I stood back to let them have their moment: Michael and Simone ribbing each other like brother and sister; Clarissa’s and Leo’s heads nearly touching as they compared chairs. Simone bent to hug Clarissa, both their faces full of delight. Michael wiped one eye and shook Leo’s hand, turning it into an embrace. Martin watched them with contentment, and I turned to see John had a similar expression.
A group of happy children all grown up, he said to me. It’s been a long road but completely worth it. Sometimes I feel very old.
I squeezed his hand. ‘I feel old too.’
‘Don’t we all,’ my mother said from behind me, and I moved back to put my arm around her. She scolded John. ‘Talk out loud.’
‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘I just said I’m so glad to see them grown up and happy.’
‘We all are.’
Greg and Jen arrived with Jen and Leonard’s boys, Andrew and Colin. I went to Jen and hugged her.
‘I’m so sorry, Jen.’
‘I heard what happened to you,’ she said, smiling sadly. ‘We were hoping you’d give Mum and Dad a granddaughter. Maybe next time.’
‘Maybe,’ I said, making light of it. ‘How’s the baby?’
Her face lit up. ‘He’s a bundle of trouble. Terrible twos soon.’ She glanced at Greg, who was standing next to her with his expression full of pride. ‘We’ve yet to see if he can do anything special.’
‘We’re hoping he won’t,’ Greg said. ‘Both of us are glad to be well out of the whole Celestial thing.’
‘If he turns out special we’re always here to help,’ I said.
Her face froze for a moment and I silently cursed myself. Her son had been kidnapped and raped by the demons after he’d come to me asking for training. Greg took her hand in his and she brightened. ‘Thanks, but Greg can handle it.’
I turned to the grief-stricken boys and hesitated. Colin was hovering protectively over Andrew, his younger brother who’d been taken by demons. Andrew had put on a great deal of weight and his face was pock-marked with acne.
‘Hi, guys,’ I said. ‘It’s really good to see you again.’
Colin gingerly hugged me, obviously uncomfortable, and Andrew didn’t move at all. He was frozen like a rabbit in headlights. His expression became even more panicked when John approached.
Greg fell to one knee to salute John.
John raised one hand. ‘Up, Greg.’ He studied Colin and Andrew, who had also raised their hands to salute him. ‘No need for formalities. I’m just Uncle John; you’re family. Treat me like your uncle. Okay?’
Colin nodded, obviously relieved. Andrew didn’t even blink.
John went to Jennifer and took her hand. ‘I know you and Leonard had parted ways, but you had a family together and I’m sorry that’s gone now.’
‘Thank you,’ Jen said, and Greg put his arm around her shoulder.
Clarissa went to Andrew and took his hands — she’d been in the cell next to them when the demons had held them. I couldn’t hear what she said to him, but he nodded a few times, wiping his eyes. Colin hovered behind him protectively. Andrew leaned down to Clarissa and hugged her, and she patted his back.
John gestured towards Dragon Tiger. ‘If you’ll come this way, the hall is ready. Everybody would like to pay their respects.’
He led the family, followed by the staff of the Mountain, up the stairs into the hall. Clarissa hesitated at the bottom of the stairs, and Michael levitated her.
‘You need a ramp here,’ Michael said.
‘We’re in the process of installing them everywhere,’ John said, waiting at the top of the stairs. ‘Next time you come there’ll be one here.’
‘Took your time accommodating Leo,’ Clarissa said, but her smile was wide.
‘Leo can carry himself,’ John said. ‘The ramps will be for an injured student. He’s chosen to stay even though he’s lost the use of his legs. He’ll be studying hand-to-hand and would like to learn financial management from you, if you have the time.’
‘I’d be glad to help,’ Clarissa said.
The hall had been filled with chairs and decorated with flowers and a large portrait of Leonard with candles burning on either side of it. The service was non-denominational according to Leonard’s wishes, and Martin would officiate as a high-ranking Celestial.
