“Oh for fucks sake, Hank, I just met her fourteen hours ago.” Ethan glared at his friend’s reflection in the monitor.
“And? I don’t recall you having a time requirement previously.”
“Those were...” He wanted to say different, but instead he just shut his mouth and tapped an aggravated finger at his console with an irritated grumble.
“Uh-hu.” Hank didn’t have to hear the last word to catch the meaning. He wondered if Ethan could actually be taking this seriously. It would certainly be a welcome change. “Well, I’ll leave you to your work then.” He walked out the door with a self-satisfied smile.
Ethan closed his eyes in the sudden quiet that came from being alone in his station again. Was it different? And if it was, why was it different?
He took a long breath into his cooling system as his mind considered the possibilities. They had almost kissed, and she had wanted to kiss him. At least, he was almost certain of that. There had definitely been some underlying feelings in the connection between them. During the fight with the T’jaros, she had clung to him, and it hadn’t just been for physical support, either.
His hand flexed as it remembered the feeling of her slender fingers intertwined with his. She had been afraid, but she had felt comforted by holding his hand. Fear had been an unexpected reaction from her, but it had been heavy in the connection as her heartbeat had raced inside of her chest. He was starting to understand that the confidence she showed to the universe was a delicately crafted mask that covered what lay beneath the surface. Her nature continued to confuse him as he fought the preconceptions he had held about her.
But should I trust her?
He set his elbows on his knees and leaned forward in his chair, resting his chin on his clasped hands in thought. His mind reviewed their conversation and everything he had learned about her. She had just shared a great deal about herself and her people with him. It felt like she wanted to tell someone, anyone, about who she was.
But to what end?
He wondered if she would make him forget their conversation in the days to come and if she would really have a good reason if she did. He wondered if she would regret it.
The sound of her light laughter haunted him, and he knew that he never wanted to forget it.
The sudden beeping on his com panel brought him out of his thoughts. Tapping the button on the panel, he found a new long range communication message had been received. “Zera, playback message 04283J9.”
“Command confirmed. Decoding.” Zera’s female voice responded. “Message 04283J9 received from Agent 10412-9T.”
Merik’s voice filled the com. “Hey tin-man. Just got word about a new bounty posted to our favorite bunch of drug-fiends. Have to run a quick errand for the tiny angry woman, but will fill you in next time we cross paths. Send your destination and I’ll meet you there if possible. End message.”
Zera’s replay beeped to signify the end. “End of transmission. Would you like to reply?”
Ethan smirked. Most Mecha would be offended by being called tin-man over and over again by a Breather, but it had become a bit of a running joke between he and the Trexen. In the early days of Mechatronic Automaton development on Corwint, the most abundant and lightest metal available had been tin. The Mecha back then were hardly more than lifeless machines built to carry out simple single-purpose tasks. It was just Merik’s way of reminding him not to get too full of himself, because underneath it all, he was still just as much of a machine as those old automatons.
“Would you like to reply?” Zera repeated.
“Yes. Record.” He paused until Zera gave a beep to signify she was recording the audio.
“Hey mind-fuck. Already had run in with drug-fiends. Bounty unclaimed. Heading to Chronos One. Look for the Black Bitch. End message.”
“Message encoded and sent.”
Ethan leaned back in his chair and reviewed the docking plans he had set out with Orynn. Given the apparent new bounty call that had gone out to the T’jaros for their ship, he hoped Merik would be able to have their backs when they docked at port. Part of him, however, didn’t want that Trexen anywhere near Orynn. Merik had shown too much interest in her for Ethan’s liking when they had met on Last Star.
The stir of jealousy he suddenly felt surprised him. He had never been jealous in that way before, and the strength of it concerned him. Whatever she was doing to him, he needed to get control over it quickly before it interfered with the mission. Setting the datapad aside, he sighed and closed his eyes. Once again, his mind was filled with the sound of her laughter and the look of wonderment in her mercury eyes.
Tomorrow is certainly going to be interesting.
13 Overwhelmed
What were you thinking? Have you lost all of your senses?
Orynn’s mind was screaming at her as the door of the bridge slid shut behind her. The sound of her heart beating against her chest was even louder. She took in slow deep breaths to try and calm it, but it refused to let go of the feelings that were stirring within. With unsteady steps, she placed her hand on the paneling of the corridor. The small vibrations she could feel beneath its surface called to her and led her to the only place she knew that she may find solace.
The engine room of the Zera was a small, circular, three level compartment located in the center of the ship. It was filled with the soft blue light and humming drum of the hydrofusion core as it fired. The pulsing vibration echoed into her body as she placed her hands on the core’s titanium enclosure. Leaning her forehead against it, she let the pulsing drown out the arguments from her mind. Her breathing steadied as her heart fell into synch with the rhythm of the engine.
What had I been thinking? How could I have told him so much?
Her hand fell to her waist and clenched the fabric of her shirt where his hand had been. The skin beneath the fabric was still warm and tingled with the memory of Ethan’s fingers. He had shown her compassion, and then he had shown her comfort. She had connected with him, and he had shown her trust. A soft sigh escaped her. It felt so good to be trusted again by someone who knew what she was. It had been so long.
