“I … I don’t know. Probably everything.”
“Is that what you want? Do you want him to know about Dean?”
“No, but he deserves to, doesn’t he? Don’t I have to tell him?”
“Well, right now there’s no way, but wasn’t that the whole point of not breaking up with him before the date?”
Lex sighed. “Yeah.”
“And if you told him right now about you and Dean, while they’re in the middle of recording an album together, what do you think might happen?”
Lex buried her face in her hands.
“I’m just saying, Lex, I don’t think you should talk to him until you calm down.”
“What am I going to tell him? I can’t just leave.”
“Just tell him you’re coming to stay with me for a few days, since he’s not going to be home. Easy.”
Lex took a heavy breath and let it go. “Okay.” She peeled herself out of the seat, and Kara pulled her in for a hug.
“It’s gonna be all right.”
Lex’s chest hitched, and she nodded against Kara’s shoulder before she pulled away and shuffled into her room.
While Lex packed her things, Kara sat at the window seat and stared at her phone. Lex cared enough about Dean that she had turned into a teary lump of sadface, which was something that, in the twenty sum-odd years that they’d been friends, Kara had never seen. For Lex to feel like she did about Dean and not let him know was ludicrous, especially over something so stupid as tarot cards.
Kara smiled as a plan formed in the back of her mind, and she wondered if there wasn’t a way she could help make it right after all.
Roe paused before he knocked on Dean’s door and braced himself, afraid of what he would find inside. He had almost made it home after practice when Kara texted him to ask if he would scope out Dean, and he couldn’t say no. His shower and bed could wait for Dean and Kara.
He hadn’t been able to talk to Dean, not really, not since after Lex ended things. Dean was trying to hold it together, Roe could tell. It was painful to watch him around Travis over those few days, and he couldn’t imagine what Dean was actually going through. They were finally recording and had been working nonstop, so it was, essentially, the worst timing ever.
A rumpled Dean answered with eyes framed by dark circles and heavy stubble working into a beard. He didn’t say anything, just turned to walk back into the dark apartment, leaving the door hanging open behind him.
Roe walked in and closed the door as Dean sat back down amid stacks of records, broken and lost in a sea of vinyl.
“Re-organizing your records, huh?” It was worse than he thought.
“Chronologically, by genre.”
“And before they were … ” Roe stepped around piles of records as he made his way toward the couch.
“By genre, chronologically.”
“Right.” Roe threw his jacket over the back of the couch and sat, then asked a question he already knew the answer to. “What happened?”
Dean slumped on the floor, his hand on a stack beside him. He looked up at Roe. “You really want to know?”
“You need to tell somebody.”
“It didn’t go well.”
“Obviously. Have you looked in a mirror lately?” Roe waited for Dean to continue. He didn’t. “So, are you going to tell me, or are we going to play Twenty Questions?”
“Okay, okay.” Dean’s forearms rested on his knees, and he bent his head down to run his hand through his hair. “I don’t even know how to talk about it.” He paused. “It’s bigger than me being interested in her, Roe, it’s more than that. She’s … I … I care about her. I want her, all of her. I want to make her laugh, and kiss away her pain. I want to love her. But I’ll only ruin her.”
Roe sat back, arms crossed on his chest as he took it all in. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing. She made it clear how she feels.”
“Which is? God, I hate being your shrink.”
“She blew me off. And that’s the end,” Dean said simply.
“Are you sure you shouldn’t try to talk to her? I mean, if she means that much to you—”
“Roe, she said she couldn’t trust me. How would you suggest that I prove to her that I want to be trustworthy? That I want to give her everything I am? That I would rather walk away from her forever than risk hurting her?” His face twisted in pain, and at that moment Roe was certain he was about to cry.
“Dean … I’m sorry.”
“Yeah,” he said, his voice ragged, “me too.”
Kara found Roe leaning on the doorframe when she answered the knock at her door. He stood up straight and clicked his heels together. “Captain Snitch, reporting for duty.”
She rolled her eyes as he gave her a salute. “Get in here, Captain, before I discharge you dishonorably.”
He sauntered over to her couch and sat, and she curled up next to him.
“How’d yours go?” she asked.
“Well, Dean smells like shit, looks like a lumberjack, and has a horrible case of sad, lonely eyes. Yours?”
“Also smelly, though she looked less like a lumberjack and more like a hobo. I brought her home with me.” She felt Roe stiffen and his head turn. “Don’t worry, she’s at work.”
He relaxed under her. “Dean is a mess, Kara. I swear to god, I thought he was going to cry and I was going to have a heart attack from shock.”
“Lex too. I have never, ever seen her get so worked up over a guy.”
“Did she explain why? I mean, you said the date was … what did you call it?”
“The Niagara Falls of emotional awakening.”
He snorted. “Yes, that.”
“Well, what you need to know about Lex is that she has serious abandonment issues. And that she’s superstitious. I guess she had a run-in with a tarot card reader who did a reading for her. Lex’s interpretation was that Dean wouldn’t be faithful to her, and that she had to break down the tower now instead of waiting for it to fall, or something crazy like that. I’m pretty sure she was just scared shitless and looking for a way out of the relationship before she could get hurt.”
