Julia froze. It was the first time a man had touched her since Roger. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. Alek didn’t seem to notice. Sliding his arms around her, he brought her against him. His breath stirred shivers along her spine and a curious warmth crept into her blood.
Alek turned her around to face him. She wasn’t given the opportunity to object as he pressed his mouth to hers. His lips moved slowly over hers. She wedged her hands between them, braced her palms against his hard chest and pushed herself free. Her lungs felt as though they were about to burst, and she drew in a deep breath.
Alek didn’t seem offended or surprised by her actions. His eyes danced with mischief as they sought hers. Julia raised the back of her hand to her mouth and held it there. She burned with anger. He’d done this intentionally so she’d know he expected to touch her and kiss her often after the ceremony. She was to be his wife in every sense of the word and he wouldn’t tolerate a loveless, sexless marriage. He wanted her and he was making sure she knew it.
What was she going to do?
* * *
Julia stood outside the bridal shop with all the thrill and anticipation of a long-overdue visit to the dentist.
She opened the door and walked inside, grateful the saleswoman wasn’t busy.
“Hello.”
“Hello,” Julia said stiffly, fanning out the billowing chiffon skirt of a pale yellow bridesmaid’s dress that hung from a rack.
“May I help you?” came the friendly voice.
Julia revealed her lack of enthusiasm with a noncommittal shrug. “I need a wedding dress for this Friday afternoon.”
The shopkeeper was petite, hardly more than five feet tall with soft brown hair. The woman was a dreamer; Julia could see it in her eyes. She, too, had once worn that same look of innocence.…
“The wedding is this Friday?”
“I know that doesn’t give me much time,” Julia said, feeling foolish. “It’s one of those spur-of-the-moment things.”
“Don’t worry,” the saleswoman assured her, hurrying toward a long rack of plastic-covered wedding dresses. “Spur-of-the-moment weddings are often the most romantic.”
Julia had nothing to add. She could tell that this woman was more than a dreamer; she was also hopelessly sentimental. She had her head in the clouds when it came to love, and no doubt her attitude had been influenced by her job. She dealt with women who were deeply in love, women for whom the entire world was there for the taking.
Three years earlier, Julia had been one of them. Young, enthusiastic and so much in love she didn’t recognize what should’ve been obvious.
“I’d like a very plain dress,” she said forcefully, breaking off her thoughts.
“Plain,” the woman repeated slowly.
“The plainer the better,” Julia reiterated, strolling about the store.
“I’m afraid I have a limited selection of plain dresses.”
That was what Julia feared. “Something simple, then.”
“Simple and elegant?” she asked, grinning approvingly. “Would you like to look through this rack? Choose the designs that appeal to you, I’ll get them in your size, and then you can try them on.”
As far as Julia was concerned, this business with the wedding dress was a waste of time. She wanted it to be over and done with so she could head for the hospital and visit Ruth.
The saleswoman led her to the appropriate display of gowns. Julia shuffled through them quickly, making two selections. Neither dress really appealed to her.
“I’ll try on these two,” Julia said.
The woman made no comment as she went into the back room and returned a few minutes later with the two dresses in the correct size. She took them into the dressing room and placed them on the hook.
Julia obediently followed her inside. She undressed and slipped into the first dress. It was just as the saleswoman had promised. Simple and elegant. A straight skirt made of silk, a beaded yoke and cuffs. It looked fine, Julia supposed.
“No,” the shop-owner said with certainty. “This one doesn’t suit you.”
“It looks…”
“No,” the woman repeated. “Don’t even bother to try on the next dress. It wouldn’t suit you, either.”
“Please, I don’t have a lot of time.”
“The dress is one of the most important aspects of your wedding. Every bride deserves to feel beautiful on her special day.”
Julia didn’t know why she felt like crying, but she did. Buckets of tears welled up inside her. She was grateful the woman didn’t seem to notice. Brides deserved a whole lot more than feeling beautiful; they deserved to marry a man they loved. A man who loved them, too.
