‘Well, one day, if you find the right person, you may be able to bring me some grandchildren. Your own or adopted, I don’t care.’ She spread her arms. ‘And now I will live to see them!’
Scott turned to me. ‘You see that? She doesn’t care if her son shacks up with another guy, she doesn’t care who that guy is, provided there are kids in the equation. I swear, all mothers are the same.’
‘You get this from your mother too?’ Tymen’s mother said.
‘Yes!’ Scott said with force. He turned back to me. ‘We just wanted to say thank you, Lady Emma. Tymen’s mom is going home in a few days, and then later in the year we’re going to visit her in the Netherlands.’ He shrugged. ‘I’m trying to get Cindy to come too.’
‘And I want you to come with someone too,’ Tymen’s mother said, patting Tymen on the arm. ‘You have been too long alone, Tyty.’
Tymen leaned down to speak to his mother; she was a good twenty centimetres shorter than him. ‘I will never bring anyone unless you promise to stop embarrassing me.’
‘Oh, pfft.’ She waved him down. ‘We are going to lunch, Emma. Would you like to come along?’
‘I would love to, but today I am visiting a close friend in the hospital,’ I said.
‘Well, you wish your friend the very best from us, and tell him that if he is touched by a snake, he is very lucky.’
‘He was already touched by a snake, and that’s the only reason he’s alive,’ I said.
‘I never thought of snakes as having this wonderful healing power,’ she said. ‘You have changed the way I see you.’
‘I’m not…’ I started, then gave up. ‘Thank you.’
They went out, waving cheerfully. I waved back.
‘Being a snake isn’t such a bad thing after all,’ I said as I went into my office to check my email before Simone came to take me to visit Michael.
‘If you start doing it all the time, can we put a ring on your tail to hold me?’ the stone said. ‘I hate being in your muscle tissue like that.’
‘How about a collar?’ I said. ‘I’ll talk to some of the other transforming Shen about how they work that. Maybe I could change to a snake, have a collar fitted and have a setting in it for you.’
‘You wouldn’t feel like you’re wearing a dog collar?’ the stone said.
‘Not if I don’t choose to. And if it’s more comfortable for you, so much the better.’
‘Gold or silver?’ the stone said.
‘I’m black—so silver.’
‘Platinum. Filigree.’ The stone was silent for a moment. ‘I like the direction this is going. How about something that goes over your head as well, like a filigree crown?’
‘Oh God, not too complicated. Just a collar will do.’
‘Do you mind if I work something out with the other stones? I think a few of them would like to thank you for stopping Six, and this could be a way of doing it.’
‘Six is still out there, and we haven’t had word from any of our agents.’
‘You’ll find him. So…Can I make this platinum collar for you?’
‘Go right ahead.’
‘It might take me a couple of days to find something suitably elegant for a stone as majestic as me.’
‘Oh, I’m sure it will.’
Simone wheeled Leo into my office an hour later. ‘Coming, Emma?’ she said.
‘Absolutely, just let me get my bag,’ I said, then stopped. ‘Uh, okay, no hands, no bag. Will Leo be all right to go to the Celestial Plane?’
‘Yeah, he’ll be fine. He’s already so damaged that it really can’t hurt him more,’ Simone said. ‘The Tiger wants to have a look at him while we’re in his medical centre.’
‘And I say the Tiger can keep his goddamn paws off me,’ Leo said.
‘He may be able to help,’ I said.
‘We’ll see,’ Leo said.
‘That was the most hands off me “we’ll see” I’ve ever heard,’ Simone said. She nodded to me. ‘Change, Emma, and I’ll take us.’
‘Can I stay behind?’ the stone said.
‘No way,’ Simone said. ‘Apparently there’s an opal there that hasn’t seen you in ages and wants to catch up with you.’
‘Oh,’ the stone said. ‘That’s different.’
‘Come on, Emma, chop chop,’ Simone said. ‘Snake, please.’
‘Can I take the normal big size? The small one is much harder,’ I said.
‘Big is okay,’ Simone said, and I changed.
‘That seems easier every time you do it,’ she said.
