Conall piped up, “I thought Daddy was the strongest man in the world.”
“With magic,” Matthew informed him very matter-of-factly, “but physically, Uncle Dorian is probably the strongest.”
“If Mommy and Daddy fought who do you think would win?” Conall asked immediately. Trust a child to ask the most embarrassing question possible. I gave Penny a sheepish grin.
Matthew thought the question over seriously for a second, “Probably Dad, there isn’t much you can do about magic. He could set her on fire or something before she ever got close to him.”
“Hmmph! Shows how little you know!” Moira said jumping in. “Mommies have a secret weapon. It doesn’t matter how powerful Daddy is, she can always beat him.” Penelope was looking at me now with questions in her eyes. Clearly she was wondering if I had put any strange ideas into our daughter’s head. I immediately shook my head, ‘no’.
Matthew was curious now, “What secret weapon?”
His sister looked down her nose at him, perfecting her imperious gaze, “I heard the maids talking about it the other day, when they didn’t think I was listening. Ladies have something that their husbands can’t live without.”
“What?” asked Conall.
“I’m not sure what it is, but it’s called a p… mmmph!?” Moira’s words were cut off suddenly, as Penny’s hand covered her mouth.
“That’s enough for now, children. Boys help your father clear away the dishes. Moira come with me… we need to talk a bit,” Penny said with brisk efficiency. Rising from the table, she led her daughter away by the hand.
I couldn’t help but grin as they left, which of course put Matthew’s curiosity on high alert. He knew well that something had been left unsaid. “What’s wrong with them?” he asked me.
I picked up the egg I had put aside earlier and ate it carefully while considering my son’s question. After a moment I answered, “I’ll explain later.”
“But Dad…!” he whined.
“Don’t complain or you’ll be clearing dishes by yourself,” I told him. He shut up after that.
***
The day passed quickly, and for much of it I had little to do, other than look good and be seen. Over the years I had practiced my smile for many such occasions, and now it seemed almost as genuine as my real smile, although I was sure my close friends could still tell the difference.
One small thing I noticed was that all of the Knights of Stone seemed to be dressed in their full armor, with weapons at the ready, and the sober looks of men who hadn’t had a drop to drink. Generally this wouldn’t have been something I’d have noticed, but given my discussion with Dorian and Cyhan the day before, I’d been paying close attention. None of my knights were particularly prone to drunkenness, but on a holiday you could expect that some would be partaking of the copious amounts of wine and ale that were flowing.
I made mention of the fact at the first opportunity, which happened to be late in the afternoon. Both Dorian and Cyhan had been carefully avoiding me. I caught up with Cyhan in the hall, after having deliberately tracked him down. It’s rather hard to avoid a man who can pinpoint your location within a mile or two. “I notice all the knights seem to be exceedingly sober,” I said, as I approached him from behind.
He gave no sign of being startled, but calmly turned to face me, “As are you, my lord.”
“I prefer to wait until dinner before I begin drinking.”
“It seems the men are inclined to follow your example,” he responded adroitly.
I had to admire his reserve, but I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction. “Don’t give me that horse-shit. Not a one of them has neglected to don armor and bear arms today.”
The veteran warrior’s face showed nothing. “The armor you crafted for your knights is exceeding comfortable, my lord, indeed I find it more comfortable than fancy garb and binding velvet doublets. I am not surprised that my brother knights deem it so as well.”
I leaned in close to stare him directly in the eye. “You ignored my explicit orders and kept them all on duty today.”
Cyhan stared unflinchingly back, though he remained silent.
“Answer me!” I barked. I had been irritated before, but I was downright cross now, after dealing with his taciturn manner.
“You didn’t ask a question, my lord.”
I could almost see the twinkle in his eye as he replied. The bastard is enjoying this! I realized immediately. “You deliberately ignored my orders regarding the men and today’s holiday… didn’t you?”
“Yes I did, Your Excellency,” he said with alacrity.
“Why?”
“I did not wish to violate my oath.”
I exhaled explosively, “What?! What oath?”
Squaring his shoulders and standing a bit straighter, Cyhan responded, “When you took me into your service, my lord. You made me swear to you, that if ever my conscience conflicted with my other oaths of service, I was to use my own judgment.”
That took me aback for a moment. I had indeed insisted on exactly that when I had taken his oath of service. Taking a deep breath, I thought for a moment before responding, “How long have you been in my service Cyhan?”
“A bit over seven years now.”
“And yet I’ve known you even longer than that. You even attempted to kill me once,” I said slowly.
“Yes, Your Excellency,” he agreed, before adding, “I’d have succeeded too, if it hadn’t been for Sir Dorian.”
I ignored the blunt admission of his killing intent, and went on, “In all that time, I don’t think I’ve ever been quite as angry with you as I am right now,” I stated, with a calmness that belied my inner agitation.
The older warrior thought carefully before replying, “I think perhaps you’ve forgotten the day that you buried me up to my neck in the earth, for trying to force you to take a longer road.” He was dead serious as he relayed the information.
