Since the man had entered the house, everything she owned was possible evidence. It could be weeks before anything could be sent on to her here.
She unpacked, having learned to do it as soon as she arrived. Coping skills dictated she put her stamp on this room as soon as possible, make it her own turf.
A Bible, the leather cover worn from handling. A pearl necklace. A black sweatshirt to match her mood. Three shirts, a sweater, two pair of jeans. Three books—she had learned, once the adrenaline faded, she would be facing endless days of isolation and boredom. A sketch pad and a full set of colored pencils.
The stuffed bear from Dave went on the nightstand.
It did not take long to unpack. Sara sank down on the side of the bed and rubbed her face with her hands. She could go to bed and face a probable nightmare or she could stay awake and wait for dawn to arrive.
Dave. It hurt knowing her brother was in danger. He would be doing a full-court press tonight, looking for the lead that would break open the case. These first forty-eight hours were critical.
Adam. She hoped he would one day forgive her. She had just managed to destroy a chunk of his life.
The black despair hit.
The sense of being alone was overwhelming. Her heart felt ripped out. Unless the man was caught, Adam was gone for good—and he’d taken a part of her with him.
She had no choice. She could either flex with the blow or let it break her.
The pain was intolerable.
God, You have to give me the strength to hold this together.
The killer was back.…
CHAPTER 13
How are you doing, Sara?” Adam’s voice sounded tired tonight, rough and emotional. Sara pushed back her hair so she could cradle the phone against her shoulder. The last two weeks had been tough on them both. Dave had arranged for Adam to be able to call her every evening at ten. It had become an intensely lonely, isolated wait—waiting for news from Dave, waiting for these brief chances to talk with Adam. She missed him so much she ached inside.
“I’m fine.” If he could see her, her lie would be apparent. Dave and Adam weren’t there to offer comfort, and the dreams terrified her. She didn’t want to add to his stress by talking about something he could do nothing about.
She rubbed her temples, her tension headache gaining the upper hand. She could hear Susan moving around in the next room. Susan and Ben were good about giving her as much privacy as they could. It wasn’t much, though. The safe house didn’t allow for much freedom of movement. “How are you doing?”
“Missing you.”
Sara curled her feet farther up under her on the alcove ledge. It was her favorite place to sit in the rustic home, for its three bay windows allowed her to look out over the back patio to the woods. She could watch the animals come from the forest to nibble on the corn Ben put out, see the birds pick up seeds from the feeders. She knew she was only allowed to sit here because the original window glass had been replaced with something that could stop a sniper’s bullet.
“It’s mutual, Adam.” Not having him nearby left a hollow ache inside. “How’s your family doing?”
No matter how many times Dave reassured her that every precaution was being taken, Mary Beth, Jordan, and the children continued to weigh heavily on her mind. They were in danger because she had made a bad decision. It always circled back to that common denominator. She had been stupid enough to go to a public park with a public figure. Why not just paint a billboard for the guy and announce, I’m right here. Everyone around her was paying because she’d relaxed her guard.
“Sara, quit blaming yourself for this situation.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t help it. In two weeks we should have at least been able to turn up a lead, something. We’ve got nothing. So you live with no life, and your family lives under a cloud of security. Do you know what that is doing to your nieces? Your nephew?”
“Sara. Calm down. I speak to them every day, to Mary Beth, Jordan, and the kids. They are fine.”
“I didn’t mean to drag you into this.” She never should have extended that first invitation. That had been a bad decision as well. There was no reason for Adam to be in the middle of this. It was her own arrogance to think she could avoid the risks that had set up this crisis.
“Stop beating yourself up, Sara. You didn’t drag me into this. You’re not the one playing games.” He bit back something he started to say. “How did you spend your day today?”
She knew the rules. Nothing that said location, time of day, type of weather, type of clothing, towns near or far, local news. “I read a book.”
“You’ve been doing a lot of reading. Have you been able to work on your next children’s book?”
“No.” It was dangerous to say more.
“I will be so glad when this particular separation is over. I owe you dinner.”
She closed her eyes. Don’t you understand, Adam, you may never see me again? Don’t you understand how security works? It may be months if not years. It may be a new identity.
“When will I get to see you again?”
“You won’t. I can’t put you at risk.”
“Come on, Sara. You can’t hide forever.”
“Dave sets my agenda.”
How she wished she could admit to Adam how stir-crazy she was getting, stuck here in a beautiful place but without productive work to do, without her life.
The isolation was eating at her and nothing brought relief. When Dave called, he seemed to sense that, and all he was able to do was urge patience. Sara’s ability to be patient was running out. She had no outlet for the emotions beyond the sketches she could do. She could not work through the intricacies of putting a book together in this place.
God seemed content to make things more confusing. Her devotions kept leading her back again and again to Ecclesiastes 3 that starts: “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”
She kept getting stuck on the third one, “a time to kill, and a time to heal.” She wished it were prophetic but had a feeling it was wishful thinking.
