“Glad you enjoyed it.” He only barely resisted the urge to fist his cock a few times. There was something about her that removed his normal inhibitions. He wanted to fuck her tits, wanted to come all over her pretty skin, wanted to eat her again. He wanted everything, and that rawness made him shake a bit.
“Your cock is hard again. You gonna do something with it?”
“Turn over.”
She moaned then and flipped to her belly. “Condoms in my pocket.”
He lay across her back, sliding his cock between the cheeks of her ass while he reached the top drawer of his nightstand. “I’ve got it.”
Unable to resist, he pressed a kiss to her back before getting to his knees and rolling the condom on.
“Ass up, Erin. I’m going to fuck you from behind.” The more he gave voice to his desires, the better it felt. The easier it became.
She got to her knees, her upper body still on the bed. She was going to kill him, but it’d be worth it. The long line of her spine led him past the sweet, high cheeks of her ass and down to her pussy. Her thighs glistened with her honey as the scent of her hung in the room.
He nudged the head of his cock down the line of her ass, the heat of her cunt guiding him as he pressed into her body in one hard thrust.
Her inner walls fluttered around his cock, but it was the soft sigh she made when he seated himself completely that nearly did him in.
“More.” She pressed against him, her ass fitting in the cradle of his hips.
So he gave her what she asked for. Hard and a bit rough. Increasing his speed, he grabbed her hips to hold her in position, placing her just the way he wanted as he fucked into her body with deep, feral digs of his cock.
She received him, rolling her hips to take him as deeply as she could each time he thrust. The sounds she made buffeted him, soft moans, whimpers of entreaty—all because he’d made her feel that way. He’d controlled her responses.
The embrace of her pussy intoxicated him, drew climax closer each time he pushed into her body and the wet clasp of her took him in.
“You feel so fucking good.” He said it because it was true. He wasn’t sure he wanted it to be, but it was.
“Yes. God, you do too.”
He was surprised, although he shouldn’t have been, when she slid a hand up to finger her clit as he fucked her. Goddamn, she was sexy.
Her movements were less rhythmic as she met his thrusts, and he knew her orgasm must be close. Her pussy spasmed around him as she caught her breath and gave a strangled cry.
It was all too much. He threw his head back and fucked her, loving the way his balls slapped her cunt and then drew against him, loving the wet sounds of fucking, loving her sighs and moans.
When he came, he tasted it on his tongue, felt it in his scalp and his toes as wave after wave of climax took him away and he let it.
3
Erin drank a bottle of water and tried to get into the right headspace for the show. After a fairly sleepless night, she still had to be up and out for the early shift at the coffee shop attached to her older brother’s tattoo parlor.
She’d left Todd’s place after several more hours of wicked, mind bendingly hot sex. He’d blushed when she invited him to the show, and mumbled something about not being sure if he’d be able to make it.
The man was hard to pin down. He was ridiculously sexy and he totally owned it when he wanted to. The trouble was, Erin wasn’t sure he really wanted to. While they were naked and sweaty he seemed totally behind the idea of letting his freak flag fly, but afterward he’d distanced himself from her again.
Whatever. She knew who she was and what she was. There was no escaping it even if she wanted to. And she didn’t. If Todd Keenan wanted a woman comfortable with her sexuality, he’d come back.
He pushed his way to the front, near the stage, and watched her. She was magic up there. Unexpected and unique. Total rockstar in a short skirt with fishnets and black Docs. Instead of a T-shirt she wore a vest with no bra beneath. He highly approved.
His cock throbbed in time with the music as his eyes caught a trail of glistening sweat between the exposed curve of her breasts.
He shouldn’t be there. He’d argued with himself even as he’d driven through downtown on his way to the club. He was turning into someone he didn’t recognize. He’d begun to lose hold on what he’d considered normal.
That morning he’d woken up with a sex hangover. He’d never actually had a sex hangover before, and he liked it. He loved the way his muscles hurt in all the right places. Loved the musky scent on his sheets and the way his skin smelled like Erin.
