22
Jesse
I'd been in charge of getting the tequila and whiskey for the game. Sundance was bringing the cards and Roxie and Katy. Joelle was in the kitchen filling bowls with chips and dips.
I plunked the bottles of booze on the counter.
"You still haven't told me the rules of this game. What's it called? Strip or Shot War?" She motioned to the row of shot glasses. "I'm going to assume these are the shots, and I'm hoping the strip part has something to do with thin pieces of fabric. I'm lost on the war part."
I walked around the counter and helped myself to a chip. "It's like the card game of war, except our version is way cooler. We all turn over cards, and when two or more people turn over matching cards, those two people have to accept a consequence. They can take a shot of liquor or remove one item of clothing. And if the matching cards are aces, they have to do both."
"Ah ha." She looked down at her t-shirt and jeans. "Then I'm extremely underdressed."
"No you aren't. It's a casual game. No fancy dress required."
Joelle scooted around me. "That's not the kind of underdressed I mean. I'm going to add a few more layers. I'm notoriously unlucky at cards, so if I don't add a few more items to my wardrobe, I will either be drunk or naked less than an hour into the game. Maybe even both."
I picked up another chip. "What's your point?"
"Butthead." She walked out.
"I'm just saying, I don't see any problem with naked or drunk or both," I called to her as she disappeared down the hallway.
Zach came in from the shop. "Who's naked and drunk?" He walked straight to the chip bowl.
"I was just telling Joelle the rules of the game."
Zach didn't answer. He was wearing that over-thinking look on his face. It came with a beard twitch, which meant he was really over-thinking something.
"What's on your mind, bro?"
Zach took another chip and swept it through the dip. "Just wondering—" He stopped before eating the chip. "Do you think this is a good idea?"
"What? Putting dip on a chip? It's been done for years and has worked out just fine."
"Fuck you, Jesse. You know exactly what I mean." He dropped the chip in the sink and started to walk out.
"It's no big deal. It's just a game, Zach."
He stopped in the doorway and looked past me, apparently, to check that Joelle wasn't around. Then he stepped back into the kitchen and lowered his voice. "A game that we usually play with a bunch of people we don't really give a shit about except to have a good time."
I knew exactly what he was getting at, but I couldn't bring myself to focus on it because I'd had some of the same thoughts. But instead of admitting that to Zach, I took a different route, the completely wrong one at that.
"Katy is coming too. I thought you two had been starting something. You know back before . . ." Seeing the cold as stone expression in my brother's face, I let the words die off.
"As I said a few minutes ago, Jes. Fuck you."
"C'mon, Zach, I just—"
He stepped closer. Having been his younger brother for twenty-five years, I knew to take a step back. "You just thought you'd neatly pair me up with Katy and then, well, then you'd have her all to yourself. So I'll say it again. Fuck you."
"I love her." The words came out fast. I couldn't stop them. I didn't want to stop them. Zach and I had been circling each other and avoiding the topic, the elephant in the room, or in this case, the amazing girl in the house.
A harsh laugh shot from Zach's mouth. The sound of it made me curl my fingers into fists. "What the fuck do you know about love, Jesse?"
"Me? Look who's talking. You stood right there in that yard and watched Sage climb into her car and drive off for good. And I know it was eating you up inside, but you didn't follow her. Why the fuck didn't you follow her?" We had tried our damndest to keep our voices low but that was done. "You just let her go. So, don't talk to me about love, big brother. Don't even fucking talk about it."
I knew I'd hit a sore spot, and it showed in Zach's face. It had been a low blow, and I was already regretting it. But every fucking emotion was shooting through me and hurting Zach seemed like my best defense against my own heart taking a hit.
