She shook her head. “I’m fine, really.”
“Like hell you are.” He caught her chin, tilted her head so that he could see. “He split your cheek.”
She drew back. “We should check him … maybe do first aid.”
“He’s dead.” Jack gathered her in his arms. “Would you please just let me hold you? God, woman! For a moment there, I thought I’d lost you.”
Her arms went around him. “I thought you’d lost me, too.”
And for a time they held each other, barely aware of the men who gathered at the stable door.
# # #
The next several hours passed in a blur of questions—questions from detectives, questions from paramedics, questions from hospital staff. Images from the night ran through her mind. Jack pointing his Colt at Luke, cold fury on his face. Luke’s surprise when she’d shot him. His corpse lying in a pool of blood on the straw-covered concrete.
It was sometime after midnight when she finally found herself alone with Jack in one of the ER bays. “Have you ever killed anyone?”
He nodded. “Yes, though I couldn’t say for sure how many. It was a long time ago, and I didn’t keep count.”
Vietnam. Of course. How could she have been so stupid?
“I’m sorry. That was a thoughtless question.”
He gave her hand a squeeze. “How about you?”
She shook her head. “Not till tonight.”
She had taken a life. She didn’t regret it. If Luke had gotten his hands on that pistol, he’d have killed her and Jack without a second thought.
“I’m so sorry.” Jack watched her through troubled eyes. “I’m so sorry this happened. I should have brought you back to Denver the moment the highway reopened.”
Janet ought to have realized he’d torture himself. “Stop! How could you have known this was going to happen? Besides, I helped, didn’t I?”
“Yes, you certainly did. You figured it out before any of them.”
“Taylor knew.” Janet was sure of it. “He was just trying to put all the pieces together before making an accusation that might end his career.”
“You’ll learn to live with having killed,” Jack said.
It bothered her that she felt so troubled by it. “I don’t regret it.”
“Of course you don’t, but it gnaws at you just the same.”
“Yes.” That’s exactly how it was.
Jack raised her hand to his lips, kissed it. “When that shot went off and Luke sat up, there was a split second when I thought he’d gotten the gun and you were … ” He closed his eyes, his anguish putting a lump in her throat. “I don’t know what I would have done if he’d killed you, Janet. You mean more to me than—”
The doctor walked in, interrupting them. “It looks like your MRI results are normal. Let’s get that laceration cleaned up, and we’ll send you home. I’d like you to stay with someone tonight. They’ll need to keep an eye on you and make sure you’re not showing signs of head trauma.”
“I’ll be with her,” Jack said.
His words, full of confidence and affection, helped melt away some of the darkness that had wrapped itself around her heart. Yes, she had taken a life, but because of that, she and Jack were still here, free to live theirs.
By the time her discharge papers were ready and Jack had paid her insurance co-pay—he’d insisted—it was early in the morning, and all she wanted was to sleep.
“Take me home, Jack.”
He nodded. “Do you want to stop by the ranch to get your things, or do you want to head straight to Denver?”
As tired as she was, she smiled. “Take me home—to the ranch.”
He grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”
She fell asleep in the truck, and he had to wake her. He helped her inside, brought her water and a pain pill. She accepted it gratefully, undressing while he lit a fire in the fireplace. Then she sank into bed.
He tucked the duvet under her chin. “Sleep, angel.”
“You’re coming to bed, too, aren’t you?”
“In a minute. I just want to make sure everything is locked up tight.”
She was asleep before he returned. When nightmares woke her, as she’d feared they might, he was right there to hold her and to banish those dreams to the darkness.
# # #
Jack had known Nate would be pissed off. He’d just gotten off the phone with Kip, who’d been released from jail this morning, all charges dropped, when Nate cornered him in his office and shut the door.
“What the hell were you thinking? Luke gets shot, and I don’t hear a damned thing about it? You should have called me. I’d have left Megan and Emily in Denver and come up here to help out. Javier would have come with me. Luke wouldn’t have tried this shit with the two of us around.”
Nate had read the email Jack had sent him last night and had headed up the canyon with Megan and Emily at the crack of dawn.
“Things seemed under control, and I felt you had enough to worry about with a child and a pregnant wife in law school.”
“Dad, we’re talking about bullets here! The two of you could have been shot or killed. When the heat is on, my place is here at the ranch by your side.”
“You’re right, son. I should have called you. I apologize.”
“How could this have happened? I thought Luke came with a glowing recommendation from one of Chuck’s buddies.”
“Taylor checked into that. It seems Chuck’s friend gave him a recommendation in hopes of getting rid of Luke. Some of the men felt uncomfortable around him, and one of their mares had some unexplained injuries.”
“So they dumped their personnel problem on us.”
“Seems like.” It had infuriated Jack when he’d heard this news.
“Why did Luke blame Kip, and how in the hell did he ID Kip in a lineup when he’d never seen the man?”
“Turns out he did see him for just a few minutes when he went into town with Chuck for supplies. Chuck stopped at Kip’s place to pick up his key to the bunkhouse. Luke didn’t meet him, but we figure he caught a glimpse of Kip when he opened his door.”
