Page 18 of Skid


  “Hi.”

  “I haven’t told you this yet, because we’re virtually strangers, but you look really good in polka dots.”

  “Hank, that is so nice.”

  “I’ll do it.”

  “Do what?”

  He turned to her with an enthusiasm she hadn’t seen in him before. Compared to her gale-force winds, he was usually like a still, calm pond with hardly a ripple in sight. Excitability widened his eyes. He took her hand very gently, as though if he touched her all the bones might break. “I’ll pose as your boyfriend.”

  “But—”

  “I know I was against it, even after Cassie suggested it, and I still think that you’re a wonderful lady with no need for a man’s affirmation, but I like you, Lucy. I like you a lot, to tell you the truth. And if I can do you this favor, then I’ll do it. I mean, why not? We could walk to the bathroom holding hands or something? Something like that? Was that what you were thinking? Maybe that’s too much. Maybe I could just follow you to the bathroom and if he looks up I could comment on how nice you look in polka dots. Yeah, that’s better. That’s not too much. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable…” Hank’s words trailed off as he studied her face. She was not one for mastering expressions, and whatever expression she wore, it caused his energetic grin to fade. “What’s the matter?”

  “Oh, Hank…um, it’s just…”

  He hung his head. “I’m being too forward, aren’t I? Cassie says I need to be more forward, but I don’t know if that’s the best approach. I mean, sometimes things should happen naturally. Like I should pose as your boyfriend only if it fits in naturally, right?”

  Lucy pressed the palms of her hands together and put the tips of her fingers to her mouth. How was she going to break this to him? The victory of one-upping Jeff dwindled at the sight of Hank’s bumbling attempt not to look embarrassed.

  Neil leaned forward. “It’s over. We already did it, while you were back there doing whatever it is you do back there. She stood, I stood, I caressed her shoulders and gave her a little nibble on the neck.” He paused to wink at Lucy. “The guy’s face was priceless. We’re going to celebrate over dinner. I know this great restaurant on the canals.”

  Lucy quickly looked at Hank.

  “Oh, sure,” he said. “I know I was back there a long time.”

  “No, Hank. Please, don’t think that I… I mean, I knew you weren’t comfortable with it, and Neil…”

  Neil shot his hand out, smiling in a self-satisfied manner. “Nice to meet you.”

  Hank shook his hand politely. “Listen, I better go check on Mrs. Kilpatrick again.”

  Lucy grabbed his arm. “Hank, it’s nothing personal at all. You are the sweetest guy.”

  “Yeah. In a Timex sort of way.”

  On his hands and knees, Danny used his fingers like claws, scraping every ounce of egg he could off the airplane carpet.

  “Man, the service people are going to love this mess,” Kim said, head to head with him as she scraped eggs into her own pile.

  “I think this is going to work,” Danny said. “If he’s still hungry enough, this will work.”

  “What is he going to do when he realizes we’ve picked up all his eggs?”

  “Hurry. Faster. I don’t know. Hopefully be mad enough to hunt them down.”

  Kim smiled. “I think this is a great plan. We’re really going to have a story to tell when we get on the ground.”

  “Are you getting the little pieces? We need everything.”

  “Danny, slow down. It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. It’s really not.”

  “Bubba.”

  Danny fell back onto his heels and looked up. The captain stood above him.

  “What are you doing?” she asked. “I have a plan.”

  “Why are you out of the cockpit?”

  “Unless.” What else could he say? That word left a lot of room for interpretation.

  He prepared for a barrage of questions, but instead she said, “Have you seen the ACI?”

  “No. I thought you were looking for him.”

  “I’m trying, but passengers keep stopping me and asking me questions. What about you, Kim?”

  “I saw him earlier. He was checking on fire extinguishers or something. I haven’t seen him in a while.”

  For the first time, the captain looked worried. “He was asking for the manifest?”

  “Yes. And seemed irritated that we don’t keep a full passenger list. I told him we could call for it.”

  “What’d he say?”

