“Where are you going? It’s five-forty a.m.”
His voice was gruff and thick with sleep and I found it so very sexy.
“I’m thirsty,” I whispered.
He shifted sideways and slid out from underneath me. “Stay right here. I’ll get you some water.”
Through the darkness, I could see he was still wearing his T-shirt and jeans and a spark of shame worsened my headache as I suddenly remembered begging him to lie with me. I wanted to get up and leave, but he told me to stay put. I desperately needed a shower. I was lying in Luke’s clean, expensive sheets wearing yesterday’s makeup, my grass-stained jeans, and Jill’s sweaty jersey.
Luke returned with a glass of water in one hand and his other hand balled up in a fist. He handed me the glass then held out some pills in his other hand. This would be a great opportunity to make a joke about date rape drugs, but it was bad timing.
“Thanks,” I said, as I took the pills from his hand and gulped them down with the entire glass of water.
He sat next to me on the edge of the bed and the mattress sunk down pulling me toward him. I wanted to slip my hands under his shirt and caress the smooth skin on his back, but I kept my fingers locked around the glass to stop myself. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees and he looked like a man with the weight of the universe pressing down on his shoulders.
I set the glass on the nightstand and sat up on my knees behind him. “Luke there’s something I need to say... as your friend, and I hope you don’t take this the wrong way because it needs to be said.”
“Do your worst. Nothing you can say could possibly be worse than as your friend.”
“Very funny.” I took a deep breath and continued. “You need to visit your dad.”
His silence told me I had chipped away a small chunk of whatever was weighing heavy on him.
I shivered as I anticipated my next sentence. “Luke, he’s sick. You’re going to regret not going if....” I tried to push aside the tidal force wave of regret that I’d been drowning in for eight months. I couldn’t say it. “You have to go.”
He turned his head so I could at least see the side of his face. “It’s just so much more complicated than that.”
“Six weeks ago you promised me you’d go. What’s changed?” Other than everything between us.
“I’m just not in the mood to be rejected again.”
I didn’t know if he was implying that he felt rejected by me because this timeout thing was his idea. I stuffed my hands between my thighs to keep myself from touching him because that wasn’t what he needed. I knew what he needed and it terrified me.
My mind drew back to the first time I visited the Golden Gate Bridge after Ryan’s death. My clothes disheveled, my makeup smeared, eyes swollen. As I walked the length of the bridge, I kept expecting someone to realize why I was there, but all I got was a few looks of pity and disgust—until I saw him. A tiny Asian man, his hair being tossed every which way by the bitter November breeze. He gazed at me in wonderment as we approached each other. When he was just a few feet away eyes crinkled and his lips curled in the most honest smile I’d ever seen.
Every day, for six days, I went back to the bridge hoping to work up the courage to jump. I wanted so desperately to know if Ryan had found peace on the way down because I knew that I would never find peace without him. Every day, I passed the same man and every day he smiled at me.
“I’ll go with you,” I barely whispered, my promise strangled by the painful lump in my throat.
“What?”
I shoved his side. “Look at me.” He turned his head slightly and I shoved him again. “Turn around and look me in the eye.” I could feel a tremble building in my chest and I knew if I didn’t do this now I would lose my nerve.
He turned his body and, through the vague silver light shining through the windows I could see the severe look in his eyes.
“If you go, I’ll go with you.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don’t have to. I want to.” At some point, that sentence might be true. Until then, I’d fake it because that’s what friends do.
“You know how many times I’ve imagined introducing you to my parents,” he begins, and I can hear the excitement in his voice. “I know my mom is going to love you.”
My chest filled with a warm sensation that spread through my arms and down to my fingertips.
To hell with it.
I threw my arms around his neck and he pulled me into his lap as I pressed my cheek against his warm neck. I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent as his arms tightened around my waist. He nuzzled his face in my hair and it would have been so easy to just turn my face a little and press my lips to his neck, but I didn’t. Instead, I squeezed him tighter, trying not to think of how my breasts were mashed against his chest and how I wished there wasn’t four layers of clothing between us.
He let out a soft chuckle as he slid me off his waist and back onto the bed. “Well, now that you’ve got that off your chest, I have something I want to ask you, too.” He knelt on the floor and my heart stuttered as he took my hand in his. “Brina, will you... go to IHOP with me today?”
I smacked his hand away and he laughed as I scooted back on the bed. “You and your fucking pancakes!” I tucked myself back under the covers and pulled the comforter over my head. “I’m going back to sleep. I have a headache.”
“Hey, you don’t need to use that headache line with me.”
He sat on the edge of the bed again and he laughed as I pushed him off with my feet. “All right, all right, we won’t have pancakes today.” I pulled the cover off my head and watched as he rounded the foot of the bed and got back under the covers with me. “Don’t you want to get out of those dirty clothes? I have a bunch of T-shirts you can borrow.”
“Oh, I’ll bet you do.”
“I am the T-shirt Nazi.”
I shook my head. “Beating me to the punch today, huh?”