And for a good reason. Do you forget so easily?
She pressed both hands back against the enclosure. It could be different this time. Jehdra had put faith in her that it could be. She could help them. She could let them in. She could trust him.
Until he finds out what you have hidden beneath the surface. Show him who you really are, and then see if he still wants to kiss you.
“Orynn?” Tara had come up from the lower engine compartment to an odd sight. She found Orynn pressed up against the containment vessel of the engine core with the strangest look on her face. “What are you doing?”
Orynn jumped and pulled away from the engine as Tara’s voice woke her from her thoughts. She took in a slow breath to calm her nerves. “My apologies. I know I should not be in here, but I...”
Tara watched as Orynn’s eyes looked longingly at the engine. “What is it?”
“It may sound strange, but I find the sound and vibration soothing. It calms my mind when I feel overwhelmed.”
Tara took a step closer. “Overwhelmed? Do you mean that fight?”
Orynn nodded slightly. “That is part of it.” She looked at Tara’s confused expression. “Sometimes the empathy becomes too much.”
“Oh. I guess I never thought about that. Is it hard to be around us?”
“Not individually. I can usually tune out the emotions of one or two people. When there are more people, or when there are emotional events involved, it becomes more difficult.”
“What’s it like?” Tara was so curious to know more about her. “I mean, if you don’t mind me asking.”
Orynn took a short pause as she thought of the best way to explain it. “Think of it like walking into a crowded room. There are hundreds of people and they are all whispering. As you move about them, some of the whispers become louder over the others, and some get so loud that they are h
itting against you and moving across your skin. You can understand that some are angry while others are happy, and some are so full of anguish while others are full of love. Soon, you cannot tell their feelings from your own and you feel pulled along by them. You lose your breath.”
“And you feel suffocated.” Tara’s own breathing had become labored as she listed to the description.
Orynn smiled at her understanding. “Yes.”
“And the engine helps drown all that out?”
“It must sound strange, but yes, it does.”
“No.” Tara shook her head. “I get it. I grew up around this engine. It’s like an old friend, and I sometimes just come here to clear my head too.”
Orynn’s smile deepened. It gave her relief to find an unexpected connection with Tara. “You grew up on the ship?”
“Yeah. Since I was eight.” She smiled to herself. “Hank and I both did.”
Orynn caught the warmth from Tara’s aura. “So you have been friends for a long time.”
“My dad was the original engineer for Jhonis on the Zera. When my mom died, Jhonis let my dad sneak me on board under Central’s noses. I guess that was after you knew Jhonis?”
Orynn nodded and leaned against the wall. “Yes. I knew Jhonis before he became Captain of the Zera.”
“Oh. Well he brought Hank on board full time a little after I came on. Don’t let Hank’s kind smile fool you. He was a little monster who used to pull my pigtails and get me into trouble so I had to clean out the filters. One time the little snit even locked me in one of the cargo lockers. Took them hours to find me!” Tara spoke of the memory fondly with a laugh.
Orynn joined her laughter. “It sounds like you had a good deal of fun together.”
“Sure it was fun, but I was always the one who got in trouble. All he had to do was grin that innocent toothy smile of his, and Jhonis would buckle.”
Orynn’s laughter grew. “Hankarron had that same smile, and Jhonis could never stay mad at...” Her eyes went wide and she brought her hands to her mouth.
That was a very bad slip.
“Hankarron?” Tara’s heart sped. “Wait... do you mean Hank’s father? You knew Hank’s father?!”
She slowly nodded her head. What are you doing? Do not answer her!
She could learn to trust again. “It was many years before Hankarron... your Hankarron, was born.”
Tara didn’t know what to think, but she tried to keep the accusatory tone out of her voice. “I take it you weren’t planning on telling him.”
“Honestly, no.” Orynn sighed and looked away from her. “I was not sure it was appropriate to bring up, and even Jehdra advised me not too.”
“I agree with her.” Tara could tell Orynn had made a huge slip, and she was surprised the Vesparian didn’t just rearrange her memory. “Hank’s spent quite a bit of energy putting aside the fact that he grew up with an uncle in place of a father. Don’t get me wrong, Jhonis was a wonderful father to Hank, but I’ve done my own research and I know that not everything Jhonis told Hank about his dad was true. Including how he died.”
“Hankarron,” Orynn smiled softly as she thought back to the man she had known almost thirty-five years prior. “when I knew him, he was a good man. I see a great deal of him in Hank. When he smiles, when he laughs, the way he pilots this ship...” She couldn’t stop the small laugh as memories of him flooded in. “...and the way he scratches the back of his neck when he gets anxious.”
“His dad did that too? I always wondered where Hank got that!” Tara watched Orynn in silence for a moment. The Vesparian was smiling in her own thoughts and seemed to be looking back on those memories with fondness. “You cared about him, didn’t you.”
Orynn looked up with trepidation at being so obvious. She chose her next words very carefully. “He was a good friend who showed me great kindness. The man he became later in life was very different from the man that I had known.”