“Ah, well, that explains that. But let’s talk about why you didn’t call me.”
“Haven’t we already gone over that?”
“You wanted time alone with Janet.” It was a statement, not a question.
Jack saw no point in denying his feelings. “I love her. One day, I hope to convince her that the Cimarron is her home.”
Nate’s eyebrows rose. “You want to marry her?”
“Now that you mention it, yes, I do.”
“What does she think of this?”
“Well, I don’t know. I haven’t asked her yet.”
“Isn’t this kind of sudden?”
“When you get to be my age, son, you don’t have a lot of time for bullshit. I can’t explain it. She and I just clicked. How long were you and Megan together before you knew you were in love with her?”
Nate opened his mouth, shut it, looked at the floor.
“Exactly.”
Some of the anger left Nate’s face. “You really care about her.”
“Yeah, I do. I never thought I’d feel this way about a woman again. I didn’t go looking for this, but it happened. I know it must be hard for you to think about another woman being in the house.”
Nate shook his head. “You’re wrong about that. Mom would want you to be happy. That’s what I want, too.”
“No one will ever replace your mother, but my heart seems to be big enough to love two women in this lifetime. I consider that a blessing.”
Nate smiled. “So do I.”
“I hope you’ll make her feel welcome. She’s a special woman. She’s had a terrible hard time of it since getting shot. Being here with me, riding horses again, working in the stables—it’s been good for her. It’s helped her recapture a part of her life she thought she’d lost. If anyone ought to understand that, son, it’s you.”
Nate nodded. “When do I get
to meet her?”
# # #
Janet recognized Nate the moment she walked into the kitchen. “I’m so happy finally to meet you. You look so much like your father.”
Nate smiled. “We almost met last time you were here. I was just driving up when the old man tossed you off the property.”
“Why do you have to remind her of that?” Jack, who was busy stirring pancake batter, glowered at his son.
Nate introduced her to Megan, who was tall and willowy, with brilliant green eyes and long auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail. She sat at the table looking miserable, a cup of tea and a few crackers sitting on a plate in front of her.
“Morning sickness?” Janet asked.
Thank God she’d never have to deal with that at least.
Megan nodded. “They say it’s a sign of a healthy pregnancy, but it sure doesn’t feel that way.”
Nate reached out, touched Megan’s shoulder, offering her silent support.
Then a little girl with blond hair and bright blue eyes bounded into the kitchen. She eyed Janet. “Are you Grandpa Jack’s girlfriend?”
Unsure how Jack would want her to answer, Janet changed the subject. “You must be Emily. Your grandpa has told me so much about you.”
Emily gave her a shy smile. “You’re pretty.”
“Thank you.” Janet didn’t know why the child’s words touched her, but they did.
“I’m going to be a big sister,” Emily said. “My daddy breeded my mommy, like Chinook with the mares.”
Megan coughed, choking on her tea.
Jack looked over at Nate. “What the hell did you tell this child?”
Nate shrugged. “It’s not what we said. It’s what she put together. She does live on a stud farm, you know.”
Janet fought not to laugh. “Congratulations! You must be so excited.”
But Emily’s fleet little mind had moved on. “Grandpa Jack is making chocolate chip flapjacks. He only makes those for Sunday breakfast, but we weren’t here last Sunday, so I said he should make them two days in a row. Right, Grandpa Jack?”
“Right, Miss Emily.” Jack stirred a cup of chips into the batter. “Now, skedaddle and wash your hands.”
Emily darted from the room.
Janet touched her hand to Jack’s arm. “She really does have you wrapped around her finger, doesn’t she?”
Megan shook her head.
Nate rolled his eyes. “You have no idea.”
But Jack only smiled, his gaze warm. “She’s not the only one.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
On Monday, Janet went to work at her new job. It seemed the sensible thing to do. She couldn’t just turn her back on a 20-year career and leave the Agency to be with a man she’d known for only a week. Everything with Jack was so new.
It took her less than a month to realize that being sensible was stupid.
The job was every bit as boring as she’d feared it would be—meetings, meetings, and more meetings. Sitting at a desk forty hours a week was hard on her hip. But worse than that, she missed Jack, missed the mountains, missed the rhythm of daily life, the fresh air, the horses.
Already, the Cimarron felt like home. She’d left so many things at the ranch—toiletries, makeup, clothes—that she now had her own closet in Jack’s bedroom. Nate and Megan, who were also in Denver during the work week while Megan finished her first semester of law school, had made her feel like part of the family, inviting her over for supper after work. Nate had even come to shovel her walk without being asked.
But Janet lived for the weekends when Jack would pick her up and drive her back to the Cimarron, where he spoiled her with good food, good conversation, and sex so amazing it blew her mind. She’d never had a lover like him.
She’d told him this one night when she’d lain beside him, sexually spent and replete, her body floating.
He’d drawn her into his arms, kissed her. “That’s because no man has ever loved you the way I do.”
She knew he wanted to ask her to marry him, knew he was giving her time to get used to her new job, her new routine, her new life. When Megan showed Janet her wedding ring and oh-so-casually asked what kind of ring she’d always wanted, Janet knew the day was drawing near.
