CHAPTER XXXV. AN AWKWARD DINNER-PARTY
When the reader is informed that Lady Eleanor had not found a fittingmoment to communicate to the Knight respecting Forester, nor had Helensummoned courage to reveal the circumstances of their late interview,it may be imagined that the dinner itself was as awkward a thing as needbe. It was, throughout, a game of cross purposes, in which Darcy alonewas not a player, and therefore more puzzled than the rest, at theconstraint and reserve of his companions, whose efforts at conversationwere either mere unmeaning commonplaces, or half-concealed retorts toinferred allusions.
However quick to perceive, Darcy was too well versed in the tactics ofsociety to seem conscious of this, and merely redoubled his effortsto interest and amuse. Never had his entertaining qualities less ofsuccess. He could scarcely obtain any acknowledgment from his hearers;and stores of pleasantry, poured out in rich profusion, were listened towith a coldness bordering upon apathy.
He tried to interest them by talking over the necessity of their speedyremoval to the capital, where, for the advantage of daily consultation,Bicknell desired the Knight's presence. He spoke of the approachingjourney to the West, for the trial itself; he talked of Lionel, of Daly,of their late campaigns; in fact, he touched on everything, hopingby some passing gleam of interest to detect a clew to their secretthoughts. To no avail. They listened with decorous attention, but nosigns of eagerness or pleasure marked their features; and when Foresterrose to take his leave, it was full an hour and a half before his usualtime of going.
"Now for it, Eleanor," said the Knight, as Helen soon after quitted theroom; "what's your secret, for all this mystery must mean something?Nay, don't look so in-penetrable, my dear; you'll never persuade anyman who displayed all his agreeability to so little purpose, that hishearers had not a hidden source of preoccupation to account for theirindifference. What is it, then?"
"I am really myself in the dark, without my conjectures have reason,and that Lord Wallincourt may have renewed to Helen the proposal he oncemade her, and with the same fortune."
"Renewed--proposal!"
"Yes, my dear Darcy, it was a secret I had intended to have told youthis very day, and went for the very purpose of doing so, when I foundyou engaged with Bicknell's letters and advices, and scrupled to breakin upon your occupied thoughts. Captain Forester did seek Helen'saffections, and was refused; and I now suspect Lord Wallincourt may havehad a similar reverse."
"This last is, however, mere guess," said Darcy.
"No more. Of the former Helen herself told me; she frankly acknowledgedthat her affections were disengaged, but that he had not touched them.It would seem that he was deeper in love than she gave him credit for.His whole adventure as a Volunteer sprang out of this rejected suit, andhigher fortunes have not changed his purpose."
"Then Helen did not care for him?"
"That she did not once, I am quite certain; that she does not now, isnot so sure. But I know that even if she were to do so, the disparity ofcondition would be an insurmountable barrier to her assent."
Darcy walked up and down with a troubled and anxious air, and at lengthsaid,--
"Thus is it that the pride we teach our children, as the defenceagainst low motives and mean actions, displays its false and treacherousprinciples; and all our flimsy philosophy is based less on theaffections of the human heart than on certain conventional usages wehave invented for our own enslavement. There is but one code of rightand wrong, Eleanor, and that one neither recognizes the artificialdistinctions of grade, nor makes a virtue of the self-denial; that is amere offering to worldly pride."
"You would scarcely have our daughter accept an alliance with a housethat disdains our connection?" said Lady Eleanor, proudly.
"Not, certainly, when the consideration had been once brought before hermind. It would then be but a compromise with principle. But why shouldshe have ever learned the lesson? Why need she have been taught tomingle notions of worldly position and aggrandizement with the emotionsof her heart? It was enough--it should have been enough--that hisrank and position were nearly her own, not to trifle with feelingsimmeasurably higher and holier than these distinctions suggest."
"But the world, my dear Darcy; the world would say--"
"The world would say, Eleanor, that her refusal was perfectly right;and if the world's judgments were purer, they might be a source ofconsolation against the year-long bitterness of a sinking heart. Well,well!" said he, with a sigh, "I would hope that her heart is free: goto her, Eleanor,--learn the truth, and if there be the least germ ofaffection there, I will speak to Wallincourt to-morrow, and tell him toleave us. These half-kindled embers are the slow poison of many a noblenature, and need but daily intercourse to make them deadly."
While Lady Eleanor retired to communicate with her daughter, the Knightpaced the little chamber in moody reverie. As he passed and repassedbefore the window, he suddenly perceived the shadow of a man's figureas he stood beside a rock near the beach. Such an apparition was strangeenough to excite curiosity in a quiet, remote spot, where the fewinhabitants retired to rest at sunset. Darcy therefore opened thewindow, and moved towards him; but ere he had gone many paces, he wasaddressed by Forester's voice,--"I was about to pay you a visit, Knight,and only waited till I saw you alone."
