My heart crumples in on itself and nosedives right into my hollow stomach. “You… you…” I can’t manage to finish my sentence. All at once I’m feeling humiliated, jealous, and seething with anger. Despite the cold, my face is burning up. My gaze flicks over to Tasha, catching the look of sympathy she’s giving me. It’s clear she already knew about Willa and Dax.
Willa smirks as I take off across the pitch towards the street. Screw practice. I can’t look at that bitch without wanting to kick her teeth in, and I certainly don’t want anyone to see me break down and cry, which is exactly what happens the minute I get out of sight.
My throat is tight and my tongue feels thick as I run in my footy boots. Past broken down cars, past abandoned buildings, past the shoddy cornershop where filthy dossers try to scam you out of your money—not that anyone round here has any.
I hate bloody Hackney! Living in London’s worst, most crime-ridden neighborhood can suck the life out of you if you let it. Mine’s not been sucked out. It’s been hoovered out by Dax Davies and his man-whore ways.
By the time I reach my dingy flat, my lungs are burning and tears cover my freezing cheeks. I might be hurt, but I’m also determined. I head straight for a pile of scholarship applications with a singular purpose.
To get the hell out of Hackney so I can forget all about Dax Davies.
“What?”
I literally can’t believe what I’m hearing. When I look into Ellie’s large blue eyes, I know she’s not lying
“Adam was stabbed, Kate.” She sniffs and tries to hold back tears. How did I not notice that my best friend was falling apart? Her eyes are swollen and red-rimmed. There are dark circles beneath them telling me she hasn’t been sleeping well. Her nails are chewed down to stubs, and frankly, she just looks exhausted.
“How? I mean why? Hell—I have no idea what to say, El.”
I feel like a total failure as a friend. After Willa enlightened me to Dax’s extracurricular activities, I had to know if Ellie was another notch on his headboard. Apparently, I love to torture myself. What she confesses instead literally renders me speechless.
“I still don’t understand. What does Adam being stabbed have to do with Dax walking you home every day?”
Ellie sighs, flopping back on my bed. Our families live in the same crappy council flats, so we tend to see each other a lot, usually to walk to school, but sometimes for a chat. When I invited her over to gently finagle some information out of her about her after school walks with Dax, I had no idea she was going to drop a bomb of this magnitude in my lap. Make that two bombs—Adam was stabbed and Ellie was attacked.
“It’s a long story, Kate.” Ellie’s eyes glisten with moisture and her lip begins to quiver. My best friend is falling to pieces and all I can think about is my selfish desire to get with Dax.
Some friend I am.
I lay back on the bed next to El, taking her trembling hand in mine. “I’m here to listen, El. Tell me everything.”
I am floored, literally gob smacked by Ellie’s story. Right when the school term started, Callum Murray attacked her in a vacant lot and the only reason she wasn’t defiled was because Adam and Dax intervened at the last second. They beat the crap out of Callum and his mate Ryan, which explains why Callum is holding a grudge against Ellie. And why Callum and Ryan looked so banged up a few weeks ago.
To keep Ellie safe from Callum, Adam made an arrangement with his drug-dealing brother Danny. Everyone at school knows about Danny and his criminal activities. Heck, half the kids buy from him. In exchange, Adam had to run Danny’s drugs for him. That’s when Adam was jumped, Danny’s drugs and money nicked, and Adam left for dead.
Dax has taken Adam’s place in walking Ellie home every day so Callum won’t try to get her again when no one is looking. I always knew that Callum Murray was a complete prick. I’m glad Adam and Dax hurt him. Now I feel about two feet tall for thinking Ellie was hooking up with Dax. Clearly, she loves Adam. The expression on her face can only be described as heartbroken.
“I know you fancy Dax, Kate.”
I blink rapidly, opening and closing my mouth like a fish at the abrupt change in topic to focus on my embarrassing lack of a love life. Ellie’s eyes bore into mine, open and honest. There’s no use denying it. Not to my best mate. Especially not after she opened up to me like she did.