But whatever plans he was making got put on hold when Janet learned she was being sent to Quantico to attend a week-long conference about intra-agency cooperation. She’d be leaving on a Sunday and getting back on a Saturday, which meant losing four whole nights with him.
“We’ll make up for it when you get back,” he said. “I promise.”
# # #
Jack held Janet’s hair while she threw up, then got her a cold washcloth.
She looked up at him, misery etched into her pretty face. “I’m so sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing?”
“You made such a wonderful dinner, and I can’t keep it down.”
“Don’t even think about that. It’s not important.”
Jack was worried. Janet had been sick ever since coming home from Quantico. At first, they thought she’d picked up the stomach flu at that damned conference. Now it seemed she’d come down with something more serious, some lingering food-related illness. He’d had big plans to surprise her with a proposal and an engagement ring, but had put all of that on hold until she was well.
“I want you to see the doctor tomorrow.”
She nodded. “I’ll call first thing in the morning and make an appointment.”
“Let’s get you to bed.”
She nodded, reached for his hand.
He helped her to her feet, made sure she had her cane, then went to turn down the covers while she brushed her teeth.
She walked out of the bathroom, climbed into bed. “God, I feel hungry now.”
“I don’t think I’d trust your stomach if I were you.” He pulled the duvet up to her chin. “I’ll go make you some tea.”
Downstairs, Nate was reading Emily a bedtime story. “How is she?”
“She lost her supper—again. She’s going to see her doctor tomorrow.” He walked into the kitchen to find Megan doing the dishes.
“I’m heating water for tea. It might help calm her stomach.”
Jack gave Megan a pat on the shoulder. “You must have read my mind.”
Now twelve weeks pregnant, Megan had had a rough go of it this past month, sick every morning and exhausted. She’d struggled to make it through her classes and get her studying done each night. So far, her professors had been understanding, and Nate had taken up much of the slack with Emily so that Megan could sleep and study.
“You go rest. I’ll finish the dishes.”
“Thanks.” Megan shot him a smile. “I still have five chapters of reading to go.”
“You’ll get it done. I have faith in you.”
By the time Jack had finished the dishes and wiped down the table, the tea kettle was whistling. He poured boiling water into a small porcelain teapot, added a bag of mint tea leaves, then put the teapot together with a mug and a small jar of honey on a tray and carried it to the bedroom, only to find Janet sound asleep.
He set the tray down on the nightstand, brushed a strand of hair off her cheek, and watched her sleep.
# # #
Janet sat on a chair in the exam room, hoping she wouldn’t throw up on the floor and watching while Dr. Rivera, a kind young woman with dark shoulder-length hair, typed in Janet’s symptoms—nonstop nausea, vomiting, dizziness, fatigue.
Dr. Rivera turned to her. “There are a variety of tests we can run, but first I’d like to do a thorough exam. Undress down to your underwear.”
She gave Janet a gown, then left her alone to take off her sweater and leggings, returning a few minutes later with a nurse. She listened to Janet’s lungs and her heart, looked in her throat and ears, then asked her to lie back and began poking around on her abdomen. “When was your last period?”
“It’s been a year, I guess. Menopause hits the women of my family early.”
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“Have you had unprotected sex in the past few months?”
Janet stared at her. “You don’t think…”
“I think you might be pregnant.”
Janet’s pulse spiked. She sat up, clutching the gown around her like a shield. “I don’t understand how that could happen. I’m forty-five. I’ve been pre-menopausal for four years.”
“I’ve had women get pregnant naturally who were older than you are. Unless a woman goes a full calendar year without a period, we don’t consider her to be in menopause. You could go six or seven or even eleven months without a period and then suddenly ovulate.”
Janet shook her head. “I just don’t think it’s possible.”
“Slip out of your panties. I’d like to do a pelvic exam, if that’s okay.”
Janet took off her underwear, then lay back on the exam table and let Dr. Rivera put her feet in stirrups, wincing at the pain caused by the cold, hard speculum.
“Try to relax,” Dr. Rivera said.
Right. Sure.
How was Janet supposed to do that?
“Your cervix is blue, a good indicator of pregnancy. I’m going to palpate your uterus.” She was silent for a moment, her pushing and prodding causing Janet discomfort. “I’d definitely say you’re pregnant. What you’ve been experiencing is hyperemesis gravidarum.”
Janet covered her eyes with her hands. “I don’t believe this.”
“I take it this pregnancy is a surprise?”
Major understatement.
“You could say that.”
“Do you have a relationship with the father?”
“Yes, but he certainly won’t be expecting this.”
No, he wouldn’t. She’d told him she couldn’t get pregnant.
Dr. Rivera kept a soothing hand on Janet’s leg, turned to her nurse, and spoke quietly. “Go get me a Doppler.”
Janet was helped to a sitting position, then given privacy to dress again. As she put on her clothes, she was so stunned she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, her motions automatic, her emotions and thoughts jumbled.
The doctor returned with a little device in her hands. “I’d like to listen for the baby’s heartbeat, if that’s okay.”
This entire situation was surreal.