Ben’s and Tom’s portraits stood on a side table in the hall, receiving offerings of incense and food for six weeks after their funeral as was the custom. I had a horrible feeling that I would be seeing a great many more of these in the near future. After this afternoon’s service, I would add a portrait for Louise myself.
We had lunch together in the officer’s mess after the service, and I quizzed everybody about what they’d been doing.
‘Greg’s my apprentice,’ my father said with obvious pride. ‘Natural affinity to electricity, and boy, can he lift heavy stuff.’
‘They have their own company,’ Jen said with similar pride. ‘We’ll be putting more people on soon.’
‘You’re not doing too much, are you, Dad?’ I said. ‘I thought you’d retired.’
‘I run most of it,’ Greg said. ‘Brendan is the brains, I’m the brawn.’
‘Oh, I wouldn’t say that,’ my father said, pleased at the compliment.
‘We’re vegetarian now, dear,’ my mother said to Simone as she turned the lazy susan in the middle of the table for them.
Andrew wasn’t eating. I tried to draw him out. ‘Colin and Andrew, how are you two going at school?’
Andrew’s face screwed up and he began to sob silently. Jen jumped up and ran around the table to soothe him, holding his shoulders.
‘Can I go home?’ he said, his voice close to panic. ‘I want to go home. Can we go home now?’ He gulped a huge mouthful of air. ‘I just want to go home. I just want to go home.’ He rocked in his chair, silently repeating the words over and over.
Colin turned away; he was breaking down into tears as well.
‘I’m so sorry. Go if you want to,’ I said.
Jen crouched to speak to Andrew. ‘You can be brave; you’re safe here. Can’t you stay just a little bit longer?’
Andrew threw one arm over her shoulder and let go into her. ‘Please take me home. This is all too much.’
‘Take him home, it’s fine,’ my mother said. ‘You can stay with us if you want, Colin.’
Colin had his hand protectively on Andrew’s back, tears running down his face. ‘I’ll go with him and look after him.’
‘Greg?’ Jen said, turning to him.
Greg nodded to us, went to Jen and the boys, and they all disappeared.
I ran my hand over my forehead. ‘I ruined it.’
‘No, that was coming,’ my father said. ‘It wasn’t anything you did.’
‘He’s been more than a month without a breakdown; it was inevitable,’ my mother said.
‘Even a boy who hadn’t been through what he has would react like that to the loss of his father,’ John said. ‘Don’t blame yourself, Emma. The boys know they have a family that loves them.’
‘He did very well to make it as far as he did,’ my mother said. ‘A year ago we wouldn’t even have been able to get him up here.’
‘Just tell me when you want to go home as well. We’ll arrange transport,’ John said.
‘We’d prefer to stay a while and talk to Emma,’ my mother said, reaching out and holding my hand. ‘I heard what happened. I’m sorry about the baby.’
I tried to say something, but the words wouldn’t come out. ‘Thanks.’
‘You look like hell, Emma, what did they do to you?’ my father said.
‘Demon stuff,’ I said, my voice thick. The boys’ reactions had hit me hard.
‘Would you like us to stay up here on the Mountain with you?’ my mother said.
‘I would absolutely love that, but …’ I shook my head. ‘I think Andrew and Mark need you more than I do, Mum.’
‘We want to pursue Immortality,’ my father said. ‘We?
??ve talked about it, and since we have the opportunity, we thought we might as well see what’s involved.’
‘You are always welcome,’ John said.
‘Maybe we can split our time between there and here? Would we be safe doing that, John?’
‘Perfectly safe. We’re quite capable of arranging something for you; and Greg is a fine warrior who can protect you on the Earthly.’
‘That would be wonderful,’ I said, choking back the emotion. They’d always been too traumatised to even consider visiting us.
‘There you go, that’s much better, isn’t it?’ my mother said, seeing me cheer up at the idea of having them around.
‘I need to find you a nice residence here,’ I said.
‘Good, that will keep your mind occupied,’ she said, patting my hand. ‘Make it big enough for Jen and Mandy to come visit as well. Now let’s eat, and then we can go to poor Louise’s funeral.’