I shrink back, the weight of everything pressing down on my body. “Yeah. Since we were kids.”
Ellie scoots to lie on her side, propping her head up on one hand. “Why haven’t you ever talked to him?”
I snort. “Right. Chat up Dax Davies. Okay, El.” The familiar cracks in the ceiling distract me enough to keep the tears at bay.
Her brows pull together as she stares at me. “I know he acts like he has no soul,” she giggles, “but honestly, he’s a nice bloke. Give me a good reason why you won’t talk to him?”
“Would you walk up to Adam and chat him up?”
Her cheeks redden and her gaze drops to my faded quilt. “I did. On the first day of school. He yelled at me for looking at his sketchbook. It was humiliating.”
I can’t help it. The laughter bubbles out uncontrollably. Soon, Ellie joins in and it feels great to be able to have some tiny bit of joy in our lives when it seems everything around us seems to be crumbling to dust.
Dax
“So we’re going to have a practice this Saturday morning at the DK. That way we can see how we sound in the pub for the gig that night.”
I nod at Adam as he goes on and on about the band. This is only his second week back at school after missing a week recuperating from being stabbed. He looks better, not great, but functional. He can’t fool me with his happy act. I’ve known him too long, plus, I’m an expert at hiding pain, having been busted up in the cage many, many times. I know all the signs. Adam is in agony, but he’s a passionate bastard, unwilling to let anything keep him from his music—or from Ellie. And since she’s at school, that’s where he wants to be.
“Right. Gavin and Hawke seem to fit in okay.”
Adam frowns when I mention the two Americans that have joined up to complete our band, Gavin Walker a blonde bloke who looks more like a posh model than a bass player, and Hawke Evans, a tattooed, pierced drummer with a geek chic fetish.
I’m about to tell Adam for the millionth time that he doesn’t have to worry about Gavin or Hawke making a move on Ellie because I already threatened them both within an inch of their lives, when a warm, curvy body presses up against my back, long fingers reaching out to wrap tightly around my arm.
“Dax, when are you going to let me have another go at you, you sexy thing?”
I don’t bother to turn around in the crowded school hallway. It doesn’t matter who’s whispering in my ear because the answer I give would be exactly the same.
“Never, so bugger off.” I shake whoever’s hand it is off of my arm and stay silent until the girl takes the hint and leaves.
A glance at Adam shows him covering his mouth, trying not to laugh. Fuck him. Maybe he likes to stay friends with his shags, but not me. They serve a purpose—one purpose—to get me off during my dad-sanctioned weeks. After that, I don’t need them for anything else.
Rule 4—Women who act like slags can be treated like slags.
That’s what Adam doesn’t understand. Any girl willing to disrespect herself by getting to her knees the second you meet isn’t worth the effort it takes to be nice. In trying so hard to not be a bastard like his father, Adam’s kindness has the potential to be easily taken advantage of. If nothing else, my dad was right to teach me that lesson.
“You’re such a cold bastard, Dax.”
“I know. You could learn a thing or two.”
“No thanks,” he says dryly.
“Adam!”
I follow Adam’s gaze to see Ellie hurrying towards us, towing a friend by the hand. Ellie immediately latches on to Adam, prattling on about something or other. Tuning out the happy couple, I take a momen
t to check out Ellie’s friend, Kate. I’ve seen her around, mostly with Ellie, but she’s in my maths class as well. In fact, now that I think about it, we’ve been in school together a long time.
The fact that I didn’t remember her until now makes me frown, which in turn, makes Kate’s eyes go wide with fear. The girl is fiddling with her hair, pulling it up into a ponytail. She’s clearly uncomfortable around me, so, being the heartless prick that I am, I decide to make it worse.
“You’re Kate.”
When impossibly green eyes shoot up to meet mine, big and innocent looking, all of the smartass comments I have at the ready fall away. Smooth, lightly freckled skin flushes pink and full lips part, making my cock sit up and take notice. It’s then I realize I’ve never really looked at Kate before.
