Brogan leaned against the wall, her arms crossed under her chest, watching me. She was probably waiting for me to break and if I did, I knew she would be there to pick up the pieces.
What had happened in the van was dark and dangerous. I could still hear our cries of anguish and pleasure as they mixed together.
Greyson had driven us to the hospital, staying with us until the doctor could get me in.
I could never repay him or his club for what they had done. I owed them for what they did for Brogan and helping me to safety. Although it wasn’t in time and shit still happened, I was alive. But a part of me wished I wasn’t. The guilt had set in, eating and twisting at my stomach. I had no reason to feel this way, Brogan was right, but I still couldn’t stop it.
Once the doctor told me to get some rest, he left.
For the first time in three days, I was alone with Brogan.
The weight of everything that had happened finally settled on my shoulders. It knocked the breath out of me.
Brogan slid onto the bed beside me. “I love you,” she whispered. “We’ll get through this. I will do everything I can to help you heal.”
“I don’t deserve you,” I said, my voice cracking.
“You’re stuck with me, Coby,” she kissed my lips. “For as long as you’ll have me.”
“Forever,” I admitted. “I want you forever.”
Her breath caught. “Then you’ll have me. Always.”
***
(Brogan)
Only time could heal the wounds created by those monsters.
Coby held me against him, petting his hand over my head and whispered over and over how much he loved me. Every so often, his battered body would shudder, like he was trying to shake off the memories of the past two days. The forty-eight hours that he had been missing.
His hand reached beneath my shirt, curling around my side. His tense body relaxed a little at touching my skin.
I looked up at him. “We’ll be okay, Coby. You will be okay. You’re strong. You’re the strongest man I know. Look at what you’ve been through already.”
His eyes shone. Kissing my shoulder, he squeezed me tight. “How’s your wrist?”
I huffed at the change in subject. “Hurts like a bitch but luckily it was a clean break,” I mumbled, lifting my arm that now had a cast on it. “But it won’t stop me from losing myself in you.”
He cleared his throat. “We’ll lose ourselves together.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
“Good,” I shivered. “Because I need you right now. No Vice-One. No King’s Harlots. I need just you and me. For days. Weeks. Months. The rest of our lives. I don’t give a shit. Please give that to me.”
He nodded. “You have my fucking word.”
“Where the fuck are they?”
Coby and I looked at each other at the sound of Angel’s deep voice booming from the hallway. It had sounded like a tank was rolling on through the building. After Greyson had called them once we arrived to the hospital, I knew they would show up. I had just hoped it wouldn’t have been so soon. Coby needed rest. Time. He didn’t need the badgering of his brothers asking questions.
“I got this,” I told Coby, kissing him hard on the mouth.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I rose from the bed. “I’m not in the mood to put up with anyone’s shit. Your brothers are no exception.” Not waiting for a response from him, I headed out into the hall and shut the door behind me.
Angel was talking to reception when he looked my way.
Asher whispered something in his ear but it seemed to die off in the air as Angel glared at me.
His jaw clenched, his face turning a deep shade of red.
Stone clapped a hand on Asher’s shoulder, nodding my way.
“I don’t even know what to say to you right now.”
I jumped, spinning around and saw Jay standing a few feet away from me with Meeka and Creena on either side of her.
“Why didn’t you come to us?” Jay continued. “We could have helped you.”
“By doing what, Jay?” My question was laced with malice but at that point, I didn’t care. “You couldn’t have done shit. I needed to do it on my own.”
“You could have been killed,” Jay cried.
“Well I wasn’t.” She was right though. My emotions had led me to Coby. Nothing else.
“Out of everyone, I never thought it would be you that would betray us,” Jay muttered, her voice cracking.
“I’m sorry.” I rubbed the back of my neck, my muscles twitching at the added movement. “I am. But I couldn’t have you there with me. It would kill me if something happened to you. I’ve already lost Benny. I can’t …” I forced the intensity of the night back, not needing it to break me down again. It could wait. When Coby and I were alone.
“Why didn’t you call us?” Angel bit out. “You don’t think we could have helped?”
“Listen.” I turned on him. “I didn’t call you because of what happened to Dale. You’re about to be a father, Angel. Maybe it was selfish of me to do this on my own but I’d rather you all hate me then be the reason for your deaths. Or worse.” I knew eventually they would want to know what happened. I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to tell my sisters or if Coby could ever tell his brothers. They were too close to us.
“Fuck,” Angel shook his head. “I want to stay pissed but I understand.”
“We all do,” Asher added. “With what happened to Dale, I get it.”
“Exactly. I am sorry,” I told them. “But I had to go with my gut. So, I called Greyson and his club. I knew they could handle anything and … well …”
“Not get too fucked up over it?” Stone added, leaning against the wall across from me.
“Yeah,” I muttered.
“How is he doing?” Angel asked.
“Physically? He has a broken arm and a couple broken ribs from the accident. Bruises and cuts as well. The stab wounds are from … are from being tortured. He was shot but that was dealt with.” I swallowed hard. “Mentally …”
“Fuck me,” Angel snarled.