Despite efforts to make the safe house comfortable and restful, it was not home. She wanted to be home again, surrounded by her own things, able to go back to her office where she could bury herself and her emotions in work. But the killer had robbed her of her home. Few things could strike quite that close to her heart. God, he robbed me of my home!
She needed to change the subject. “How are you really doing?”
“You don’t need to worry about me. I’ve got two shadows on my every step.” He tried to make light of it, but she could tell he wasn’t comfortable with the security being so tight. “I’m doing fine. I’m busy.”
She wasn’t sure where he currently was. She knew he had initially been in Montana, then New Mexico.
“Is there anything I can get you?”
His concern reached deep inside her heart. The man cared. He probably cared too much. It was going to be hard to convince him to step back and get on with his life.
“I’m okay, Adam. They are good at providing whatever they can.”
“Everything but freedom of movement.”
“That they can’t provide.”
She didn’t want the conversation to end. But the clock said they had been talking for half an hour. Her time limit on the secure channel was up. “Will you call again tomorrow night?”
“Every night. No matter how long you’re gone. It’s a promise.”
Tears welled up in her eyes. She blinked them away. “Thank you, Adam. Then I’ll say good night. Keep safe.”
“You too, Sara.”
She hung up the phone. How long was this intolerable situation going to last? It was a pretty prison, but it was still a prison.
She worried about Adam. He had never lived under the cloak of protective security before. It took a toll—emotionally, mentally, physically. Living under the stress was incredible. How was he adapting? She heard his frustration.
He tried to downplay the situation, but she knew what it was really like, knew what he was going through. And all of it was because he had the misfortune of meeting her. She owed him for destroying his life.
Lord, how do we catch this guy? Give me something I can do that will end this situation once and for all.
There were people she loved who were in danger. There had to be a way to catch this guy, even if it meant she had to break security to do it.
She pushed to her feet. Didn’t that passage in Ecclesiastes say something about a time for war? She sure felt like waging one. How, she didn’t know. Even if it was just trying yet again for that face she knew lingered somewhere in her mind, it would be better than this endless waiting.
Adam let the phone drop back into its cradle. Sara sounded frustrated. He couldn’t blame her. He couldn’t imagine what it was like on her end of this nightmare. He wearily rubbed the knee he had bruised earlier that day while unpacking. The hotel room was like thousands of others he had stayed in over the years. He thought he was done with this nomadic lifestyle.
A hotel was better than placing a friend in danger. He had a bedroom in the suite, the two FBI agents literally outside his door. They changed hotels every four days. He missed his dog, but Jordan’s kids liked taking care of him.
He had told Sara not to worry about him. He did enough worrying for the both of them. The night Dave had done the security sweep of his condominium, Adam had known he would eventually face a day when the threat to Sara would invade their relationship. He wondered then how he would handle it. Now he knew. He wasn’t handling it very well at all.
He was concerned about his own safety, but he could do something about his situation. Sara’s safety was not in his hands. He went to bed at night praying she was safe, got up the next morning with the same worry.
The emotional toll on her was incredible. The man had gotten into her house, into her room. Short of a face-to-face encounter, it didn’t get more terrifying than that. Sara didn’t have to tell him the nightmares were back. He could hear it in the huskiness of her strained voice.
Adam tried to keep her spirits up, tried to use the phone calls to remind her she still had a life, she still had him. He didn’t know if his efforts were enough to stem the tide. The loss had been so abrupt and complete. Her home, her work, her friends.
Unless Dave got a lead in the case soon, Adam didn’t know how they were going to deal with the situation. He needed to see her. He could do so little to help her while he remained at a distance. Somehow, he had to convince Dave that it was better for them to be together than it was for them to be apart.
After five weeks, anyplace began to feel like home, even this place. Sara inverted the cake pan carefully. It was Adam’s birthday, and if Dave got his act together, he and Adam were going to be here for dinner.
The news had brightened everyone’s mood. Four more agents had joined Susan and Ben, reuniting most of the team working on the case. The day was bright, sunny, and taking on a festive air. They would be her first visitors since she had arrived here.
Sara kept herself busy in the kitchen. She couldn’t get out to buy a gift, but she could ensure Adam got a good meal. Ben had agreed that fixing steaks out on the grill was an acceptable risk. No one had a line of sight to the back patio without being in an area his team patrolled.
Sara had been able to find a few balloons tucked in the back of a drawer and four candles for the cake. She tied the balloons to the back porch railing where at least the breeze would make them dance. She wished they would be able to eat outdoors but knew the answer without having to ask.
“Relax, Sara. They’ll be here soon.”
Sara realized she was pacing the kitchen, watching the clock. She forced herself to settle on one of the kitchen bar stools. “I know, Susan.” The agent had become a friend in the last five weeks. “I’m just nervous.”
“Security is good. You don’t have anything to worry about.”
“It’s not that.”
Susan smiled. “He’s going to be glad to see you. I wouldn’t worry about the rest.”