Never, never had he felt so charged after sex. And it wasn’t as if he hated sex. He loved it and he had it often with the women he dated. Just not the kind of sex he’d had with Erin. He’d never let the words bubbling in the back of his brain free, much less actually done some of the things he’d wanted to. His dates were sweet and feminine. He couldn’t imagine what any of them would have done if he’d yanked them by the hair and jammed his cock, still gleaming with their pussy juices, down their throats. And, god help him, he wanted more. And he shouldn’t. Real men . . . good men didn’t want that sort of sex. Right?
Because Erin had looked up at him and licked her lips after she made him come yet again with her mouth. She wasn’t fragile, wasn’t sweet. She was hot and wet and demanding in bed. She made him laugh too.
Combing his fingers through his hair, he continued to watch her, enthralled by the puzzle of this woman fate had shoved into his life.
“Your cop is here,” Adrian said in her ear as they finished up.
She looked down and saw him there, looking sexy and totally out of place. Smiling, she knelt and beckoned him closer.
“You made it.”
“Yeah. You were . . . wow. I don’t know what I expected, but you’re a really good bass player.”
His compliment made her warm inside. “Thanks. Are you busy or can you hang out for about half an hour? I have to put this all away.”
He took a deep breath and she wondered if he’d beg off. Instead he nodded slowly. “I’ll get a drink. Come get me when you’re done. I can drive you home if you’d like. Or can I help?”
“I’ll get you when we’re done. It’ll be quicker if we do it.”
They broke everything down and loaded it into the van. She ran into the joke of a dressing room and toweled off a bit, trying to clean up. Changed her top, ignored Adrian and the other guys’ curious looks and sarcastic comments and headed out into the bar, where he waited.
“Hey.”
He turned and devoured her with his eyes.
“Hi. I’m parked out back.”
“We can walk through backstage then. There’s a door out there.”
The hand he put at her back burned against the sliver of bare skin between her shirt and skirt.
“I like the miniskirt,” he murmured as they started through the alley toward the pay lot at the other end.
“I’m always hesitant about wearing them on stage so perverts can’t look up and see my pussy. But the way this stage is set up and where I stand, it’s safe.”
He turned and she found herself pressed against the wall adjacent to the army/navy surplus store, his body caging hers.
“I don’t think you’re safe now.”
Her heart pounded and honey flowed into the well of her pussy. She moved from side to side across his chest, loving the feel of her nipples against his muscles.
“Good. But I smell like cigarettes and sweat. Or is that part of what you like? Does it get you off that I’m dirty just now?”
He paused, swallowing a groan. She’d gotten to him. She wanted more.
“Do you, Todd? Do you like it when I’m this way? Just for you. Waiting and wet for your cock?”
“I do.” He whispered it, the words pulled from him taut and reluctant but genuine nonetheless. “I like that you smell like a woman who needs to be fucked.”
Her mouth
opened and she had to gulp in air before replying. “Yes. Oh, god, yes, I do. Are you the man to do it? Right here? Right now? Have you ever fucked a woman against a wall when you could get caught at any moment, Todd?”
“You’re bad for my self-control, Erin. You make me want things I shouldn’t want.”
His lips hovered just above hers; she saw the need etched into his features as his pupils nearly swallowed his eyes.
“Or maybe I make you want things you’ve always wanted and only now have a safe place to express them,” she challenged. “Why shouldn’t you want them? Why shouldn’t you get off on what gets you off?”
He pulled out a condom and tore it open with his teeth. One-handed, he rolled it on after he’d freed his cock, and then ripped a hole in the crotch of her fishnets, shoving her panties aside.
He froze a moment, his fingers buried in her pussy. “Wet. Fuck.”
“That’s the idea. Isn’t it?” Erin laughed and then groaned as his middle finger slid from her cunt and drew upward to circle her clit, spreading her lube around it.
