CHAPTER V.
THE LOVE OF LORD STRATHAY.
May 5.
Lord deliver me from the well-meaning!
Because of one pestilential dun, I've done what the weary waiting formoney, money, money would never have driven me to do. I've been toUncle, unknown to his wife, to ask advice. I might have known better.
It was with a wildly beating pulse that I entered the familiar littleprivate office, thinking that Ned might be on the other side of thepartition--near enough, perhaps, to hear me; that he might at anymoment rap upon the door and enter the room as he used to do, upon suchflimsy errands! I wondered how he would look, and what he'd say if hecame; but he never did come, though the talk was long enough, mercyknows; long and profitless.
It was hard, with that cold sinking at my heart, to talk to the Judge,as he sat with his keen eyes fixed upon me, leaning back in his chair,at times frowning absent-mindedly.
"I've come to tell you--I've written home for money," I beganbreathlessly to explain. "But they don't understand, of course--itisn't half what I need, now. I really don't quite know what to do. Andso I came to--"
My words died away into unintelligibility.
"Anticipated your allowance a little? Well, well, how much do youneed?" he asked indulgently.
"I don't exactly know; not much," I cried eagerly, "I haven't askedFather to send it all at once. Two or three thousand dollars would be agreat help--for the present."
"Two or three thousand! Is it little Nelly Winship who is talking aboutthousands? And what important scheme has she in mind?"
His tone was playful.
"To pay my bills.'"
"Bills aggregating thousands?" He dropped his paper cutter sharply. "Isit possible that in so short a time--if the recital be not too painful,pray explain."
"Oh, it's simple enough; the dressmaker would say: 'Do let me make youthis, it's such a pleasure to fit you;' or, 'That would be the rage, ifyou'd introduce it.' And Mrs. Van Dam begged me to buy a hat from aprotegee just starting in business, because it would be a help to havethe beautiful Miss Winship for a customer. It did help the milliner,too, for I bought three and they were printed in the papers. But shewants her pay just as if it hadn't been worth the price twice over asan advertisement. And all the things for the flat--"
"Furniture?"
"Why, yes; we've rearranged the place and I've contributed a little.Uncle Timothy, you can see--I need more money than other women. I can'twalk without attracting notice, and cab hire or a carriage by themonth--and--and I can't shop for myself, you don't know what adifference that makes; and--oh, everything is different! Why, I've justhad my portrait painted. But Father isn't a poor man." "He is poor,measured by New York standards. And he is sending you a great deal ofmoney."
"Yes, but--I must have a _lot_ more."
The Judge frowned slowly, considering what he had heard. Finally hesaid, slowly shaking his head:--
"Doubtless we should have warned you, upon your coming to New York, butI did not anticipate that one of your substantial Western stock woulddevelop habits of extravagance; nor were they apparent while you werewith us. I cannot think it was altogether our fault, and certainly itwas not your father's. I am not unmindful of the recent unsettlingexperiences which furnish excuse for confusion of ideas; but, Nelly, Iappeal to a head that should be logical, even if--I have never thoughtit giddy with adulation--to see the facts as they exist. You must yieldto your aunt's wish and return to her or to Marcia--"
"Impossible!"
"--you must bring me your bills; doubtless we can give up thefurniture--"
"Give it up!"
The coolly spoken words struck to my heart. Why, we had just finishedarranging it! But he misunderstood my exclamation, and added:--
"I comprehend your reluctance, and I confess that I should little liketo advise returning goods bought in good faith, if there were anychance of payment; but--let me see; are you of age?"
"Why, yes; just twenty-one."
"Is it possible? How time passes, to be sure! Yet--ah, the point is notimportant; the tradespeople should not have trusted you. Consider thatyou are unable to pay; the less of two evils is to return the goods assoon as possible, that they may be received undamaged."
"Oh, it's not so bad as that?" I said hastily. "Nearly everybody iswilling to wait, and I--you know Aunt Frank doesn't want me, and Ishould be a--white elephant to Miss Baker. I must live somewhere. It'snot my fault if my only friends are rich, and if I--but why can'tFather--"
"I do not believe your father can pay your debts," he interrupted, "inaddition to the generous sums he has already forwarded, unless--surelyyou were not suggesting that he should mortgage the farm in orderto--pay for paintings?"
"I didn't mean that at all!" I cried; "I never thought of that. But how_do_ people--"
"You and I must do what is to be done, if possible without distressinghim," he said; "your father is not so young as he once was. If you havebought things for which your allowance will not pay, although"--hehesitated a moment, "--the situation is--ah--trying to Mrs. Whitney. Isuppose her half of the common stock is secure?"
"Her half!"
"Has she been leaning upon your slender purse?" he asked not unkindly.
"Why--she saves money by me and I increase her social importance. Ofcourse she had furniture, but it was old and--and--"
I could not find the words to explain to a man my horror of ugliness.He wouldn't have understood.
"Well, well, it makes no difference now. I must arrange matters foryou, and I think you will agree, upon reflection, that the first stepmust be to give up whatever we can."
