I bit my bottom lip and began to back away awkwardly. Will looked back at me, a confused expression on his face and I couldn't help but feel stupid. The last thing I wanted was for him to work out I had an unobtainable crush on him. Rejection day one of the tour would be painful and I'd have to live with it for five weeks straight.
"See you round," I stuttered and pretty much fled the scene. See you round? See you round? This was like one of those teen movies where the popular boy deigns to speak to the unpopular, slightly geeky girl.
It was strange how one encounter with Will Strickland made me crash back down to earth. Like all the work I'd done in the last few months had been nothing but a facade. I was awkward and shy again. I hoped when the lights went down and I stood on that stage later, that the new Zoe would come back out with a vengeance.
The rest of the night I managed, with quite some skill, to avoid Will like the plague. I stood side of stage and talked with the guys from the support band and to the venue staff, monopolising on their knowledge. It was amazing how far I'd come, even to me. Before Dee conned me into joining the band, I wouldn't have been confident enough in myself to even approach anyone, let alone talk to them.
Standing side of stage also afforded a good glimpse at the crowd that had amassed and I hadn't really focused on ticket sales, but Chris told me that it was a sell out. That meant almost eight hundred people had crammed inside the venue and would see us play. And bloody hell, did we play. We got such an overwhelming response it picked up my mood from earlier significantly.
Glancing side of stage mid-set, I was surprised to see Pete and Will watching us and when they saw me looking, Pete smiled and Will gave me a little wave. All I could do was grimace and look away as we went into another song. Don't get sucked in, Zoe. Don't get sucked in.
When we're finished, I exited off the opposite side and began to put away the gear as the change over began. As our stuff came in, we packed it away into their hard cases ready for tomorrow. We had to be up early for a flight to Brisbane and everything had to be secure and ready to go.
The bar stayed open after most of the punters had left - a few stragglers and the rest of the bands hung around talking to fans and each other. I helped Simone clear the merch table and pack the remains of our stuff away.
"You guys killed it tonight," she said, bright and happy. "We made a bunch off merch, too. Almost everything I brought in is gone."
"Really?" I said, surprised. "That's awesome."
"There'll be like fifty hot looking guys out there with Devil's Tattoo t-shirts tomorrow."
"Ha," I laughed.
"Oh, hey," Simone exclaimed when a guy stepped behind the table. "This is Dean, the Stabs' manger and merch table bitch."
"Hey," he exclaimed with a grin and held out his hand to me. "Zoe, right?"
"Yeah," I said and took his hand and shook. Appropriately, he wore a Stabs shirt and scuffed up jeans and he sported a full beard that made him look a little rough around the edges.
"You guys were fantastic," he said. "You gave the boys a run for their money, I tell ya. A girl like you playin' rock like that?" He let out a slow whistle.
My default response was to blush.
"She doesn't see it," Simone told him.
"Rule number one of owning that stage, Zoe, is to work everything you've got. A girl like you in a boys club like this is dy-na-mite."
I laughed and scratched my head. "Okay. Advice noted." I pointed to the boxes of t-shirts. "Do you need help with this?"
"Hell no," Dean nudged me towards the bar. "Go and party a little. You earn't it tonight."
Instantly, I'm accosted by a couple of guys who tell me how much they loved the gig and how much they like Walls. I shied away a little, but they weren't over the top about it and it made me feel a little warm inside that something I wrote spoke to them. I'm nervous enough that I looked around while I listened politely and I couldn't help but curl my lip up in disgust when I caught sight of Will Strickland in full man-whore mode. He was leaning up against the bar, talking to a pretty girl. She was tall and willowy with long brown hair and was wearing short shorts with boots and a tiny little cut up t-shirt. The kind of pretty that I'm not. He was standing too close and even though the music isn't up very loud, he leant in to hear everything she was saying like it's an excuse to press into her. When his hand settled on her hip, I bit back an annoyed hiss that had been working its way up my trachea along with a pile of vomit.