‘It is. It’s almost like second nature now. My chi is flowing again, and the stone says that the demon essence is a little less every time I do it.’
‘You should spend time at home as a snake then,’ Simone said. She came to me and touched the back of my neck. ‘I can touch you and give you hugs. We’ll put a beanbag and a ray lamp in your room.’
I was about to protest, then said, ‘Ray lamp?’
‘Real big warm one,’ she said.
‘Actually, that sounds pretty good.’
We landed outside the hospital wing of the Western Palace. The building was two-storey, built of the same red stone as the rest of the Palace. A desert garden with winding paths surrounded it, and a large hedge provided some privacy.
‘Leo passed out,’ I said.
‘That’s what used to happen to you all the time,’ Simone said. ‘We should get you some training in teleportation; you could probably do it.’
‘Your father was very excited the first time he saw the snake,’ I said. ‘I don’t know if you remember, but he was thrilled at how powerful it was, and thought we would even be able to touch.’
‘Did you try? To see if you could?’
I just looked at her.
‘Okay, stupid question.’
She wheeled Leo to the entrance. It looked very much like a small private hospital, with a blue vinyl floor and modern, bright furniture. A demon in the form of a young woman stood behind the reception desk.
‘They need a doorkeeper?’ I said.
‘All the wives come here to have their babies,’ Simone said. ‘And they visit each other. Sometimes too many at a time.’
‘I can imagine,’ I said.
We approached the reception desk, the demon watching me like a rabbit in headlights.
‘We’re here to see Michael,’ Simone said.
The demon checked the register on the computer, still looking at me now and then.
‘Don’t be afraid, I won’t hurt you,’ I said, and the demon jumped.
She turned back to Simone. ‘No Michael here.’
‘Uh…’ Simone began.
‘Three One Five,’ I said.
‘Oh, the good one,’ the demon said. She gestured to indicate the corridor behind her. ‘Upstairs, ward four.’
Leo shifted in the wheelchair and Simone moved to crouch in front of him, holding his hand. ‘Leo?’
Leo rubbed his hands over his face and blinked. ‘Huh?’
‘Take it easy, Leo, you just travelled to the Celestial Plane and the journey can be difficult sometimes.’
Leo put his hands on the armrests of the wheelchair and tried to stand. ‘What’s the matter with me?’
‘Stay, Leo,’ Simone said, pushing him back down. ‘You’re still disoriented from the journey. We’re visiting Michael. Stay in the chair.’
Leo fell back and stared blankly at her.
‘Just take it easy,’ I said.
‘Emma?’ He turned his head to see me and nearly leapt out of the chair. ‘Holy shit!’
‘Maybe I should put him back under,’ Simone said.
‘No, he’s coming around,’ I said. ‘Just sit back and relax, Leo, it’ll come to you. You’re safe.’
Leo looked from me to Simone, then relaxed. ‘Oh, we’re visiting Michael. Are we there?’
‘We’re there,’ Simone said. ‘Just sit back and we’ll take you up to see him.’
Leo nodded. ??
?Okay.’
We took the lift up to Michael’s ward and went in. It really did look just like a small private hospital; each bed was a standard hospital bed with an oxygen port and an IV stand. Michael was in a two-bed ward, next to the window, the other bed empty. He was watching the wall-mounted television when we went in, and turned it off when he saw us.
Simone went to him, put her hands on his shoulders and kissed his cheek, then turned. ‘This is Emma in serpent form. She can travel to the Plane as a snake.’
Michael focused on me and his eyebrows creased. ‘Really? Emma, that’s you?’
‘One hundred per cent me,’ I said.
Michael smiled at Leo. ‘Hello, old man. I hear you’re back. Welcome home.’
Leo wheeled himself closer to Michael and took his hand. ‘It’s good to see you, pal.’
Simone sat on the bed next to Michael. ‘So when are they letting you out?’
‘I think that’s mostly up to me,’ Michael said. ‘As soon as I can walk again, they’ll probably let me go.’
‘You can’t walk?’ I said.
