“Lie still, Vi.”
I obeyed. Anyone would obey his voice. “We’ve got to get your sticker off, and then we’ll talk.” Zenn laid me on a couch and set a pillow under my head.
“Sure, okay.” My words slurred together.
“Go back to sleep.” His words flowed into feathery ribbons, urging me to drift into blissful slumber.
I wanted to. But cool hands moved down both my arms.
Then pain.
More hurt than anyone should ever have to endure. My right hand felt like it had been sliced off with a roto-blade.
Voices murmured around me. An intense orange light pulsed through the darkness. Two pressure points throbbed as someone pressed on my shoulders.
Someone close by was screaming. I wanted to make them stop. Help them. Anything so they would shut up.
Finally, the blinding pain in my hand receded. The screaming stopped.
“She has control issues,” Ty whispered.
“Who doesn’t when they first learn what they can do? She has more talent than anyone I’ve met. She’ll be fine.” Zenn’s voice filled a void in my heart reserved just for him. “Her feelings for Jag are powerful.”
“Jag has let his feelings cloud his judgment. He knows what I’ve seen. He won’t—”
“Don’t worry about Jag,” Zenn interrupted. “He’ll do what he thinks is right. He always does.”
“That’s exactly what I’m worried about.”
A long silence followed. I almost wished for the physical pain. Anything to drown out this emotional burden swirling around me.
“I’m not sure we should remove the sticker,” Ty whispered. “If she’s stuck, she can’t find Jag. He’ll think he’s finally pushed her too far. Then he’ll do what he needs to do. And she’ll be safe.”
“That’s up to Vi,” Zenn replied. “We can’t help her without her control. Let’s try again.”
I wasn’t ready for the consuming pain this time either. The screaming started again as fire moved from my wrist down my hand, which was somehow still attached to my body. Bolts of hot pain tingled in the tips of my fingers. The light surrounding me turned redder. The glare became brighter.
And then a white light shone in the distance. On instinct, I reached toward it, called it closer so I could share in its glory. As it neared, I saw Zenn standing within the light. I wasn’t sure if I should cry tears of joy or punch him in his traitorous mouth.
“Settle, Vi,” he said. “You’ve got to help me.” He took my hand and the pain faded. His eyes were the brightest blue I’d ever seen. No clouds. Only my sweet, wonderful Zenn, in complete control of himself.
“Zenn,” I breathed out. “How come you never told me? I would’ve helped you in the Resistance.” Tears slid down my cheeks. Lonely, heartbroken tears.
Zenn traced one finger down my face. “You mean that here.” He touched my lips lightly. “But not here.” He placed his hand over his heart.
“I would’ve helped you,” I insisted.
“I know. That’s why I didn’t tell you.” He smiled, a gesture full of love and longing and sadness.
“Zenn, about Jag—”
He shook his head. “Don’t.” He cupped my cheek in his palm. His touch felt so light. “You don’t have to explain.”
He whipped his head around at a loud sound. “My time is gone.” He faded from my sight, but his voice lingered in soul. “Good-bye, my lovely Violet. Ty?”
“Go,” she said from somewhere beside me. “And Zenn . . . thanks.”
“Tell her I miss her. And I love her.”
“I’ll tell her.”
“No!” I reached for him, but Zenn was already gone.
40.
I told the girl inside to stop sobbing, stop screaming, stop feeling sorry for herself.
A whisper of water touched my hand and all agony eased. The soothing darkness enveloped me.
Just breathe, I told myself. A cool draft washed over my skin. Voices floated around me. Familiar yet foreign at the same time.
“She needs to be trained,” Ty said. “She knows nothing.”
“Jag’s been with her for almost a month,” Jake said over the tech-comm. “He’s been putting her through some tests. And he left her a note for the simulator.”
“But she’s had zero training. Jag said she didn’t even know who she was—”
“She knows now. Jag told me how much she’s already done. We don’t have time for formal lessons. I trust Jag. You should too.”
