"I'm sorry, okay?"
"For what?"
Silence. I looked up at him and he was smiling at me with that lopsided grin, the stubble on his chin infuriatingly sexy.
Anger and desire flared up inside of me and I snapped, "Still an a-hole I see," and stalked off into the bus.
Unfortunately, we were a seat down and I'd waited too long to get on. Will was last and he could have sat next to anyone, but as if he wanted to irritate the hell out of me, he slid into the seat next to mine. "I said I was sorry."
"Yeah," I glared at him over the top of my sunnies, "I got it."
"Can we start again?"
"You gotta be straight with me," I said. "I don't do games. I don't do cryptic."
"Okay."
I didn't want to talk about it anymore, so I put my earphones in and turned on some Queens of the Stone Age to drown him out. To my annoyance, he pulled an ear bud out and I snatched it back off him. My breath caught as my hand ran over his and his eyes snapped up to mine. I never once believed that zap of electricity shit, but right then that's exactly what I felt and by the look on Will's face, he just might have as well.
"Zoe…"
I scowled at him and put the ear bud back in with a small shake of my head. I'd just gotten my life back on track, I didn't need this emotional roller coaster. I was stuck sitting next to him for the next god knows how long. I just had to focus and get through it.
I hated that I was so attracted to him. I hated how I fantasised about his hands, his fingers and his lips. I hated that he crept into my thoughts with ease, the thought of him near me overwhelmed everything else. I was thinking these things right now and he was sitting right next to me. Five centimetres separated us. I was so hyper aware, I squirmed at the tingling between my legs and sunk down into my seat. Pulling my hoodie over my head, I hoped he couldn't tell how amped up I was.
Thankfully, he decided not to push it any further, but he didn't move from the seat next to me either. I'd been bitchy enough and asking him to move would be the bitchiest thing I could do. We all had to get along for the next five-ish weeks, so I looked out of the window and did my best to ignore him.
With the combination of late nights and a smooth ride, it wasn't long before I fell asleep, despite all my best efforts to keep my eyes open. It was only two hours, but two hours extra sleep was better than none at all.
"Zoe."
Opening my eyes, I wasn't sure where I was for a moment. My leg was pressed up against someone else's and for a moment I thought it was Dee, but when he said my name again, I realised I was still sitting next to Will and it was him I was pressed up against. It was so unexpected, I jerked away like a scared animal. Like a lamb who'd been cornered by a fox.
"Sorry," I mumbled, thoroughly embarrassed.
"I didn't mean to scare you," he frowned at me. "We're here."
I looked out the window and we were in the lot behind the hotel we were booked in for the next couple of nights. The boys were already half outside stretching.
Will slid out of the seat and held out his hand. I eyed him suspiciously and stood on my own.
"I don't bite you know," he said.
When he didn't move out of the way, I scowled. "What?"
"I don't get you, Zoe."
"What's there to get?" I asked, silently praying that he'd move and I wouldn't have to push him. If I had to, I'd touch him and where would that take me? Straight into the danger zone.
"You just seem uncomfortable."
I shrugged.
"Why?"
I looked at him for a moment, blinking, put on the spot. "I guess… I don't know what to talk about."
"There's plenty of things to talk about," he smiled at me.
"Well, I have no idea what to say. The idea bank is empty."
He stood there for a moment too long, the awkward silence stretching into infinity. "Are you going to let me make it up to you?"
"Are you going to let me off?" I retorted.
He laughed wryly and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his eyes. Standing aside he held out a hand, gesturing down the aisle. "After you."
Not wasting a second more, I hightailed it off the bus and into the safety of the hotel foyer.
I'd really come to enjoy sound check. It was my quiet time. I know that sounded silly, considering the noise level, but it allowed me to sit back and observe. I didn't have to perform, I didn't have to talk to anyone, and I didn't have to put on a face. I could just watch. Sometimes all of that wore me down. Typically, I was a shy person. Talking took it out of me emotionally, so I relished these small moments.