  “He mumbled something about everyone moving seats because of the pig, then told me my shoes weren’t up to standard. Really weird.”

  “Did you check the bathrooms?” Danny asked the captain.

  “Yes. All of them except the one that was occupied. Agent Tasler looked a little ill. Everything okay there?”

  Danny started scraping eggs again. “I’ll have to brief you on that in a moment.”

  The captain glanced up and down the aisles. “All right. I’m going to start checking seats. Keep your eye out for him.”

  Danny nodded. “Okay, Kim, hand me that tray.” Together, they scraped their piles of eggs onto the tray. With Kim trailing, Danny made his way back to the central bathrooms, where three other flight attendants waited with trays of eggs.

  “Should we pick out the carpet fibers?” one asked.

  “It’s a pig,” said another.

  “Who doesn’t like tortillas, for crying out loud,” said the third.

  “Okay, listen up,” Danny said. “We’re going to use this bathroom.” He pointed to the largest of the three, twice the size of the others and, Danny guessed, big enough to host a pig. “I want you to put the eggs in the far corner. Close the toilet lid and put them between the toilet seat and the wall. I want him to have to turn to get to it, because then we’re going to shove him in and close the door.”

  GiGi signaled to him. Danny told the FAs to start dumping the eggs and joined her a few feet away from the bathroom. “She’s asking for you. She wants to know what you’re going to do.”

  “Anna Sue?”

  GiGi nodded.

  “Where’s the pig?”

  “About five bites away from finishing up the only eggs left on the floor.”

  Danny took a deep breath. “Okay, it’s now or never. Get everyone to their stations.” He rushed to Anna Sue’s seat. “Hey. How’re you doing?”

  “What’s happening? What are you going to do to him?”

  Danny squatted. She seemed to take things better with him squatting. “Anna Sue, we have to get Chucky under control. We’re setting a trap for him.”

  “A trap?”

  “Listen, it’s not going to harm him. We’re going to lure him into that middle bathroom, the one that’s really big that all the women fight over?” He grinned. Anna Sue didn’t. “Anyway, we’re going to give him some food and water, lure him in there, and shut the door.”

  “Then what?”

  “Then, once we’re on the ground, we’ll let him out.”

  Anna Sue covered her mouth with a shaky hand. “You’re going to keep him in there?”

  “He’ll have enough room to sit. Anna Sue, this is not what any of us want, but we’ve got to think of the other passengers. People are freaking out.”

  Through the cabin they heard, “He’s going to kill me!”

  Danny swallowed. “Um, see? People are really overreacting.”

  “He’s the sweetest pig anyone could ever hope to meet! He would never hurt anyone.”

  “You and I understand that, but not everyone does. With the woman passing away, it’s been a lot for people to take, you know?”

  “You’ve been so kind.” She squeezed his hand. “I’ll trust you.”

  “Okay.” He rose and hurried past the flight attendants. “GiGi, let’s do it.”

  GiGi cleared her throat. “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your patience.” Her voice, cool and smoo
th like she was about to announce the beverage service, gave instructions as Danny scrambled, albeit delicately, toward Chucky with a handful of cold, rubbery eggs. “We’re going to lead Chucky down the aisle and toward the bathroom area. Once we get him there, we’re going to allow him into the bathroom, where he’ll have a nice supply of food and water for the rest of the trip.” GiGi’s voice took on a singsong tone. Danny liked the “allow” part, as if Chucky suddenly became a Gold Star flier and got a perk.

  GiGi continued as Danny slowly approached the pig. He tried not to notice that all eyes were on him. All eyes except Chucky’s. He was rooting around on the carpet, suddenly aware he was out of eggs.

  “Chucky…”

  Chucky’s ears perked up, and he turned his head. His eyes locked with Danny’s, and for a moment, Danny swore he saw recognition there. The pig’s snout tightened as if to say, “You’re the one who spiked my applesauce.”

  Danny gently threw down a few pieces of scrambled egg. “Here you go, Chucky.”

  Except Chucky wasn’t looking at the eggs. Chucky was looking at Danny.