The darkness lightened and Jag floated in my mind. I reached for him, my Choker, the part of me I needed to feel complete.
Sitting up abruptly, I clawed the black cloth off my face. Ty knelt in front of me, an anxious crease in her forehead. No one else was in the room. I wondered if I’d just dreamt about Zenn or if he had really been there.
I flung my arms around Ty, the stupid tears falling again.
Her shoulders shook as she cried. “You’re unstuck.”
I examined my left hand. It looked like I’d submerged it in hot water for a long time. A small band of white scar tissue circled my pinky where the ring used to be. A permanent reminder of Zenn.
“Vi . . . how do you know about the Resistance?”
I looked up into my sister’s eyes. “I’ve heard Jag talk about it . . . in his dreams.”
“In his dreams?” Ty raised her eyebrows. “That’s some wicked powerful mind control.”
I shifted uncomfortably. “It’s not like I enjoy taking a trip inside his nightmares.” I exhaled as I ran my hands over my face. “What do you know about it?”
Ty smiled, the kind smile of an older sister. “I have an incredible talent—I can see things others can’t. That’s why I was taken away. When I wouldn’t use my power the way he wanted, Dad let me rot in prison for a few months. I was allowed to go home—to check on you. See if you had any gifts. Remember that?”
I nodded, watching tears trickle over her cheeks.
“I was sentenced to Freedom. But Zenn came and helped me escape from prison. He had the proper ID card to cross the border. My new name. He gave me food and water for my solitary walk to the Badlands. He provided the code words so I could find and recognize Jag.”
She paused, focusing on something only she could see. “Zenn saved me.”
I knew how she felt. He’d saved me countless times. “But I thought he was working for Dad. Isn’t he?”
Ty pulled herself out of her memory and looked at me. “It seems that way, Vi. Early last year, Zenn stopped all communication with the Resistance. I was already living here in Seaside, but Jag asked me to contact him. That’s when we learned he’d switched sides.” She exhaled loudly. “He said he did it for you, but you had no gifts and it didn’t make sense. I’ve never seen Jag so mad. He was practically spitting fire.”
She smiled, but it didn’t extend past her mouth. “So, well, I don’t know where Zenn is right now. Jag thinks he’s solidly with Thane.”
A long silence followed while I contemplated all I’d seen and heard in Jag’s nightmares. Everything between Zenn and Jag. How Zenn had controlled Blaze. The way Jag blamed Zenn for his brother’s death.
“So, what do you know about Blaze?” My voice sounded too hollow.
A steely glint entered Ty’s gaze. “You know about Blaze?”
“I—”
“Does Jag know you’ve invaded his memories?”
“No. And you can’t tell him.”
A mixture of frustration and sympathy moved across Ty’s face. “All right. I won’t tell him. I told him to tell you everything.”
“Everything? There’s more?”
“Blaze died maybe a year and a half ago. During a job for the Resistance, with Zenn. I—I saw it happen.” She ducked her head, her words fading into whispers. “Jag thought he was responsible. For assigning Blaze the mission to Freedom. I mean, he was already the Assistant Counselor here. But learning it was Zenn’s fault? That broke Jag into so many pieces. He a
nd Zenn were best friends.”
I struggled through what Zenn had said in the forest. What I’d seen in Jag’s nightmare.
“Ty . . . was Zenn really responsible?”
She cleared her throat. “I don’t know the answer to that, Vi. No one does. Not Jag. Not even Zenn, I expect.”
“I’ve seen it,” I whispered. “I’ve seen what you’ve seen. Inside Jag’s mind.” I gripped her with a desperate look.
“Then you have what you need to decide for yourself.” She stood and left me on the couch in her office.
Thoughts of Zenn clouded my head. Had he helped Blaze or not? Had he really helped me? Not only on the beach, but in the Goodgrounds? Had he really abandoned Jag’s Resistance to save me? Or was he my dad’s personal assistant?
Zenn is very loyal. Dad’s harsh voice sliced into my thoughts. You can still have the future you’ve always wanted with him.
