I was sitting at my table, talking with Hal and Doug about boring work issues when I looked up and saw an angel walk through the door. Robyn was wearing a dress that was the same color as the one I’d bought her that first day, the one she hadn’t worn to the restaurant. It was shorter and her legs were gorgeous. I loved that color on her though, it was the exact same blue as her eyes and the reason that I’d bought it for her in the first place. I never told her that I’d picked it out myself. I had the poor woman at the boutique show me ten or twelve dresses before the color of one was just right. I wanted to go over and say hello, but she hadn’t seen me yet. I could see her talking and laughing with some of the people from her department. She looked so happy and so festive; I didn’t want to interrupt. Happy and festive, I was not.
She took a seat at the table with the others from marketing. Part of me was happy to see that she hadn’t brought a date. The other part of me told myself that I had a lot of nerve. I’d basically shunned her at every turn. She’d reached out to me so many times. I had no right to expect her to remain single and mooning over me until this blasted holiday was over with no matter how much I hoped that would be the case.
Dinner was served and while I ate and tried to keep up with the conversation at my own table I couldn’t keep from looking over at her. She was surrounded by an aura, I think, that drew people to her. Every time I looked at her she seemed to be making someone else laugh. People were gathered around her and I understood why… I wanted to be there too. I knew if I was I’d be self-conscious and I would find myself believing that people were only being nice to me because they wanted something… everyone except Robyn. I’d never met anyone else like her. I stayed where I was; it was better this way, but my mood only got darker because of it.
Dinner seemed excruciatingly long as I forced myself to make pleasant conversation with those around me. Everyone was raving about how delicious the salmon was and going on about the cheesecake that was served for dessert. I ate along with everyone else, but I barely tasted any of it. My mind was too preoccupied to register something as insignificant as taste.
When dinner was finally over, it was time for me to give my annual speech. I took the stage, determined not to look at Robyn while I was there so that I’d be able to recall the words I’d written to address my employees and colleagues tonight.
“Good evening everyone. Thank you all for coming this evening. I’d like to start out by telling you all how nice you look tonight. This is usually the only time of year I get to see you all out in your formal wear. I have to say, you all wear it well. It’s great to get together like this and see you all with your significant others and having fun instead of working as hard as you normally are when I see you. I’d like to raise a toast to you all and that those smiles I see on your faces last through the upcoming year.”
Everyone raised their glasses and said their “Here here’s” and their “To you too boss’s!” I made the mistake of glancing at Robyn then. She was holding up her glass, smiling at me. I froze for several seconds. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I suddenly realized that an uncomfortable silence had fallen across the room. I snapped back to what I was doing and attempted to cover for myself.
“Forgive me, I was trying to think of the best way to say this next part. The Japanese say that business is war. I think that most days, they’re right. Nothing about establishing and building this business was easy. I do have to say though that it’s a war I couldn’t have fought alone. Every one of us in this room has fought one hell of a battle this past year. It was a battle that we won. It shows in our numbers and our customer satisfaction ratings. I’d love to thank you all individually, but since I’m likely to forget someone I’ll say this: Each and every one of us has done our part and it’s resulted in one of the best years that Winters Incorporated has ever had, so pat yourselves on the back, you deserve it.” Again, I looked at Robyn and she was doing as one may have guessed, patting herself on the back. I tried to keep a straight face, I’m not sure I was doing a very good job… I had to struggle to remember where I’d left off.
“In the past year we have gained three lucrative partnerships. One with Granite Projects in New Zealand, one with Kosovo Ltd. out of Russia, and most recently, Xiong Enterprises in China. I signed the papers and arranged the meetings, but the truth of the matter is that if I didn’t have good people behind me doing the work, there would have been no papers to sign. So again, thank you all.” I had to look and see if Robyn was patting herself again. She wasn’t. This time, she had stood up and taken a bow. This woman was killing me.