“Hmm. I’m guessing Travis doesn’t know what’s going on. He’s been a little quiet but hasn’t done anything to indicate he knows what’s up.”
“No, she hasn’t even seen him since you guys have been so busy. She’s planning on breaking up with him as soon as she does.”
“What are we going to do with them?”
Kara sighed. “I don’t know, but we have to do something. Lex is a wreck. She cares about Dean way more than she’ll admit to.”
“Honestly? Dean never talks about the girls he’s with, like, not even in high school when guys are supposed to talk about that sort of thing. And? He never gets emotional, and I would know. I have been there for some of the hardest things he’s gone through, and he’s been through a lot. So, to see him like this over Lex is shocking. I have no idea how to handle it.”
“We’ve got to set something up because they’ll never make a move on their own. I think they’re supposed to be together. The only thing that we have to work out is Travis.”
Roe ran his hand up and down her back. “Well, you said she was going to break up with him, right?”
“Yeah, she said she was. She said she needs to be alone, which is crazy coming from her. She hasn’t been alone since she’s been out of a training bra.”
Roe laughed. “Let’s figure it out once they break up. At least then we won’t have to worry so much about him wigging out about Dean.” He squeezed her a little tighter. “So, have you told her yet? About us?”
She twisted to look at him with her eyebrow cocked. “Seriously?”
He sighed. “I know. I get it.”
Kara snuggled back into him, then wrinkled her nose. “Why aren’t you guys working, anyway? And, by the way, you don’t smell so great yourself.”
“Yeah, four dudes sleeping on three couches in a warehouse
will do that. You should have seen Kevin on the pull out bed, cuddled up with Dean. It was worth the stink just for that. We broke for the night, since everyone was exhausted, and we weren’t getting anywhere.”
“Well, smelly boy, perhaps we should get you cleaned up?” She flipped around to lay in his arms and tilted her face up to his.
“That sounds like a great idea.” He scooped her up and carried her to the shower.
Day 16
TRAVIS STUFFED HIS DRUMSTICKS INTO his bag and slung it on late that night, ready to get home. It had been a long few days in the studio, and everybody was exhausted and on edge. Every day, Dean came to practice with a handful of songs, but he looked like hell. Something was going on with him, but Travis didn’t know what. He was still focused, but he looked ragged and was almost silent. Every new song was good, so good that they were considering putting them on the album, but they were angsty and heartbroken. The confident Dean that he’d come to know was nowhere to be found.
The band had a gig coming up to test drive the new stuff on a crowd, and Travis was ready for his first show. They’d been working their asses off, but they were getting somewhere. Their label rep was pleased, which took some of the pressure off. No one was resting easy, though, because they weren’t out from under the gun.
At that point, he just wanted to sleep in his own bed. His heart fell when he remembered that Lex wasn’t there, and his brow dropped as he wondered what was going on with her. They’d texted briefly, and she’d said she was just staying with Kara to keep her company while he was gone, but he didn’t buy it. He’d been too busy to call, though, and hadn’t heard from her. He had a feeling that it was over and found some comfort in the explanation of her behavior, but it didn’t stop him from worrying about her.
Travis clapped Dean on the shoulder as he passed by. “See you tomorrow, man.”
Miserable eyes turned to him. “Yeah, sure.”
Travis shook his head as he caught up to Roe. “Is Dean all right? He hasn’t really been himself.”
Roe looked back over his shoulder at Dean. “Yeah, he will be. I hope, at least.”
They walked out into the New York night, and the heavy warehouse door banged closed behind them.
———— Olympus ————
Perry sat sideways on Dita’s couch with a pint of ice cream, making out with her spoon.
Dita paced her apartment to the sound of her speakers blaring house music, which was her best and most favorite thinking music.
She looked over at Perry, who bobbed her head. “Wan thum?” she asked with a spoon in her mouth.
“That’s all you.”
Perry wiggled in her seat, couch dancing. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, but I have to do something. I can’t stand them hurting like this.”
“Who knew Lex’s fatal flaw would be superstition? Of all the stupid things.”
Dita snorted. “Put that in the record book.”
She turned on the plush carpet to walk back across her apartment, Bisoux at her heels.
Think, Dita.
“So,” Dita said, half to Perry, half to herself, “Apollo’s prophecy said Dean would be unfaithful, or at least that’s what the cards implied. And that if Lex pushed the tower down, she would avoid some of the pain because she took control instead of letting fate push it over for her. The tower must be her and Dean’s relationship, and the truth inside is his true nature.”
Perry dug her spoon in the carton. “Well, she pushed the tower down all right.”
“I mean, if we’re just talking about Lex, the tower would be around her heart …” Dita turned again, and Bisoux hopped over her foot. She stopped dead in the middle of the room. “Oh my gods, Perry. What if that’s not it at all?”
“Huh?”
“What if the prophecy isn’t about Dean? What if it’s about Travis?”
She thought back over the cards. What if …
“Okay, so the infidelity … what if I could make it about Travis instead of Dean?”
“I’m not following, Dita.”
