“I love her, too.”
“I know you do. So why are you avoiding her?”
With a sniff, Lexi pulled her legs up and hugged them to her chest. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
“Sophie, you were right to be afraid I’d be the one to marry into your family. I’m really messed up on the inside.”
“I was never—” Lexi shot her a doubtful look and Sophie stopped before saying something they both knew wasn’t true. Sophie took a deep breath before starting over. “You and I are more alike than you know.”
“I sincerely doubt it, and I mean that as a compliment.”
“See, no one has to beat you up, Lexi; you’re willing to do the job yourself. I spent more years than I care to admit doing the same. It affected my family and my marriage. I thought I didn’t deserve to be happy. Once a year I withdrew from everyone I loved because I couldn’t forgive myself. I wasn’t just hurting myself, though. I was hurting my whole family. That’s where you are now. What are you holding in, Lexi? What are you beating yourself up for?”
A lone tear slid down Lexi’s cheek. “Willa and Kenzi have never been happier than they are now. I’m happy for them, but it’s hard, too.”
“Oh, honey, of course it is. A lot has changed this past year. You’re feeling left behind, aren’t you?”
Lexi nodded and wiped her check with the back of her hand. “Something like that.”
“Well, you’ve had a good wallow over it, but now you’re going to go take a shower, get dressed, and come shopping with me.”
“That’s a nice offer, Sophie, but—”
“It wasn’t an offer. Get up,” Sophie said in a firm tone as she rose to her feet.
Lexi slowly stood. “I love you for coming, but I’m not in the mood to go shopping.”
Taking Lexi by the arm, Sophie led her across the room. “Lexi Chambers, you are a beautiful and intelligent young woman, but you’ve got a lot to learn about family if you think I’m leaving here without you. Get your butt in that shower, cover up the shadows under your eyes with concealer, and let’s go buy you a new dress. It’ll make you feel better.”
Fresh tears sprang to Lexi’s eyes. “You don’t have to do this, Sophie. I know I drive you crazy most of the time.”
Sophie cupped one side of Lexi’s face. “Sweetie, I raised five boys—on your worst day you don’t come close to what they put me through. I’ll always be grateful that Kenzi had you and Willa with her in Canada. You were her rocks when we didn’t even know she needed one. You don’t have to marry one of my sons to be my family, in my heart you’re already one of us and you always will be.”
Lexi laughed as she wiped another tear away. “I couldn’t believe it when you told Clay your sons would line up to kick his ass if he hurt me. I meant to thank you for that.”
“You did, honey. Now, stop stalling and get cleaned up.”
Nodding, Lexi turned to do just that then looked back. “Thank you, Sophie.”
“Go on. Have you eaten? We’ll stop somewhere, get something to eat, and you can tell me all about what’s going on between you and Clay.”
Lexi nodded and trotted off to the shower. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined that she would turn to Sophie for advice on anything, but suddenly she wanted to.
Before hopping into the shower she sent a text to Willa and then Kenzi. She told both of them she’d call them later but she was too busy to talk because she was heading out for an evening with Sophie. They both wrote back about how great that was and said they definitely wanted to hear all about it later.
A short time later Lexi applied the last touches of makeup and looked at herself in the mirror. She’d never had a mother figure in her life, but she did now. The miracle of it was that Sophie was taking on that role after seeing the worst of Lexi. She’d stuck out the tough times and somehow still loved her. The piece of Lexi’s heart that had shattered long ago found its way back together. The fix was fragile, but it felt good.
And for the first time in a very long time Lexi liked the woman she saw in the mirror. She certainly wasn’t perfect, but maybe, just maybe, there was hope for her yet.
Chapter Four
Three weeks had never felt so much like forever. Clay sipped on spiked eggnog while watching Asher laugh at a face his young son made. There was a time when Clay would have thought Asher looked ridiculous interacting with a baby who probably couldn’t tell him apart from any of the other men in the room, but this time the scene moved Clay. He thought about how Dax had said what came next was a million times better than the life he’d left behind.