Why the hell should I be jealous? I was nothing like this girl, and I was obviously not Will's type at all. Not even close. But something had snapped inside of me and this crush I had on him obviously ran deeper than I thought.
I'd only spoken a handful of words with him and this was my reaction? I was going mad and it was only day bloody one.
Dee sidled up to me as the guys I was speaking with moved off. He saw the look of rage plastered on my face and looked over to where I was firing death glares and patted me on the shoulder.
"You know," he said. "At first I thought they asked for us because of you."
"They didn't."
"Looking at that," he nodded towards Will, "I reckon I was wrong. They want to ride on our popularity."
"Dee."
"Player," he drawled and I knew he was a little drunk.
I took his drink away and said, "We've gotta get up early tomorrow for the airport and I'm not going to nurse your hangover or your attitude."
"Zoe, don't be cranky."
"You created this monster, so I'll do what I want, thanks."
"Frankenstein," he mumbled and pulled me in for a hug.
"Frankenstein was the doctor. I assume you're calling me a monster?"
"You're hurting my head, Zo Zo."
"So, if I'm Frankenstein's monster, who does that make you?"
"God."
"If you're going to smite someone, God, smite Will Strickland."
Dee waived his hands around and if I wasn't so annoyed, it would have been comical. "Sorry," he said. "All smited out."
"When you're ready, God, lets find Frank and Chris and blow this joint."
"And Simone," he drawled. "She's staying at Frank's too."
We'd decided the best thing was for us all to crash at Frank's tonight and go together to the airport in the morning. He lived on the side of town near the freeway that went straight to Tullamarine. I had this thing about being early and I would worry less if we were all together.
I glanced back at the bar and this time Will caught my eye. Before I had to acknowledge him, I turned away, my expression cold. Not wanting to stay inside a moment longer, I walked straight out and up the stairs to the street outside. Deep, deep down, I hoped that I didn't get stuck sitting next to him on the plane or anywhere else. Operation get over that stupid crush on Will was in full swing and I didn't intend to stop until this whole embarrassing thing was not even a blip on my radar.
CHAPTER EIGHT
WILL
Zoe Granger was not the woman I was expecting her to be.
On stage she was something fierce and wild, but off stage she'd been awkward and almost nervous. When I'd spoken to her earlier, it was like my mere presence made her uncomfortable. But when I held her hand, a painful longing shot through me. She was a puzzle. A hard one at that, and suddenly I wanted to solve her.
Exactly how I was going to do that when she was obviously trying to avoid me at all costs was going to be difficult. By now, she'd come to know about my completely uncalled for reputation and that was probably the problem. It always was.
She talked with the support band and the venue staff and from the bits I overheard, she was asking them tech questions. I knew she was single. I knew that guy who'd yanked her away from me at the gig at Cherry was Dee, her friend. I knew the other guys in the band were single, too, but they all treated her like a sister. In fact, their bass payer seemed to have a thing for their manager, Simone.
I had a clear shot, but I had to get Zoe in the position where s
he wanted to talk to me. That was the bit I was having trouble with.
Standing by the bar at the back of the venue, I watched as she walked up to the merch table and started talking to the blonde haired girl, Simone. Then Dean came along and they all started talking and her face lit up. Dean must have said something she wasn't sure about because her face flushed and she sunk back into her hair a little. I wondered how it would feel to run my hands through it, coaxing her out. The warmth of her body against mine. Just thinking about it made me feel a little hard.
My line of sight was broken and I shook my head, leaning back against the bar.
"Hey," a female voice said and I looked up to find a girl had wedged herself between me and some random guy who'd been standing at the bar.
She was tall and willowy with long brown hair and was wearing tiny barely-there shorts with boots and a torn up t-shirt. The kind of girl I'd drowned my sorrows in. The kind of girl that always thought they had a chance at something more. The kind of girl I didn't want.