  “Eat the eggs, Chucky.”

  “…and if you all could remain calm and quiet while we carry out this task, it would be so much appreciated. Meanwhile, Amsterdam is reporting balmy, slightly cooler temperatures…”

  “Come on, Chucky…”

  Chucky took one step forward. Then another. Then another. He stepped on some egg, never looking down.

  “Chucky, see? Egg? You love eggs. Exactly what you were eating before. Just more of it. Lots more of it where this came from.”

  “…and we’ll announce which gate we’ll be arriving at as soon as we get that information. For your convenience, there is a diagram of the Amsterdam airport in the back of your Atlantica Sky High magazine, located in the seatback…”

  Chucky started moving faster, his hoofs thumping along the carpet and his beady, black eyes looking determined, despite the fluffy white eyelashes that lined them.

  “He’s not eating the eggs,” a passenger whispered.

  “Thank you, I see that,” Danny said, still backing up. Either way, Chucky was following him. And now, following him rather quickly. Danny hustled backward, dropping eggs every three feet.

  He didn’t really know if Chucky could run, but whatever he was doing, it was faster than Danny expected. Sidestepping now, Danny tossed eggs from his hands and hurried around the corner to the bathroom, Chucky close behind. Danny could hear him huffing and puffing.

  “Move!” Danny flung open the bathroom door. It was a split-second decision, but it wasn’t hard. Chucky was not going to steal his job. He threw himself into the bathroom and climbed on top of the toilet seat. Chucky rushed in after him. Just as Chucky was about to put a hoof up and do who knew what—probably murder him with his snout—Danny grabbed the sides of the bathroom door, heaved himself over Chucky, and cast himself out of the bathroom. Agent Tasler slammed the door and flung her back against it, her arms spread wide.

  “Lock it!” she ordered.

  Danny grabbed the tool they used to lock the bathroom in case of an emergency or if the toilet was broken. Inching it into the small opening, he shoved it sideways, and they heard a click.

  The door now read Occupied.

  A collective round of relieved laughter came and went. Danny listened for Chucky attempting to get out, but he heard nothing except his own breathing and GiGi’s announcement asking everyone to use the bathrooms in the back of the plane.

  “I think he’s okay,” he said.

  Nobody smiled and agreed, but nobody disagreed either. They waited awhile longer and heard nothing.

  “I think he’s okay,” Danny said again. He turned to Kim. “Go tell Anna Sue he’s fine. Don’t forget to smile and use a light voice and positive reinforcement.”

  Kim nodded and rushed off.

  The agent slid upward to a complete standing position and lowered her arms. She handed him a Bic pen.

  “It’s time to get Leendert.”

  Chapter 22

  Every time Jake tried to ease back in to watching television or staring out the window, something shook him up, like a squeal, a scream, a bitter comment from Mrs. Kilpatrick, and now Hank “the gentleman” sitting back down in the seat across from him.

  From the looks of it, he’d crashed and burned with polka-dot chick.

  “You okay?”

  Hank rolled his head to the side. His look painted a good-enough picture.

  “Dude, I’m sorry. She wasn’t interested?”

  “She decided to use another fake boyfriend.”

  “Oh. Dang. Sorry.”

  “You know, one of my younger sisters got married recently. It came easy for her. She met the guy, they liked each other, and that was that. It doesn’t seem to be that difficult.”

  “That’s a one-in-a-million chance.”

  “My parents made it look easy too.” Hank looked depressed. “I really thought she liked me. But then, I have no business being interested in a woman who doesn’t believe in God. He’s everything to me. That relationship could have turned out to be a miserable thing.”

  “Yeah, man. You gotta have similar ideals. I once dated a chick who hated music. It was so ridiculous. I thought it might be cool to get to know someone with other interests, and she was really hot, you know? But at the end of the day, we didn’t have anything to talk about.”

  A commotion ahead caused them both to pause and look, but they couldn’t see much of anything.

  “Do you work for the airline or something?” Jake asked.