The whole idea of marriage was crazy. Two people decide to choose each other over not only everyone they’ve ever met, but also anyone who might come into their lives later. He watched Dale reach over and take Sophie’s hand as they listened to their children swapping stories from childhood. After many years of marriage, could they actually be that happy with each other? His attention moved to where Dax was standing beside Kenzi, smiling down at her. Would his friend one day stand in a room of his own children, still madly in love with his wife?
Clay placed the cup of eggnog down, unfinished. Christmas Eve had always been a night where he and his friends jetted off to some exotic location and partied hard enough that Christmas Day had always been a foggy recovery.
When Dax had invited him and told him to bring presents, Clay had been too curious to turn the invitation down. So this is what Dax considers living. He might as well have stepped into a holiday postcard. The Barrington home was ornately trimmed, from the bushes outside the home to every shelf and corner inside. Presents overflowed from beneath a ten-foot lit tree, the ones he’d brought were set with the others, but were in a distinct pile of their own.
“If you keep frowning you won’t get more than coal in your stocking.”
A warmth shot through Clay at the sound of Lexi’s voice. He turned, a huge grin spreading across his face. “And you think you’ll get better?”
Laughter lit her eyes. “If Santa knows what’s good for him I will.”
Clay laughed and allowed himself the indulgence of taking in the full beauty of her. The red dress she wore was a wrapping that did little to hide the gift of what lay beneath. He counted to ten and told himself to behave. “Beautiful dress.”
She spun before him then leaned against his arm as she asked, “You like it? Sophie bought it for me.”
“Really?” It was impossible to remember what they were talking about. Her mouth was close enough to claim, the warmth of her breast against his arm sent his blood rushing southward.
She leaned in even closer and lowered her voice. “We almost chose something conservative, but then I reminded her you’d probably be here. So, Merry Christmas.”
“You—it’s—” Damn. He gave in to the lusty smile he’d been fighting to hold back. “Thank you.”
Her laughter was light and heaven to his ears. She laid a hand on his forearm and said, “Hey, I’m sorry I never answered your text. I was going through something.”
“Something? Or someone?” He hated that he’d asked that aloud. He’d never been the jealous type. Ever. But the thought of her with another man was slowly driving him mad. “Are you still with him?”
“Him?”
“Mr. Thanksgiving night.”
She searched his face for a long moment. “More like Mr. Thanksgiving drinks after dinner, and I haven’t seen him since. I shouldn’t have gone out with him that night, but I was in a funk.”
Good. “I hear Mr. Christmas is more attractive and Mr. New Year’s is amazing in bed.”
She shook her head, but she was laughing. “All I know is Mr. Christmas Eve is full of himself.”
He raised and dropped a shoulder. “Is it bragging if it’s true?”
She laughed again and linked her arm with his. “Don’t ever change, Clay. You’re a hoot.”
A hoot? He wanted to be much more than that to her. “We all change
, Lexi, especially when we discover that having what we want necessitates it.”
Her eyes flew to his and her mouth rounded in preparation of saying something, but Willa interrupted. “Lexi, when did you sneak in?”
Lexi stepped away to hug her sister and Clay lamented the absence of her touch. “I just arrived.”
“You must have popped in while I was in the bathroom.” She looked Lexi over and her eyes popped. “That’s the dress Sophie bought you?”
Clay briefly took in Willa’s conservative, short-sleeved dress and marveled at how two women could have so much in common and still be so different. “It’s lovely, isn’t it?” Clay prompted Willa.
She hesitated as if she’d been about to voice a different opinion. Then she smiled. “It’s definitely Lexi.”
The two sisters exchanged a look of understanding that ended with Lexi smiling. “Yes, it is. Your dress really brings out your eyes, Willa.”