“Wait here,” she instructed. She left the changing area and came back a moment later carrying a lovely ornate dress. The silk gown with pearls and sequins was anything but simple. Rarely had Julia seen a dress as intricate as this.
“Try it on,” she said when Julia hesitated.
“I…I don’t think I should.”
“Nonsense. This dress was designed for someone with your body type. It’s perfect. It arrived this afternoon, almost as though I’d sent away for it with you in mind.”
“I don’t know,” Julia murmured. The woman held up the gown for her inspection. It was lovely, ten times more elaborate than the one she’d tried on earlier. Ten times more beautiful, too. It was the kind of dress a woman in love would choose, knowing her groom would treasure its beauty. Would treasure her beauty. A groom who’d cherish her devotion all his life. It was the style of dress she would’ve worn for Roger before she learned of his betrayal. Before she’d learned what a fool she’d been.
She wanted to argue, but one look convinced her that the woman would hear none of it. Not exactly sure why she’d allowed this stranger to dictate her actions, Julia put on the dress. The silk and taffeta rustled as it slid effortlessly over her hips. She kept her eyes lowered as she turned around and the shopkeeper fastened the small pearl closures down her back.
Julia felt strangely reluctant to look into a mirror, almost fearing her own reflection. When she did raise her eyes to the glass, she was startled at the beautiful young woman who gazed back at her. It took her a wild second to realize it was herself.
Gone were the lines that told of the bitterness and disappointment she’d carried with her since her father’s death. The cool, disinterested look in her eyes had warmed. The calculating side of her personality faded, replaced by the woman she’d been before she’d fallen in love with Roger Stanhope. Open, trusting, naive—too young for her years.
Unable to look at herself any longer, Julia dragged her eyes away from the graceful reflection of the woman she’d once been. The woman Roger’s deception had destroyed.
“It’s perfect,” the saleswoman was saying with a sigh of appreciation. “Just perfect. It’s as if the dress was meant for you.”
Julia opened her mouth to contradict the woman, but before she could voice her objection she looked at the mirror one last time. A few days earlier she’d caught a stormy glimpse of herself reflected in her office window. She’d disliked what she’d seen, the woman she’d become, cold, uncaring and driven.
She’d quickly abandoned her self-analysis and had concentrated on what was happening with Alek and Jerry at the Immigration office instead. The events of that afternoon had resulted in this farce of a wedding.
Alek had been adamant that there be no divorce. Julia had agreed to those terms, but not in the spirit he’d intended. If it weren’t for these particular circumstances, Julia doubted she would ever have married. This would be her only wedding, her one chance to wear such a beautiful gown.
“I’ll take it,” she said, calling herself a fool even as she spoke.
“Somehow I knew you would.” The saleswoman grinned broadly.
It took an additional twenty minutes, while the dress was wrapped up and the bill paid, before Julia was able to leave the shop. Nervously she glanced at her watch as s
he headed toward her parked car. She was already late and knew Ruth would be worried.
As often as she’d visited hospitals, Julia could never accustom herself to the antiseptic smell. She rushed down the polished hallway to the wing that housed her grandmother. She hated the thought of Ruth being here, away from her comfortable home and the pictures she loved and kept close to her side.
Ruth had tried repeatedly to prepare Julia for her death, but Julia refused to listen, refused to accept life without her adored grandmother.
Checking in at the nurses’ station, Julia was left to wait until Velma Williams, the head nurse, returned. A striking arrangement of red, blue, yellow and white flowers overfilled an inverted straw hat on a corner of the long counter. Julia admired it as she stood there. A few minutes later, Velma was back and Julia was ushered to Ruth’s side.
