“That’s some high-tech security,” I said in awe.
“In my line of work, you can never be too safe.” Coby pulled into a parking spot a moment later, excited the vehicle and came around to my side of the car.
What was I getting myself into? Coby was rich. I realized that I hardly knew anything about him.
“Come on, little one,” Coby gently pulled me from the car. “Stop thinking so much.” He petted a hand over my head, kissing me softly on the mouth.
I sighed, needing to wrap myself in his warmth but I was still pissed that he wouldn’t tell me anything about himself.
My body ached with each step to the elevator as memories of what had happened that night reigned full force into my mind. I could have been killed. We all could have. Oh, God. My heart started racing. My breathing picked up.
“Hey.” Coby cupped my cheeks. “Look at me.”
“I … I …” I gasped for breath. “I almost died.”
“But you didn’t,” he said, his voice firm. “Now breathe, Brogan.”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I shook my head. I had been through so much in my life but I had never come close to dying. I toyed with death, danced around it like I was invincible. It wasn’t right, but I couldn’t stop myself.
“Brogan.” Coby gave my body a gentle shake. “Look at me.”
My eyes snapped open, landing on his handsome face.
He breathed, slow and deep.
I mirrored his movements, gripping his hands tight in my own.
“That’s my girl.” He kissed my forehead, letting his lips linger. “Let’s get you comfortable.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, holding me beside him when we reached the elevator.
I snuggled into his side, gripping his shirt for dear life. I had always been one to take care of myself but every now and again, even the strongest person needed help. Coby made me feel safe. Like I could do anything in this world. I felt strong when I was with him.
When we entered the elevator, Coby pushed a key into a slot and pressed the button with a P marked beside it.
“Why are you in the military if you own all of this?” I asked, praying that he wouldn’t close up on me again.
“Because I need to be in control. This was all my grandfather’s work. He hired me on at a young age and showed me the basics of how to run a business but it wasn’t enough. I sold a lot of the businesses he left to me but I still manage a couple.”
“You’re a man of many talents, Porter,” I said, trying to lighten the solemn mood.
“Not enough apparently,” he glanced down at me. “Put me in the field and I can hide within a matter of seconds. You won’t see me until I want you to. But when it comes to talking and this,” he waved a hand between us. “I know jack shit.”
“I’m sorry for pressuring you,” I blurted, my cheeks heating.
“No,” he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “I need to be pushed sometimes but I also need you to remember that I push back.”
“I don’t expect any less from you.”
We stared at each other for what felt like hours, gazing into each other’s eyes. My heart thumped, skipping several beats before I looked away.
Coby cleared his throat.
The elevator came to a stop when we reached the top floor.
“After you, little one,” Coby said, his voice rough.
I took a breath, stepping out into a long hall.
He grabbed my hand, holding it tight in his and led us to a double set of doors at the end of the hallway. “My apartment takes up this whole floor. No one else can come up here without my key. You’re safe, Brogan.”
I nodded, my body relaxing at that.
“My home is your home,” he whispered in my ear, unlocking the door to his place.
We had only known each other for a couple months and now I was living with him. No. I was staying with him. Until I found my own place and got my stuff back. If anything was saved that is. Oh, God, what if I had nothing? No clothes or books. What if everything was destroyed in the explosion? My eyes burned, my throat constricting as realization dawned on me.
“Coby.” A sob escaped me.
“Shit.” He pulled me against him. “It’s okay. Let it out.”
I cried into his chest, wrapping myself around him. “I have nothing,” I hiccupped. “Everything is gone.”
“You don’t know that yet. But you have your life,” he tilted my head back, staring intently into my eyes. “You’re alive, Brogan. That’s all that matters. All of you got out safe.”
“I’m going to kill those fuckers who did this.”
“There’s my girl,” Coby smirked. “But not if I get to them first.”
“I think we’ll all have a hand in destroying them,” I muttered, stepping out of his embrace. Kicking off my shoes, I slid my toes into the soft plush grey carpet in his living room.
Gazing around the large room, I wasn’t sure what I was expecting to see in Coby’s home but this was not it. It was clean, bright, and modern. I took Coby for a laid-back kind of guy but it seemed that everything had its spot. Is that how he looked at me as well? I had my spot in his life. Would he get bored of me and toss me away like trash? God, what the hell was I thinking coming here with him?
“Bathroom is down that hallway,” Coby stated, his eyes burning into me.
I hugged myself, nodding. “Come with me?” I didn’t want to be alone. Something had switched between us over the past couple of hours. He had become darker, moodier, and me? I became more attracted to him.
I sighed, rubbing my hands up and down my arms.
“This is my bedroom.” Coby pushed open the door, turning on the light. “Anything you need is in here. You’re tiny but I’m sure you could fit into my boxers.” He winked.
I smiled up at him. “I just want to wash tonight off me.”
“Understood.”
While Coby headed to the en-suite bathroom, I stayed back and scoped out his room. A large king size bed sat against the far wall. Floor to ceiling windows were hidden behind black curtains. Red throw pillows sat atop the mattress. Did he bring other women here? I imagined him on his bed, tangled in the satin sheets until he was spent and exhausted. Maybe he spent the nights here by himself. Did he touch his own body?
