CHAPTER XI
I give the savage Indians a great Scare, and then gather up myscattered Family at the end of a queer Christmas Day.
How I ever got along through the darkness and snow on my crutch Iscarce know, but in less time than it takes to say I tumbled in at theback door of the hotel. I went directly into the kitchen and feltabout till I found a knife, which I put in my pocket. Then I stumpedon into the office, leaned against the counter, and lit the wall lamp,took it out of its bracket, and made my way somehow to thecellar-door. I left my crutch and fairly slid down the stairs, holdingthe lamp in both hands above my head. Once down I set it on a smallbox, dropped on the cellar bottom, and drew over to me the largestpumpkin in the pile against the wall. What I thought to do was to makethe most diabolical jack-lantern that ever was, and scare the drunkensavages out of what little wit they had left.
I took the pumpkin in my lap, and with the knife cut out the top likea cover. Then with my hands I dug out the seeds and festoons of stuffthat held them. Then I turned up one side and plugged out two eyes anda long nose. I was going to make the corners of the mouth turn up, asI had always done when making jack-lanterns at home, but just as Istarted to cut it came to me that it would look worse if they turneddown; so thus I made it, adding most hideous teeth, and cutting halfof my fingers in my haste. Then I gave the face straight eyebrows anda slash in each cheek just as an experiment, and looked around for acandle.
I could see nothing of the kind, nor could I remember ever havingnoticed one about the house. For a moment I knew not what to do; thenmy eyes rested on the lamp, and I asked myself why that would not doas well as a candle, or even better, since it gave more light. Thehole in the top was not big enough to take in the lamp, but I cut itout more, and with half a dozen trials, and after burning all thefingers I had not already cut, I got the lamp in. The cover was nowtoo small for the opening, but I grabbed another pumpkin and slashedout a larger one and clapped it into place. If I had had time Ibelieve I should have been frightened at the thing myself, it was thathideous and unearthly-looking; but I did not have, so I took it underone arm, though it seemed half as big as a barrel, and pulled myselfup-stairs.
In another minute I was outdoors and hobbling along as fast as Icould. The howling of the red beasts in the cellar still came as loudas ever. I got to the window, dropped on my knees, and took away theboard. They did not yet have a light, and were struggling andcaterwauling in the dark like, it seemed, a thousand demons. But I sayI had the worst demon with me.
The lamp was burning well. I set the thing on the ground, square infront of the window, with the horrible face turned in and looking downinto the darkness. Then I rolled out of the way.
I had truly thought that those savages had been making a great noisebefore, but it had been nothing to the sound which now came from thecellar. Such another shrieking and screaming I never heard before norsince. I would not have believed that any lot of human beings couldmake such an uproar. Then I heard them fighting their way up thestairs and go squawking and bellowing out the front door of thestore.
When I heard the last one go I seized up the pumpkin, took it on oneshoulder, and with my stick went hippety-hopping out through the alleyand along the sidewalk after them. They were going away in thedarkness for their ponies like the wind. I went to the end of the walkand, holding the lantern in both hands, raised and lowered and wavedit at them. Not once did they stop their howls of terror, and I couldhear and partly see them tumbling onto their ponies in all ways andplunging off through the drifts to the west like madmen. I longed tobe on Dick's back with my lantern to chase them, but I knew not whereDick was, and my ankle had already borne too much, as it told meplainly. I got back to the hotel as best I could, put up the lamp inits place and sat down to rest.
But though I needed rest, I needed food more; so I started the fireand looked about for something to eat. I soon found that the Indianshad left nothing except a few crusts of bread and some frozen eggs.But I boiled the eggs and made out a sort of a meal. As I finished Iheard a yowl which I thought I knew, and, sure enough, when I lookedup, there was the cat still on the door.
This set me to laughing, and I said: "I wonder was ever a family soscattered before on a Christmas night as is mine? There is Kaiser shutin under a water-tank; Blossom locked in the cellar of a grocerystore; Crazy Jane, the hen, on top of the smoke-stack of a blacksmithshop; the rest of the chickens sacked up and scattered on the ground;Dick and Ned, the horses, I don't know where; Pawsy, the cat, on topof the door; and Jud himself, the head of the family, here eating whatthe Indians have left, with a hurt ankle and a smell of roastedpumpkin all through his clothes."
I had a good laugh over things, and then decided that I must do what Icould for my scattered family, though my ankle seemed about ready togo by the board. So I first got down the cat and then lit the lanternand started out after Kaiser. Poor dog, he was beside himself to seeme, and liked to have knocked me down in showing how glad he was.
As we started back Kaiser stopped and began to growl at something outon the prairie, and I looked, and after a time made out Dick and Ned.They were very nervous, and would not let me come up to them, but Itoiled around them at last and started them toward their barn. I nextlooked after Blossom. I found her lying down, as comfortable as youplease, chewing her cud and right at home in the cellar. She had madea meal out of the coarse hay which came out of a crockery bale, and Ithought I would leave her for the night. So I took a big pitcher outof the bale and milked her then and there, and took it home, andKaiser and Pawsy and I disposed of it without more to-do.
I was beginning to feel better about my family, and felt still more sowhen I found that Dick and Ned had gone into their stalls and hadstopped their snorting, and only breathed hard when they saw me. NextI went after Crazy Jane; but though I coaxed and shooed, and threwchunks of frozen snow at her, while Kaiser barked his teeth loose,almost, it did no sort of good; she only looked at me and made a funnynoise as a hen does when she sees a hawk. I could not climb up with myhurt ankle, so I had to leave her, much against my will. The chimney,I thought, was a good deal exposed for a sleeping-place in winter, butthere was no wind and I didn't have much fear but that she would comeout all right.
I had like to have forgotten the other chickens; they never poppedinto my mind till I was back in the hotel, but I dragged myself outafter them. I found the poor things stuffed in three sacks, as if theyhad been turnips, lying on the snow. I knew I could not carry them,and felt that I could scarce drag them even; so I hit upon the plan oftaking a bit of rope from the pile of plunder and hitching Kaiser tothe sacks, and so in that way we got them, one by one, to the barn atlast and let them out, all cramped and ruffled. Kaiser was so proud ofhis work that he set up a bark which started the broncos into anotherfit of snorting.
I think if there had been one more member of my family lost that Icould have done nothing for it that night, my ankle was in such astate. I tried bathing it in hot water, and before I went to bed I hadit fairly parboiled, which seemed greatly to relieve it. I was tootired to go across the drawbridge to my room, so I stretched out onthe lounge in the office, not much caring if all the robbers inChristendom came. But I could not help wondering at my strangeChristmas; and half the night I heard the wolves howling round theblacksmith shop and looking up (I knew) at Crazy Jane; but I thoughtthey might as well howl around the gilt chicken on a weather-vane forall the good it would do them.