‘You know about that?’ I said.
‘Greg was listening the whole time. He nearly went back up to help out, but he wanted to be sure we were safe. It was awful.’
‘Yes, it was.’
After Louise’s service, John and I dropped into the Tiger’s medical centre and they took some X-rays and an ultrasound. The same doctor saw me in the same office. He held the X-ray up and snapped it onto the light box.
‘Do you know what they did to you?’ he said.
‘All I know is that I lost the baby. They said I wouldn’t be having any more.’
‘Once you’re Raised it won’t be a concern,’ John said, squeezing my hand.
‘I’d love some more samples from you if you ever have the chance, my Lord,’ the doctor said. ‘You’re fascinating.’
John leaned back and glared at him. ‘I don’t think that will be happening.’
‘You have no idea what I went through to get that one,’ I said. ‘And now everybody appears to know about it.’
‘What?’ John said, horrified.
‘It wasn’t me, I swear,’ the doctor said. ‘I think it was someone in the pathology lab, but nobody will admit to talking about it. I suspect it may have been our father.’ He turned back to the X-ray. ‘They did a hysterectomy on you, Miss Donahoe. Everything except a very small part of your remaining ovary is gone.’
‘What?’ I said, as horrified as John had been. ‘But there’s no scarring, no stitches. How did they do it without opening me up?’
‘They performed it vaginally so there’d be no scarring. It’s a very common method.’
‘They spayed me like a cat to make me more docile?’
‘No, if they wanted that they would have taken your ovary completely and removed all your hormones, turning you into a female eunuch.’ The doctor took the X-ray off the light box and put it back into its folder. ‘If the damage was as extensive as it appears from the scans, then it was a valid medical option. It could have saved your life.’ He shook his head. ‘The surgeon was highly skilled; I couldn’t have done a better job myself.’
John took my hand. ‘Once you’re Raised it won’t matter, Emma.’
‘As the Dark Lord said, once you’re Raised the matter is academic. You will choose your form and physiology,’ the doctor said.
I dropped my head and ran my hands through my hair. I’d heard of women not feeling like a woman at all after having this done to them, but all I felt was numb.
John took my hand in both of his. ‘Come on, Emma, let’s go home. You have a family there who love you and who have gone far too long without you around to annoy. Simone hasn’t had a chance to sit you down and talk your ears off about the boys at school, and I’m sure Leo wants to take you shopping because your clothes are more than a week old.’ He patted my back. ‘And I have a big pile of budgeting spreadsheets waiting for your magic touch. We’ve missed you sorely.’
I looked up at him and smiled through the tears. ‘Sometimes you know exactly the right thing to say.’
‘Good.’ He nodded to the doctor. ‘Doctor.’
‘Dark Lord, Miss Donahoe.’
‘This doesn’t change anything,’ John said from behind me as we rode his cloud back to the Mountain.
‘I never for a moment thought that it did,’ I said. ‘I know you better than that.’
‘Good,’ he said, and pulled me closer. ‘But if you ever want to talk about how it feels, I’m here.’
‘I may take you up on that, but right now I don’t know how I feel.’
‘I understand.’
I leaned into him. I knew he did.
38
The next day Yi Hao and I were working together on a filing system for the information I’d compiled on the Western situation when John interrupted me.
Your stone’s back and in here with me.
‘I’ll be right back,’ I said to Yi Hao, and walked as quickly as I could to John’s office, which wasn’t terribly fast. The stone and Zara were in human form, sitting in the visitors’ chairs.
‘There you are, Emma,’ my stone said, rising to give me a huge hug. It released me, then folded up and returned to my ring. ‘I am never leaving here again, understood? I am so sorry I left you alone up there. I blame myself for what happened.’
‘Is there any way you could have avoided it?’ I said. ‘The Grandmother pulled you with her when she left.’
‘That’s beside the point; it will never happen again. I promise I will always be there to look after you.’
‘That’s a powerful vow to take, stone,’ John said.
‘I stand by it,’ the stone said.