“Thanks.” Willa turned her attention to Clay. “Dax said you brought presents for everyone. That’s so nice of you. Lance and I didn’t know you were coming so you don’t have anything from us, but will you be here tomorrow?”
“Please don’t feel that you have to get me anything. I’m not here for the presents.” He glanced briefly at Lexi and loved the blush that brought color to her cheeks.
Willa looked back and forth between them then said, “I should get back to Lance.” She wagged a finger at both of them. “Be good.”
Clay waited until she was out of earshot before he leaned down and whispered in Lexi’s ear, “I’d rather be phenomenal.”
Lexi laughed and his reward was that she linked her arm with his again. “You realize that if we ever do get together you’ll have quite a lot of hype to live up to.”
“If? If?” He put a hand over his heart as if she’d wounded him. “We have a date for New Year’s Eve.”
Lexi’s response was a flutter of her eyelashes and a quick look away. She honestly didn’t know how to take Clay sometimes. Although she’d heard that he might make an appearance at the Barrington’s that night, she hadn’t expected him to stay. She also hadn’t expected him to act like he’d come to see her.
Clay had been a topic of many conversations over the last few weeks. Willa thought the idea of Clay marrying her sister was romantic beyond description, until Lexi reminded her that most men—especially men like Clay—weren’t looking for marriage. She encouraged Lexi to be brave enough to believe in possibilities. Kenzi had said that although Dax claimed that he wouldn’t get involved, he had smiled when Kenzi had suggested that Clay was sweet on Lexi. She thought Lexi should play it cool because Clay was used to women fawning all over him. In the end, it was Sophie’s advice that Lexi took to heart. After listening to Lexi describe her interactions with Clay as strings of light flirtation sprinkled with moments when he sounded like a concerned friend, Sophie had said, “You need to decide what you want, Lexi. If you’re looking for a few dates, it doesn’t matter how you act. In the end, you’re both adults. However, if you think there’s a chance you might marry Clay—be yourself. If he’s the right one for you, he’ll cherish you the way you are.”
Lexi had joked, “Shouldn’t we go on at least one date before I think about naming our children?”
“You’re not getting any younger, sweetie,” Sophie had said, then laughed with such mischief that Lexi had joined in. Then Sophie had held up the red dress Lexi was presently wearing and said, “Try this on. If it doesn’t stop him in his tracks and get him to ask you out again then he’s not man enough for you.”
So far Sophie’s choice of dress had definitely turned Clay’s head. He was full-on flirting with her, but that wasn’t anything new, and it left Lexi wondering if she hadn’t read more into Thanksgiving than had been there. “Did you really buy me a present?” she asked.
“Yes, Dax told me to buy for everyone.”
Not exactly a grand, romantic gesture. “I bet I can guess it.”
One side of his mouth curled up at the challenge. “You think you know me that well?”
“We’ll see, won’t we?”
He inclined his head and waited.
“Is it a large box or a small one?”
“A small one.”
“Square or rectangular?”
“Rectangular.”
“It’s a bracelet.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why do you say that?”
She referenced the room full of people. “You wouldn’t embarrass me, so I’m guessing the gift is a tasteful gift. You’re a bit flashy so it would be something expensive. Considering that you don’t know me that well, jewelry would be a safe choice.” He looked unhappy with her guess so she gave his hand a pat. “Don’t worry, I’ll pretend to be surprised when I open it.”
“I appreciate that.”
His arm was tense beneath her touch, and she started to regret saying anything about the gift. She could hear Willa’s voice in her head reminding her that the best response to any gift is a simple, “Thank you.” Why do I always open my mouth and make problems where there were none?
Dale clapped his hands to gain everyone’s attention. “Adhering to Barrington tradition, you are all allowed to open one gift tonight. Choose carefully. The rest will be given out tomorrow morning after breakfast.”
As the youngest, Kenzi chose her gift first, the one from her husband. It was a monogrammed bed for her dog, Taffy. “I love it, Dax. It’s perfect.” She kissed him then put it down and snuggled to his side.