But—
Who do you think matched the two of you? Dad continued. Zenn really loves you. Would do anything for you.
I knew he would. Which meant Zenn had defected and joined my father. And for what?
For me.
But he knew I would suffocate under the blanket of a controlled life. He couldn’t live that way either. Could he?
I trailed my fingers around the scar. Dad . . . how can I get my sticker off?
Only the person who put your sticker on can get it off. I invented that tricky bit of security tech myself.
So Zenn would have to remove mine.
Yes. And I would have to remove his.
Thoughts battled in my mind. The ring was gone. So Zenn had helped me. He was—
We all have methods of persuasion for our cause, Dad taunted. Zenn . . . Jag . . .
I squeezed my eyes shut. Just stop. Please.
It’s all about what you choose to believe, V. So . . . who are you choosing to believe?
Good question, Dad.
41.
I returned to my room to retrieve my backpack. As soon as I opened the door, someone said, “Hello, Vi.”
My emotions spiraled up and then down, as first I thought it must be Jag hiding out in my room. Then I saw the auburn-haired ranger, and my heart settled in my hollow stomach.
I folded my arms and cocked my head. “What are you doing here, Jake?”
His grin widened. “Oh, man. Jag was right.”
My frustration resurfaced, and I couldn’t contain it. “Shut up. I don’t want to hear another word about that Baddie. What do you want?”
“Relax,” he said. “I’m on your side here. It’s a good thing too. You look like you could easily kill me right now.” He wasn’t far off, but my murderous thoughts centered on a spiky-haired guy who was gone.
“Look, Jake. Just tell me whatever you’re going to tell me.” I waited. Quite patiently, I thought.
“Okay, I’m an island ranger—”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” I snapped.
He laughed again at my attitude, just like Jag would’ve done. I blinked back the annoying tears and looked away so Jake wouldn’t see.
“My job is to equip the Counselor with the best tech. I know you’ve got some killer stuff in your bag. I’m here to bargain.”
“What do you have that I could possibly want?”
With a knowing smile, he pulled an envelope from his back pocket. Even from across the room, Jag’s handwriting made my heart pound. I took several steps forward, never removing my eyes from the two letters of my name. Jake could have anything he wanted. Kidney, liver, whatever.
“Jag really didn’t want to leave you this way,” Jake said softly. “You’ve got great control over him. I’ve never heard anyone talk about someone the way he talks about you. Not even Gavin with Pace. Choker-speak.” His eyes met mine and he waited, as if I might deny it.
Man, I really wanted to. Let that get back to Jag. But I couldn’t.
“Ah, I see. You feel the same for him.” He smiled and extended the envelope toward me. “Jag wanted to say goodbye in person, but things . . . got complicated. He also said he’s really, really sorry for leaving, and he hopes to see you soon.”
We struck a deal. I kept the weapon phone and one food-generating cube; everything else went to Jake.
“Okay,” I said once I had the envelope in my hand. “I know you know pretty much everything. So tell me what you know about mind rangers.”
Jake glanced at his new tech haul as if he’d rather spend time with gadgets than with me. “They serve the Association as Directors. Gavin was the first ranger I met who doesn’t. Then Jag started coming to visit.”
“How long has Jag been coming here?”
Jake sighed and sat down on my bed. “Maybe three years? Something like that. He came with Pace shortly after he was made a tech ranger in the Badlands. Then every couple of months after that for lessons.” Jake rubbed his hands through his hair. “He spends most of his time with Gavin.”
“What do they do?” I asked.
“Gavin used to stay up nights training Jag to use his mind, at least until they figured out that his weapon was his voice. Then they started studying how to develop it. I like the guy, but I hate talking to him.”
Jag and Ty spent a lot of time together, I thought, not sure how I felt about it.
