“Let him go,” Chase whispered close to her ear.
A thousand times Lesley had tried to do exactly that. More often than she cared to count, more often than she wanted to remember. It wasn’t only her day-to-day life that was interwoven with Tony’s, but her future, as well. Everything had been centered on their lives together. She couldn’t walk into her home and not be confronted by memories of their five-year courtship.
The bookcases in her living room had been purchased with Tony. They’d picked out the sofa and love seat together, and a hundred other things, as well. Even her wardrobe had been bought with him in mind. The dress she was wearing this evening had been purchased to wear to a special dinner she and Tony had shared.
“I want to go back in now,” she said stiffly, and wondered if Chase could hear her or if he’d chosen to ignore her request. “It’s getting chilly.”
He released her with obvious reluctance, and in other circumstances his hesitation would have thrilled her. But not now, not when it felt as if her heart were melting inside her and she was fighting back a fresh stab of pain.
“I’m sorry,” she said when they returned to their seats.
“Don’t be,” Chase said gently. “I shouldn’t have pressured you.”
Lesley struggled for the words to explain, but she could find none. Some days her grief was like a room filled with musty shadows and darker corners. Other days it was like a long, winding path full of ruts. The worst part of traveling this road was that she’d been so alone, so lost and afraid.
The ferry docked at Winslow and they walked off and waited in the terminal before boarding again. Neither seemed in the mood to talk, but it was a peaceful kind of silence. Lesley felt no compulsion to fill it with mindless conversation and apparently neither did Chase.
* * *
By the time they arrived back at the Seattle waterfront, the sun had set. Chase held her hand as they took the walkway down to street level, his mind in turmoil. He should never have asked Lesley to let go of the man she loved. It had been a mistake to pressure her, one he had no intention of repeating.
“Where are we going?” she asked as he led her down the pier. The crowds remained thick, the traffic along the sidewalk heavy even at this time of night. The scents of fried fish and the sea mingled.
“Down there,” he said, pointing to a length of deserted pier.
It was a testament to her trust that she didn’t seem at all nervous. “There’s nothing down there.”
“I know. I’m going to kiss you, Lesley, and I prefer to do it without half of Seattle watching me.”
“Aren’t you taking a lot for granted?” she asked, more amused than offended.
“Perhaps.” But that didn’t stop him.
Not giving her the opportunity to argue, he brought her with him and paused only when he was assured of their privacy. Without another word, he turned her toward him. He took her hands and guided her arms upward and around his neck. He felt a moment of hesitation, but it was quickly gone.
He circled her waist with his arms and pulled her to him. At the feel of her body next to his, Chase sighed, marveling when Lesley did, too. Hers was a little sigh. One that said she wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing.
He smelled her faint flowery scent. It was a sensual moment, their bodies pressed against each other. It was a spiritual moment, as well, as though they were two lost souls reaching toward each other.
For long minutes, they simply held each other. Chase had never been with a woman like this. It wasn’t desire that prompted him to take her into his arms, but something far stronger. Something he couldn’t put words to or identify on a conscious level.
He longed to protect Lesley, shield her from more pain, and at the same time he was looking to her to end his loneliness.
Chase waged a debate on what to do next—kiss her as he’d claimed he would or hold her against him, comfort her and then release her.
He couldn’t not kiss her. Not when she felt so good in his arms.
Slowly he lowered his head, giving her ample opportunity to turn away from him. His heart felt as if it would burst wide open when she closed her eyes and brought her mouth to his.
Chase wanted this kiss, wanted it more intensely than he could remember wanting anything. That scared him and he brushed his lips briefly over hers. It was a light kiss, the kind of kiss a woman gives a man when she’s teasing him. The kind a man gives a woman when he’s trying to avoid kissing her.
Or when he’s afraid he wants her too much.
He should’ve known it wouldn’t be enough to satisfy either of them. Lesley blinked uncertainly and he tried again, this time nibbling at her slightly parted lips.
This wasn’t enough, either. If anything, it created a need for more. Much more.
The third time he kissed her, he opened his mouth and as the kiss deepened, Chase realized he’d made another mistake. The hollow feeling in his stomach returned—the feeling that fate was about to knock him for a loop.
Sensation after sensation rippled through him and his sigh was replaced with a groan. Not a groan of need or desire, but of awakening. He felt both excited and terrified. Strangely certain and yet confused.
Lesley groaned, too, and tightened her hold on him. She’d felt it, too. She must have.
His hands bracketed her face as he lifted his head. This wasn’t what he expected or wanted. He’d feared this would happen, that he’d be hungry for her, so hungry it demanded every ounce of strength he possessed not to kiss her again.
They drew apart as if they were both aware they’d reached the limit, that continuing meant they’d go further than either of them was prepared to deal with just then. Their bottom lips clung and they pressed their foreheads together.
“I…” He couldn’t think of any words that adequately conveyed his feelings.
Lesley closed her eyes and he eased his lips closer to hers.
“I want to see you again,” Chase said once he’d found his voice, once he knew he could speak without making a fool of himself.
“Yes” came her breathless reply.