“I understand.” Tara thought that there might be more to it than Orynn was letting on, but she decided it might be none of her business. The fact that Orynn had chosen to be honest with her about this instead of just making her forget was reason enough to let the Vesparian keep her memories to herself if she wanted to.
“You should probably stop there. I can’t lie to Hank to save my life, so the less I know the better.”
Orynn let out a relieved breath. “Thank you. I had better be going anyway. Brom was waiting for me in the cargo hold.”
“Okay. I’ll head that way after I finish up here to give you two a hand.” Tara waited until Orynn was stepping across the threshold of the doorway before deciding the ask one more question. “Orynn, can I ask you one last thing?”
Orynn paused in the doorway and looked over her shoulder at Tara. “Of course.”
“Do you know what happened to Hank’s dad? What changed him from the person you knew?”
The smile left her as Tara asked the question. “Yes.” She finally spoke after a few tense moments of debating with herself on how to respond. Her voice went hollow and her eyes turned back to the hallway. “Someone broke his heart.”
She left Tara standing in the engine room with an uncertain look on her face. Her lip curled in a self-loathing sneer as she walked down the corridor to the cargo hold.
You said too much! Why not just tell her everything?
She reached up and adjusted her hair clip with a scornful scowl. What is done is done.
Jehdra had told her to be open with them. She was simply following orders. Walking into the cargo hold, she spotted Brom positioning a long piece of spare hull plating against the wall. He looked up at her as she approached, but then turned back to his work. He had smiled at her, but Orynn had begun to understand that it was just out of courtesy. His aura told her that he was a very kind hearted person, but she knew he held an understandable bitterness toward her.
She stopped a few feet from his back and waited for him to finish securing the plate at a right angle to the wall of the room. Once he had finished spot welding the piece in place, he stood and turned to her as he lifted the hood on his welding mask.
“Hank said that you required my assistance?”
Brom set the mask on top of the welding tank and nodded. “I don’t really know much about limiks, so I wasn’t sure how long or wide the pen should be.”
Orynn stepped closer to examine the work he had been doing. He stepped away from her as she moved to the panel. The unease from his aura was growing. This morning, he had been kind in the presence of his friends. Now that he was alone with her, she could feel how he really felt about her being on the ship.
Standing inside the right angle, she took four wide steps forward, then three to the side. “This should be where the next divider is placed, and this length is suitable.”
Brom rubbed his hand over the top of his head. He had expected some sort of exact measurement, and he found her actions puzzling. “Alright.”
“You only need four dividers, each the same distance apart, but it does not need to be exact. Limiks are not particular as long as they have room to lay down, and keeping them in pairs helps to keep them calm.”
“Where’d you learn so much about limiks?”
She smiled at him, glad that he was at least talking to her casually. “You would be surprised how much you can learn about Xen’dari ship tracking tactics while sharing bread with a Gokem limik herder.”
Brom raised his eyebrow at her odd explanation. “If you say so.”
She sighed as he turned his back to her. Her attempt at light conversation had been a dismal failure. She had never been good at small talk or making jokes. “Was there anything else I may assist you with?”
“No. Thank you.”
His aura was on edge again, and the feeling of it grated against her. “Brom, I understand your unease.”
“Do you?” He turned to her and the usual genial smile he had was gone. He knew Hank had told him to keep his anger in check, but he
found it hard to just stand there emotionless so close to her. Hearing her say that she understood how he felt had pushed the wrong button and his temper flared. “How could you possibly understand? Your people were on the other side while my people were slaughtered.”
“I will not deny our part in those atrocities.”
“Well that’s good to hear.” He crossed his arms as his large biceps flexed. “See’n as how the rest of the universe thinks Orellians are nuts for try’n to say Vesparians even existed back then.”
“I will not deny our part in that either.” Orynn tried to keep her breathing steady against the rising pressure emanating from his anger. Between her earlier encounters with Ethan and Tara, her nerves were shot. “We tried to erase our part in it in order to keep our existence a secret.”
Brom clenched his teeth. “So you just murdered my people and decided it was okay to forget about it?”
“We have never forgotten it, Brom.” Her heart trembled with the power of the hate directed at her. “My sisters and I carry the memories of those mistakes with us so that we will never repeat them. It is a deep regret that each of us bears.”
“You?” He took a step forward, a sneer raising his upper lip as he glared down at her. He knew they were a long lived race, and the thought that she may have actually been present during those battles and could now talk so casually with him only fueled his growing rage. “You were there?!”
“No.” She didn’t step away from him as he towered over her and glared at her with his stunning brown and bright green hazel eyes. “But I carry the memories of my ancestors who were there almost a thousand years ago. We all do. We pass it on to our children with each generation so that it is not forgotten.”
“Then tell me why!” His anger started shifting into anguish. Of all the oral stories that his people passed down recounting the battles, they had never found an understanding as to why the Vesparians had been there helping the Tarsen. “If your people regret it so much, tell me why they were there! Why were they helping the Tarsen destroy our world?”