“Good afternoon,” Julia whispered. She couldn’t tell if Ruth was sleeping or simply resting her eyes. Her grandmother seemed to be doing more of both lately. There were various tubes and pieces of equipment attached to Ruth’s body, monitoring her heart and administering drugs intravenously. Julia looked down on this woman she loved so much and had to force back her growing sense of alarm. It seemed to ring in her ears, announcing that the time was fast approaching when Ruth would no longer be with her.
The older woman’s eyes gradually drifted open. “Julia, my dear, I’m so glad you’re here. Come, sit with me.”
Julia pulled up a chair and sat next to the high hospital bed. “How are you feeling?”
Ruth gestured weakly with her hand. “That’s not important now. Tell me about you and Alek. How I’ve prayed for this day. How I’ve hoped you’d learn to love again.”
“The wedding’s on Friday afternoon.” Julia half suspected her grandmother would find the timing suspicious, but instead Ruth smiled tenderly and a faraway look came into her tired eyes.
“Friday… It’s a good thing you won’t have a long engagement, because I doubt I’ll last more than a week or two.”
“Grandma, please don’t say that. You’re going to be around for years and years.”
The weary smile didn’t waver. “I won’t see my great-grandchildren.”
Julia wanted to argue with her, but she couldn’t; there’d never be children for her and Alek because there would never be a real marriage. She suffered a slight twinge of guilt but pushed it aside as a luxury she couldn’t afford.
“I’m sorry I’m late but I was trying on wedding dresses,” Julia explained, injecting some enthusiasm into her voice. She was mildly surprised at how little effort it required to sound excited about the dress she’d bought at the bridal shop. She described it in detail and was pleased at the way her grandmother’s eyes brightened.
“You and Alek will come see me after the ceremony, won’t you?”
“Of course,” Julia promised.
Ruth motioned toward the nurses’ station. “He sent me flowers. He’s a very thoughtful boy. Velma carried in the bouquet for me to see. Did you notice them?” “Who sent you flowers?”
“Your Alek. An enchanting arrangement, and such a sweet thing to do. I like him, Julia. You’ve chosen well, my dear.”
Julia was uncomfortable talking about Alek. He’d been foremost in her thoughts all day and she wanted to escape him, escape the memory of his gentle kiss.
“Tell me about your romance. You’ve been so close-mouthed about it all…yet I knew.” Ruth’s eyes closed slowly and she sighed. With what seemed to be a good deal of effort she opened her eyes again. “He’s a special man, that one. Just hearing about you two gladdens my heart.”
“Ah…” Julia hesitated, not sure what to say. “It all happened rather quickly…almost overnight.”
“So I gathered.” A spark appeared in Ruth’s eyes. “Oh, how I adore a love story. Tell me more before I fall back asleep.”
“Alek’s green card was about to expire.” Keeping everything as close to the truth as possible made this much easier.
“His green card,” Ruth repeated. “Of course, I’d forgotten.”
“He was going to have to return to Russia.”
“And you realized you couldn’t let that happen, didn’t you?”
“I hadn’t realized how important he was to me,” Julia said, adding drama to her voice. “Jerry did everything he could to persuade the Immigration people to let Alek stay, but nothing he said convinced them. The three of us were talking and suddenly I understood how vital it was to me that Alek remain in the United States. I…don’t think I could bear to go on without him.” This was a stretch, but Julia knew what a romantic her grandmother was. If she was exaggerating the truth just a little, it was a small price to pay to satisfy Ruth.
“Julia, my sweet child.” Her grandmother’s delicate hand reached for Julia’s and she squeezed her fingers. “I always trusted that in time you’d open your heart to love again. It took a special man like Alek. Be happy, my child. Promise me you won’t let go until you’ve found your joy.”
Julia wasn’t sure she understood Ruth’s words. They made little sense to her. She would have questioned her if Ruth hadn’t chosen that moment to slip into a peaceful slumber. For several minutes Julia remained at her grandmother’s side, taking in the solace she felt whenever she spent time with Ruth.