‘Very well,’ John said. ‘Thank you for returning, Zara. I appreciate it.’
Zara rose and bowed to John. ‘If I may return to duties, my Lord?’
‘You are more than welcome. I’ve missed your skills,’ John said.
Zara flushed red to her hairline, then turned into her diamond form and floated out of the office.
‘I have a message from the small stone I escorted to the Grandmother,’ my stone said.
‘You arrived safely?’ John said.
‘Yes. The stone would like you to go back and visit Margaret. It says that Margaret was “very sad” when you left.’
John dropped his head and sighed.
‘Margaret who?’ I said.
‘Margaret Anathain,’ John said. ‘She was the head of the serpent people in Wales. Community doctor as well as expert on ancient languages and leader of the town.’ He rubbed his hand over his forehead. ‘Intelligent, courageous, spirited, much like you.’ He looked into my eyes. ‘She helped me search for you. I never encouraged her in any way, but just my presence was enough. She’d never seen anything like me before.’
‘Oh dear,’ I said. ‘I understand exactly what’s going through her head. Poor woman.’
‘She’ll get over it,’ John said.
A squeal drifted back to us from Zara’s desk outside. ‘Who has been doing your filing, my Lord?’
‘Me,’ John called to her.
‘Oh no,’ she said loudly. ‘No, this is wrong, this doesn’t belong here … By the Grandmother, why is this here?’ The diamond floated back into his office and hovered in front of his eyes. ‘Do not even attempt to do your own filing in future. It will take me weeks to sort this mess out.’ She rose slightly in the air and floated out, obviously in a huff.
John and I shared a smile.
‘Maybe you should call her to tell her you found me, and say goodbye?’ I said.
‘It will break her heart,’ the stone said. ‘From what the small stone told me, that’s a small and isolated community and Margaret has never met a man to match her in wit and temperament. She’ll never meet anyone like you ever again.’ Its voice became accusing. ‘According to the small stone, you never even said goodbye. You just flew off, and she was waiting for you to return for a week.’
‘She will get over it,’ John said. ‘She doesn’t have a choice.’
‘You’ve ruined her life,’ the stone said. ‘She’ll com
pare every future man she meets against a god.’
‘The Archivist will be in contact with her soon to discuss her records,’ John said. ‘After she’s met him, she’ll never want to speak to another Immortal ever again.’
‘Oh, well done,’ the stone said with awe.
Zara zoomed in. ‘The Lord Venus is here to see you.’
John waved one hand. ‘Show him in.’
Venus came in, and stopped when he saw me. His face went expressionless. I was becoming accustomed to this reaction to my appearance.
He saluted John and me. ‘Lord Xuan. Lady Emma.’ He placed the box he was carrying on the desk, then grinned lopsidedly at me. ‘Come here, Emma.’
I let him wrap his arms around me and lost myself in his soft purple silk robe and the heady scents of jasmine and gardenia.
‘I am so glad you made it out of there,’ he said into my ear, then sighed with feeling. ‘And I’m sorry for your loss.’
‘Thanks, Venus,’ I said, pulling back. I put one hand out towards the other visitor’s chair. ‘Please, my Lord, sit.’
He flicked his robe and sat, and I sat as well.
‘Emma gives the best hugs ever,’ Venus said. ‘And I’ve missed her unique sense of humour.’
‘Your wives will be jealous if they hear that,’ John said.
Venus waved one hand at him. ‘Both my wives give excellent hugs, but Emma’s are terribly exotic.’
‘If you’re trying to make him jealous, it’s not working,’ I said, gesturing towards John’s placid expression.
‘Always worth a try,’ Venus said. He sat straighter. ‘Open the box.’
The box was slightly smaller than the usual Edict, and John studied Venus as he thumbed the clasp to make it spring open. His eyes widened slightly as he saw what was inside, then he glanced from me back to Venus. Venus leaned back in his chair, smug and relaxed.
John lifted a slender jug from the gold silk that lined the box. Its base was carved black glass, and the handle and top were made of filigreed silver.