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know, you just seem to be the person the pilots ask to help them.”

  “I guess I was just in the right place at the right time.” Hank rose and moved forward a couple of rows. “Mrs. Kilpatrick, how are you—”

  “I don’t know why you keep coming over here checking on me,” the old woman snapped. “It’s irritating.”

  “Ma’am, what can I get you? Maybe I could check on the remainder of the flight time.”

  “See, that’s what I mean. You’re standing there like we’re best friends.”

  “Mrs. Kilpatrick, if you were my mom and this happened to her, I would want someone to take care of her.”

  Jake observed a quiet pause between them. If Mrs. Kilpatrick had treated him that way, he would’ve hightailed it back to his seat and never spoken another word to her or would have cussed her out or something. Of course, he wasn’t certain he would’ve helped her in the first place.

  Jake suddenly clasped his hands over his belly. He’d nearly forgotten about the diamonds. He could feel the pouch underneath his shirt. Soon he’d be on the ground, and then he’d have to make his way to Idya’s house. It was the final leg of the journey, but possibly the most dangerous. Not that he could help it, but he tried not to sweat. That, more than anything, seemed to bring the most attention.

  He closed his eyes and attempted some deep breathing.

  “Young man,” he heard Mrs. Kilpatrick say, “a word of advice on your love life.”

  “My love life?” He heard Hank chuckle.

  “I heard you back there talking about a woman in polka dots. First of all, never trust a woman in polka dots. Secondly, don’t compromise, young man. As much as you annoy me, I recognize that you’re quite a gentleman, and you deserve nothing less than a proper woman.”

  “What is a proper woman?”

  Jake opened his eyes and sat up in order to hear better.

  “Someone your grandmother would approve of.”

  Perry listened very carefully for any movement or sound. Nothing since the loud-mouthed flight attendant returned to the cockpit a few minutes ago, ranting about the pig in the bathroom. If he was going to do it, the time was now. He opened the small door to the coat closet he’d hidden in and inhaled like he was surrounded by mountain air.

  He’d been sitting in the closet for a while, trying to decide what to do. And what he’d decided to
do was prove everyone wrong. He was a man capable of carrying out any plan, no matter what that entailed. Not only that, he was capable of being flexible, unlike his boss. Playing out a scenario that involved a gun he’d found in the cockpit would be a challenge, but he was up for it. He did wonder whose gun it was. Pilots didn’t carry them. At least they weren’t supposed to. Maybe it was the FBI agent’s.

  Either way, he had access to a weapon now, which ushered in Plan C.

  Plan B had been to locate Van Der Mark, follow him off the plane, jump him—possibly in an airport bathroom—get the diamonds, and flee. He planned to restrain Van Der Mark, because he figured the guy would put up quite a fight. He had leftover zip ties from the batch he used to cuff Miles Smilt to the chair. However, his plan got complicated when he realized he had no way of telling where Van Der Mark sat, and that was problem number one, because that was how he’d planned to figure out what the guy looked like.

  Perry glanced quickly toward the cabin, then knocked on the cockpit door.

  Without hesitation, the door opened. James sat with an oxygen mask on his face, looking irritated. GiGi sat in one of the jump seats, her arms folded tightly against her chest. “Where is the captain?” she asked. “Did she get sucked into the Bermuda Triangle or something?”

  “Laugh it up,” James said in a muffled voice, the hiss of oxygen barely making his words audible. “When they find Amelia Earhart, remember who told you where she would be.”

  “Take off the oxygen mask,” Perry said, shutting the cockpit door.

  James turned. “Is this a trick question?”

  “Take it off.”

  “I can’t until the captain returns.”

  “I said take it off.”

  “The captain is looking for you.”

  Perry took the gun out of his waistband and aimed it at James. “Get the mask off.”

  The pilot tore off the mask.

  “Put your hands in the air, and get out of that seat.”

  James’s eyes cut downward, and Perry knew he was going to attempt to push the hijacking button.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Perry said, waving the gun.

  James slowly got out of his seat and stood next to GiGi.