“What if the moon, the deceit, was the reading? And what if the lovers, the breakup … what if that’s Travis? What if he is the one who’s unfaithful? And that the truth in the tower was Lex’s truth, that she’s built a wall to protect her feelings for Dean?”
“Do you think you can pull that off?”
“Hell yes, I can.” Dita dance-paced for a minute, and the two goddesses giggled.
“Gods, Dita. You must do the sexiest robot in the history of the world.”
Dita paused to pop and lock, and Perry laughed from the couch as Dita moonwalked over. She flopped down next to Perry, giddy as she looked down into the city.
“Watch this,” she said with a grin.
Dita found the bus stop at the subway entrance by Travis’ apartment with an ad of a magnificent, life-sized model on one wall. Dita closed her eyes, and the wind began to blow past the glass walls as rose petals spun in the air.
A newspaper flew into the face of a bum asleep on the bus stop bench. He sat up, his eyes bugging when the supermodel in the ad blinked. She pulled away from the flat surface, taking shape as she stepped out, and her stilettos hit the sidewalk with a click. She stood motionless and looked down in wonderment at her arms before she ran her hands down her tight, black dress to shimmy it down her thighs. Her chin lifted as she strutted with purpose toward the subway entrance with her short, dark hair bouncing in time to the clip of her high, high heels.
———— New York ————
Travis walked out of the subway entrance by his apartment and plowed into a terminally beautiful woman in a tiny black dress. She grabbed his chest as she fell into him, and he leaned back from the force, grabbing her waist to hang on to her.
“Oh gods,” she said, “I’m so sorry! These shoes are killing me.”
“Are you okay?”
He looked down at the top of her head. The big curls of her short hair shielded her face from him as she bent down, still hanging on to his shoulder with one hand while she popped her heels off. She wiggled her toes on the sidewalk, then tilted her face up to the sky with her eyes closed. “Ahh, that feels amazing. I’ve had those shoes on forever.”
She opened her eyes, and he was unwilling and unable to stop himself as he dropped his lips to hers. The moment they touched was the moment when he forgot everything, his mind in a fog as he lost himself in her.
Day 17
THE PHONE BLARED IN LEX’S ear, snapping her from sleep. She rolled over and slit her eyes against the morning sun as she picked up her phone. Travis’ picture smiled at her from the screen, and her stomach flipped when she hit the accept button.
“Hey, Travis.”
“Sorry, did I wake you?”
“It’s okay. Everything all right?”
“No. Lex, I need you to come home. We need to talk.”
She pushed herself up on an elbow, suddenly very much awake. “All right, yeah. Yeah. I’ll be home in a few hours.” Lex hung up and lay back down.
Kara yawned. “What’s going on?”
“Travis wants to talk. Do you think … do you think he knows about Dean?”
Kara rolled over to face Lex, her eyes clear and blue in the morning light. “I don’t know. Are you going to tell him if he doesn’t know?”
“If I’m not going to be with Dean, does it matter? Would I be hurting him to clear my own conscience?”
“I don’t know, Lexie. I just don’t know.”
“Me neither. I just have to see how it goes. If it feels right, I’ll tell him. Either way, this is it.”
Kara watched her for a moment. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” Lex answered, knowing it was true. “It’s time.”
A few hours later, Lex opened the door to find Travis sitting on the couch with his hands clasped in front of him, his expression unreadable. She dropped her keys in the bowl and closed the door quietly as she set her bag d
own, then moved to sit next to him, twisting her fingers together in her lap as they sat in silence.
“Travis I—”
“Hang on, me first.” His eyes were on his hands, and he paused to take a deep breath before he began. “I don’t even know how to tell you this, Lex. I’ve loved being with you, and you’ve become my best friend. But I’m not in love with you, and I think you feel the same way about me. Am I right?”
Her heart ached, and she nodded. “I …”
“It’s okay, Lex.”
“Where did this come from?” she asked, dreading his response.
“I …” He turned to face her. “I met someone last night and brought her home with me.”
Her face fell, only slightly hurt. After what she’d almost done with Dean, she didn’t have any room to judge, or to be upset. At least he cared enough to be honest with her. Guilt welled up inside her.
“Lex, things have been crazy around here. You’re not talking to me. You’ve been going through something and keeping it from me. And I must be checked out of the relationship if I brought someone to the place where we live together. I think … I think it’s over.”
Her mind raced. Now, she thought. Tell him now. But she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. Instead, she weighed it out again, should she tell him or not?
How hurt and angry would Travis be that she’d lied to him about her date with Dean? If he knew what she’d done? She wasn’t sure anymore, not after his confession that he’d cheated on her. But, then again, she was going to break up with him anyway. Not that she had any right to be angry, even though Travis didn’t know their breakup was coming before he screwed someone else.
What happened between her and Dean was so much worse than Travis’ cheating. Dean was a part of Travis’ life, of his success. Travis may not go on a rampage if he found out, but could he go through every day at practice knowing she had been with Dean? Because it was cheating on her end too, even though she and Dean hadn’t gone all the way. In fact, she felt like out of the two of them, she was the criminal because she hadn’t planned on it being a fling. She’d planned on it being much, much more.