"You know why I didn't follow her?" Zach's voice had dropped low again, but it wasn't out of not wanting Joelle to hear. It was that I'd hit him right where it counted, and he was pissed as hell. "Because I knew that my brother, the first Coltrane to be born with the same insane natural talent as John James Coltrane, would fuck things up if I left him on his own. I knew that if I left, this family's legacy would die off, while you partied and screwed around. That's why I stayed. I stayed for the business because I knew you couldn't handle it on your own."
My fists were both balled in rage. Instead of backing off, I stepped closer. Zach and I hadn't taken a swing at each other since we were kids. "Don't put the fucking blame on me, Zach. I could've handled things just fine."
Another harsh laugh followed. He turned to leave, obviously deciding this was done. But I wasn't done. I shoved him. He swung around, ready to pummel me. A sound in the doorway stopped him. It was hard to know if he would have hit me or how far this would have gone, but the second we both sensed Joelle in the room, the anger cooled.
The look on her face was somewhere between confusion and hurt. It was a small house. She had to have heard plenty.
Without another word, Zach grabbed the bottle of whiskey and turned to leave.
"Hey, I bought that whiskey."
"Put it on my fucking tab." Zach walked out and slammed the back door hard enough to rattle the windows in the kitchen.
I steeled myself to face Joelle again. She looked plumper than usual, and it took me a second to realize that she had layered on at least half a dozen shirts, apparently determined not to lose the game. She blinked up at me with big brown eyes and what seemed to be a million questions on her lips.
"Don't worry about that. Zach just had a long day, that's all."
"Jesse, stop. I heard enough. Sherry mentioned today that since I'll be making more money with my singing, I'll be able to afford to live on my own."
It was the last thing I needed to hear tonight. "Sherry should mind her own fucking business."
Joelle stepped farther into the kitchen. She fanned her face. "One too many shirts. She's just worried about us, about you guys. She loves you and Zach, and . . ." She fingered the bottle of tequila. "And maybe she's right. Maybe it'll be better if I live on my own. I'll still be in Tanglewood." A sad laugh followed. "I've got nowhere else to go, and frankly, I've never been as happy as I am right now. Here in this town, with you and Zach."
I took hold of her hand, lifted her knuckles to my mouth and kissed them. "Neither of us wants you to go. I don't want you to go."
She looked out the window toward the shop where Zach had turned the light back on to apparently sit and sulk with my whiskey. "I don't want to lose either of you, but I'm worried that I might just lose you both." She picked up the bottle of tequila and walked down the hallway to her room.
I stood there alone in the kitchen, wondering just what the hell had happened here. Zach was outside, pissed off and sucking down a bottle of whiskey. Joelle was in her room, alone with the bottle of tequila and entertaining the idea of moving out. And I was standing with a row of empty shot glasses, no liquor and feeling like I just got pulled in two directions.
My phone rang. I answered it. "What do you want?"
"Is that any way to talk to your best friend? We'll be up in around an hour. Roxie has to wait for Katy to get off work."
"Game's off, bro."
"What? Why the fuck?"
"Just isn't going to work tonight. Later."
23
Joelle
At the time, the bottle of tequila had seemed like a good idea, a nice way to numb the emotional chaos. It had definitely numbed me some, but there was still plenty of chaos. I had stripped off the layers of clothing, down to
just my tank top and jeans, relieved that the game had been cancelled.
I listened to the explosive sound effects of the video game being played out in the living room. The only voices were those of the game characters, so I concluded that Jesse was playing the game alone.
I got up and went to the window. From the bedroom I could see the side of the shop. A light still glowed inside.
I sat on the edge of the bed with just enough alcohol in my bloodstream to make the room rock side to side before righting itself. I'd spent the last hour chiding myself for being such a fool, for thinking I could just happily slip into both their lives and that things would just roll along. Sherry had been the voice in my ear, providing the conscience that should have been coming from my own head. Instead, I had to rely on her to let me know that things were getting complicated and that complicated meant someone or everyone would end up hurt.
But this had gone deeper than my conscience could reach. I couldn't reason with this.