The man was incorrigible, and I couldn’t maintain my angry facade any longer. It just wasn’t possible. It would have been easier, and probably more productive, to have been angry with a stone wall. “I’m beginning to see why you’ve never been married,” I said acerbically. Sarcasm had ever been my refuge when there was nothing better to be said or done. “I expect to see you raising a glass during the toast this evening, at the very least.”
He bowed respectfully. “As you wish, my lord.”
I resisted the urge to use my power to knock him down as I walked away. Such antics were beneath my station. Like hell they are! I thought impulsively. I just need something more subtle. I amused myself by thinking of the possibilities as I walked. Unfortunately nothing appropriate and suitably untraceable came to mind.
“Why am I surrounded by so many insubordinate retainers?” I wondered aloud.
Walter Prathion appeared without warning, just a few feet away. “Perhaps because you encourage independence and initiative among your vassals, and even among your servants,” he said, in answer to my question.
My shields doubled in strength almost without thought, and I fought the reflex to pin my fellow wizard to the wall as well. “Son of a bitch!” I exclaimed loudly, “What are you doing, Walter? I might’ve killed you, you startled me so!”
The older wizard looked down a bit sheepishly, “I don’t really like the crowds on holidays. I went invisible to avoid having to deal with a crowd of enthusiastic well-wishers just a bit ago, and you sort of happened by shortly thereafter.”
“Bull,” I said immediately. “You made yourself invisible to magesight as well.”
“I felt you coming, and decided that rather than reveal myself, it would be easier to completely shield myself and wait for you to leave,” he explained.
If it had been anyone else, I might have doubted him, but Walter had a bit of shyness in him that I had learned to accept over the years. “I think my heart would be in better shape if you had stuck to your original plan, and waited for me to leave.”
 
; The mild mannered wizard smiled at me, “Your conversation was too interesting to avoid commenting. I also felt a bit guilty for overhearing it without your knowledge. I thought privately letting you know I had been listening, might be the best course. I hope you will accept my apologies, my liege.”
I had run out of energy to spend on being annoyed with people, not to mention I still felt bad about my last conversation with his daughter. I had been painfully blunt. “Forget about it,” I advised him. “How is Elaine? I haven’t seen her in a day or so.”
Walter grimaced, “She’s been extremely out of sorts for the past few days. I’ve never seen her quite so temperamental before.”
“I’m sure she’ll get better,” I reassured him, with a confidence I didn’t truly feel. I felt a twinge of guilt for not telling him about our conversation, but I had promised Elaine that the matter would remain between the two of us. She might come to terms with her embarrassment if I didn’t create any additional humiliation for her. That was my hope anyway.
The other wizard sighed, “Perhaps… until she gets upset again. Women are a chaotic mystery, especially at her age.”
I thought about my own daughters. Moira seemed like an utter angel at her current age. Surely the same wouldn’t happen to her? Surely not, I thought to myself, but I felt a bit of doubt on that account.
Chapter 19
That evening arrived after a day that had gone on too long. Though I had started the day with every intention of trying to enjoy the festive atmosphere, the underlying reason for the celebration still bothered my conscience. I was looking forward to the wine that would come with the feast. Once we were past the toast itself, I could relax and try to pretend that it was simply another holiday. The alcohol would be a welcome way to take the edge off of my nerves.
The hall itself was full to bursting with people. When we had restored the castle, I had had it built with what seemed to be more than enough room, but on days such as this one, it felt cramped. Penny often told me that this was not such a bad thing. If it were large enough for everyone on big holidays, then it would seem overlarge the rest of the year. She also subscribed to the notion that not being ‘quite’ big enough to hold everyone, made a holiday feel more special. Something about the feeling of being elbow to elbow with everyone.
I was pretty sure she was just plain wrong. The damn place needed to be a bit bigger. As soon as you enlarge it more people will show up and it will be too small again, I thought to myself pessimistically.
The walls were bedecked with flowers and garlands, and the stone floors had been swept and fresh straw and fragrant grasses scattered, to give the hall a pleasant smell. Everything seemed bright and beautiful, which seemed an ironic contrast to the fact that we were, in fact, celebrating an epic slaughter. It’s a good thing I chose the spring to do my butchery. We didn’t have a good holiday for this time of year before that, I thought bitterly to myself.
A hand on my arm broke me from my reverie. Glancing over I saw Penny’s eyes on me. She knew my moods better than anyone. Without a word, her touch and knowing look communicated her sympathy to me, along with a gentle message to ‘snap out of it’. Her empathy had limits; if I continued to sulk she’d give me hell later.
I gave her my best smile and rose from my seat, doing my best to project warmth and cheer to all whose eyes were now fixed firmly upon me. “I would like to thank you all for your efforts to make this a happy occasion,” I said loudly, addressing the entire room. “As you know we have more to worry about this year than we have in years past, but I am confident that if we continue to work together, we will come through this crisis just as we did the event that led to this celebration. Before we begin the feasting and drinking, we will have our traditional first toast, to be given this year by our good Lady Rose, at her request. If the servers will bring in the wine, we can begin!”
The kitchen doors opened, and the staff began circulating through the room, bearing ewers of wine, filling each cup. As they did Penny touched Moira on the shoulder, and my daughter hurried from the room. Matthew watched her go enviously, while Conall hadn’t a clue what was occurring. Little Irene was being kept in the nursery. I glanced at Penny, a question in my eyes.