He looked from side to side, checking to be sure they were alone before stepping closer. She hiked one leg up over his thigh and all the air whooshed from her as he thrust into her cunt.
The pace he set was hard and fast, and his lips found the sensitive place just below her ear. One hand held up her thigh, fingers reaching to brush against her clit from behind. The other burrowed under her shirt, finding a nipple. He pinched and then tugged the ring.
“Yes. Fuck me, Todd. Out here, where anyone could find us at any moment. Does it feel good deep inside my cunt? Does it feel good knowing I got wet the instant I saw you tonight?” She caught the lobe of the ear she’d been whispering in between her teeth for a moment as he groaned.
“Yes. God help me, yes, it does.”
Erin couldn’t tell if the anguish in his voice was because he was nearly ready to come or if he was fighting the moment. She didn’t want to know right then.
All she wanted was to feel him inside her.
Todd could not fucking believe he had his cock in a woman in public! And it felt good, damn it. He felt alive and turned on. Erin was his own personal siren.
He licked the column of her neck, taking in the salt of her skin as her honey seeped down his cock to his balls. The woman was on fire. Need throbbed inside him, making his skin feel too tight over his bones. Images flashed through his mind; he wanted to hold her wrists high against the scrape of the wall at her back, wanted to sink his teeth into her shoulder.
She began to writhe against him, grinding her swollen clit against his fingers. He heard her breath catch and a soft moan as she came around his cock, squeezing him with those muscles until he wanted to weep with how good it felt.
Instead it was as if all his organs shot out his cock when he came, pinning her to the wall as she quietly sobbed her own release.
Catching his breath, he rested his forehead on her chest as he pulled out, tied off the condom and tucked his cock back into his pants.
He didn’t know what to say, but when he looked into her face, she winked and leaned in for a quick kiss. “That was incredibly hot.”
He shook his head and tugged her toward his car, disposing of the condom in a nearby Dumpster, wondering what magic she possessed to make him want so very much the things he should not.
4
For the next two months their contact remained at a fever pitch. Any time they were alone for more than five minutes, they had sex.
Standing up, sitting down, on the kitchen table, on the stairs at her place, in the shower. He was on fire for her, and the freedom made his blood sing. Erin was good for him in so many ways. He truly believed it. Enjoyed her company, loved being around her. At the same time, he battled his guilt and shame over his desires and he didn’t quite know what to do about it. He was raised to believe men didn’t harm women, even if the woman liked it. Raised to see that the union between the genders was about gentleness and kindness, and when those dark urges of his had bubbled up before, he’d tamped them down.
Only, with Erin, those urges were encouraged. She reveled in them, and in doing so, he found himself craving more. He distrusted the rawness in that, distrusted his behavior, because it was far from what he’d been led to believe was good and true.
On one hand, when he was with her, he felt as if he were coming into his own, growing into the man he wanted so badly to be. But at the same time, he struggled with the belief that the man he wanted to be was wrong. If she made him feel that way, didn’t that make her bad for him? In the end, feeling good also felt bad, and who the hell was he going to talk to about it? Not his parents, that was for sure. His friends? How would he broach that he liked to leave little bite marks on her shoulder so he could look at them while he fucked her from behind? If it wasn’t shameful, why would he be afraid to talk about it?
One afternoon, at lunch with some friends, he’d seen her come into the small restaurant and he lifted a hand. His stomach warmed at the sight of her.
She saw and smiled, approaching them.
“Who the hell is that?” Ron Dyson, his old partner, mumbled. Dyson was old school. A lifelong beat cop, a man in his early sixties with very set opinions. A good cop, great instincts, but not the most open-minded man around.
“Hi, Officer Keenan. What’s doin’?”
Todd couldn’t help but return her smile. She looked so beautiful there, her dreads back in a bandana, her long, lithe body wrapped in some funky blue dress thing.
“Just having lunch.” He wondered if he should invite her to sit down. Wondered if their worlds could ever accommodate each other. “And you?”
“I’m picking up a to-go order. I’ll see you later. Have a good day.”