She was flirting shamelessly with me, so I led her on a little. Not cool on my part. The music wasn't that loud, but I leant into her all the same, one eye on Zoe and some guys who'd stopped to talk to her. I could have sworn she was watching me by the way her fist clenched at her side. The girl in front of me said something else that didn't quite register and I let my hand settle on her hip. Was I trying to make Zoe jealous? The thought hadn't occurred to me that this might be a way to find out if she was attracted to me or just unashamedly didn't like me.
Now Zoe was blatantly staring at me like I'd just stabbed her in the heart. I didn't stop to think about the fact that I was hurting her, all I could see was that she had some inkling of attraction towards me. The hateful death stares were just a minor hiccup. I'd affected her.
That was the moment she chose to leave with Dee and tomorrow, I'd try talking to her again.
I pulled away from the girl coldly and she cried, "Hey."
Putting my empty bottle on the bar, I said, "Not gunna happen," and wandered off in search of Pete for a ride home.
CHAPTER NINE
ZOE
We were starting the Walls on Fire tour in Brisbane and travelling right down the east coast, through all the capital cities and a few regional towns before hitting Victoria again, bypassing Melbourne via the country cities of Shepparton and Ballarat. Then to South Australia for gigs in Mt Gambier and Adelaide. We'd come back the eight hour or so drive from there to Melbourne for a final two shows before the tour officially ended. We had a planned twenty gigs to get through in the next month and a bit and that didn't include interviews and photo shoots along the way.
Much to my relief, I got stuck next to Frank on the flight and we made it to the hotel at the edge of the CBD with a few hours to kill before the gig. We had a tight turn around so we had to make do with no sound check and hope for the best. We were playing at Brisbane's Hi-Fi Bar, so hopefully that would sort itself out.
Check-in seemed to be a slow process for a busy Saturday afternoon and we loitered in the lobby as the staff coded key cards for us. I leant against the tours counter and flipped through some travel brochures. Not that we'd get the time to see anything, but there were a lot of things about rainforests and tropical islands that looked like a great way to stop my eyes wandering.
A shadow loomed in my peripheral vision and automatically, I glanced out the corner of my eye and there stood Will with his sexy wild hair, and now that he was close enough in daylight so I could see, stormy blue-grey eyes. My whole body began to tingle and it unsettled me, how attracted I was to him.
"Hey," he said, leaning against the counter.
"Hey," I said slowly and it came out like I was suspicious. Well, that'd be the truth.
“I’ve seen you around. You know, before this.” He waved his hands around, gesturing towards the others.
“Oh?” I tried not to let on that I knew exactly what he’s on about.
“There was this show at The Corner a while back,” he said, frowning at me. He seemed to think that I would remember the awkward stage sexy eyes he gave me and the odd eyebrow-raising incident. And that thing at our first gig. Of course I remembered, but I wasn't going to let on. It was months ago.
“Oh, yeah. I was there,” I said nonchalantly, putting the brochure I had in my hands back on the rack.
“I wanted to come say hi to you, but your mates seemed rather protective.”
“Who? Dee and Frank?” My eyebrows rose. “Yeah, well, probably Dee, but Frank would probably push me on anything that looked my way.” Will looked confused, so I said, “He’s all for havin’ a good time, if you know what I mean.” This didn't seem to be going well.
"Well,” he said. “It’s gunna be a great tour. I guess we’ll have heaps of time to hang out and get to know one another.”
I’m not sure if he just said it to be polite or to get away from the crazy person, so I just nodded. Dee chose this moment to come along and thump my room key on the counter and I turned around to pick it up. Obviously Will chose this moment to escape, so when I turned back, all I saw was his back as he went over to pick up his bags.
“So awkward,” Dee shook his head at me. “I like, need to coach you on social interactions or something.”
“Shut the hell up,” I hissed and pushed past him, picking up my bag.
"Don't be so bitchy, Zoe."