Sara smiled back, hoping Susan was right.
The car finally arrived. Sara watched Adam look around the area and over at the house as he followed Dave up the walkway.
She bit her lip and forced herself to wait, standing in the living room doorway.
They came into the house.
Adam had a little more gray in his hair, and his face showed the price of five weeks of stress, but he was here. To Sara, that was all that mattered.
She rushed to meet him, not caring who saw, overwhelmed by emotion as she buried herself against his chest. Feeling his arms come around her ended so many doubts.
“It’s good to see you, Sara.” His hug was tight.
At a quiet word from Dave, the security detail left them alone. Sara barely even noticed their exit. She told herself she was not going to cry, but she couldn’t stop the tears.
Adam rubbed her arms. “Hey, it’s okay.”
“Sorry.” She swallowed hard, brushing away the tears. “I promised myself I wasn’t going to do this.”
Adam wiped at a few more of them. “I don’t mind. I’m glad you talked Dave into letting me come. He’s been a brick wall the last five weeks.”
“I’m so sorry you can’t spend your birthday with your family, Adam.”
He smiled. “I’d rather spend it with you.”
Sara was grateful to know he meant it. She slipped her hand in his. “It’s not much, but I’ve got a nice dinner planned.”
“Sounds like a good birthday to me.” He let her lead him toward the kitchen.
Dave was at the patio door, talking with Ben and Susan. Sara crossed the room and gave him a long hug.
Dave hugged her back. “How are you doing, squirt?”
She didn’t even mind his affectionate use of her nickname; she was glad to have him here and unhurt. It was her worst nightmare, leaving her brother in Chicago, knowing he might end up in a shooting match with the man they were after. “Better now that you’re here.”
So far, everything had been quiet. Too quiet, which concerned Sara deeply. Nothing had been uncovered at the house to show how he’d gained access. No one had made inquiries at the newspaper. Surveillance of Adam’s home, his office, her home and office, and the ice cream shop had resulted in no leads. Hundreds of car plates had been checked but revealed no suspicious hits.
The trail was cold.
Her brother was working himself into the ground trying to break the case. She only had to look at him to see the price he had paid during the last five weeks.
“Adam and I are going to put the steaks on the grill.” Sara clutched Adam’s hand and dragged him toward the back patio.
Dave glanced at Ben and got a nod in return. “Remember I like mine medium rare.”
Dinner was everything Sara had hoped it would be. Adam helped her grill the steaks, one arm casually tucked around her shoulders as they leaned against the porch railing, talking, waiting to turn the steaks. It was good to laugh with him, to have him close by.
She had set the table inside for five. When the security details rotated, she would fix a second round of steaks.
She had been worried about the birthday cake, but when she cut the chocolate cake after Adam had blown out the candles, its two layers held its shape.
With a soft plea to Dave, she got permission for them to move to the back porch where they could watch the sunset over the mountains. Dave came with them, carrying his soda can.
The evening was just beginning to turn cool and the breeze was picking up.
Adam watched the sky begin to change colors. “It’s a beautiful view.”
Sara smiled as she leaned against the porch rail, balancing her cake plate. “It’s awesome. Sunsets are always spectacular here.”
Adam touched her arm to point out an owl he had spotted in a nearby tree. “You’re cold. Where’s your jacket?”
“The utili
ty room off the kitchen.”
“I’ll be right back. Want another soda?”
“Sure. Thanks.”
Adam nodded and went into the house.
Dave joined her at the railing.
“Thanks for bringing Adam. I know you probably took some heat to make it happen.”
“It distracted you for a few days, so it was worth the effort.”
“I’m here indefinitely, aren’t I?”
“Something is wrong, Sara. It feels like New York again. We’re missing something.”
Sara paused, then nodded. “Thanks for arranging today then.”
“I’ve got some ideas we’re kicking around. It’s not hopeless yet. Give me a couple more weeks, okay?”
Sara forced a smile. He didn’t need another burden. He was already doing everything he could. Her nightmares were her own problem. “Sure.”
The sound was loud and startling. Sara felt something hit her cheek. The next second Dave took her over the rail of the patio with one sweeping arm. She couldn’t breathe under his weight but knew it didn’t matter. She heard his gun cock beside her ear.
All was quiet for several long moments. Dave took a deep breath. “Sorry.” The gun safety went back on.
It had been a balloon popping. A balloon…that was all. It must have been blown by the breeze to touch the hot edge of the grill where it had instantly exploded.
“You got cake on my favorite shirt,” Sara remarked, trying to shake off the disorientation. She had been taken to the ground too many times by Dave to overreact to a false alarm. Given the tension level they had been living with for the last five weeks, it had been due. She moved very carefully and began to assess how many new bruises she had just picked up. Dave had taken her over the railing in a sweeping, instinctive move. From the deck railing to the ground was not a minor two-feet fall.
Dave extended his hand.
Ben and Susan were there, standing almost on top of them. Two other agents had come in view, signaled in by the radio call.