I was watching the support band set up their gear from a step out in the venue. The house lights were up, which gave the place a whole different feel.
The support was a local indie outfit called Damages. Apparently they had a song that had just been picked up by Absolute, the radio station that was first to pick up ours. I hadn't had a chance to hear it yet, so I was looking forward to them playing it in their set tonight.
When they finished, I noticed two of the guys talking to each other furiously and then they looked over at me. A moment later, one of them jumped down from the stage and began to walk over. He looked younger than I was, maybe about twenty, tall and wiry with dark shaggy hair. He looked a bit nervous, looking at the ground, rather than look where he was going. It was a move I was we'll aquatinted with.
"Hey," he said as he stopped by me and I knew he was nervous.
"Hi," I said with a smile, knowing exactly how he felt, "I'm Zoe."
"Yeah, I know," he said with a laugh. "I'm Max. I play guitar and do vocals in Damages."
"I saw you guys sound check. You're pretty good."
"Wow, really? Thanks."
"No problem."
"I don't know if you do this, but we'd be stoked if you would sing a song with us."
"Oh," I said, blinking in surprise. "What song? I guess it depends if I know it."
He smiled, obviously pleased I was considering it. "Future Starts Slow by The Kills. We've done it a couple of times and people seem to like it, but I reckon it would sound better with a female vocal. Man, and if you sang it with us..." He stopped mid-sentence, realising he'd been babbling.
Really, I was taken aback by how much he seemed to respect me. I mean, he wasn't trying to crack onto me in the slightest, he was into my band.
"Sure," I laughed, instantly liking him. "It'll be great."
"Yeah?" he exclaimed, eyes bright.
"Yeah. When do you do it in your set?"
"Second to last," he said. "We had a single picked up on the radio that's doing well, so we play that last."
"Good call," I agreed.
"We don't do anything to change the tempo or key, it's pretty faithful to the original. Will you be okay without rehearsing, I mean, it's different with another band... I mean, shit on it."
I let out a loud laugh and shook my head. "I'm not offended, Max. I don't know how long you've been playing together, but we're new at this too. I love the song and if you stick to it pretty faithfully as you said, then it'll be fine."
"God, I'm such an idiot," he laughed, smacking a palm into his forehead. "I just really admire the way you play."
"Wow, no really, wow. Thanks. I'm going to watch your set anyway, so just gimme a cue."
"Now you're just flattering me."
A loud booming voice echoed over the sound system then, making us look around. "Zoooooeeeeee."
I smiled and looked up at Dee who was on stage, waving me over. "Better go," I said to Max.
"Sure and thanks again. It's going to be amazing."
Giving him a small smile, I made my way to the stage where Dee gave me a look.
"What?" I asked.
"Flirting with the support, Zo? Are you on operation drive indie bass players bananas, still?"
"Shut up, Dee," I rolled my eyes. "I'm not trying to piss off anyone. They asked me to do a song with them tonight and I agreed."
/>
He let out a slow whistle. "Zoe Granger, branching out. Never thought I'd see the day."
"I'm the product of your creation. Deal with it."
"What song?"
"Future Starts Slow by The Kills."
"Sex-y."
"Oh, tune your guitar, Dee or we'll be here all night and I won't get the chance."
"You're a hard task master."
"All I need is a whip."
"Zoe, you're making me think dirty thoughts," Frank said as he wandered over to the drum kit. "Especially after leading me on the other night. No wonder everyone is hot for you."
Groaning, I went to retrieve my guitar and pedals, hoping by the time I'd set up, Dee would have tuned his guitar and forgotten about his smart comments.
By the time the doors opened and Damages were getting ready to start their set, I was getting nervous. Every time I went out on stage I had a guitar to hide behind. Going out there on my own made me feel naked. I hadn't thought of that when Max had asked me earlier and now I wish I had.