Thanks to the tequila buzz, my bare feet barely seemed to touch the floor as I floated to the door. I walked out to the living room. Jesse had turned the game off. I heard him in the kitchen popping open a beer to go with the six other empty cans sitting on the coffee table next to the game controller. The back door opened and shut. Zach had returned to the house.
I walked over to the radio and turned it on. Tom Petty was singing Free Fallin. I cranked it. I started singing along with Tom and twirled around the living room, getting lost in the music. The room spun too, assuring me that I was plenty drunk. Good ole tequila. For now, it had erased some of the confusion. And, it seemed, my inhibitions had gone right along with it.
I turned toward the kitchen. Jesse stood in the doorway drinking his beer and watching me with a gaze that sent a warm blush over my skin.
He walked over and set the beer down. I swung around again, enjoying the heady rush of being drunk. A strong arm circled around my waist. Jesse pulled me around to face him and his mouth lowered over mine. In his arms, I swayed to the rhythm of the music. My lips parted and his tongue stroked mine as the kiss deepened.
He lifted his mouth from mine, and my hand trailed along his arm, to take hold of his hand. He twirled me, and the room blurred around me, but one thing came crystal clear through the haze. Zach's face. His eye's looked heavy with the whiskey he'd been drinking. I still held Jesse's hand as I reached across the room to him.
Zach's strong hand gripped mine, and he pulled me hard against him. His mouth came down over mine. The kiss was almost punishing. I wanted more of it.
The music thrummed around us, and my head was light with it all. As Zach's kiss deepened, Jesse came up behind me and pressed his hard body against me. I was tucked between them, and I knew nothing after this moment would ever be the same. We were all drunk and trying to soothe the same confusion, the same pain. And in the process, it seemed we had awoken every other sensation, every urge, every desire we'd been working so hard to ignore.
Wedged between them, I could feel them both, their cocks pressing urgently against me, Zach's against my belly and Jesse's against my ass. I spun around and reached my arms around Jesse's neck. His kisses started at my mouth and trailed down my neck. Behind me, I could feel the callused tips of Zach's fingers as he took hold of the hem of my shirt. He drew it up and over my head. Immediately his mouth pressed kisses along my shoulders.
Jesse's mouth continued down my neck and along the curves of my breast. His fingers trailed up along my arms, gently, slowly, eventually curling around the straps of my bra. He pulled them down and his mouth covered my breast, his tongue drawing circles around my nipple.
I leaned my head back against Zach's shoulder. As Jesse teased my nipples, Zach smoothed his hands around my belly and worked open the fly on my jeans. In my erotic haze, I heard the zipper slide down.
My head spun with the physical attention. Heat surged between my legs as their hands and mouths caressed me. It was common wisdom that if you had a loose thread on a sweater, you tied a knot to stop it from unraveling. I knew it too but I didn't tie a knot. Instead, I grabbed hold of that loose thread and pulled, even knowing damn well it could unravel everything. But I couldn't stop pulling. Maybe I was just greedy. Or maybe Bobby had left me so starved for affection, so eager to be loved, I couldn't stop. Or maybe it was simpler than that. Maybe it wasn't all that complicated. Just maybe, it was because I loved them both.
Jesse's mouth was over mine again. His hands swept down to the clasp on the front of my bra. The straps slid down my arms as the bra fell away. Cool air touched my nipples that were hard from Jesse's kisses. I moaned against his mouth as Zach ran hot kisses down my back. His fingers gripped the top of my jeans. He yanked them down. My panties went too. The cool air in the room swept across my wet pussy.
Without leaving Jesse's body, I turned around, my back now pressed against him as Zach lifted his mouth to mine. My fingers gripped Zach's shirt, and I pushed it up. He reached back, his mouth leaving mine just long enough to pull the shirt off. Instantly, my hands smoothed over the hard muscles of his chest. I pulled my mouth from his, my face brushing against his beard as I lowered my lips to his pecs. As I leaned down, to trace Zach's tattoos with my tongue, Jesse ran his tongue over the small of my back. I sucked in a sharp breath as he continued along my ass.