She grabbed several large bags and waved as she left with another woman and headed up the block. He knew her older brother’s tattoo shop and the adjoining coffee bar she ran weren’t very far away.
“Um, she’s not your usual type. Where’d you meet her? Did you arrest her or something?” Ron snickered.
“She’s a friend. She lives a few doors down. Her name is Erin.”
“Don’t get your boxers in a bunch. I was just askin’. It’s not like I thought you were marrying her or anything.”
Todd looked up the street and back to his friends, sighing.
Erin knew something was up when she got home from a show and he’d left a note asking for her to come over. She showered quickly and changed before going to his place.
Rolling her eyes inwardly at the music he played, she plopped down on his couch. The scent of pizza hung in the air.
She smiled her thanks when he handed her a plate with two pieces of hot, melty pie. “You’re a god. A genius in bed and pizza too. Why are you single anyway?”
He looked at her, surprised.
“I’m not kidding. I’m curious. You’re like, incredibly, unbelievably handsome. You have a steady job. You’re responsible. You make sure I come before you do. You have a good car. You’re intelligent, funny when you’re not trying to pretend you don’t get off on the wild sex we have, and you’re hot.”
“I don’t know how to talk to you.” He scrubbed his hands over his face.
“Why do you make simple things so complicated? Maybe you should stop worrying so much and just talk to me. Be yourself. Why don’t you tell me about yourself? We’ve been, um, dating for a few months now, but you don’t talk about yourself much.”
He took a bite of pizza and watched her carefully. “Not much to tell. Seattle born and bred. Being a cop runs in the family. My dad, both brothers and my sister are cops. I’m single because I broke off an engagement about a year and a half ago. I’m dating around right now. It’s hard to find a woman who accepts the whole cop’s wife thing.”
Erin looked at him and thought over what she’d heard.
“Maybe you’re looking in the wrong place.”
“What do you mean?” He shifted uncomfortably. “Look, Erin, I l
ike you and all, but this . . . thing between us is just fun. No of fense but we’re not suited at all.”
It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did. He was delusional. “Bullshit.” She finished the first slice and leaned back. “I’m not asking you to marry me or anything. But we connect, Todd Keenan. You spend so much time trying to just be fucking normal, you get tripped up in it. Just be yourself. Yes, you like dirty talk. You’re kinky, big deal. Why do you fight so hard against what you seem to really like? I like it, I’m willing. You come hard. Why do you deny yourself this way?”
“It’s not who I am!” He stood and stormed into the kitchen. She heard the plate clatter and she wiped her mouth.
“Is it so fucking awful? It’s not like you want to wear a chicken suit while you fuck someone wrapped in plastic wrap or something. You don’t, do you?” She laughed but stopped when he growled and stomped back into the living room.
“It’s not who I am, damn you! Look, it’s you and me. I’m not like this with other women. I’m gentle and the sex is nice. I don’t know what comes over me when you’re near. It’s not right. I wasn’t . . . I’m not supposed to like it.”
She shrugged. What else could she do? Beg him to be who he was? When he thought being who he was, who she was, made them some kind of freaks? “The last thing I want to do is force you into talking dirty and begging me to suck your cock with my fingers in your ass, stroking your prostate.”
He winced and petty satisfaction settled in. He liked it. Got off on it. And it was her fault he was so damned repressed he hated himself over it?
She grabbed her bag. “I’ll spare you the it was fun talk and you can spare me the it’s not you, it’s me stuff. Okay?” Hesitating, she sighed and tiptoed up to kiss him quickly. “I hope you find a place in your life when you can let go and be happy. But I’m not a dirty secret. I’m not bad and wrong for being comfortable with myself, and I won’t let you make me feel that way.”
He slammed a hand against the wall next to her and then grabbed her around the waist, pulling her flush against his body. “Damn it, Erin, I don’t lose control. I’m a controlled man. I make good choices. I don’t fuck women against alley walls. It’s off-putting.”