“She’s fetching your cup for the feast,” she said in answer to my unspoken query.
“Ahh,” I said in sudden understanding. Idly I watched Moira’s progress with my magesight while half listening to Rose’s introductory speech. My daughter was met in the kitchen by Peter, who handed her a small silver tray bearing a bottle of wine and two silver goblets. I could tell by her posture that she was excited by the responsibility, and Peter patted her on the head after carefully passing her the tray. After she left him, I noticed that she stopped behind the door for a moment. That little scamp, she just stole a drink from my cup! I couldn’t help but smile. What child doesn’t want to know what their parent’s drink tastes like? I could sense her face crinkling in disgust after her sip.
As Moira emerged from the kitchen and approached the table, Rose motioned toward her, “As a gesture of peace and goodwill, even as we remember that bloody day, King Nicholas was gracious enough to gift us with a bottle of Dalensan Instritas, one of the finest, and since the war, rarest, vintages from Gododdin. While there isn’t enough for all of us, our good Count and Countess will be using it for the toast tonight in acknowledgement of the peace that now exists between our two nations.”
I had to hand it to her… Rose knew how to manage a crowd. Her skillful speech had put a thoughtful face on most of the crowd, although I did hear one person in the back muttering about ‘damned Gododdin wine’. Moira approached me with a look of serious concentration, determined not to spill the wine on the tray before her.
“I brought your wine, Father,” she said as she set the tray down on the table. With a flourish that must have been rehearsed, she picked up the first cup and handed it to me. “This one is for you, Father… and this one for you, Mother,” she announced as she passed each goblet to us. After we had taken them, she curtsied and moved back to stand in her place beside Penny. My heart swelled with pride to see her so graceful in front of the crowd.
Rose’s voice rose majestically as she spoke, emphasizing her movement as she lifted her goblet, “Raise your cups, for peace and remembrance… for those that sacrificed that we might be here today, for the blood that was shed for us, and the lives that were lost! Raise your cups that we might never forget the price of the peace we now enjoy! Raise your cups for the man that defends us still, and drink in the certain knowledge that we will defend him and his honor to the last! Drink to our most noble lord, the Count di’Cameron, Mordecai Illeniel!”
As her speech rose to a crescendo, her eyes met mine, and I was surprised to see tears in them. Looking past her to Dorian, I noticed his own eyes were wet as well. I felt unworthy to see such devotion in their gazes, but everywhere I turned I saw it echoed… even in my own family’s faces. A deafening roar drowned even my jaded self-doubt, as every man and woman in the hall shouted out their agreement.
A wave of love and affection from the people I had striven so hard to preserve and protect washed over me, and I found myself moved to tears even as I returned their gesture. Turning my cup up, I downed it in one long draught before setting it aside to stare at the noisy crowd of people, my people. “I don’t deserve this, but from my heart I thank you all,” I answered them; though it was doubtful that any beyond the closest could hear me. My throat had become choked with emotion.
Returning to my seat, I waved for everyone to sit down. I studiously ignored the smiles of my friends, as I wiped away my tears and pretended to look for the food. My task was made more difficult, as first Penny and then each of my children insisted upon kissing me on the cheeks. And people wonder why I hate this damn holiday.
Rose leaned across the table to whisper close to my ear, “I meant every word, lest you think I was putting on a show, but I still think you’re an ass for making my husband continue his pa
trols.”
My eyebrows shot up in surprise at her remark, and for a moment my heart relaxed. For some reason, while all the praise and adulation had made me more anxious, her honest complaint eased my tension. I gave her my most genuine smile of the evening, “That is an unfortunate consequence of the responsibility I have taken as the Count di’Cameron.”
She nodded in understanding. Lady Rose Thornbear might not agree with my decision, but she did understand the position I was in as liege lord. She had been born to such authority after all; she knew it as well as any.
“I think that was the best toast we’ve had since we began these holidays,” Penny told me from where she sat beside me. “Rose certainly has a way with words.”
My lips quirked into a half smile. “When she knows she can use them to embarrass someone, she will go to any length to accomplish that goal,” I replied.
My lovely wife laughed, “I told you she’d find a way to punish you.”
I nodded in agreement, “At least the worst is over. Now we can relax and enjoy some wine. My nerves could certainly use another cup.”
Penny reached for the bottle, and began to fill my goblet, but as I reached for it a wave of mild dizziness washed over me. Placing my hand against the side of the table in an attempt to steady myself, I put my other hand against the side of my head, “Whoa…”
My wife’s brows furrowed, “Are you alright? Do you sense something?”
I waved my hands at her, “No, I’m fine. Just felt dizzy for a moment. That wine may be more potent that I realized.” I took a sip from the goblet in my hand. It didn’t taste particularly strong, but then the best wines generally didn’t.
“You never have been able to hold your drink,” Dorian teased from where he sat beside Rose.
Opening my eyes wide, I responded gleefully, “Oh really? You are going to lecture me on drinking? Perhaps the ladies here would like to hear about your first time with a full tankard of ale in your belly.”