"But, Uncle--" I tried to speak calmly, to show him thesituation--"Mrs. Whitney is a Van Dam, and they befriended mewhen--why, they would never forgive me; it would be ruin. And even fromthe practical standpoint--you wouldn't like to have your lawbooks sold,would you? Well, people have introduced me--and pretty furniture andpretty clothes and not to have any scandal or any talk--oh, you cansee!"
"In the light of reports that reach me," said the Judge, "I mightsuppose that you"--he hesitated a moment, then continued, in an attemptat a bantering manner, "that you refer to your luxuries as preliminaryto--ah--matrimony, which is said to be the only gainful occupation thatmy sex leaves almost exclusively to yours, and in which fine clothingis undoubtedly an adjuvant. But observation leads me to think that itis a business less profitable than is often imagined. Hm!"
He drummed on the table, and when he continued, he seemed talking togain time, considering what he wished to say.
"I grant you," he said with his cumbrous playfulness, "that thesensibility of flesh and blood to beauty is as broad a fact as theeffect of heat or cold. It is so universally recognised that we take apretty girl, like original sin or the curse of labour, as a _chosejugee_. Her sway must have begun with the glacial drifters and thekitchen middeners and the Engis skull man, when they and the rest ofthe paleoliths were battling with the dodo and the dinornis and thedidifornis, and had no time for the cult of beauty except by proxy. Didit ever occur to you that we men drove a hard bargain with your sexwhen we compelled you to beauty, made you carry the topknots and thetail-feathers? Men propose marriage, women adorn themselves to listen.Let women choose their mates, and they might go as plain as peahens;and men would strut about, displaying wattles, combs and argus-eyedplumes."
"Women would be less beautiful if they proposed?"
"Some could not be, I fear." He pulled down his brows, considering theproposition, then shook his head positively, with a little sigh. "Youwill remember--was it not Darwin who said that women, in order toattract men, borrow the plumage of male birds, which these haveacquired to please the females of their kind? Beauty must be the firstlaw of life to the sex that has not the privilege of choosing. Underthe circumstances, it is surprising how much of plainness women havepreserved. Possibly because of the extraordinary directions whichbeauty culture may take. Burton asserts that the Somali choose wives byranging the women
in line for inspection; she wins a husband of notewho projects farthest _a tergo_. Yet among famous Greek statues thereis also a steatopygous Venus."
The office boy came to the door, and his knock woke Uncle out of hisrevery. He excused himself to his caller, and, returning to me, wenton:--
"I have been--ah--I admit, rather evading the personal question. Iwish, without seeking embarrassing confidences, to remind you thatyoung people are apt to think bad matters--other than businessmatters--worse than they are. I am not asking questions, but, when Iwas younger, cynicism usually hid but ill the scars of heartache. Donot, I pray you, throw yourself away in the gloom of momentaryunhappiness."
Did he guess--about Ned? That I was the one most hurt there? He shouldnever know that I winced. I shrugged my shoulders, ignoring hisfatherly glance, and faced him with a stare meant to be brazen.
"You do not at the present time believe in sentiment?" he said. "Then Ishall adapt my argument to your whim of practicality, and speak of therumours which connect your name with that of young Lord Strathay."
"Oh; that boy!"
"I presume you are right; he does seem to have fallen deeply in lovewith you. But--if indeed, you are dazzled by the glamour of a title--donot be too confident of his fealty. I know men better than you knowthem, my dear. Man loves beauty, but he does not always want to marryit. The rare white swan is admired, but the little brown partridge,clucking as she marshals her covey of chicks, is the type of themarrying woman. Again, no man is master of himself. That Strathaywishes to marry you, I can understand; but, perhaps, when he is notunder the spell of your presence, he falls to wondering how you willpronounce the social shibboleths, and may let 'I dare not' wait upon 'Iwould.' It is idle to deny that, admitting as one must the existence oflines of social cleavage in modern life, it is often a mistake tooverstep their boundaries in matrimony; though as to internationalalliances--"
"Oh," I said, interrupting his prosings with a light laugh, "youmustn't take the matter _au serieux_."
"I take it so because it is serious." The Judge's eyes and his tonewere very grave. "Forgive me if I remind you that these _obiter dicta_have grown out of a discussion of your money affairs, wherein you arebankrupt. If--and I ask your pardon if the supposition does youwrong--if you are relying on a brilliant marriage to help you out offinancial difficulties--"
He hesitated a moment, then went on slowly: "Perhaps I ought to warnyou that, if at any time this does become a serious matter, you willhave powerful opposition. I had not intended to tell you--though now Ideem it best--that Mr. Stephen Allardyce Poultney has lately done methe honour to call; and--"
"Lord Strathay's cousin?" I thought he could hear the thrumming of myheart. This was why he had beaten so long about the bush! "Was he--washe speaking about me?"
I felt a sudden chill of apprehension, and almost feared to hear theanswer.
"He was; he came to the point with a refreshing directness worthy of abusiness man, and said that he wanted to know all about you."
