It was already half past eight when I got to the restaurant. I should have called Robyn and let her know I was running late. The reason that I didn’t was that I was running late because I hadn’t decided to go until the very last minute. Once I finally stopped waffling back and forth, I was already late and I thought it would be better if I just explained myself when I got there.
All week I had been going back and forth about it. I would tell myself I wasn’t going. Robyn was too fascinated by Christmas and since it was almost Christmas time, I would get roped into all of her “Christmassy” activities or I would break her heart when I left for Belize and refused to do Christmas with her. Either way, it was a bad situation. It was too close to Christmas to lead her on. The holiday obviously meant a lot to her.
I would pick up the phone to call her and tell her all that but before I dialed her number, I would put it back down and start the argument for going to the restaurant. I would tell myself that not dating her because she liked Christmas was ridiculous. It was true; it was probably the most ridiculous reason for not dating a person that I’d ever heard. If I knew it was ridiculous, imagine how it would sound to other people. I may as well just stop dating period. Everyone loves Christmas, except for me. I had my reasons of course, but that was also something I didn’t want to have to talk about. I liked Robyn. What would be wrong with dating her? She would eventually come to understand that we would just always differ on the subject of Christmas… right?
Finally after debating it to death in my head and getting very little work done all week, I decided to go. First and foremost because I hadn’t seen her since Saturday and I really missed her face. Second of all because I’d never called her to decline and just not showing up would be much too rude. Thirdly, I was hoping if I made contact with her and maybe got a few things settled, I’d be able to concentrate on something else for a while and actually get some work done. It was only a date after all.
I walked inside and was still standing near the front of the restaurant when I saw her. She looked so beautiful that even from a distance she took my breath away. She was seated at a table with three other couples and the seat next to her was empty. Presuming it was for me, I started over. That was when I saw Gary. He worked for me and I had seen him at the auction, bidding like mad for Robyn. I asked Max if there was anything between them and he had laughed. He told me that Robyn is too nice to tell him to get lost, and that Gary was infatuated with her. I could see the way he was looking at her now, with worship in his eyes. Before I made it as far as the bar, Gary was taking my seat. I cursed myself in my head and turned towards the bar. I didn’t think that she’d invited Gary in my place. What I thought was that she had to save face because like an idiot, I hadn’t shown up and I hadn’t called.
I glanced back over at them. Robyn had her back to me now and the light over the table shone off her silky, honey gold hair. I wanted to touch it… I wanted to kiss her again. I had a wild urge to go over and force Gary out of my chair. He was my employee after all. I could use my clout to get rid of him. I didn’t do any of those things. Thank God for impulse control and common sense. I knew that I was too late and if I went over now I would make her and everyone else at the table uncomfortable. I would never use my power over an employee like that either. I doubted that Robyn would be okay with it. She didn’t seem like the type who would be impressed by such nonsense. With a final glance at her lovely profile, I left. I felt like a fool. It wasn’t a feeling I was used to.
***