‘It’s something to do with the brain damage,’ Michael said, gesturing towards a wheelchair at the side of the room. ‘I can get myself around in that thing, but I usually just change into a tiger and scare the staff. My tiger form seems to be okay, but they say that’s normal, because it was the human form that was damaged.’ Michael tapped Leo’s hand. ‘You should try turning into a lion, old man. You could probably walk in lion form.’
‘Is that so?’ Leo said. ‘I might give that a try.’
‘How are you generally though, Michael?’ I said. ‘You will be able to walk again, right?’
‘Yeah, I just need to get some practice in. They do physical therapy with me twice a day, and I’ll need to continue that once I’m out.’ He grimaced. ‘That means I have to stay here for a while. I need to keep up the therapy, otherwise I may lose the use of some of my muscles. Is that okay?’
‘Don’t worry, man. I can look after the girls while you recuperate,’ Leo said.
‘And as soon as you’re well enough, if you want to come back, you can,’ I said.
He relaxed. ‘That’s good to hear. So what happened after Three smacked me in the head? Obviously you got Leo back, and I heard you rescued Gold’s child. Did you destroy Six?’
‘No,’ I said. ‘We have agents working on it. We know what to look for, but it seems to have gone to ground with its little friends and we haven’t heard anything. We shut down its operation completely though; no more stones are going to be hurt.’
‘You’ll find it,’ Michael said. He raised one hand towards me. ‘Nice snake form. I like it.’
I bobbed my serpent head. ‘I thank you, Mr Tiger.’
‘Are you poisonous?’
I opened my mouth carefully, allowing the fangs to swing down without spitting any poison. Then I closed it again. ‘Cobra.’
‘Nice. Can you do the hood thing?’
‘I don’t know, I’ve never tried.’
He waited silently, watching me.
‘Oh, okay,’ I said, and raised my head. I concentrated, trying to make my neck wider.
‘Nothing,’ he said, disappointed. ‘You need to work on that.’
‘And you need to work on the walking,’ I said. ‘Let’s see who gets there first.’
‘First one there buys the other one—and these two,’ he said, indicating Leo and Simone, ‘dinner.’
‘It’s a deal,’ I said.
‘And now,’ he said, settling back into his pillows, ‘you’re going to tell me, in detail, everything that happened after we entered Hell. The last thing I remember is being driven in the van towards the Pits. Everything after that is a blank. So tell me what we did.’
‘You don’t remember any of it?’ Simone said.
‘Not a thing,’ Michael said.
‘Damn, I should have brought my notes,’ I said with amusement.
‘I can print them out at the nurses station if you like,’ the stone said.
‘No, Simone can prompt me if I forget any of it,’ I said. I looked around for a chair and sat next to Michael. ‘Here we go.’
CHAPTER 37
Four weeks later I attended the biggest wedding to be held on the Celestial Plane in a very long time. The Tiger had erected a stage for the ceremony on the desert plain outside the Western Palace, and it was decked with white and gold silk that billowed in the breeze. A stadium-sized LCD screen had been set up above the stage, allowing those further back to see the proceedings in detail. Tiered viewing stands for the guests had been built on either side of the road leading to the stage, and flagpoles lined the road, each of them bearing white and gold flags with the motif of the tiger. An honour guard of Horsemen on horseback lined the road on either side, facing inwards, each of them also bearing a lance topped with a tiger banner.
Simone was in a special box at the side of the stage, with other guests of honour. I was in serpent form, as small as I could make myself without discomfort, curled up under her chair.
The banners over our heads snapped in the strong breeze, and the horses’ bits jingled as they shook their heads and shuffled with excitement.
I nudged Simone’s foot with my nose. ‘You keep moving your feet together—I can’t see!’
‘Sorry,’ she said, and adjusted her position.
There was a fanfare of trumpets and drums, and a flash on the stage. The Jade Emperor had arrived. Everybody rose and, as one, fell to their knees, kowtowing three times to him. They remained kneeling with their heads on the floor until his voice rang out: ‘Rise.’
Everybody rose and sat. The large screen zoomed in on the face of the Jade Emperor, smiling benevolently. Er Lang stood glowering at his right shoulder.