He reached up and ruffled my hair, which was probably already a mess. “I’ll be right back.”
The sun was starting to come up as he disappeared through the door that led to the master bathroom and I realized, as a relaxed feeling washed over me, that I was having more fun sitting here talking to Luke than I’d had in a very long time.
I sat up, threw the blanket off, and stared through the gray morning light at the grass stains on my jeans. What the heck was he doing in the bathroom? I had to leave. I needed a good long shower and more sleep. Thank goodness it was Sunday. I could take a day off from job-hunting on Sundays.
I stood from the bed and my head throbbed as I searched the floor for my sneakers. The bathroom door opened and the sound of water running made me look up.
Luke was standing in the doorway with a sneaky smile on his face. “Come in here.”
I joined him in the bathroom and was immediately hit with a cloud of steam that smelled just like Luke. “What is this?”
A large sunken bathtub at the far end of the room was nearly overflowing with bubbles and steaming water. He turned the water off and nodded toward the tub.
“There are some T-shirts in that closet,” he said, pointing at a glass door in the wall to the left of the tub. “Go ahead and relax for as long as you want. I’m gonna go out and get you my best hangover cure.”
“Are you serious? You’re going to leave me here alone?”
“Do I need to hire a babysitter for you for the next thirty minutes?”
“Just stay and I’ll go with you. If it’s just thirty minutes, you can wait. Or, better yet, that’s an awful big bathtub. I’ll bet you could fit two people in there.”
He lowered his gaze to my breasts for a split second before he smiled. “You think I’m going to cave, but I’m not.”
“Oh, really. Not even if I start undressing right here.”
I peeled off my jersey and he continued to grin and glance at my chest. I slipped out of my tank top and his smile faded
, but only slightly.
He leaned against the countertop behind him and he allowed his eyes to roam linger on the swell of my breasts. “Keep going. This is a good test of my willpower.”
I unhooked my bra and tossed it aside and his chest heaved as each breath came harder. I unbuttoned my jeans and his smile disappeared as I pushed them down along with my panties. I stepped out of the jeans and looked directly into his eyes. He met my gaze straight on, his gorgeous blue eyes full of a ravenous hunger.
“You’re worth waiting for,” he said, as he broke eye contact and left the room.
I sighed as I stepped down into the sunken tub. The water was deliciously warm and the feeling of it only made me hornier. I waited a couple of minutes until I was certain he was gone before I decided I’d have to relieve the ache between my legs myself.
I slid my hand under the water and between my thighs. I teased my clit lightly, imagining it was Luke’s skillful tongue, but the water washed away my slickness and my finger kept skidding roughly across the sensitive skin. I had to get out of this water. I squirted a bunch of body wash all over my hair and body then quickly scrubbed away yesterday’s sporting activity. Now I smelled all clean and woodsy, like Luke, which only made me crave him even more.
I hit the button to drain the water and climbed out onto the dark wooden deck that surrounded the tub. I snatched the towel Luke had left for me and was not at all surprised to find that it was the softest Turkish cotton towel I’d ever touched. I dried my body and wrapped the towel around my hair before I grabbed one of Luke’s T-shirts out of the linen closet. Then I made my way back to the bedroom to scratch a deep itch.
I pulled the towel out of my hair and tossed it onto the foot of the bed with Luke’s shirt then laid down on top of the silky comforter. I closed my eyes and lightly caressed my ribs before I cupped my breast in my hand and tweaked the nipple, imagining Luke’s warm mouth sucking gently.
I moaned as I slid my other hand down my belly, over the soft patch of hair I’d grown for Luke, and into my already slick folds. I continued to tease my nipple as I slid my finger inside me, gathering my wetness and sliding out again. I imagined Luke licking his way up to my clit and planting a soft kiss there, the way he did when he teased me.
“Oh, Luke,” I whispered, and a soft thud fell on my ears.
My eyes flew open and Luke was standing in the doorway, a paper bag of groceries toppled over at his feet.
“Oh, my God!” I cried, as I closed my legs and turned onto my stomach to hide my face in his pillow. “This is so embarrassing.”
“More like so fucking hot. Why’d you stop?”
I huffed into the damp pillow, attempting to catch my breath as my heart pounded against my chest.
“Brina, please do me a favor and finish what you were doing.”
His voice was closer now, almost at the side of the bed. I turned my head and looked up at him shamefully. His eyes pleaded with me to continue as he knelt on the floor next to me. A bolt of excitement shot between my legs and I slowly turned over onto my back.
He smiled and nodded. “I want you to scream my name when you come.”
His eyes followed my hand as it slid over my breast and down my stomach. He licked his lips when I reached my clit and slowly, gently began to tease it. Pleasure surged through my core and all throughout my body. My hips bucked against my hand as I pushed myself closer toward an orgasm that was already so close.
“Fuck,” he whispered. “You are so fucking beautiful.”
I gasped as my legs began to quiver. “Oh, Luke.”
“Scream it.”
I sucked in a deep breath as I curled in on myself then arched my back. “Luke! Oh, yes, Luke! Yes, yes, yes!”
