“You want me to do it?” I said.
I knew how she felt about crowds… about people in general. This wouldn’t be the first time that Lana had to run errands and I took over for her. Plus, I was hungry and the quicker we got out of here and to the nearest restaurant, the better.
I expected Lana to hand them over. But her grip tightened on the papers. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said.
She looked out the window, at the looming building next to us. I looked with her. While people walked quickly to their cars or into stores to get away from the heat, this building stood tall in the humid weather. Above the revolving doors, in black letters, was the company name and I finally understood her hesitance.
I turned to face her. “Max works here?”
She nodded slowly.
“And you’re concerned why?” I smiled. “Lana, I’ve met the guy once. That’s it. There’s nothing to be worried about.”
“But… Lachlan. You haven’t talked to him in days.”
I threw my hands up in the air. “Why are you suddenly bringing him up? You hardly talk about Lachlan. In fact, I don’t think you ever have up until a few days ago! There’s nothing wrong with not talking to him,” I replied.
Lana didn’t look convinced and I’m sure I wasn’t doing a good job at keeping my emotions out of my eyes. Every time Lachlan’s name was mentioned I felt a deep pain slash through me.
“Just give me the documents,” I said quietly. “I’ll hand them over to his secretary or one of his co-workers or whoever the hell is here and be on my way.”
Lana didn’t say anything.
“Or you can deliver them,” I suggested.
Lana placed the papers into my outstretched hand. Before I got out of the car I looked at her one last time. She was staring out the window, her lips pressed into a thin line.
“It’s not a big deal, okay?” I said. “Max is just one guy. That’s it.”
“Okay, okay.”
I waited for her to smile. No one smiled like Lana. It transformed her face. She went from being somber and quiet, to someone so beautiful it made you want to do a double take.
But she didn’t smile at me.
I opened my door, knowing this conversation wasn’t over. Not in the least.
“His office is on the seventh floor,” Lana called out.
I gave her a thumbs-up and walked into the blistering heat. If I stayed out here longer than five minutes I was liable to start melting. The heat made everything in the far distance blurry, almost pixilated. I’m surprised steam wasn’t rising from the sidewalks.
Only a few steps away were the revolving doors. I couldn’t stop staring at them and I couldn’t stop my mind from conjuring up the image of Max.
I heard his silent toast echo in my ears: Get Ready.
And even in this scalding heat, I shivered.
Taking a deep breath, I followed Lana’s directions and crossed the main lobby. My flip-flops sounded against the black granite floors. I signed in, grabbed a visitor card, and went right to the elevator. I was surrounded by men in suits. They spoke quietly on their cell phones or to each other. I stared at my reflection in the elevator doors and knew that I stood out in my white short shorts, and green racerback tank.
The doors finally slid open. I pressed seven. My fingers drummed against my thigh as I watched the numbers flash above me. It was crazy, but I was starting to get nervous. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. Maybe Lana was right.
2, 3, 4…
I took a deep shaky breath.
5, 6…
My grip tightened on the papers.
7…
The doors slid open to a typical office. Plush, black chairs against the wall. Black and white pictures of high-rise buildings. Magazines on the end tables. Green plants placed throughout the space. Right in the middle of the room was the secretary’s desk, with a pretty brunette behind it.
I put one foot in front of the other.
Get this done and get out of here, I said to myself.
The brunette looked up. She gave me a friendly smile. But she took in my dress code and her smile waned. I couldn’t really blame her for judging. I looked at the name on the counter. Sophie Miller.
“May I help you?” she asked.
I lifted the stack of envelopes in my hand. “I need to drop these off.”
“You can just hand them to me. I’ll make sure he gets them.”
“Thank you,” I said.
Sophie grabbed a pen and notepad. “Who should I say this is from?”
I leaned on the counter and smiled. “I’m Starlight from the local strip club. Your boss has a running tab and I was just delivering his newest bill.”
Pen dropped. Sophie’s head shot up. Mouth was hanging open. This was fun. Some of my anxiety began to fade.
And right when I was starting to relax, the door behind her opened. A man walked out. He wasn’t Max.
I smiled.
I wanted to sigh with relief, but right behind the man was Max. My smile faded. My body started to tingle. He had on a white dress shirt, tucked into navy blue dress pants. A striped tie, and a tailored vest showcased his wide shoulders. He crossed his arms and I saw the silver watch on his wrist.
My body felt leaden. My movements were slow. And it was all because of him. I gripped the counter. It didn’t even matter that he wasn’t looking my way. His magnetism fell off him in waves, pulling me under, drowning me slowly, making my lungs constrict with every breath.
Max had a focused look on his face as he talked. I knew he was in his element. He was a shrewd businessman. One that was intelligent enough to know when to shut up and listen, and when to speak.
My resistance, the little I had built up, was starting to fade. I had to get out of there fast. I attempted to get Sophie’s attention. Attempted was the key word. She was fixated on Max.
I tried using my manners. In a polite voice, I said Sophie’s name. She didn’t look at me.