“A movie?” That was the first thing that came to his mind, although it was singularly unimaginative.
“When?”
“Tomorrow.” Waiting longer than a few hours would have been a test of his patience.
“Okay. What time?”
He didn’t know. It seemed a bit presumptuous to suggest a matinee, but waiting any longer than noon to see her again seemed impossible.
“I’ll give you my phone number,” she said. “And my cell.”
“I’ll call you in the morning and we can talk then.”
“Yes,” she agreed.
“I’ll walk you to your car.”
He didn’t dare take hold of her hand or touch her. He’d never felt this way with a woman, as if he’d lose control simply brushing her lips with his. All she needed to do was to sigh that soft womanly sigh that said she wanted him and it would’ve been all over, right then and there.
They didn’t need to walk far. Lesley had parked in a slot beneath the viaduct across the street from the aquarium. He lingered outside her door.
“Thank you,” she whispered, not looking at him.
“Dinner was my pleasure.”
“I didn’t mean for dinner.” She looked at him then and raised her hand, holding it against his face. Softly, unexpectedly, she pressed her mouth to his.
“I…don’t know if I would’ve made it through this day without you.”
He wanted to argue with that. She was strong, far stronger than she gave herself credit for.
“I’m glad I could help,” he said finally, when he could think of no way to describe the strength he saw in her without making it sound trite. He wished he could reassure her that the man she loved had been a fool to let her go, but she didn’t want to hear that, either. Those were the words he knew others had said to her, the counsel she’d been given by family and friends.
“I’ll wait to hear
from you,” she said, unlocking her car door.
He’d be waiting, too, until a respectable amount of time had elapsed so he could phone her.
“Thank you again,” she said, silently communicating far more than thanks. She closed the door and started the engine. Chase stepped aside as she pulled out of the parking space and stood there until her car had disappeared into the night. Then he walked to his own.
Three
The phone in his room rang at eight the next morning. Chase had been up for hours, had eaten breakfast and leisurely read the paper. After years of rising early, he’d never learned to sleep past six.
The phone rang a second time. It couldn’t possibly be Lesley—he hadn’t mentioned the name of his hotel—yet he couldn’t help hoping.
“Hello,” he answered crisply.
“Mr. Goodman, this is the answering service.” The woman sounded impatient and more than a little frazzled.
“Someone responded to the ad,” Chase guessed. He’d nearly forgotten about the billboard.
“Someone!” the woman burst out. “We’ve had nearly five hundred calls in the last twenty-four hours, including inquiries from two television stations, the Seattle Times and four radio stations. Our staff isn’t equipped to deal with this kind of response.”
“Five hundred calls.” Chase was shocked. He’d never dreamed his advertisement would receive such an overwhelming response.
“Our operators have been bombarded with inquiries, Mr. Goodman.”
“How can I possibly answer so many calls?” The mere thought of being expected to contact that many women on his own was overwhelming.
“I suggest you hire someone to weed through the replies. I’m sorry, but I don’t think any of us dreamed there’d be such an unmanageable number.”
“You!” Chase was astonished himself. “I’ll make arrangements this morning.”
“We’d appreciate it if you’d come and collect the messages as soon as possible.”
“I’ll be there directly,” Chase promised.
Five hundred responses, he mused after he’d replaced the receiver. It seemed incredible. Absurd. Unbelievable. He’d never guessed there were that many women who’d even consider such a thing. And according to the answering service, the calls hadn’t stopped, either. There were more coming in every minute.
He reached for his car keys and was ready to leave when a knock sounded at the door. When he opened it, he discovered a newswoman and a man with a camera on the other side.
“You’re Chase Goodman?” the woman asked. She was slight and pretty and he recognized her from the newscast the night before. She was a TV reporter, and although he couldn’t remember her name, her face was familiar.
“I’m Chase Goodman,” he answered, eyeing the man with the camera. “What can I do for you?”
“The same Chase Goodman who rented the billboard off Denny Way?”
“Yes.”
She smiled then. “I’m Becky Bright from KYGNTV and this is Steve Dalton, my cameraman. Would you mind if I asked you a few questions? I promise we won’t take much of your time.”
Chase couldn’t see any harm in that, but he didn’t like the idea of someone sticking a camera in his face. He hesitated, then decided, “I suppose that would be all right.”
“Great.” The reporter walked into his hotel room, pulled out a chair and instructed Chase to sit down. He did, but he didn’t take his eye off the cameraman. A series of bright lights nearly blinded him.
“Sorry,” Becky said apologetically. “I should’ve warned you about the glare. Now, tell me, Mr. Goodman, what prompted you to advertise for a wife?”
Chase held up his hand to shield his eyes. “Ah…I’m from Alaska.”
“Alaska,” she repeated, reaching for his arm and moving it away from his face.
“I’m only going to be in town a few weeks, so I wanted to make the most of my time,” he elaborated, squinting. “I’m looking for a wife, and it seemed like a good idea to be as direct and straightforward as I could. I didn’t want any misunderstanding about my intentions.”
“Have you had any responses?”