Jay stepped into his side, wrapping her arms around his middle.
“I don’t know if he’ll ever be able to talk about what happened,” I added quickly before I closed up completely. “But he’s alive.”
“Be there for him,” Stone said to me. “That’s all he’ll need to get through this.”
I nodded, my throat burning.
“If you need us,” Meeka placed a hand on my shoulder. “We will be there.”
“I …” Tears streamed down my face. “I’ve done horrible things.”
“We’ll talk in a couple of days,” Angel said. “Right now, let’s see him and then go visit Dale.” He glanced my way. “We will need to know what went down. Not the full details if neither of you can handle that but we need to know if things will still be an issue.”
Meaning, if we took out Tina and Zane or not.
I nodded. “Coby needs you guys but please don’t ask questions.” I wasn’t sure if I could handle them.
I pushed open the door. “Coby? The guys are here to see you.”
Coby pushed himself up higher in bed. “Hey,” he greeted his brothers. “How’s Dale doing?”
After the guys entered the room, I shut the door behind them, giving them the privacy they needed.
“Brogan, there’s something we should tell you.” Jay looked at Meeka and Creena.
“What is it?” I frowned, my heart thumping at the possibility of being given more bad news.
Meeka took a breath. “Max lost the baby.”
My brothers stood around me. All of them except for Dale. I made a mental note to go visit him before I left the hospital. “Any news?”
“None,” Angel muttered, slumping down in the metal chair beside my bed.
Asher did the same on the other side of me while Stone leaned against the wall a few feet away. I realized he d
id that often. Maybe since he was new in Vice-One, he felt like he didn’t belong quite yet. I didn’t agree. He was there and that’s all I wanted.
“How are you doing?” Stone asked, nodding toward me.
“I …” Memories from the past two days threatened to take hold of my mind. “A lot of shit went down.”
“You were gone for two days,” Asher said. “I imagine you don’t want to talk about it but know that we are here for you, brother.”
I swallowed hard, nodding.
“Something happened though,” Angel pressed. “Brogan’s different.”
And she would be for a long time. I had to earn her trust back. “We have a lot of stuff to work through. It will be hard. Tina and Zane put a wedge between us. But please don’t ask what happened. Whenever Brogan is ready to talk about it, we can discuss it then but until that happens, it stays between her and I.”
“We understand.” Angel rubbed the back of his neck.
“I want to kill them for what they did,” Asher mumbled.
He didn’t have to worry about that. “We’ll talk about that later but know that Tina will no longer be an issue.”
“You’ll have to tell us how Brogan took her out,” Stone rubbed his jaw. “That woman of yours is strong as fuck.”
She was. He was right about that.
“Coby needs his rest,” Angel rose to his full height and clapped a hand on my shoulder. “Take care of yourself, brother.”
I nodded. It was the only thing I could do for fear of completely losing it like a little pussy.
“Get better. I need a workout partner.” Asher winked.
“We need you back in the field,” Stone’s gaze darkened. “But you need to take care of you and that woman of yours first.”
“I will,” I mumbled. “Thank you.”
Adjusting myself in the bed, I tried everything to get comfortable but the mattress was hard as shit and Brogan wasn’t with me. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I pinched the bridge of my nose.
“Coby.”
My gaze snapped up, finding Angel still in the room.
He came over to the bed and sat on the mattress. “I know Dale is your best friend and you talking is like pulling fucking teeth but I need some reassurance that you’re okay.”
I searched his face, waiting.
“Listen,” Angel rubbed the back of his neck which I had come to know was his signature move whenever he was nervous. “You’re going to make me fucking ask, aren’t you?”
“That depends on what you want to know.”
“Fuck,” he muttered. “What happened?”
“What didn’t happen? I had no choice but to do things that I didn’t want to do so Brogan would be safe. Even her life had never been threatened; there was nothing I could do if I wanted to live.”
“Shit, man.”
“Exactly.” I paused. “Have you ever done something thinking it was the right thing to do only to regret it later?”
“We all have, Coby,” Angel shifted his weight on the edge of the bed. “It’s a part of life.”
“Life.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes. “Yeah.”
“How did Tina and Zane put a wedge between you two?”
I didn’t want to answer that but I did anyway. “I fucked Tina.”
***
(Brogan)
“Oh God,” I slid down the wall, landing hard on the floor. “I … she …” My chest constricted, taking my words away.
“We tried calling you,” Jay explained. “But I now know why you didn’t answer your phone.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for her. For all of you.” I dropped my head in my hands. “I’m sorry.”
“We understand,” Meeka sat beside me. “Max lost the baby two days ago. The doctor said it was due to stress.”
“I knew she hadn’t been feeling well but I had no idea that something was actually wrong.” My heart ached for my sister. “How is she doing?”
“She’s …” Jay let out a sigh. “Not good. She buried the baby but she wouldn’t let any of us go with her.”
My eyes widened. “She buried the baby on her own?”