I collapsed on the mattress, my breath hard and ragged, my legs squirming with the remains of the blissful energy that just shot through me. Luke’s gaze roamed over my belly and breast, skimmed over my lips, then landed on my eyes. The longing in his eyes wasn’t just the desire to touch me; he wanted to say something. I could see it in the gulp in his throat and the muscle twitching in his jaw.
I reached for his face and he grabbed my hand. He brought my fingers to his mouth and brushed my finger, the finger I had touched myself with, over his top lip before he set my hand back down on the bed. He licked his lips and stood up slowly and silently before he disappeared into the bathroom. The distinct sound of water running came again, but this time it was the shower.
I let out a deep sigh and quickly got dressed in my jeans and Luke’s T-shirt then left before he could stop me.
4: BRINA
I dug my phone out of my purse after I pulled into the Starbucks parking lot and saw seven text messages and four voicemails. I checked the texts first and responded to Jill that we were indeed still on for dinner at that new barbecue restaurant. Another text from my mom asked if I was all right and I called her to assure her I was still alive. The last text was from Milo and simply said: Call me. I dialed his number as I turned off my car and he picked up on the first ring.
“How’s my favorite unemployed spy?” he asked, and the electronic music in the background told me he was probably driving in his Prius.
“Is there a female equivalent for blue-balls?” I asked, as I gathered my purse off the passenger seat again and began digging for some lip balm and a hair tie to hide my unruly hair.
It was bad enough I was going out in public wearing grass-stained jeans and a T-shirt that was five sizes too big. I had to at least pretend I care, a little bit.
“Ouch! I take it you and Bill Gates, Jr. aren’t back on the road to a shotgun wedding?”
I tilted the rearview mirror down as I pulled my hair back. “We’re taking a break, or a timeout as he likes to call it. No sex for thirty days so we can get to know each other.”
The background music stopped. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“Oh, how I wish. It’s been a day and I’m going out of my fucking mind.”
“Okay, I didn’t need to hear that.”
I sighed as I leaned my head back against the headrest. “I don’t know what to do to make this easier.”
“I can think of something”
“Not going to happen, Milo.”
“Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about a wager.”
“A wager?”
“Yeah, a bet. I’ll bet you that you won’t last thirty days without raping Luke. A hundred bucks.”
“One hundred dollars is a lot of money to an unemployed person.”
“Then we’d better make it a thousand.”
“Are you actually trying to motivate me to complete this challenge? You want me to succeed?”
“I’m not that selfless. I’m trying to motivate you to not have sex because that would be bad… for me.”
“Oh.” Suddenly, the air inside my car got way too hot and stuffy without my air conditioning and the June sunshine beating down on the windows. “Hey, are you busy tonight?”
“No. Why?”
“Meet me at that new barbecue restaurant near the NeoSys office at eight.”
“Again, why?”
I was not the type to set up my friends, especially not my best friend with someone I’d slept with, but Jill had already asked about Milo and I needed him to get over me. This would be the perfect opportunity to introduce them. I’d just have to hope that his enormous cock didn’t break her tiny Asian body in half.
My other line beeped and I glanced at the screen. It was Luke.
“Shit! I have to take another call. Just meet me there at eight. Bye!” I took a deep breath then hit the button to switch the call. “Hey!” Somehow, I doubted that came across as casual.
“Why’d you take off? Is this becoming too much for you?”
His voice was so fucking smooth. It filled my insides with a deep, warm ache.
“Yes, this is getting a little intense. I had to leave before I threw you down right there in the shower.”
“That?
??s good. It means it’s working.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Luke, it’s been one day. Of course we’re pining for each other right now. That doesn’t mean that in two weeks we’re not going to completely lose interest and go our separate ways. Is this really worth it?”
“Brina, we were apart for six weeks before we had really fucking amazing sex yesterday. I think we can manage four more.” He paused for a moment. “Listen, I know I’m not supposed to say stuff like this, and we should definitely not do what we just did before you left, but to say that I love you would be the fucking understatement of the century. So I think you need this more than I do, which is why I’m not giving in. I want you to be certain about me the way I am about you.”
“I am certain about you.”
“You were just telling me you’re worried about losing interest after two weeks. That doesn’t sound very certain.”
God damn it! Why do you even open my mouth before I’ve had coffee?
“Okay. I’ll do it. And no more touching myself in front of you, even if you beg me to do it. I’m going to show you that I’m the one who’s more serious about us. I swear. No more funny business.”
I could feel him smiling on the other end of the line and it infuriated me.
“Where are you?” he asked after a short pause.
“I’m in the Starbucks parking lot. I’ve got the shakes. I need caffeine.”
“What are you wearing?”
“I’m hanging up now.” His laughter crackled through the speaker and I shook my head as I hit the END button.
5: LUKE
The last thing I wanted to do on a perfectly fine Sunday was call my parents to schedule a visit. So I didn’t call them.
“Hello?”
My sister’s voice sounded thick as if she were crying.