I tapped the counter. Still nothing. I glanced over at Max. He was wrapping up his conversation. My heart started to race. I felt like these were the final seconds I had before a bomb went off and exploded in my face.
“Hey,” I snapped my fingers. “Sophie!”
She jerked her head back to me and gave me an impatient look. “Yes?”
I quickly rushed my words. “I need to be going. Can you just say that Naomi stopped by to drop these off for—?”
Max stopped mid-sentence. So I stopped mid-sentence.
His head turned in my direction. I silently cursed myself. He had been gesturing with his hands but now they were frozen in the air. He blinked and looked at me as if I weren’t real.
I wished that were the case. I wished I could snap my fingers and disappear that second.
His silence made the man next to him stop talking and stare at me. The man looked between Max and me, and excused himself.
“Naomi?”
How did he do that? How did he make my name sound so… sinful?
I cleared my throat. “That’s my name.”
He walked over to me. “How are you?”
I shrugged and gripped the envelopes tightly in my hand. “I’m all right.”
He tucked his hands into his pockets and leaned against Sophie’s desk. “Having a good summer?”
I stared down at the counter as I answered, trying to appear unaffected. “I am. Just been really busy. You know how it is.”
“Ah, of course. Busy,” he repeated back.
My eyes lifted and were caught by this gaze.
“Yeah, just visiting friends and running errands. I figured I’d make the most of my time while I’m here.”
That was a lie. If Lana hadn’t woken me up this morning I would’ve slept until noon and sat around watching re-runs of reality shows with a plate of brownies on my lap.
“How long are you home?” he asked.
“Until September.”
Maybe it was my eyes, or my mind p
laying tricks on me, but I swear he was slowly inching closer to me. Or maybe I was. Either way, the space between us was slowly starting to disappear.
I looked down at my hands. I was gripping the papers so tightly that in a few minutes they would be wadded up in a ball. My mind kicked back into gear. I shoved the envelopes at him.
“I’m just dropping these off.” Max looked at the envelopes and back at me. “For Michael,” I said dumbly.
He said nothing. Just smirked and reached out his hand.
If this were a movie, I would press pause at this part. And I would point to my hand on the screen. I would show you how I made sure to grip the very edge of the papers. How I went out of my way to make sure we didn’t touch. Then I would press play and when I did, you would see his fingers grazing the back of my hand and me standing there frozen solid. And if you listened very carefully, you would hear the sound of a faint tear. That was just the sound of my heart unraveling like a torn ribbon.
All from one touch.
“Thank you,” he said.
I took a step back. “I’m gonna go. Sorry for interrupting.”
“You’re not interrupting.” He held up a finger. “Just wait.”
He looked back at Sophie and told her she could take lunch early. She grabbed her stuff. When she passed me she looked me up and down curiously. I wanted to tell her to stay. I was even willing to go as far as to tell her I was sorry for being a smart ass earlier. I was that desperate.
But she left. The door clicked shut.
There were no noises. Phones had stopped ringing. Printers and fax machines were silent. No voices or laughter. Not even footsteps. Nothing. Just the two of us.
This time it wasn’t really in my mind. This time, we really were in our own world.
“What was that?” Max said.
“What was what?”
“The look my secretary gave you.” He opened up the paperwork as he talked to me. I watched his hands. Long, tapered fingers. Bluish veins traveled up his arms. A vision of those hands wrapped around my waist, pressing into my skin, guiding me closer to his hard body flashed through my head. It was gone in an instant. But my gut twisted and that greed I had for him intensified by a million.
“Did I miss something?” he asked.
“Oh, it was nothing,” I said evasively.
He lifted a brow. I changed the subject.
“So,” I drew out slowly, trying to think of a new topic.
Max leaned on the counter. “No, no, don’t try to change the subject. What happened between you and my secretary?”
He was persistent. Why was I so surprised?
“I might have introduced myself in a not so professional way,” I said.
He turned his body toward me. It was a simple shift but it made all the difference in the world. One step forward and I would be able to smell him. One step forward and I could actually make my vision a reality. One step forward—
“Which way did you introduce yourself?”
My body jerked back.
This time I didn’t dodge his question. “I may or may not have told your secretary my name was Starlight and that I was from a local strip club, here to drop off your running tab at the club.”
I expected him to be pissed off. But his eyes merely widened and he laughed. A deep laugh that came from his belly. For a reason I’d never figure out, I smiled at him. I smiled and stayed in place when I should have been waving at him over my shoulder as I walked to the elevators.
Max slid closer. My smile faded. Here he was. Nothing stood in between us. I could yank him by the tie. I could kiss him. I could make my dreams a reality and have his body pressed against mine within seconds.
I did none of that.
Sunlight gleamed across the counter. It warmed my skin. Max’s gaze remained steadfast. He made my skin burn like fire.
I backed away slowly. “I gotta go.” I took another step before I pulled my eyes away from him. “It was nice seeing you.” I was only a few steps away when I called out over my shoulder, “Tell your secretary I’m sorry about the whole Starlight thing.”
