I’d left my apartment the day before with the knowledge that I wasn’t going out of town for Christmas this year. I would have been sitting on the beach but my mind would have been here in New York. Rather than put myself through that, I’d just stay here. I made the phone calls to cancel all of the arrangements and when I called Jeffrey to let him know the plans had changed, I could hear the smile in his voice. I had to call Janice as well. If something came up when I was in Belize, she’d be looking for me at the hotel. I needed her to know that I’d be in town. She literally squealed when I told her.
“Oh Mr. Winters! You’re staying home for Christmas this year? I’m so happy. It’s really the best time in the world to be in this city. You won’t regret it. You can have dinner with us…”
When I was able to find a way in I said, “Thank you, Janice but I think I already have plans.” Like Jeffrey, I didn’t have to see her to know she was gushing with delight. I never really thought about how many people were affected even just a little bit by my aversion to Christmas. It was all about me for so long. I’d caused people to worry about me.
After I’d taken care of all of that, I had shopping to do. I spent hours trying to decide what to get for Robyn and I got a whopping big dose of what it was like to last minute shop on Christmas Eve. The thing that struck me the most about it was that people were basically nice although everyone was fighting for a parking spot and grabbing for the same things off the shelf. It seemed like a “Merry Christmas” was readily on everyone’s lips and people were quicker to smile at a stranger than usual. I suppose that’s the “Christmas spirit” people go on about. At the last store I went to I found it. It was as if it had been made for her. I handed the man my credit card and pointed at it under the glass.
“I want that one,” I’d told him.
“Of course, sir. Wouldn’t you like to look more closely at it, or know how much it costs?”
“No, I’ve seen enough and I don’t care how much it is. That’s the one.”
He wrapped it in a beautiful silver box and for the first time in my life I was thrilled to buy a Christmas gift.
It was late evening when I got home. I was sorely tempted to open the present Robyn left for me, but I didn’t. Instead I went through the mail on my hall table from the week and I actually opened the Christmas cards, read them, and put them out on the mantle. I felt like Scrooge waking up after the visits from the three ghosts. It had only taken one spirit to open my eyes and that was Robyn’s.
After a light dinner I went to bed hoping the night would pass quickly. I woke up at five a.m. like a boy anxious to see what Santa brought me and couldn’t go back to sleep. I remembered that I did have a present to open this morning. Once I saw what was in the package, I was glad I waited. I wouldn’t have time to think about changing my mind now. I pulled out the sweater and I laughed out loud. I rarely laughed and even more rarely when I was alone. Robyn had touched me in so many ways in the short time that I’d known her. I pulled on the sweater and wore it proudly through the lobby of my building and out the door. I could tell the doorman wanted to laugh. I found myself wishing that he would. The difference between Robyn and everyone else was that she would laugh at me just like I was a normal person.
When I got to her place and she opened the door, I literally felt my heart jump up into my throat. She was standing there in a tattered old robe and slippers with long, curly tendrils of hair sticking to her face and looking at me with those sexy blue eyes. All I wanted to do was take her into my arms and kiss her senseless. She had no idea how beautiful she was.
After eating a delicious breakfast we went in to watch this movie that she loved so much. Mr. Pibbs didn’t snub it as she thought he might. Instead, he climbed up into my lap and made himself comfortable. I was growing fond of the cat, but had I a choice; I would have had his beautiful friend in that spot instead. For the time being, I pet him and settled down into the couch to watch the movie. I wasn’t a snob like Mr. Pibbs, but it had been a long time since I’d seen a black and white film. It was strange and hard for me to get used to at first.
In the beginning of the movie when the stars were talking to each other about the little boy who fell through the ice I thought, “Oh great, a silly movie that I’ll have to pretend to like.” It hurts my manhood a little bit to admit this, but by the time it ended, Robyn wasn’t the only one with tears in her eyes. I remembered bits and pieces of it. This was the one Robyn had quoted in the emails she sent me and the one my mother always watched on Christmas Eve when I was a boy. She had been right again; it was a very touching movie, and it touched me deeper than ever because I was again reminded of my mother and happier times. Christmas had been a small part of the movie, but the message had been clear: Be kind to others and your rewards will be reaped ten-fold.
“So, did you like it?” she asked me.
I shrugged, trying to play it cool as I said, “It was okay.”
She laughed and said, “Okay… yeah right. You loved it. I see the tears in your eyes.”
“I’m allergic to cats,” I told her. “That’s allergy you see in my eyes.” She giggled and looked at the clock.
“I should start dinner.”
“Are we having it for lunch?” I asked her.
“I thought mid-day would be good. Is that okay with you?” she asked.
“Perfect,” I told her. “Can I help you do something?”
“Sure, follow me and I’ll put you to work,” she told me with a smile.
I did as I was told, and she did as promised. She laid out the ingredients I would need to make a salad and handed me a knife. I cut and sliced and chopped as she split open the lobsters and seasoned them and then seasoned and tenderized the steaks. I hadn’t ever cooked dinner with a woman. It was an intimate experience, reaching across each other for things and sliding past her to get to the sink. I was breathing heavily and my palms were sweaty fifteen minutes into it.
“Can you hand me that pepper grinder?” she asked.
I picked it up and held it out to her. When she took it from me out fingers brushed against each other and I felt the shock waves all the way into my toes. Our eyes met and for about a second I considered kissing her again. Instead, I decided to give her something that I thought she might appreciate more… I told her about my life and why I hated Christmas.
ROBYN