Chase shook his head, still incredulous. “I just got off the phone with the answering service and they’ve been flooded with calls. They said there’ve been over five hundred.”
“That surprises you?”
“Sure does. I figured I’d be lucky to find a handful of women willing to move to Alaska. I live outside Prudhoe Bay.”
“The women who’ve applied know this?”
“Yes. I left the pertinent details with the answering service as a sort of screening technique. Only those who were willing to accept my conditions were to leave their names and phone numbers.”
“And five hundred have done that?”
“Apparently so. I was on my way to the agency just now.”
“How do you intend to interview five hundred or more women?”
Chase rubbed the side of his jaw. This situation was quickly getting out of hand. “I’m hoping to hire an assistant as soon as I can. This whole thing has gone much further than I expected.”
“If you were to speak to the women who’ve answered your ad, what would you say?”
Chase didn’t think well on his feet, especially when he was cornered by a fast-talking reporter and a cameraman who seemed intent on blinding him. “I guess I’d ask them to be patient. I promise to respond to every call, but it might take me a few days.”
“Will you be holding interviews yourself?”
Chase hadn’t thought this far ahead. His original idea had been to meet every applicant for dinner, so they could get to know each other in a nonthreatening, casual atmosphere, and then proceed, depending on how they felt about him and how he felt about them. All of that had changed now. “I suppose I’ll be meeting them personally,” he muttered reluctantly. “A lot of them, anyway.”
Becky stood and the lights dimmed. “It’s been a pleasure talking to you, Mr. Goodman. We’ll be running this on the noon news and later on the five o’clock edition, if you’re interested in seeing yourself on television.”
“So soon?”
“We might even do a follow-up report after you’ve selected your bride, but I’ll have to wait until I talk that over with my producer. We’d appreciate an exclusive. Can we count on you for that?”
“Ah…sure.”
“Great.” She beamed him a game-show-host smile.
“Before you go,” Chase said, gathering his wits, “how’d you know where to find me?” He’d purposely made arrangements with the answering service to avoid this very thing.
“Easy,” Becky said, sticking her pad and pen inside her purse. “I contacted the billboard company. They told me where to reach you.”
Chase opened the door for the two, feeling very much like an idiot. He should never have agreed to the interview. They’d caught him off guard, before he realized what he was doing. If anything, this meeting was likely to generate additional calls and he already had more than he knew how to deal with.
Chase slumped onto the bed. He’d tried to be honest and fair. He wanted a wife. For thirty-three years he’d been content to live and work alone, waiting until he could offer a woman a decent life. He was finished with that.
The shortage of women in Alaska was well-known, especially in the far north. When Lesley had told him the details about those Seattle brides back in the 1860s, he felt a certain kinship with Asa Mercer and the desperate, lonely men who’d put up the money for such a venture.
Lesley had told him Mercer hadn’t had much difficulty convincing women to move west. That had surprised him, but not as much as the response his own ad had generated.
Lesley.
He’d meant to tell her about the billboard that first afternoon. But then she’d mentioned it herself and implied that anyone who’d advertise for a wife was crazy and pathetic. He’d been afraid she’d never agree to their dinner if she’d known he was that man.
He reac
hed for the phone, intending to call her right then to explain. He fumbled for her phone number inside his wallet and unfolded it, placing it on the nightstand. After punching the first four numbers in quick succession, he changed his mind and hung up. This sort of thing was best said face-to-face. He only hoped she’d be more inclined to think well of him now that she knew him better.
He’d wait until a decent hour and contact her, he decided. His one hope was that she wouldn’t watch the noon news.
* * *
Lesley woke happy. At least she thought this feeling was happiness. All she knew was that she’d slept through the entire night and when morning came, the dark cloud of despair that had hung over her the past few months had lifted. Her heart felt lighter, her head clearer, her spirit whole.
She wasn’t falling in love with Chase. Not by a long shot. But he’d helped her look past the pain she’d been walking under; he’d eased her toward the sun’s warmth. With Chase she’d laughed again and for that alone she’d always be grateful.
She showered and twisted her hair into a French braid, then brewed a pot of coffee. While reading the paper, she decided to bake chocolate-chip cookies. Eric and Kevin, Daisy’s two boys, would be thrilled.
Chase might enjoy them, too.
She smiled as she held the coffee cup in front of her lips, her elbows braced on the kitchen table. No point in kidding herself. She was baking those cookies for him. Later she’d suggest an outing to Paradise on Mount Rainier.
True, Eric and Kevin would appreciate their share, but it was Chase she was hoping to impress. Chase she was looking forward to hearing from again. Chase who dominated her thoughts all morning.
The cookies were cooling on the counter when Daisy let herself in.
“Say, what’s going on here?” she asked, helping herself to a cookie.
“I don’t know. I felt the urge to bake this morning.”
Daisy pulled out a chair. “It’s the nesting instinct. Mark my words, sweetie, those ol’ hormones are kicking in.”
Lesley paused, her hand holding a spatula that held a cookie. “I beg your pardon?”
“You’re how old now? Twenty-five, twenty-six?”