let it grow out like I asked.”
She drew in a sharp breath as my hand slid further down. She grabbed my wrist and yanked my hand out of her panties. “That’s enough.” She turned around and placed her hands flat against my chest. “You, me, outside, now.”
“We’ve evolved to caveman grunts, have we?” I said, teasing her as I grabbed her hand and pulled her down the corridor on our left toward the side entrance.
“What can I say? You stimulate my lizard brain,” she said, flicking her tongue at me.
“Your lizard brain?”
“Yeah, my medulla oblongata.”
“God damn, that’s sexy. Say it again.”
“Medulla oblongata.”
I opened the storm door on the side of the house and smacked her softly on the ass as she passed me. “Nerd.”
5: BRINA
He led me down a flagstone staircase toward the terraced Japanese garden on the hillside. The first level of the garden featured a koi pond fed by a small waterfall. A red wooden bench next to the pond matched the red wooden staircase that curved down to the next level of the terraced garden. The smell of bamboo, jasmine, and pond water were intoxicating.
I followed him into a red pagoda on this level and was not at all surprised to find a white cocoon hammock as big as a queen-sized bed covered in fluffy pillows, layers of sheer fabric tumbling around the hammock in an ethereal canopy.