“Yes,” Jay’s chin quivered. “She’s still staying with us but she won’t leave her room. I’m worried about her.” Jay placed her hand on her bump. “I try hiding my belly as best I can but it’s getting harder and harder.”
“Shit,” I leaned my head back against the wall. “We take one step forward and a million back.”
“No fucking kidding,” Creena grumbled.
“Max is strong. She will get through this.” Jay sat on the other side of me, grabbing my hand. “All of us need to stick together right now. No more secrets. We have to be there for each other and for Max.”
“I understand,” I leaned my head against her shoulder and lifted my broken wrist. “What I’ve experienced in the past couple of days is nothing compared to what Max must be going through right now.”
“Don’t compare your pain to hers,” Creena said. “We all handle our shit differently. I don’t know what happened between you and Coby but I can see it in your eyes that you’re hurting.”
“I …” I swallowed past the hard lump in my throat. “Tina and Zane started going after males. It’s why Zane killed Benny because Benny wouldn’t agree to it. Zane needed to get his sister a new toy. I’m still not sure why Greyson was there when Benny was shot. He won’t tell me shit.” Bile rose to my throat at the memories of the night before. “Coby and I went to see his contact and when we left, we got hit. And … and …”
Jay squeezed my hand.
“Tina tried everything to destroy us. I’m worried for Coby. She fucking broke him.” A sob escaped me as fresh tears welled in my eyes. This emotional shit was starting to grate on my nerves.
“Oh God,” Meeka clasped a hand to her mouth. “He didn’t.”
“He had no choice,” I cried. “It was either that or they would come find me or kill him. Zane already found me once. I love Coby. I love him with everything that I am but this won’t be easy for him to get past.”
“Shit.” Jay let out a low whistle. “I can’t … wow.”
Creena shook her head. “I can’t wait to find out what you did to her.”
***
(Coby)
“Shit,” Angel paced back and forth. “You have got to be fucking kidding me right now. And Brogan knows all of this?”
“Yes.” I had told Angel everything. A part of me felt a little better over letting it all out but it still wasn’t enough.
“I …” Angel shook his head. “I know nothing I say will make any of this better but I have a shit ton of respect for you right now, my brother.”
“You do?” I asked, raising an eye brow. “How?”
“Coby, you saved Brogan’s life. Yes, this will be hard for you to get past but in the short months I’ve known her, she’s a reasonable woman. I’ve seen her work. I understand the whole kill or be killed shit.”
“You’re not judging me?” I asked, my voice thick.
“Fuck no,” Angel sat back on the bed. “As much as it would have killed me, I probably would have done the same thing. It wasn’t like you had a choice.”
“I had no strength to fight but I did what I could. It wasn’t enough though.”
Angel let out a heavy sigh. “I want you to take as much time as you need. I’m recommending a medical leave.”
“Okay,” I whispered, not having the strength to argue.
“Let me go get your woman,” Angel rose from the bed and paused for a beat before pulling me into a hug. “I love you, man.”
I hugged him back. “I love you too.”
Coby was finally coming home from the hospital today. It had only been a couple of days but it felt like a year when I wanted the solidarity of having him all to myself. I needed his hands on me, the reassurance that we would always be together even after everything that has happened. I needed him. And I needed to show him that I wouldn’t leave. Ever.
r /> Both of us almost laughed when the doctor told us not to have sex until Coby’s wounds had healed. Too late for that. My mind took me back to our dangerous moment in the van.
“Brogan,” Coby whispered, brushing his nose into the crook of my neck.
I squeezed his knee, impatiently waiting for the cab driver to drive us through the city and back to Coby’s place.
“I need your warmth,” Coby muttered, licking his tongue up my ear.
I needed him too. More than he could ever know or understand.
He was still healing from his injuries so I knew it would give me the power to dominate and have control over him. This battle wouldn’t last. I got that. But right now, he knew I needed his submission.
“Tell me you need me.” His hand inched beneath the hem of my shirt, his rough calloused fingers grazing over my skin. “Tell me you can’t wait to have me inside you.”
A shiver rippled down my spine but I still didn’t give him the words he asked for.
“Please, Brogan,” he pleaded, brushing his fingers up my torso to my breast. Running his thumb over the puckered peak, he pinched it.
A soft gasp escaped me, heat curling low in my belly.
“Tell me,” he demanded, his voice taking on that tone that I had come to love over the past couple of months.
Turning toward him, I licked my tongue along his bottom lip. “No.”
His eyes burned into mine at my defiance.
The cab pulled to a stop in front of Coby’s apartment building.
I paid the driver and helped Coby out of the vehicle. He was stiff and walking slow but the doctor had said that he was on the mend. If he took it easy. Well right now, neither of us wanted easy.
It was sick and twisted but I knew that Coby wanted to feel the pain and anger that bitch had caused me. I knew it had never been his intention but knowing that he had been inside another woman, forced this new darkness to come to light.
Once we reached the elevator, Coby pulled me back against him. His hand remained up my shirt, his lips moving ever so gently over my neck and just below my ear.
Pushing against him, I reached behind me and cupped his erection over his pants.