CHAPTER IV.
ELLEN BUCHAN.
She was the pride Of her familiar sphere,--the daily joy Of all who on her gracefulness might gaze, And in the light and music of her way Have a companion's portion. Who could feel, While looking upon beauty such as hers, That it would ever perish?--WILLIS.
That night, and for many days, Hubert knew no peace; sleeping or waking,Harris was ever in his thoughts; turn where he would, there was aremembrance of his dead companion, the loss of whom he deeply mourned.Out of health himself, his bereavement was more felt, especially as hewas unable to seek other comrades with whom he might drive gloomythoughts away. At other times, when he had been ill, Harris had eversought him; but now, no one save those who waited upon him entered hisroom, and he began to hate the sound of their footsteps, because he feltthat he paid for their sympathy. Poor Harris! how he missed him; howlong the days seemed, and how slow his recovery! Who shall say it wasnot an opportunity vouchsafed by the Almighty to bring back his ownwandering soul? Why did he not pray in his hours of distress? No; theheart long used to the neglect of that holy privilege and duty but illknows how to fly to the throne of grace in the hour of woe, and toooften throws back the hand of God with ungrateful murmurings. Hubertnever once poured out his burden of distress, never once looked to thatloving God whose eye, notwithstanding his wickedness, watched over himwith a father's love, but fretted and repined at the calamity which hadbefallen him, until every pure and good feeling fled away once more, andhe began to be as cold and callous about the death of poor Harris as hewas about other things.
Time, the great soother of woe in the human heart, threw its power overHubert; as it passed, it brought him returning health, and, once againmingling in the busy scenes of his profession, the wounded arm, the deadcompanion, and the warning, all shared the doom of the other events ofhis life: they were gone, and he was happy in forgetting them. Thedifficulty into which he had fallen with respect to his money matters,however, taught him a lesson; and though he again joined the society ofmany of his former companions, he never again fell into that terriblevice which had so nearly ruined his worldly prospects.
Some weeks had passed away; all the little effects belonging to poorHarris were being collected, for the captain of his company had foundamongst some letters the names of some of the poor fellow's relations inEngland. Hubert heard of what was being done, and one morning, meetingthe doctor of the regiment, they began talking the matter over. "I cantell you where his mother lives," said Hubert, "if you will step into myrooms; for now I remember it, I have by me a little note for her,--atleast I have her address upon it."
They walked along together, talking of various matters, and havingreached Hubert's rooms he took from a little desk a small piece ofpaper, and, without a thought, said, as he handed it to the doctor, "Ithink you'll find it on that."
The doctor read the note, and as he did so a sad expression stole overhis face, and then, looking at Hubert, he said, "Oh, Goodwin, what aletter! Poor Harris! What a warning for us all. And what an escape youhad; the ball passed you, but it pierced his lungs. It might have beenyour lot; though I trust a better account than this would have been senthome of you."
"Come now, doctor, no preaching; I cannot tell what account will begiven of me when I'm knocked off."
"A true one, I have no doubt," was the reply.
"Perhaps so; but I don't care what people say; I do my duty, no one candeny that, and soldiers can't be preachers."
"But they can be Christians, and find as much need of the Bible as thesword. As much! Ah! more; it is a double weapon, a sword and a shield:try it, Goodwin, if you never have, and see if I am not correct. If anyman is in heaven, my father is; he was thirty-four years a soldier,fought in forty-one battles, and had as many wounds. And what preservedhim? What made him go cheerfully through all the trials of a soldier'slife? What made his name honoured and respected, as you yourself haveoften observed? Was it the battles he fought, or the fame he won? No. Heread his Bible every day of his life, and tried to live as that holybook says men ought to live. He infused, by God's help, the same spiritinto his company, and many a year must roll by before the words, 'GoodCaptain Martin,' will cease to be heard; and the influence of hisexample will linger still longer. No one can tell the power of example;and it is a serious reflection that we each have to answer for theamount we exercise over our fellow creatures."
Hubert had thrown himself into an easy chain, and, with his hands thrustinto his pockets, he silently listened to the doctor; but now hereplied: "But surely we cannot possibly help persons imitating what wedo. I don't see that we are to be responsible for the folly and evildeeds of others."
"Certainly not, Goodwin; but still, how can we be sure that our conducthas not caused many of the deeds you mention? Thousands of noble-heartedpure-minded youths who have entered the army have been ruined, both inbody and soul, by the example of some wicked comrade."
"Do you refer to Harris?" asked Hubert, starting up from his seat;"because if you do, I may tell you at once that I am not going to beaccused of anything he did. If he chose to make a fool of himself, it isnothing to me: my conscience is clear."
"I refer to truth," said the doctor, "and my own experience; and if wewould only ask ourselves how far our conduct will affect those aroundus, we should be better men. Man _will_ imitate, and it is what heimitates that ennobles or debases him; it is example which has filledthe heart of man with all that is good and noble, and it has also helpedto make up long catalogues of crime. Our blessed Saviour knew the powerof it when He said to His disciples, 'Be ye perfect, as I am perfect.'"
The calm and gentle manner of the doctor subdued Hubert's rising anger,and as he listened to him _he_ also felt the deep power of example.Before any other man who had dared to refer to Harris, as his heart toldhim the doctor had done, he would have given way to the passion whichhis guilty conscience prompted; but there was an overpowering influencein the calm demeanour of that good man, which Hubert felt; and when hewas gone the room seemed very lonely, and Hubert paced it with rapidstride, as he thought over the past: the life he had led and was stillleading, the dead Harris, and the warning note smote upon his memory,and he wished--oh, how earnestly he wished!--that he were but half likethat good man who had just left him. It was a difficult matter, however,for Hubert to profit much by what had transpired; the wish to lead abetter life was earnest enough, but old habits and evil associates hadforged their chains of fascination round him, and he went out to seekcompany which would soon snap the silver cord of purity that wasbeginning once more to form holy tracery on his heart.