As if he could read the blind terror that plagued my thoughts from whatever expression was plastered on my face, Dee said, "Nothing to worry about, Zo. You're gunna be fabulous."
I could only nod as the stage lights went up and Damages began to play their first song. To be honest, I really enjoyed them. They were a really talented bunch of guys and looked at home on the stage. It was no wonder the radio station had picked up their song and I had that odd sensation of having my fear melt away as I listened to the set. Music had that strange effect on me, it was hard to describe. If a song spoke to me, then everything else slipped away.
"We'd like to welcome Zoe from The Devil's Tattoo."
Dee elbowed me sharply, breaking me out of my day dream. "Batter up, Zo Zo."
As the song began to play, I put my head down, letting my hair fall into my face and strode out onto the stage. I didn't hear the crowd cheer, nor did I acknowledge the guys on the stage. I just grabbed the microphone and pulled it from the stand. Some people would call it a rock'n'roll attitude. I would just call it blind fear.
Standing right at the edge of the stage, I was hardly aware of people touching my legs as I sang. Right now, more than any other time, I realised this was what I had been born to do. Music was my life and my saviour and my blood.
The last chord died away into a loud applause and I finally look up into the crowd and hands are raised in the air, whistles and cheers and a lot of people holding up smart phones taking videos. Yeah, this was what I was born to do.
A hand fell on my shoulder and I turned to find Max beaming at me. "That was amazing."
Another of the guys came up and said, "Thanks so much."
The bass player came over too, and yelled, "That was bloody brilliant!"
Soon we're joined by the drummer who pushed me forward and I'm forced to give a little bow and a wave. Backing off, I look side of stage and see that everyone had come to watch my little guest spot.
Dee was talking to Will and they look almost friendly. I wonder what they could possibly have to talk about and the only common denominator right now was me. Dee clapped him on the shoulder and walked off. I didn't want to think about it. I was enjoying this way too much.
Will caught my eye and grinned, shaking his head. He was too far away for me to hear, but I could read the word that escaped his lips.
Beautiful.
And I couldn't help the answering smile that crept onto my own.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Will
I stood behind Dee and Zoe, watching the support band do their thing. They're called Damages and we'd seen them play before on an earlier tour. They've really upped their game and having them support is great. We were always happy to get younger bands on the line up. When we'd started we didn't have the same leg up as we were now able to offer. When we could, we liked to pick the openers.
Honestly, I wasn't really watching the band that much. I was too busy watching Zoe. I couldn't deny that it'd hurt when she jerked away from me earlier. I mean, it just seemed like everything I did made her uncomfortable. She did seem to have a good time thinking of clever comebacks to everything I said. She had one hell of an attitude and to most people that would be a turn off, but to me it was a challenge. I kind of wondered what she'd come out with next.
"We'd like to welcome Zoe from The Devil's Tattoo." The sudden announcement from the guy from Damages broke me out of my blatant ogling of Zoe's ass. She was doing a song with them?
I straightened up as she strode out on stage, her hair hiding her face. I knew this song. It was Future Starts Slow by The Kills. She grabbed the microphone and started singing and my heart pounded.
I knew I'd never get over seeing her on stage. Everyone in that audience had it for her, too. All the girls wanted to be her and all of the guys wanted to fuck her. Sounded vulgar, but it was true. I was one of them.
She stood right at the front of the stage and people were touching her legs, but it didn't seem to bother her. Even without a guitar, she owned it. She belonged there. In that moment, I understood her completely.
"We know you're into her," Dee said, standing beside me as the song ended.
"What?" I shook my head as if I was trying to clear it. Was I really that transparent?
"Everybody can see it, but she can't."
"I'm trying to make it better."
"You're not a bad guy, Will. Just stupid."
"Shit, Dee. Tell it like it is, why don't you," I scowled.