"And you--"
"I need not trouble you with our conversation. In view of theattentions which his Lordship has been paying you, his cousin felt it aduty, he intimated, to make inquiries. He did not care a button, Iinferred, for your position here, as it could not affect LordStrathay's in England; but he had read the newspapers with pardonableperplexity, and asked if you were really the only daughter of a bonanzafarmer. I did not feel it necessary to enter into particulars, butinformed him that your father was rich in honesty and in the possessionof a daughter good and beautiful enough for any Lord that lives. Hethanked me and said 'quite so,' as Englishmen usually do say when theydisagree with one. He added that he would try to get the poorbeggar--for so he referred to his kinsman--away fishing.
"You will note that, in the higher social strata, the choice ofmatrimonial partners has progressed beyond the personal selection soconfidently assumed by the scientists, and has become a matter forrelatives to--"
"And my only relative in New York," I said slowly, wondering how fatalwas this unexpected news, "has made it impossible for me to achieve asuccess that was almost within my grasp."
I don't see that the remark was so very terrible, but he looked at mewith an odd air of astonishment and consternation. Then he seemed toconsider it best to treat my natural disappointment as a joke.
"Not very serious is this conversation, as you have reminded me," hesaid. "You don't wish me to tell that which is not?"
"Why, naturally--no." I was stunned, but I forced a laugh. "But it _is_funny. Why--I was nearer landing the prize than I supposed, wasn'tI?--that is, if I had wanted to land it?"
"Um--yes; it was rather close. But in this world you'll find strong menoften dissuading weak ones from action briefly meditated."
He gazed at me solemnly, portentously, critically.
"Yes," I said, trying to speak with careless ease; "one Lord gone, butthere are others. Don't be too hard upon Strathay, though. He's not sobad. His estates are not heavily encumbered, and he's as likely now towed a music hall singer as a daughter of the Beerage. Perhaps such amarriage as he might have offered is not the best in life, but it issomething that women who love their daughters as well as you love yoursare glad to arrange for them. I should have made Strathay a very decentwife--"
But at the word I stopped; something in the sound of it shattered mycool philosophy.
"Of course, of course," Uncle assented. Then after a pause he went on,hesitatingly:--
"Nelly, these are not matters for a man to discuss with you. Why don'tyou run in and talk with your aunt?"
I hadn't the least intention of calling, but I answered him accordingto his folly.
"I must, some time; but I'm so worried--"
"Ah, yes; those debts. Could you not, if you are determined not to comehome to us, seek less expensive apartments? You know that for any wantsin reason your aunt and I--"
"I--I can't, just yet," I faltered, with a dreary vision before my eyesof such a boarding house as that from which Kitty rescued me.
"Very well, Nelly, but think about it; you will see that to go on asyou are doing would be only throwing money into a bottomless pit. Butbring me your bills to-morrow; I must have facts and figures, if we areto straighten your affairs. Now--you need money--"
He was fumbling for his check book. Badly as I needed help,instinctively I cried:--
"Oh, no; not that!"
"Quite sure? It is the situation that troubles you and not the butcher,the baker--"
"Quite sure."
"I desist. But sleep on what I have said. Remember that I am in yourfather's place, that I--your aunt and I--are very anxious about you."
He took my hand, seeming as perplexed as I am myself. He lookedaffectionate enough, but so futile.
So I came away heartsick. It's useless to argue with Judge Baker. He'sa plebeian from his thick shoe soles to his thin hair; but he's honest.And yet--if he had been less ponderously precise--he might have said:"Why, really, I don't exactly know. Mr. Winship is a well-to-do man. Ithas been years since I knew, but I can ascertain and--"
Or he might just have told the plain truth--that Father has a largeWestern farm. Englishmen think all Western folks are rich. Why, Ibelieve Meg Van Dam would dower me if I were to marry Strathay. I couldmake it worth her while. It wouldn't be the first arrangement of thatsort in New York, either.
If only Strathay had seen me once more, no power on earth could haveprevented an avowal; and marriage with a peer of England would havegiven me a station befitting my beauty.
But perhaps it's not too late. Strathay may not heed his cousin. If hecomes wooing again, I shall not be so silly as I was the last time.Strange that I have not seen him. Can he have gone already?
I might do the London season by borrowing from Meg. It would cost afortune, and--unless Strathay does propose--perhaps even she wouldn'tcare to finance me now.
I wish---
Oh, I wish I could get out of my dreams the ghastly form ofDarmstetter, as I s
aw him dead at my feet! He haunts me all day long,and all the night I dream of him!
And I wish I had not broken John Burke's honest heart--how wistful helooked, as he waited for me at the door of the office and helped me tomy carriage! Perhaps Ned wasn't in the building; perhaps--he may haveavoided me.
I wish I had not brought him sorrow, and I wish--
No, I don't! I just hope Milly is even more wretched than I am!
Father really might mortgage. I could easily pay it back. I wonder Inever thought of that. I'll ask him. I will not take my bills to JudgeBaker--to be lectured on the dodo and on lines of social cleavage--asif any man could be a match for me.
I'll never go back to Aunt Frank! There is Bellmer, now--and Strathaymust soon return to New York, to sail.