"Don't be such a smart ass."
I pushed the button for the elevator about a million times, like it would make the hunk of junk faster. I heard the rest of the guys loitering in the foyer as the door slid open.
"Zoe!" Dee yelled at me.
I turned and gave him a look, holding the door with a hand to stop it from closing. Everyone looked at me and I felt my face going red. Shit, I can stand in front of hundreds of people on stage, but this made me embarrassed? What a dork.
"Pick you up at six, bitch," Dee declared, much to his own amusement and I glared at him.
As I walked into the elevator, my gaze crossed Will's and he looked away before he had to acknowledge me. And that stung more than I thought it would. God, at least I didn't declare my crush on him, but somehow I thought I might have done that already. Sometimes I think I'm just grateful for the human interaction, no matter how awkward. Hiding myself away for so long had to leave some kinks for me to work out, right? I just wished they weren't so embarrassing.
The day after the gig in Brisbane, we stood in the middle of the hotel car park, the early morning sun peeking over the trees and looked at our mode of transport for at least the next five weeks. It's a gold bus with a trailer attached to the back. Enough room to stick us all in and our gear. We're not rich enough to have a fancy bus with beds, so seats would have to do.
The night before, I'd cut out on the after party altogether and went straight back to my room and crashed. I tried to convince myself I was just tired after an early morning flight and another show, and wasn't being anti-social at all. I would do better and join in today.
Frank opened his arms wide and spun around. "This is the lap of luxury," he yelled at the top of his lungs.
Dee tackled him with a laugh and they almost fell on the ground in a heap. I'm so glad that they're here.
Bob is our driver and he's laughing as the boys wrestle each other. For me, it's too early for that kind of enthusiasm. "Do you mind driving around a bunch of degenerates like them?" I asked him.
"Naa," he shook his head. "I'm an old rocker myself, so for me it's kinda fun. Reliving the old days."
"I have a HR license," Chris said. "If you ever want to tag team, I'm game."
"I didn't know you could drive trucks," I said.
"I did delivery driving for a transport company. Shipping containers, that kind of stuff."
Bob seemed pleased. "Shit, mate. That's some heavy driving. Good cash, too. I'll have to take you up on that offer sometime."
It wasn't a full sized bus, so once we had stuck in our bags that couldn't fit in the tra
iler, we had to cram in with little space to spread out.
Simone was following us in a rental car, a swish little 4WD, crammed full with both bands merchandise. Dean was off somewhere and was going to meet us in Sydney by the weekend. So, for the time being she's the only manager with us and was more than glad to handle The Stabs as well. Sometimes I had to remind myself that this was Simone's dream as well as ours.
Dee winked at me from under Frank's armpit where he was in a headlock and I knew there was incoming. Looking at the door to the hotel, the guys from The Stabs were coming over to us, bleary eyed in the sunlight. Seemed like they had a hard night after I left the venue and I tried not to care how hard it had been. Will has aviator glasses on and a worn denim jacket and I found myself staring and feeling a little hot under the collar. He held two takeout cups of coffee and was saying something to Sticks, but who knew what that was. I was too busy thinking about my hands in his hair.
"Got an extra coffee," he said to no one in particular. "Anyone want it?"
"Zoe wants it," Dee said and right then, I could have killed him.
I went to take it, but my hand shook so much, it slipped from my fingers and fell to the concrete and splashed over my boots.
"Shit," I cursed, my face flaming red.
"Aw, damn it," Will hissed, jumping back a step.
I don't know what the hell was wrong with me. I'm seriously beginning to think I had some kind of mental deficiency where good looking guys were concerned. I picked up the now empty cup and walked over to the bin, doing my best to ignore Dee's laughter and so I could escape my awkward nightmare.
As I walked back, Simone gave me a knowing grimace.
"Can I ride with you?" I asked, wryly. It's only an hour to the Gold Coast, but I couldn't think of anything worse than riding in that bus today.