“When you come back tomorrow and have lunch with me you can tell her.”
I stopped. My blood roared in my ears.
He wasn’t done.
“Better yet, let me take you to dinner Saturday.”
My hand was inches away from the doorknob. I stared down at the metal before I squeezed my eyes shut.
I didn’t want to like what he said. I wanted to feel nothing. But I felt everything. That terrified me. And rightly so. Anyone that has the power to open up your heart without you even knowing, should terrify you.
“Naomi.”
I turned. He leaned against the counter looking so self-possessed that I was ready to claw my way out of the room if I needed to.
With agile ease, he pushed himself away from the counter, only to approach me slowly. “What’s stopping you from saying yes?”
The electric spark between us. The one that becomes more powerful each time I see you. It makes me go from wanting to have your complete attention, to wanting to be the center of your universe.
I said nothing.
Max tilted his head, staring at me, trying to figure out my answer.
“Just have dinner with me,” he said.
“We’ll see,” I said.
“A simple yes or a no will do.”
“We’ll see,” I repeated slowly.
Before he could say another word, I forcefully pushed the door open. And with my legs feeling like jelly, I walked toward the elevator.
Waiting for the elevator doors to part felt like years. I could see Max in the reflection of the stainless steel doors. He was looking right at me. When the doors finally opened, I anxiously walked in and pressed L. Before the doors slid shut, I looked up, hoping he had walked away. But he was still in the same place, with the exact same focus he had on me minutes earlier.
The elevator started to move. My stomach dropped. I closed my eyes and sighed heavily.
The only thing I expected Max to stir in me was lust. It was a natural feeling. A chemical reaction. But he was making me go beyond that. Now I wanted to know his mind. The true Max. I wanted to know everything.
This was bad.
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
Sunlight reflecting off my Raybans. Laughing with Lana. My hand outstretched, touching the wind, as I drove.
The days blurred together at warp speed as I played the part of a relaxed college student, enjoying her summer. And I was doing a damn good job. No one knew that those three days were simply a grace period before I had to give Max an answer.
He never called. And it drove me crazy. I stared at my phone, waiting to see his number show up on my screen. I was fifteen again, pining away like a pathetic little puppy.
Saturday arrived.
I spent the morning avoiding my phone. After a shower, after I paced my bedroom for an hour, I called him.
He answered briskly.
“You wanted a yes or no answer from me…” I paused and stared out the window. “Do you still want that?”
“I do,” he said slowly.
Hearing his voice instantly made my blood pump furiously throughout my body.
I exhaled, my breath shaky. “Then yes.”
I could feel his wicked grin through the phone. “I’ll pick you up at 8.”
Everything I told myself I wouldn’t do with Max, I did. I said I wouldn’t have dinner with him and I was sitting across from him in one of the nicest restaurants in McLean. I said I wouldn’t put any effort into getting ready, but I dressed in a deep blue maxi dress that had a V-cut in the front and left almost my entire back exposed. It was one of the sexiest dresses I owned. I said I wouldn’t let him get a reaction out of me, but as we walked into the restaurant, goose bumps instantly prickled my skin when his hand settled on the bare skin of my lower back, making me regret this dress.
And now I was barely surviving, because of the looks th
at Max shot in my direction. When he looked at me, his eyes narrowed slightly, like he was trying to get a better focus on me. I leaned back in my chair. Feeling like I had been shot in the chest.
Bang.
I opened up to him in a way that seemed impossible. I told him about college, my dislike of exams and papers and the professors. And Max listened the whole time, his eyes never straying, his attention purely focused on me. It was thrilling.
Max took a drink of his water. He was leaning back with one arm draped over his chair. His gray dress shirt stretched across his chest and arms. I took a sip of my drink. I had already gone through three glasses of wine. Every time I looked over at him, my mouth suddenly became dry. I needed to find a better coping mechanism or my liver was going to shut down.
“So did you get your college experience?” he asked.
“I guess so.”
“You guess so?”
I shrugged. “It was nothing like I expected.”
“What did you expect?”
I thought over his question, chewed on my bottom lip. “More… freedom.” His brows lifted and I quickly spoke up. “I don’t know… I guess I just thought I would find myself. Sounds cliché, right?”
Max grinned and my heart started to pound at an alarming rate. “Not at all. Everyone expects that, but hardly anyone really gets that.”
“Did you change?”
“No. You see I was good at studying but even better at having fun.”
When I pictured him having fun I pictured his arm slung around a new girl each week and jealousy took root in my stomach, twisting its way up my body until I had to force away the image of College Max.
“If we had crossed paths in college…” I started out slowly, contemplating my words. “Would you have noticed me?”
“I would’ve noticed you then, just like I notice you now,” he said in an intimately. His words slammed into me.
Max paused and braced his elbows on the table, like whatever he was about to say was going to take everything out of him. Right then was my cue to speak up. It was the perfect moment to tell him that I didn’t need to hear anything. My lips parted, but nothing came out.
“Is there someone in your life?”