He laughed, shaking his head. "I'll help you, but if you stuff it up, I'll be the first person to punch you in the face. Got it?"
"Fuck, do I get it," I said wryly.
"Good." He clapped me on the shoulder and wandered off as Damages made Zoe milk her applause.
I looked back out at her and she was beaming. I mean, her entire face had come alive. When she turned and saw me looking at her, I couldn't help grinning and mouthing the word, Beautiful. Because she was.
And when she smiled back, my heart skipped a beat. Maybe she didn't hate me as much as I thought after all.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ZOE
Each and every show we did was a hell of a lot of fun. When I was up on stage, I was someone else. I let go and rolled with it, putting everything I had into each and every note. The applause and the whistles came in droves and not once did I fall off the drum kit. Simone kept updating our Facebook page with an assortment of photos she found online and ones she took backstage and it was a lot of fun to read through the comments and write back little status updates. I saved all my favourites onto my own phone and looked at them first thing in the morning to remind myself where I was now and where I was staying.
I'd shied away from social media, deleted everything and got a new email address after the break up two years ago. The moment I looked at it and saw all the hateful things people I'd once counted as friends had left for me… Well, it was devastating. I promptly cancelled my internet service and only looked at email once in a while from my phone. The only apps I had on it, other than the base ones that came with the thing, were for the weather and a torch. I turned old school and brought music magazines and listened to the radio. For all intents and purposes, I'd fallen off the face of the earth. And my savings account skyrocketed with the lack of a bill to pay.
I still didn't have any personal profiles, but with Simone at the helm of the band's internet presence, I had nothing to worry about. She knew a little about what had happened and had promised me that she'd watch out for anything nasty, but so far there had been nothing.
Operation, Avoid Will Strickland at all Costs, was going well so far. When I was forced to speak with him, it was short and polite. We had two more days in Sydney, then we were going towards Canberra. We were doing a few more interviews and promo shoots for some local magazines, so we didn't have a show to worry about for a little while.
"Hey, Zo!" Frank came bounding into mine and Dee's hotel room a little too boisterou
s for nine am.
"Ugh!" I cried, pulling a pillow over my head. "I know I'm awake, but tone it down. I'm exhausted even listening to you."
"Up and Atom!" he chortled and I didn't miss The Simpson's reference.
"What's going on?"
"Interview, Zo Zo. They want you."
"Do they just? Can't they want me about eleven thirty?"
"Will and Pete are going," he said. "They want you and Dee."
Great, but instead I said, "Fine."
"It's a print thing, so they're going downstairs."
"Is that meant to be a selling point?"
"Dee's already there," he laughed at my lack of enthusiasm. "He said to tell you you've got thirty minutes before they get here."
After I'd showered and made myself look presentable, I made my way downstairs, my stomach doing little flip flops. By the time I actually walked into the bar, I felt physically sick. Looking across the room, I saw Dee waving me over.
There was one seat left and I knew that someone had done it on purpose. Dee was on one side and Will was on the other. Somehow I know they're in league with each other and I don't know who I'm annoyed at more. I should have known something was up when I saw them talking side of stage last night. All buddy buddy, whispering in the corner. At what point did Dee decide to push me right in front of Will instead of pulling me away?
Reluctantly sitting down, Dee smiled at me. "Took your time. Got you a coffee. You're welcome." He knew I wanted to yell at him.
"I'm exactly on time," I hissed, overly conscious of Will sitting beside me. "I want to talk to you later."
He just grinned at me knowingly, as the interviewer introduced herself.
I had no idea what half the questions were. I vaguely heard Dee answering most of them. Pete was there too, I suppose. Out the corner of my eye I watched as Will pulled his hands off the table and folded them in his lap. I almost jumped out of my chair when I felt his fingertips lightly brush across my knuckles. I forgot to breathe, I forgot that we were being interviewed, I forgot where we were. I had a sudden image of trailing my hand up the inside of his thigh to...