“But he’s done with training now.” Jake stared out the window. “He finished last Christmas. He came for two weeks, and Gavin didn’t come out of his room once. Then she sent him back to the Goodgrounds to get something she’d had a vision about. Neither one of them knew what he was supposed to find, but he’s been in enemy territory without specific directions before. And Gavin’s never been wrong.” His eyes finally locked on mine. “He left at the beginning of April, and we haven’t heard from him since.”
I looked away. Outside, the wind lashed against the window. Thunder crashed, mimicking the unrest I felt inside.
April. Six weeks in prison.
I swallowed and found my throat too dry. “What did he find?” I asked, but I already knew the answer.
A fierceness entered Jake’s face. “He found you.”
42.
I sank onto the couch, clutching Jag’s letter and trying to organize my thoughts. I knew one thing: I didn’t want to open the envelope, didn’t want to experience him leaving me all over again. I took a long, deep breath and blew it out.
“Well, I’ll be downstairs.” Jake stood in the doorway, holding his bag of tech. “Come see me after you’ve read that note.”
I nodded, but as soon as he’d gone, I shoved the paper in my back pocket. I stumbled into the bathroom, staring at my drawn face in the mirror.
Ty had said, You have what you need to decide.
I could still hear Jake saying, He found you.
And Jag said he’d never leave you, Dad mocked, his voice inserted into my thoughts.
Shut up! I screamed. I looked at myself with my newly colored skin and yellow short-sleeved shirt. Even the blue jeans I wore weren’t mine. I hardly recognized the girl staring back at me.
I wasn’t good.
But I wasn’t bad either.
Those labels meant nothing.
I am Violet Schoenfeld. Armed with this knowledge, I grabbed my backpack and left my room. I found Jake sitting at the kitchen table. “Hey, where did Jag go?”
Jake glanced up. “I don’t know.”
“Big fat liar,” I accused, glaring at him. “I know you talked to him before he left. Where did he go?”
Jake squeezed his eyes shut. “You’re gonna be so mad. You know that, right?”
“Tell me,” I said.
“He went through the tunnels.” The answer came too quick. Because I’d controlled him.
I toned my emotions down. “Tunnels?”
“And he made me program the simulator with the most advanced profile we’ve got.” He clenched his hands into fists.
“So . . . I don’t get it.”
Jake stood up, wiping one hand across
his eyes. “Just come with me. You’ll see.” He started toward the stairs. But he didn’t go up. Instead, he stopped in front of a blank wall.
“Okay, so you’re gonna want to kill me. Before we go down, promise me you won’t try to kill me.”
I scoffed. “Come on. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“You might. I’ve heard stories about you. Promise me.”
“Stories about me? What kind of stories? Jake—”
“Just promise.”
“Fine. I promise I won’t hurt you.”
“No, promise me you won’t even try to hurt me.”
I wanted to hurt him already. “I promise I won’t even try to hurt you.”
Satisfied, he turned back to the wall. I thought it would be the perfect time to elbow him in the gut, but I’d already made the stupid promise.
Jake tapped his fingers on the bare wall as if on a keypad. I frowned—until the wall vanished.
A staircase spiraled down into darkness.
Jake stepped into the shadows without speaking, like it was no biggie that he was moving into the great black abyss.
It was a big deal to me. “Um, Jake?” The murkiness had already swallowed him.
“Come on.” His voice echoed off the stone stairway.
“I can’t see.”
“Feel,” he called. And with that comment, Jake shot to the top of my To-Die List, with Jag in slot number two.
But I tentatively reached toward the railing. The metal felt icy, slippery. I edged my feet along the two steps I could see and then threw caution to the wind.
I descended farther and farther into darkness. I couldn’t hear Jake in front of me. The steps simply went on and on, around and around. My breathing grew more rapid as the air turned colder.
Tech buzzed in my brain. I forced my foot down one more step. Then another. And another.
Now the tech burned. I leaned against the wall, relishing the bite of cool metal from the railing.
Step after agonizing step, I continued down the stairs. Until I couldn’t anymore.
The darkness swirled. Tears stung my eyes. The air felt like cement.