‘Have you spoken to Er Lang recently?’ Simone whispered.
‘I just keep out of his way and he keeps out of mine,’ I said.
‘He should be trying to work with you.’
‘As long as I lack the attributes he requires, I don’t think he will.’
‘And I don’t think Emma will grow a penis just to appease his prejudice,’ the stone said.
Simone, Yue Gui and Martin all laughed quietly above me.
There was another fanfare of trumpets, and a few of the honour guards’ horses danced with excitement but remained in place. The riders quelled them and they stood again.
The Tiger and Rhonda rode up to the stage on horseback, each mounted on what appeared to be a Spanish horse: solid body, fine legs, thick, heavy neck and intelligent, large-eyed face. Rhonda’s was a striking palomino with a bright gold body and shining white mane and tail; the Tiger’s was pure white. Both horses had manes that nearly touched the ground, falling in long ripples from being plaited. The bridles and saddles appeared to be made of gold, and the bride and groom wore the traditional red Chinese wedding robes. The Tiger was in a mandarin jacket and pants of red silk, and Rhonda rode side-saddle in a traditional wedding dress of red silk jacket and long skirt, the jacket front elaborately embroidered with a phoenix and tiger in gold and silver thread.
Michael and Leo escorted them down the aisle, Michael on the right as a large tawny golden tiger and Leo on the left as a black lion. Each was about twice the size of the natural animal, their shoulders nearly the same height as the horses. Their presence had absolutely no effect on either the horses the couple were riding or on the guards’ mounts—an impressive display of training.
‘Leo nearly couldn’t manage it. He only just got it yesterday,’ Simone said.
‘I’m glad,’ Martin said. ‘It is good to see him able to walk without aid.’
The couple reached the stage and dismounted at the bottom of the stairs, passing the horses to a couple of the Tiger’s sons, who led them away. They walked side by side up the stairs, flanked by Leo and Michael, and kowtowed to the Jade Emperor. Leo and Michael went to one side and bowed as animals. Demon servants came forward to assist them with crutches and a wheelcha
ir, and they changed back to human.
‘Michael says that with hard physical therapy he should be walking in a couple of weeks,’ Simone said.
‘That is also good to hear,’ Martin said.
‘They’re breaking with tradition: her face isn’t covered,’ Yue Gui said.
‘They’re remarrying so it doesn’t really matter,’ Martin said.
‘The big ceremony is more for crowning her as Empress of the West,’ Simone said.
‘Oh, shit,’ I said softly, and Simone giggled. She’d heard me.
‘We must ensure that the ceremony to wed and crown Emma is much larger,’ Yue Gui said with enthusiasm. ‘With martial arts demonstrations. Mass ones. And dancing. An orchestra. A mix of East and West, martial arts, music, dancing—it must be bigger.’
‘Oh, shit,’ I said, even more softly, and Simone laughed louder, struggling to hold it in.
The Tiger and Rhonda moved to stand in front of the Jade Emperor. He sat on a throne that had been prepared for him on a raised dais at the back of the stage, and they knelt before him. Demon servants brought a tray of teacups, and each of them served the Jade Emperor in turn. Then they rose, and the Tiger sat on a smaller throne to the right of the Jade Emperor.
Oh, look, they’re facing south, Jade said into my head.
‘Tell Jade thank you very much for reminding me,’ I whispered to the stone.
You are most welcome, ma’am. I hope you can see okay, because in time this will be you.
‘Damn, everybody really hates me today,’ I said softly.
Rhonda knelt before the Tiger and served him tea. He took the teacup, sipped from it, then returned it to the tray. She passed the tray to a demon, and took her seat on a throne to the right of the Tiger’s. They were officially married.
The Tiger gestured to the demon, and the demon handed him the tray of teacups. He rose, carrying the tray, and turned to kneel in front of Rhonda. The crowd gasped.
Rhonda stared at the Tiger, confused. He said something that wasn’t picked up by the microphones and she shook her head. He pushed the tray towards her and she reluctantly took a teacup, sipped from it, and returned it to the tray.
There was a quiet roar of discussion within the crowd.