A wave of heat washed over me at the dirty thoughts that slid their way into my mind. All I could picture was Coby’s large hand wrapped around the base of his cock.
“What are you thinking about?”
I jumped at the deep voice in my ear, my cheeks heating. “Nothing.”
“You’re looking at my bed. Are you imagining me in it?” Coby wrapped his arm around me, sliding his hand down my back. “You had a rough night, but yet you’re still thinking those dirty as sin thoughts. Aren’t you?”
“You don’t know what I’m thinking,” I muttered, gripping his shirt tight between my fingers.
“I don’t need to know exactly what those thoughts are but I can see the heat in your eyes,” he kissed the corner of my mouth. “As much as I want to spend the night fucking you in my bed, you need your rest.”
Disappointment fluttered in my belly. “Being with you will make me feel better.”
He chuckled. “I won’t leave you and I’ll take care of your beautiful pussy later. Right now? You need a bath.”
***
(Coby)
Denying Brogan access to my cock was the hardest thing I had ever done. She pouted. Begging me with her eyes. But she needed rest. The doctors gave her a free bill of health but it didn’t mean she should spend the night in the throes of passion.
I helped Brogan out of her clothes, leaving her standing naked before me.
Her tanned, toned skin was marred by bruises and cuts. Thankfully, that was the only damage. She would be sore for a couple of days but it wasn’t anything life threatening. I didn’t know what I would do if that were the case.
I caught her staring at my bed, chewing her bottom lip.
?
??Ask me,” I told her an hour later while we were in the bathtub.
“Ask you what?” She played with the bubbles, letting them drip off her fingers.
“I saw you checking out my bed.” I kissed her neck. “Ask me.”
“Has there been anyone else here?”
“You mean, have I brought another woman home and fucked her in my bed.”
“Yes.” Her cheeks reddened, the flush traveling down between her breasts.
“No. You are the first.” I brushed my thumb back and forth over the base of her throat.
“Can I ask why or will you shut me out?”
I wanted to laugh. I wanted to tell her that I wasn’t this dark and brooding man. I wanted to tell her that I didn’t get married at a young age only to have my wife run away with my child. I wanted to tell her all those things but it wouldn’t be true.
“I didn’t want to taint my home by a woman’s wrath,” I muttered, leaning my chin on top of Brogan’s head. “This apartment is mine and mine only. It doesn’t have a woman’s touch. It’s cold and modern, and it’s fucking mine.”
“Um … well, someone’s a little bitter.” Brogan sat forward, turning in my arms. “I had a crush on this guy in high school. My brothers found out and scared the guy off. It happened so many times to me over the years that I just gave up and started having one-night stands instead.”
“No serious relationship for you?”
Brogan scoffed, tapping the side of her head. “I’ve been accused of being crazy my whole life. Who wants a girlfriend who tortures people for a living?”
I did. Clearing my throat, I rubbed the scruff on my jaw. Crazy. It was a horrible word. Brogan wasn’t crazy, not in the sense some would think. Being in the military, you see things. Most come out of it needing professional help. They can’t control the demons.
“I don’t think you’re crazy,” I told her, running my finger down her bare arm. “I think we all have our own shit to deal with. If that makes us crazy, well, then so am I.”
She smiled. “Thank you. Just … thank you.”
***
(Brogan)
Coby didn’t think I was crazy. Well that was good to know. Too bad the rest of the people I knew didn’t think that way. They never said but they didn’t have to. I could see the judgement in their eyes every time I came up from the basement or brought a guy home. Sex was the only way I could silence the noise in my head.
After the bath, Coby gave me a pair of his boxer shorts and a t-shirt. I threw on the shirt but not the shorts as I wanted to feel his hands on me. I figured wearing something only on top might be a big enough hint. He had told me to rest but I couldn’t. I tossed and turned, mulling over the last couple of hours in my head.
Coby had never brought a woman home. Not to this apartment. Everything in me told me that he had been fucked over by a female but I didn’t know how. There had been rumors going around the group but no one said for sure what his issue was.
Sometime during the night, I had woken, restless and unsure. It was almost three in the morning but no sign of Coby anywhere.
I left the bedroom, sore and stiff. My bones felt like they were grinding against each other, fighting for their place inside of my body.
“Coby?” I called out, trudging down the long hallway.
A deep voice sounded from the kitchen so I headed there. The closer I got, the clearer the words became.
“It’s too soon,” Coby said. “I know.”
He must have been talking on the phone. I shouldn’t have eavesdropped but the tremor in his voice concerned me.
“I’m not sure. We leave in about a month but no date has been set. Yeah. She can stay here. I know. I never thought I would live with a woman again.”
Again?
“No. I know she’s nothing like her. No, I don’t miss her. I don’t miss anything about her,” Coby growled. “She was a fucking whore but she was carrying my baby.”
Baby? Holy shit on a stick.
What the hell was going on?
I spun on my heel, heading back to his bedroom. My hands shook. I didn’t know much about Coby but he had a kid? That was a big fucking deal.