I had to refocus again to go on and tell everyone that their Christmas bonuses would be ready for them to pick up either over the weekend or on Monday morning. That got a rise out of them all and as the crowd cheered and applauded I saw Robyn put up her fingers and rub them together. She was making a money sign. I had to tear my eyes from her once again and get back on track. I highlighted the upcoming year and all of the positive things we had to look forward to. At last, I wrapped it up with, “That’s all I want to say for now, other than to tell you that there will be free champagne at the bar for the next hour to help the party go with a swing!” Then I held up my glass and said, “Cheers and happy holidays to you all.” They were clapping again and my eyes cut back to Robyn. She had picked up about five empty glasses and was pretending to jog over to the bar to fill them up. She had her friends laughing and me wishing I were one of them. It was strange that I had such good self-confidence, yet the thought of acting silly in public made me shudder. I thought it was cute when she did it though…
After I got off the stage, I headed over to the bar for some of that champagne myself. This was the part I hated the most about being the boss. As soon as I was spotted, I practically got accosted by every ass-kisser in the place. I understood working hard and being civil to get ahead in your job. I didn’t understand completely cowing down to someone. Rich or not, boss or not, I was only a man. I hated the way these people treated me like I was more than that… mostly for what they hoped would be their own personal gain. I heard things like, “You’re the greatest boss ever!” and “You look great boss, have you lost weight?” No one really saw me; they saw what I represented instead, everyone that was, except for Robyn. I truly believed that when she looked at me, she saw Aaron.
I glanced back over towards the table where she sat. Like I said, she had this aura about her. She still had people flocked around her, men and women alike. Her admirer Gary had brought a date to the party, but it didn’t stop him from being right there where she was, looking at her adoringly. She wasn’t the kind of woman who didn’t have choices. I wondered if I waited until I came back from my trip to make any kind of move, if I would completely blow my only chance with her.
For one night I wished that I wasn’t the CEO of this company. I wished instead that I was one of them, just a regular guy who worked here, so I could go over there and laugh and joke and enjoy the party for a change. Sighing heavily again, I told myself that wishing was a pointless waste of time. I was Aaron Winters, CEO and I had to maintain my professionalism at all times when my company and my employees are involved. I had a reputation to uphold. I was this company and I always had to remember that.
I turned back to my drink, finished it and got up to leave. The party was over for me. I’d made my appearance and I’d done my duty. I was going to go home now where there were no red and green decorations and no Christmas music playing. I started to get up and felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and was looking into Robyn’s beautiful blue eyes.
“Why so serious?” she said, doing her best “Joker” impression. She’d probably be surprised to know I was a big “Dark Knight” fan. It was a movie I watched at home, alone. I’m not sure if powerful men were supposed to like comic book movies, so I kept it to myself.
I did have to smile though. Just looking at her made me want to do that. “This is just not really my kind of party,” I said.
“A party’s a party. Look around you. Everyone is having a great time and best of all, it’s because of you. You did this for them, for all of us. You should be happy that everyone is enjoying themselves so much.”
“I am happy people are having fun.”
“Then you should try and have some yourself. Ignore the Christmas atmosphere if you must and relax a little. Being so serious all the time isn’t good for your health, and besides, it will give you frown lines and you’ll have to spend money on Botox injections. Then, you’ll have no expression at all.”
I laughed, she was too much sometimes.
“Dance with me,” she suddenly blurted out.
I looked out on the dance floor where people who’d had too much free champagne were moving around with jerky and in some cases mildly obscene movements. It was all set to a “Rocking around the Christmas tree” soundtrack. They could get away with that, they were only employees of the company. If I did it, they would talk about it for years to come.
“I don’t think so, but thanks,” I told her.
“Aw, come on, party-pooper. I don’t have a date and everyone else does. You wouldn’t want to be responsible for me sitting in a corner all alone without anyone to dance with, would you?”
“Guilt, that’s dirty pool.”