How did I not see how gorgeous this girl is? She’s not obvious or flashy—no, she’s very… girl next door. Sporty and fit with tawny brown hair always pulled up on her head, showing off two very high cheekbones. I’m surprised how affected I am by her. My heart has begun thumping hard and my palms are sweaty. How angry would Adam be if I shagged Ellie’s best friend?
Probably very. Not that I care much what he thinks.
While I’m thinking of how she looks naked, she gathers herself together and answers my question. “Yes. I’m Kate.” Shit, even her voice affects me—soft and slightly scratchy in a sexy kind of way. Now my dick is throbbing, pressing uncomfortably against my zipper. I need to hear that voice again.
“I’m Dax. You’re in my maths class.”
Those emerald eyes get even wider and her jaw hangs open. “How do you know who I am?”
Huh?
“Why wouldn’t I know who you are? Haven’t we been in the same year for ages?” I furrow my brow, trying to decide if I’m thinking of a different girl. But no, it’s her, I’m sure of it.
“Y-y-yes. Since third year.”
I hold back a smile, keeping my cool exterior. At least I got that right. “Well then, apparently I’m not as stupid as some might say.”
Kate’s fingers untwist from her hair, settling on her hips. Lush, ruby lips turn down in the corners and her eyes narrow. She looks downright offended. “Who says you’re stupid? You’re in my advanced maths class, so I know that can’t be true.”
For once in my life I’m speechless. No one ever gives me the benefit of the doubt or defends my intelligence. Do I bother explaining to her that most people associate a big, muscled guy with an empty skull? Add in the underground fighting and they assume I’ve taken enough hits to the head to be rendered daft and dumb.
No one talks about it, but the teachers here know what I do—what my dad’s business is. I am the fourth Davies son at this school after all and they treat me accordingly. They don’t even bat an eye at the bruises anymore.
I tilt my chin to look down at her. Kate’s not at my eye level, but for a girl, she’s fairly tall—maybe five foot seven or eight? In those eyes, eyes as green as the stripes on the Davies family tartan, I see something I haven’t seen on a girl’s face in… well, ever. Admiration? Respect, maybe? Is it possible Kate respects me? That she sees past my intimidating exterior to the man beneath the brawn? That she sees more than just a conquest to brag to her friends about?
One of dad’s rules pops into my head.
Rule 2—Never let your emotions show.
I lock down the surprise on my face, keeping it to its usual icy façade.
What if she doesn’t like what she finds? I don’t know why I care, but suddenly, I don’t want Kate to know about the fighting, the girls, my family… those goddamn rules. For the first time in my life I’m not proud of my wins, of all the girls I’ve shagged or had suck me off at the club or behind the school. For once, I’m truly ashamed of what I am.
Kate
“They never stop, yeah?” Dax’s elbow gently pokes my ribs.
I tear my eyes away from Adam and Ellie, who are cuddling up close on the bench across the table from my seat. Heat rushes into my cheeks at the fact that Dax caught me ogling my friend making out with her boyfriend.
“No,” I admit.
Dax frowns at my one word response. He’s probably sick to death of being forced to hang out with me. I’m so intimidated by him that I can’t ever manage to say more than a few words when he’s around. My hands never feel comfortable, so I’m extra fidgety. Especially when those dark eyes are fixed on me. Like they are right now.
“Did you want another cuppa?” He motions to his empty mug.
“Sure. Decaf—”
“With milk. I know.”
I have no response. Dax Davies knows how I take my tea! I’m such a social idiot. Dax will never want to be near me again if I keep acting like such a prat.
“Where’d Dax go?” Adam asks.
“Oh, so you’ve stopped snogging long enough to notice your best mate is missing?” I snap. Catching the hurt on Ellie’s face, I quickly apologize. “Sorry, Adam. I’m out of sorts today.”
Ellie’s eyes flick over to where Dax is waiting in line at our favorite café, then back to mine. I caution her with a look, praying she doesn’t say anything about Dax to let on that I like him.
When he slides back into the booth next to me, my left thigh and arm ignite where we touch. My body reacts instantly. My heart fluttering as if it’s going to fly out of my chest and my breathing becomes fast and erratic.