One by one the others went until only Lexi and Clay remained. “Ladies first,” he said.
Lexi walked over to the tree and wavered between opening his present in front of everyone or not. I wish I’d told him that I would love anything from him. That’s how I feel. She closed her eyes briefly, considered all the ways it could go well or badly, then opened her eyes and sifted through the gifts until she found the one for her from him. It was rectangular, but smaller than she’d expected. Definitely not a bracelet. “Thank you, Clay. I’m sure I’ll love whatever it is.” She opened it and discovered one simple, black flash drive.
“It’s probably filled with a thousand photos of him,” Grant said dryly.
“Behave,” Sophie chastised softly.
Lexi returned the cover to the small box and smiled. “Better than a copy of his porn collection.”
Willa covered her face with her hand, Sophie shook her head, but she was smiling. Dale wasn’t smiling, but he looked like he was on the verge of it.
“That would require several flash drives,” Clay added without missing a beat. Asher barked out a laugh and the others followed suit.
“You’re next, Clay,” Dale said.
Clay hesitated. “Is there one there for me?”
Lexi rushed forward. She wasn’t sure about anyone else, but she’d brought one. Now that she’d seen his gift to her, she didn’t feel guilty that she hadn’t had a lot of money to spend on his. He accepted the box from her, bounced it in his hand for a moment, then a huge smile spread across his face. “I have no idea what this is.”
“Then open it,” Lexi said gently. It hadn’t been easy to choose a gift for a man who could afford anything he wanted.
He took a moment and looked around the room before gazing back down at the package. “My family never celebrated Christmas. At least, never like this. Thank you.”
There was an emotional silence where the women dabbed at their eyes and Dale nodded in approval at Dax. Ian broke the mood by saying, “Open it already.”
Everyone laughed.
Clay tore the paper off the box and revealed a toaster box. Lexi waved at him. “That’s just the box I used. Keep going.”
He pulled off the tape that held that box closed and took out two smaller, wrapped ones. He tore those open looking as if he were really enjoying the process. A moment later he held up the small digital camera and frame she’d bought him.
Lexi said, “I figured you probably have everything, but
you don’t have a photo of this Christmas. Now you do.”
He replaced the camera and frame back in the box and closed the distance between them. Without warning he bent and brushed his lips briefly over hers and growled, “I love it.”
Lexi dropped her present to the floor.
Dale clapped his hands loudly. “So, we’ll see you all tomorrow morning. Be here by nine.”
Chapter Five
Clay paced the Boston Harbor Hotel’s presidential suite he called home while in Boston. He hadn’t expected Lexi to fall into bed with him right after the party, but he also hadn’t expected her to skirt away while he was saying goodbye to Sophie and Dale. He was tempted to text her. No, he was dying to text her, but he wouldn’t. Not this time.
This time he’d wait for her to contact him. And she would—as soon as she saw what was on the flash drive he’d given her.
He glanced at his watch impatiently. She had to be back at her place by now. Unless she was out with someone. That thought twisted his gut painfully.
I should call her just to make sure she made it home.
He took out his phone but stopped before choosing her number.
No. She has my number. If she wants to talk to me, she’ll text me.
His phone rang and he almost dropped it in his haste to answer it. “Hello,” he said trying to sound nonchalant but coming across as irritated instead.
“Clay? It’s me, Lexi.”
I know. “Hi.”
“Is it too late to call? I’m sorry. I’m just looking at your present, and I didn’t want to ask about it in front of everyone tomorrow.”
He told himself to play it cool. “Good choice.” That’s it? The best I can do? It’s safe to say I’ll never bowl her over with my wit.
“First, I want to say I’m sorry for being a complete jackass at the party. Sometimes I don’t think. When I open my mouth I have no idea what wild shit will come out of it.”
Since he wasn’t sure what part of their exchange she was referring to, he replied with a vague, “You have nothing to apologize for. I hope kissing you didn’t embarrass you.”