A throat cleared from the doorway.
Turning slowly, I found Coby standing a few feet away. A dark shadow slid over his face, forcing my stomach to drop.
“How much did you hear?”
Too much.
“I should leave.” I grabbed my clothes and headed to the bathroom. “I shouldn’t be here.” I was rambling but my thoughts couldn’t focus.
“Brogan.” Coby blocked my path, wrapping his fingers around my arm. “You can’t leave.”
“I … I …” I stammered. God, this man. What was it about him that made me lose all train of thought? “You have a baby.”
Coby’s jaw clenched, his eyes darkening to the point of black. “No. Not anymore I don’t.”
“Not anymore?” My heart jumped. “Oh, God, I’m sorry.”
“It’s nothing for you to be sorry about.” Coby’s voice was hard. “But I am not talking about this. You shouldn’t have been listening.”
“I couldn’t sleep. I was looking for you.”
Coby pushed me back, pulling the clothes from my arms. “Yeah? Why? Did you want something, Brogan? Were you looking for me to fuck you?”
“Yes.” I glared up at him. “I wanted to feel better. I knew you could do that but you’re standing here being a fucking asshole like you always are because I accidentally overheard your conversation. If it was so fucking private, maybe you shouldn’t have been out in the open.”
“Little girl, I will remind you that this is my fucking home. I will talk where I want and when I want.”
“Then don’t get mad at me if I accidentally walk in on your conversation,” I threw back at him. “God, I’m so stupid.” I stormed out of the bedroom. If he wasn’t going to give me my clothes, then I would leave wearing the shirt he leant me.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”
“I’m leaving, Coby. I’m sick of your moody shit.”
“You’re not leaving.” He came up behind me, grabbed my arm, and spun me around. “I won’t let you leave.” Holding me against his hard body, his hands trailed down my back before cupping my ass. “Please.
My heart gave a start at the desperation in his voice. I didn’t know what was going on but his mood changed suddenly, and it made my head spin. “Coby.”
“Please. You can’t leave.” He pushed his face into the crook of my neck, inhaling deep. His body relaxed.
“What is going on with you?” I asked, letting him hold me but not returning the hug either.
“It’s the anniversary of their death,” he mumbled in my ear.
“Their death?”
Coby released me, heading to the couch. “My wife committed suicide. She was pregnant. She took my baby with her. And as much as it pains me to say this, I’ve never forgiven her.”
***
(Coby)
The words left my lips, taking away the control I had fought so hard for these years. I finally told someone about her. The monster who destroyed me and everything we had worked toward.
“Coby,” Brogan knelt in front of me, taking my hands in hers. “Tell me what happened.”
Under normal circumstances, I would have thrown her over my knee for being so demanding. But I knew it needed to be said. I wasn’t sure how much I could get off my chest but maybe a couple words here and there would help.
“When I was a child, I was diagnosed with bipolar,” Brogan confessed. “But that also depends on which doctor you speak to.” She winked, trying to lighten the mood.
Speak, Coby. Tit for tat. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. No one knew except for Dale. That’s what happened when you get drunk and spill your secrets.
“What happened?” Brogan asked, determined to get the answers she was looking for.
I brushed the back of my knuckles down her cheek. “I fell in love.”
/>
His wife committed suicide, taking their baby along with them. My chest ached for Coby. What he had gone through made my problems look teeny tiny.
I now understood why it was hard for him to talk about it. Instead of asking more questions, I sat beside him on the couch, holding him as best I could while we watched TV. Neither of us were really watching it, though. We got lost in our thoughts, traveling to a past that we never had any control of.
Was I mentally ill? I wasn’t sure. I never went back to the doctors to find out.
A phone chimed.
Coby reached for his cell, his gaze moving over the small screen.
“Angel wants to meet up in a couple of days. He’ll let us know the location when the time comes.”
“A couple of days?” I asked, looking over Coby’s shoulder at the text.
“Yeah, something about they want everyone to take some time to deal with this shit,” Coby grumbled.
“Okay.” I took a breath, hoping for the best that my next question wouldn’t cause Coby to lose his temper. “Why did you bring me here?”
Coby stiffened beside me, rubbing the back of his neck. “I like you, Brogan. When I’m not with you, I miss you like I’ve never missed anything before. But I can’t put a label on it yet. I need time.”
I nodded. “I like you too,” I whispered.
“Be patient with me.” He brushed his nose up the side of my neck and pushed me onto my back. His heated gaze roamed down the length of my body. “I can’t begin to tell you what you do to me. I don’t talk. Never have. But with you, it comes easy. Even though I don’t talk about my past, I have no problem talking about my future with you.”
I cupped his cheek, brushing my thumb over his bottom lip but I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say to him. All I knew was that I would be there for him. Even if whatever this was that was happening between us didn’t grow into something more. Right now, it was sex, and I would take advantage of that.
***
(Coby)
“So, you and Brogan, huh?”
My back stiffened at Angel’s question. It had been a couple days since the explosion at the club and all of us were finally meeting up. We had decided on a central location and met up at Jay’s tattoo shop. Business had been slow so she closed it up while we sorted out this shit.