"Let us stroll along the sands, then," said Darcy; "the night isdelicious." And so saying, he drew his arm within Forester's, and walkedalong at his side.
"I have been thinking," said Forester, in a low, sad accent,--"I havebeen thinking over the advice you lately gave me; and although I ownat the time it scarcely chimed in with my own notions, now the moreI reflect upon it the more plausible does it seem. I have lived longenough out of fashionable life to make the return to it anything but apleasure; for politics I have neither talent nor temper; and soldiering,if it does not satisfy every condition of my ambition, offers more to mycapacity and my hopes than any other career."
"I would that you were more enthusiastic in the cause," said Darcy, whowas struck by the deep depression of his manner; "I would that I saw youembrace the career more from a profound seuse of duty and devotion, thanas a 'pis aller.'"
"Such it is," sighed Forester; and his arm trembled within Darcy's ashe spoke. "I own it frankly, save in actual conflict itself, I have nomilitary ardor in my nature. I accept the road in life, because one musttake some path."
"Then, if this be so," said Darcy, "I recall my counsels. I love theservice, and you also, too well to wish for such a _mesalliance_; no,campaigning will never do with a spirit that is merely not averse.Return to London, consult your relative, Lord Castlereagh,--I seeyou smile at my recommendation of him, but I have learned to read hischaracter very differently from what I once did. I can see now, thathowever the tortuous course of a difficult policy may have condemned himto stratagems wherein he was an agent,--often an unwilling one,--thathis nature is eminently chivalrous and noble. His education and hisprejudices have made him less rash than we, in our nationality, liketo pardon, but the honor of the empire lies next his heart Politicalprofligacy, like any other, may be leniently dealt with while it isfashionable; but there are minds that never permit themselves to beenslaved by fashion, when once they have gained a consciousness of theirown power: such is his. He is already beyond it; and ere many yearsroll over, he will be equally beyond his competitors too. And now toyourself. Let him be your guide. Once launched in public life, itsinterests will soon make themselves felt, and you are young enough to beplastic. I know that every man's early years, particularly those whoare the most favored by fortune, have their clouds and dark shadows. Youmust not seek an exemption from the common lot; remember how much youhave to be grateful for; think of the advantages for which others strivea life long, and never reach,-all yours, at the very outset; and then,if there be some sore spots, some secret sorrows under all, take myadvice and keep them for your own heart. Confessions are admirablethings for old ladies, who like the petty martyrdom of small sufferings,but men should be made of sterner st
uff. There is a high pride inbearing one's load alone; don't forget that."
Forester felt that if the Knight had read his inmost feelings, hiscounsel could not have been more directly addressed to his condition; hehad, indeed, a secret sorrow, and one which threw its gloom over all hisprosperity. He listened attentively to Darcy's reasonings, and followedhim, as in the full sincerity of his nature he opened up the history ofhis own life, now commenting on the circumstances of good fortune, nowadverting to the mischances which had befallen him. Never had the genialkindness of the old man appeared more amiable. The just judgments,the high and honorable sentiments, not shaken by what he had seen ofingratitude and wrong, but hopefully maintained and upheld, the singularmodesty of his character, were all charms that won more and more uponForester; and when, after a _tete-a-tete_ prolonged till late in thenight, they parted, Forester's muttered ejaculation was, "Would that Iwere his son!"
"It is as I guessed," said Lady Eleanor, when the Knight re-entered thechamber; "Helen has refused him. I could not press her on the reasons,nor ask whether her heart approved all that her head determined. But sheseemed calm and tranquil; and if I were to pronounce from appearance, Ishould say that the rejection has not cost her deeply."
"How happy you have made me, Eleanor!" exclaimed Darcy, joyfully; "forwhile, perhaps, there is nothing in this world I should like better thanto see such a man my son-in-law, there is no misery I would not preferto witnessing my child's affections engaged where any sense of duty orpride rendered the engagement hopeless. Now, the case is this: Helen canafford to be frank and sisterly towards the poor fellow, who really didlove her, and after a few days he leaves us."
"I thought he would go to-morrow," said Lady Eleanor, somewhatanxiously.
"No; I half hinted to him something of the kind, but he seemed bent onaccompanying me to the West, and really I did not know how to say nay."
Lady Eleanor appeared not quite satisfied with an arrangement thatpromised a continuation of restraint, if not of positive difficulty,but made no remark about it, and turned the conversation on theirapproaching removal to Dublin.