Thus it ever is with the heart that is continually striving against theinfluences and power of the Spirit. To keep down the still small voiceof conscience, nothing is so effectual as the whirlwind of pleasure, andman runs headlong from one sin to another, until the fatal hour dawnswhen God's Spirit will no longer strive. Repeated warnings disregarded,and opportunities neglected, ruined Hubert's better nature: in scenesof dissipation the germs of holiness perished, and he sank down deep,deeper still into sin, growing older in wickedness as he grew strongerin manhood, belying, as many do, the noble image on his brow by the markof _Cain_ upon his heart.
It was seldom that the regiment to which Hubert belonged remained longerthan a few years in one place, so that his stock of worldly possessionshad not greatly increased; but it was eighteen years since he left home,and he was now about changing into another regiment, one more stationarythan his own, and marrying the daughter of an old English resident atAgra. During the time Hubert had been in India, he had experienced manyvicissitudes often marching through the country, often in battle, andoccasionally sick and in hospital. He had grown from the pretty rosy boyto a tall, dark sunburnt man, and was now a captain. In military thingshe had improved; but though of those who went out with him to India morethan half had either fallen in battle or died of disease, nothingsoftened his heart, and it was a wicked boast he frequently
made in themess-room, that when he was unable to fight any longer he would thinkabout going home and being religious. Thus he went on wasting the vigourof his life, tempting by his blasphemy the merciful God that was sparinghim, neglecting every opportunity for repentance, and occasionallytearing up his Bible.
The doctor, who had been nearly the same time in the regiment thatHubert had, but who in age was ten years his senior, never lost anopportunity of trying to influence the soldiers for good. Many a rebuffwas the reward of the good man's efforts, but he never wearied. Hubert,though he listened to him once, had grown vain with his militarypromotion, and shunned the good man who had once brought his heart nearto heaven. Dr. Martin, however, never lost sight of the reckless sinner,but breathed many a sigh as he thought of one so gifted, and placed sofar above the wants of life, rushing fast to his ruin; and then heprayed, with all the earnestness of a devoted heart, that God's Spiritwould stay him in his course of sin.
Like a gleam of light upon a darkened object came the intelligence thatHubert was about to be married to Ellen Buchan. Nearly every one inAgra knew her, and there were but few who did not also know how good shewas; she and her family were distinguished for their piety, and many adarkened soul in the idolatrous city where they resided learnt by theirteaching and example to place Christianity above the idol-worship oftheir childhood, and became followers of the meek and lowly Jesus.Surely such companionship as Ellen Buchan would be a blessing to Hubert,and a change must come upon him, else he would be no helpmate for one sogood as she was; and the doctor wondered whether a change had notalready come over him, by his having expressed an intention of movinginto another regiment.
How fervently he hoped that it might be so; and though he now seldomexchanged a word with Hubert, he did not forget him, but still hopedthat he might lead a better life. Imperceptibly to Hubert, a change hadindeed stolen over him since he knew Ellen; many of his old haunts wereforsaken, former friends were given up, and Hubert had something to bearfrom the taunting words and manners of his old associates; but he hadother thoughts, new habits were being formed, life had a thousandcharms, and his face beamed more joyous and more handsome every day; hischief desire was to sell out, and purchase in the regiment stationed atAgra. A few disappointments attended Hubert's change of regiment: it wasdelayed longer than he had expected; still, the matter was now, to allappearance, nearly settled, and preparations were being made for themarriage. If Hubert had ever been thoroughly happy, he appeared so now:his past life, with all its associations, was absorbed in the present,in Ellen every thought was centred.
Alas! how frail are man's hopes. One sultry evening a messenger came totell Hubert to come at once to Mr. Buchan's, for something had happened.
With a beating heart and hurried step he hastened to the house, butthere was sorrow there. Ellen had been complaining all day, and, as theevening drew on, her illness increased, and she was found to besuffering from fever. Hubert was frightened, for the fever had beenprevalent, and frequently fatal. That night and the next day he stayedat the house, and then, how dreadful came the intelligence that herlife was despaired of! Now Hubert felt, perhaps for the first time inhis life, the bitter woe of hopes all crushed; for the thought of losingEllen was terrible. What could he do! All around him was a scene of woe.Changed he apparently was in his conduct and habits, but his heart wasthe same, and his sorrow gave way to murmuring and raving about theaffliction. How earnestly he hoped for her recovery, yet how unchastenedwas his spirit! for upon meeting Dr. Martin, who, after inquiring aboutEllen, added kindly, "I hope, if only for your sake, she will recover,"he replied sharply, "Sir, you hope nothing of the kind; if she dies youwill upbraid and taunt me." Unjust and cruel as this remark was, thedoctor pitied and forgave him, and stood gazing after him as he turnedaway.
Ellen died. We need not tell the deep bereavement it was to all wholoved her. Reader! it matters nothing to thee; but there was a home madedesolate, and more than one heart riven. Such is life! A time will comewhen the deep mystery of such dealings shall be explained; till then,hope on! trust on! believe on! Satan would tempt thee in the weak,trying hour to doubt, but remember God does not willingly afflict; thefinest gold has been seven times purified, and happy is he who can lookupward, even though it be through his tears, and say, "It is thy will,Lord; do with me as it seemeth thee good."
All who knew Hubert pitied him under the deep affliction which hadbefallen him, and for a time his spirit bowed beneath it; he overcameit, however, sooner than many had expected, joined himself again to manyof his old companions, and gave up all intention of selling out of hisregiment, and very soon he bade farewell to the friends he had made inAgra, and moved with his regiment to a station further up the country.