“Yes, I admit that it is,” she said with a grin. “All that matters is whether or not it worked.”
A slow Christmas song started then. This was exactly why I hadn’t seen her in three weeks. When she looked at me with those eyes I couldn’t say no.
“Okay, one dance… a slow one.”
She giggled and clapped her hands together like a little girl. Before I knew it, she was towing me out to the dance floor. I took her into my arms and we started swaying to the slow music. I could feel everyone looking at us. I wondered what they were saying about me, the boss who hates Christmas… dancing with an employee.
“Relax,” she said.
“What?”
“You’re so tense. Don’t worry about what anyone else is thinking. Pretend that it’s just you and me, dancing alone in a deserted room.” I wished it were. I tried to relax my muscles, but the more I thought about them, the tenser they got.
Robyn started singing. She knew every word to the song and her voice was lovely. I could feel her warm breath on my neck and smell the fresh, clean fragrance of her hair. For a few seconds I closed my eyes and tried to breathe in her energy. It worked for a while. While the song went on I didn’t see or feel or hear anything but the sound of her beautiful voice and the feel of her warm body against mine. I wanted to kiss her so badly that at one point I had to bite my own lip to stop myself. The song ended… I’m not sure how long ago it had ended when suddenly I realized that I was still standing there, holding her in my arms, looking into her eyes and dying to kiss her.
When I glanced around the room I realized that absolutely everyone was looking at us. I could feel the hot color flooding my cheeks…
“Ouch! Oh my!” Suddenly I felt her go slack in my arms and she fell to the floor.
“Robyn! Are you okay? What’s wrong?” I bent and picked her up as people rushed over.
“I hurt my ankle,” she said. “I’m okay. Do you mind taking me over by the door? I think I just need some fresh air.”
“Of course,” I told her. I put my arm around her waist and the people cleared a path for us. She limped against me until we were outside. I sat her down on one of the ledges where the plants and flowers were planted in front of the convention hall. I knelt next to her and said, “Let me look at your ankle.”
She winked at me and said, “I’m really fine. I could see how uncomfortable you were getting in there. I pretended to be hurt so they didn’t question why we were standing in each other’s arms with no music playing.”
I had to smile at her again. She looked so proud of herself.
“Well, that was quite the save,” I said, getting up and sitting next to her. “Thank you.”
She grinned, “You’re welcome,” she said. “Any time.”
“I should be going,” I told her.
“Why? It’s early yet. You seemed to just be starting to have fun.”
“I was, with you. I have to admit that dancing with you was the best part of the evening. I’m just not comfortable with that much attention. I have a lot to do before my trip, so I really should go.”
She suddenly looked up and said, “Okay, but there’s one Christmas tradition that I haven’t had a chance to get you to take part in this year and I’d really appreciate it if you would join me in this one last thing…”
I raised an eyebrow. She wasn’t ever going to get it, Christmas and I just didn’t mix. I had to ask though, “What tradition is that?”
She pointed above our heads. There was a sprig of mistletoe hanging on a line between the two trees, tied up with a red bow. This was the one thing out of all the traditions that I really was interested in, at least tonight with Robyn. I wanted to kiss her so badly that my chest almost physically ached. I couldn’t do that though. If I kissed her now, feeling the way that I did, I’m not sure I’d be able to walk away without telling her how I felt. It wasn’t the right time though. I was getting on a plane in two days. When I got back….
She leaned in towards me and I could feel her warmth. I had to physically pull myself away to keep from meeting her lips. I wanted to kiss her worse than I’d wanted anything for a really long time. Instead I stood up and said, “I have to go.”
I walked away from her and when I got almost to the parking lot, I turned back and looked. Robyn looked like I’d just broken her heart. I almost went back, it was killing me. I didn’t though. If I went back and kissed her, things would just get more complicated. I turned back around and continued on to my car. All I could hope was that she didn’t hate me too much to talk to me when I got back.
~
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
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ROBYN