Even through the music rumbling around the room, our heavy breathing mixed with our racing heartbeats to make a rhythm all their own. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I should have been taken aback, aghast at what I was doing. I should have, at the very least, been wary how vulnerable I was standing naked between two powerful men, men who were just hours ago filled with anger at each other over the naked girl standing between them. But I felt only desire and security and an overwhelming sense that I never wanted to lose what we had together.
I turned around and reached for Jesse's shirt. He pulled it off with one swift move. His eyes were glazed with a hunger that sent a shiver through me. Individually, Zach and Jesse had rekindled feelings and sensations in my body that I'd considered long gone, doused by Bobby's inept, selfish, clumsy ways in bed. Individually, they had both easily brought me to orgasm. But now, with both of them, their raw masculine scents intermingling with the fragrance of desire that permeated the air, I was out of my mind with wanting them.
I reached back to touch Zach's face. He kissed my palm and then took hold of my wrists. He held my arms securely as I arched my body toward Jesse. Jesse's long hair feathered over my skin as his mouth ran over my nipples and along my belly. He dropped to his knees in front of me. As Jesse pushed my feet apart, Zach held my arms behind my head, both wrists secured by one strong hand. Zach's hard cock, now free from pants and slick with desire, pushed against my ass, teasing me mercilessly as he drew it along the crack and pressed it against the tight puckered hole. His deep groan rolled over my shoulder as Jesse's low deep growl rumbled along my inner thigh.
Jesse peered up at me over the mound of dark hair. I felt his gaze on my body, on my face, but it was nearly impossible to focus. My mind, my entire physical being was focused on my most intimate parts, each one throbbing with the need to be penetrated. My inner core was tightened like a fist, waiting for an explosion, waiting to be assaulted in the sweetest, most excruciating way. And, all the while, I was captive between the two brothers, something that might have terrified in a different place and with different men. But with Zach and Jesse, it was the height of erotic pleasure. It was a heightened sense of desire I had never experienced before, and I was sure I'd never experience it again.
Zach continued to rock against me, pressing his cock more firmly against me each time, penetrating my ass a little more with each pass. My head dropped forward. I looked down at the top of Jesse's dark head as he spread my pussy wide with his fingers. His breath cooled the hot cream filling the folds of my pussy. His tongue stroked my clit, and my knees collapsed beneath me. Zach gripped my wrists to keep me from melting to the floor. His firm hold was the only t
hing keeping me upright.
My head lolled back again, unable to keep straight on my neck. I rested it against Zach's strong shoulder as Jesse massaged my clit with his tongue. Even now, even in this fantasy playing out in the front room of their house, Zach was the one to hold me, keep me secure, keep me from dropping into a whimpering puddle. And Jesse was my light, the one to remind me that life can be crazy fucking pleasure if you just let it.
We were locked together physically in a sensual human chain, but they were both independent of each other. I was the connecting link.
Zach released my hands, and I dropped my arms. One hand tangled in Jesse's long hair as his thumb strummed my clit, bringing me closer to orgasm. My free hand reached back and wrapped around Zach's cock. His low groan tickled my ear as I moved my hand back and forth along his thick shaft.
I whimpered in disappointment as Jesse removed his fingers and tongue from me. He pushed to his feet. While they weren't saying a word to each other, the brothers seemed to be silently communicating. Zach stepped back and Jesse swept me up, into his arms and carried me to the couch. The coffee table stuttered and scraped the wood floor as Zach shoved it out of the way. The empty beer cans rolled off the table and across the floor.
Time moved deliciously slow, in contrast to the rapid beat of my pulse. I stretched out naked on the couch as Zach and Jesse removed their pants. They were so different, both incredibly hot in their own way and both impossible to resist.