It’s so embarrassing to have such little control over my body whenever Dax is around, especially if he’s touching me, which doesn’t happen often. My face is certain to be five shades of red right now, pointing out my ridiculous infatuation with him like a blinking neon sign.
Dax leans in, unknowingly unleashing the overwhelming power of his beautiful yet utterly masculine face. His perfect, curved mouth is only inches away from mine. Those lips, soft looking yet surrounded by a rough late day stubble, are so tempting, I’m about to close the gap and see if they taste as good as they look.
“At least they’ve stopped swapping saliva long enough to have a bit of air, yeah?” he stage whispers conspiratorially.
My breath stutters, then I burst out laughing at his unexpected humor. Dax joins me while Adam and Ellie pretend to be offended.
And just like that I’m irreversibly hooked on my drug of choice, Dax Davies.
Dax
“Dax! Do you need me to tape your hands?”
Shaking my head, I remain seated on the rickety bench in the tiny club locker room, not answering my brother, Shaun, as I methodically wind the hand wrap through my fingers. The sharp scent of sweat and menthol sports rub stings my nostrils.
“If you want to win, then you need to—”
“Shaun,” I snap. “Sod off! If I want you to do them or hear your advice, I’ll bloody ask!”
Anger clouds his face. I know I’m pushing it with Shaun. A quick glance at his fisted hands lets me know that he’s itching for a fight. He’s the hot head of the family. Loves everything about this place—the fighting, the women, the money, and the thrill of doing something illegal.
“You’re bloody lucky you’re fighting tonight, or else I’d fuck you up for speaking to me like that.” His dark eyes are cold, lacking any kindness. His twin, Liam, is completely opposite him in personality even though they look identical. I’m truly shocked they get along so well.
“Whatever Shaun. Just tell me when it’s time.”
My brother grinds his jaw, the muscles twitching under the light stubble on his face. Without another word, he turns and leaves.
“Fuck.” I exhale loudly and drag a wrapped hand down my face. Picking a fight with Shaun is not smart. The man is ruthless, explosive, and doesn’t care if you’re family when he starts swinging.
I know I’m being a whingy prick, but I don’t want to be here. After spending the past week hanging out with Kate via Adam and Ellie, chatting about out mutual love of Arsenal football, I’ve begun to resent my dad and this whole fucking scene. More so than usual. I really want to
shag her, more than any girl before, but if I’m honest with myself, I could see myself dating someone like Kate. Exclusive dating, something I’ve never even considered before.
There’s something about Kate that’s different than the tarts that normally chat me up—something that makes her better than them. She’s much too good for a bloke like me. I’ll end up fucking it all to hell somehow, I’m sure. Yet, she makes me want to take all the rules and toss them out the window.
Fighting was never my choice, yet I always thought it was something to be proud of—being fit, winning matches, getting the attention of loads of girls—my rewards. Now, the fighting is like a noose around my neck, pulling tight and holding me back when I want to be free to be with Kate. I want to be the one who decides.
All my life I’ve been playing by my father’s rules. Now it’s time to do what I want, when I want, who I want.
And I want her.
CHAPTER 3
Kate
“C’mon. It’ll be fun! Just this once take a break from studying, El. It’s Saturday night.” My best mate stares at me as if I’ve grown a second head. “Please?” I beg. “I’ve come all this way to see you, don’t make me sad.”
“All this way? Rubbish. You walked a single flight of stairs from your flat to mine,” she huffs with a smile. I grin, knowing I’ve won. Ellie rolls her eyes. “Fine. But if I fail chemistry, it’s your fault.” Ellie shuts her book, stuffing it into her bag.
“Thanks! I’ll love you forever.” I wrap her up in a big hug.
“You’ll love me forever anyway,” she laughs. “You don’t have to pay me favors.”
“True.” I let go, pushing her towards her wardrobe. “Now, get changed. We don’t want to miss any of the show.”
“Alright, alright! Give me a minute.”