“Julia.” The sound of her name, said with that soft European accent, caught her attention. She jerked around to find Alek standing in the doorway.
She got up abruptly, resenting his intrusion into these quiet moments. She walked toward the door, not wanting him to interrupt her grandmother’s rest.
“What are you doing here?” she asked when they were well into the corridor.
The edge of his mouth lifted in a half smile. “I came to see you. There is much we need to discuss.” He tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow and sauntered over to the elevator.
“I left the wedding arrangements in Jerry’s hands. He’ll look after everything. As far as I can see, there’s nothing to discuss.”
She saw the anger in him, in the prideful squaring of his shoulders and the way his mouth thinned.
“You want me, Julia, and you need me. I just wonder how long it will take before you realize this.”
The arrogance of the man was beyond description. She glared at him. She needed no one, especially a man, and never a husband. She wanted to shout out the words, but a hospital corridor was the last place to do that.
Long seconds passed as they stared into each other’s eyes.
“You need me,” he said again.
“You’re wrong,” she returned defiantly. Conrad Industries needed him; she didn’t.
Their eyes lingered and it seemed neither of them knew what to say or do next. Jerry had mentioned how proud Alek was, and she could see that colossal ego for herself. He released her arm and turned away.
He was several yards down the hospital corridor before Julia spoke. “I don’t need you, Alek,” she called after him. She had to say something. They’d quickly make each other miserable if this friction between them continued. If he wouldn’t make an effort, then it was up to her.
“So you’ve already said.”
“But I am willing to admit we need each other.”
Grinning, he turned back. His smile grew as he returned to her side. For a heartbeat, he said nothing. Then he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. His touch was as gentle as before. Light as air, it left her wondering if she’d imagined his kiss.
“Why did you do that?” she asked.
His smile was worth waiting for. “Because, my soon-to-be-wife, you deserved it.” He brushed the hair away from her face. “For that matter,” he said with a roguish grin, “so did I.”
Three
The wedding ceremony was a nightmare for Julia. When it came time to repeat her vows, her throat closed up and she could barely speak. Not so with Alek. His voice rang out loud and clear, without the least hesitation.
Love and cherish.
Julia’s conscience was screaming. She had no intention of loving Alek. She didn’t want to love any man, because love had the power to hurt her, the power to break her. Julia had worked hard to blot it from her life. Love was superfluous, unnecessary, painful when abused, and her heart had yet to recover from her first experience with it.
Signing the final documents was even worse than enduring the ceremony. Her hand trembled as she wrote her name on the marriage certificate. Her eyes glazed with tears as she stared at the official document, all too aware of the lie she was living.
Jerry, her assistant and the minister all seemed unaware of her distress. She didn’t know what Alek was thinking. His fingers pressed against the small of her back as though to encourage her. She continued to hold the pen and remained bent over the document long after she’d finished signing her name.
“May your marriage be a long and fruitful one,” the minister was saying to Alek. Julia squeezed her eyes shut, drew in a steadying breath and straightened. She dared not look at Alek for fear he could read her thoughts.
Long and fruitful, Julia’s mind echoed. A sob welled up inside her and she was afraid she’d burst into tears. This deception was so much more difficult than she’d ever imagined.
“Shall we join the others?” Jerry, who had served as Alek’s best man, suggested, gesturing toward the door. Julia was grateful for an excuse to leave the room.
The reception was being held in a large hotel suite across the hall from where the wedding had taken place. Their guests were helping themselves to a wide array of hors d’oeuvres served on silver platters, and crystal flutes of champagne.
Julia was surprised by how many people had come on such short notice. Most were business associates, but several family friends were also in attendance. She had few friends left, allowing the majority of her relationships to lapse after her father’s death.
Alek was at her side, smiling and cordially greeting their guests. He placed his arm casually around her shoulders. Julia stiffened at the unwelcome familiarity, but if he noted her uneasiness, he paid no heed.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look?” he whispered close to her ear.